Carter (The Harlow Brothers Book 1) (30 page)

Carter reaches for me and I willingly crawl into his lap. He pulls me close holding me tightly, as I place my head on his shoulder and wrap my hands around him. I relax in his embrace taking in all his love, knowing I’ll never have to worry about him hurting me. I feel lighter, more at ease than I’ve been in years, and even though we’re unclothed, it feels right this way. Nothing is holding us back, no barriers, and I don’t mind for one second of opening up the wounds. Carter will heal me, strengthen me, and make me whole again. His hands slowly and lightly rub up and down my back as he says, “I can’t imagine what you went through, or how you felt not having anyone there for you. I don’t know why you had to face the terrible things you did, but I do know this.” He pulls me back to look at me in the eyes. “I will do everything in my power to make you forget. Every second of every day, I’ll replace those hurtful words with kind and loving ones. All the fucked up memories you have will be replaced with me loving you and caring for you like you deserve.” My eyes fill with tears, but not of sadness. It’s from feeling the surge of truth behind his words. His conviction, and the unconditional love he makes me feel. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to take you away from it all. I’m so fucking sorry I let you go, and let you stay away.” His hands take my cheeks as he tells me, “If I could go back I would’ve never let you go. I would’ve shown you how much I loved you and how much you meant to me, and still mean to me. I can’t change what happened, Shel. As much as I want that asshole to pay for what he did, and for what your mother did to you, I can’t. All I can do is show you how you’ll never ever feel anything but love from me. I don’t care if it takes the rest of our lives. I’ll never stop loving you, and proving to you that I’m exactly what you need.”

He gently brings me to his luscious lips, and his kiss leaves me thinking of nothing but him. He’s taking over, already making me forget what I went through. His tongue touches my lips, asking, wanting permission to invade my mouth. I don’t hesitate letting him overload my very being. His kiss is tender, passionate, and takes my breath away. Desire fills me once more, but Carter pulls away before we both get lost in lust. I’m left panting, and as I gaze into his honey brown eyes as he says softly, “I wish I could find the words to tell you how much I love you.” He grins and says, “There’s just not enough words in this world to tell you, Shel. I know fate brought you back to me for a reason, and I truly believe it’s because we both needed each other. You’re my other half, the part of me that I can’t live without. I regret that we spent so much time apart, missing a piece of us, and how we had to live not knowing if we would ever see each other again.” His forefinger touches my lip, dragging it down. “But now that I have you back, there’s nothing, not a damn thing that will ever take you away from me again. You’re mine, Shelby.”

“You promise?” I ask.

He smiles at me, before declaring, “I promise. Forever and always.”

I reach up and stroke his cheek knowing how much his promise means to me. He leans into my touch, and I tell him, “I love you so much, Carter.”

“I know you do. Now, let me show you again how much I love you.” I giggle as he flips me on my back and he spends the rest of the night showing me everything he promised and so much more.

It’s been two weeks since Shelby opened up to me and finally began to move on. It’s done wonders for us, and our relationship. I catch myself feeling guilty and responsible for what she endured, but I’m slowly getting better at accepting it was out of my control. One day, I’ll be able to fully forgive myself for letting her go and feeling as though I’m the ultimate reason she was hurt so much. Which is why I’ve kept the promises I made her. I wasn’t ever going to break them, but I feel the need to tell her multiple times a day what those promises were. I’ve showered her in nothing but my love, nothing but devotion, and I can tell she’s enjoying every second of it. We lay in bed most days when we’re off work, enjoying each other, and slowly making our relationship stronger than it’s ever been. She’s also been staying over most nights, and I’m more than ready for her to move in with me. I haven’t asked her yet, knowing she isn’t quite there. I’m trying to be patient, but I can’t help but want her with me at all times. I have a lot to make up for, and I don’t want to waste another second without her.

I chuckle as I place my coffee mug in the sink, hearing her singing very loudly in the shower. We’re getting ready to head to my parents for Thanksgiving, and I have a pretty big announcement to make. I haven’t told Shelby yet. Mostly because I hope she says yes to what I want to offer her. I’ve noticed every time she talks about her old job, she has a sad look in her eyes, and I know she misses what she loves doing. I also know she only took the waitress job at the Waffle House because there wasn’t any job openings for her degree. I’m going to change that. She can work for the firm, and I already know Dad will be on board with it. I hope she accepts the job. If she says no, since she can be stubborn at times, I already have a plan B to convince her otherwise if she declines. It might include torturing her in sweet pleasure all night until she agrees, but she doesn’t know I plan on doing that anyway.

My phone starts to ring, pulling me out of my thoughts, and I turn around to grab it when I see who’s calling. “Hey, man. How’s it going?”

“It’s going good. How’s everything there?”

Clark’s voice is comforting to hear. It’s been a few months since he’s been able to call, and knowing he’s safe while on deployment sends relief through me. I frown at his tone, and I can tell he’s not handling this deployment as well as the others. I’ve always known when something is off with any of my brothers since we’re so close. “Things are great here. Getting ready to head over to Mom and Dads. I wish you were here. It’s not the same without the entire family.”

“I know and trust me, I want to be there. I’m over the fucking desert.”

Clark and I talk for a while, me mostly doing the talking as he listens. I tell him everything that’s going on here, and let him know how Shelby and I are doing. He, of course, asks how everyone is, and I wonder why he didn’t call Mom and Dad like he normally does. “Are you not going to call Mama? You know how pissed she’s going to be if she finds out you called me first.”

He chuckles and says, “I don’t know about that. You’re the oldest and the perfect child therefore, she’ll forgive me. I’m going to call them soon. I just wanted to hear how things were going with you.”

I ignore his comment about me being the perfect child, knowing he’s trying to get a rise out of me. But I can’t help the uneasy feeling that runs through me. He’s not telling me something, and it’s starting to worry me. “You sure you’re alright, Clark?”

“Yeah.” I hear him sigh deeply, and he says, “It’s just … tough being here again.”

“Maybe it’s time to retire?”

“Yeah, maybe.”

I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like for him. Being in combat, and seeing the shit he does … it would scar anyone. I just hope he can hold it together for a few more months. “Almost done, man. Then you’ll be home, and we can make up for lost time.”

“I’m looking forward to it.” We talk for a few more minutes before he lets me go to call Mom and Dad. I clench my jaw as I place my phone back down on the counter, worry starting to overtake me. I know this isn’t the first time he’s been shipped off, but something’s different this time.

“Carter? What’s wrong?”

I snap my head up hearing Shelby’s voice, and she walks over to me, then gently touches my arm. I didn’t realize she was done in the shower, but I’m glad she’s here. I can see the concern in her eyes, and I can’t help but grin when I notice her hair is wrapped in a towel. “Clark just called, and I’m just worried about him. He sounded … off, and I wish this deployment would end so he could come home.”

She runs her hand up and down my arm as she says, “I’m sure he’s fine, and he’s just missing being here for the holidays. Just think, in a few months he’ll be back and hopefully he’ll decide to stay around this time.”

I grab her hand pulling her to me. Her other hand grips my arm as I wrap mine around her. “I want him to get out, but that’s his choice. I just know he’s not going to come back the same this time.” I don’t know it for sure, but it’s a feeling I have. Something isn’t right about this deployment.

“You do have every right to be concerned, and I have faith he’ll know he has everyone’s support when he gets back.”

I grin, knowing she’s right. “It’s kind of hard to have a serious conversation with you when there’s a towel on top of your head,” I say jokingly.

She laughs and playfully smacks my arm. “You better watch it, or I’ll tell William and Annie how awful you’re being.”

I shake my head at her idle threat. “Oh yeah? And what will they do about it?” I slowly pull the towel off her head, dropping it, and her eyes dilate with desire.

“Well,” she starts as I lean in closer to her lips. I stop only inches away as she says with a sultry voice, “I forgot what I was saying.”

“Oh, you did?”

I don’t miss the sharp intake of her voice as I grasp her ass, pulling her into my now hard cock. “Carter, you always know what to do to make me forget.”

I smirk and watch her as she licks her lips. “It’s a skill. What can I say?”

I laugh as she shakes her head and pushes me away. “I’m on to you. We don’t have time for that.”

I huff, looking at the clock and seeing we only have thirty minutes before we have to leave. “I think we can get a quickie in.”

“Ha, ha. Nice try.”

“Fine.” I sneak in a kiss, and when I pull back, she’s smiling. “I do have something to tell you and ask you.”

“Oh really?” I lean on the counter as she picks up the towel. She starts to run it through her hair and says, “I have something to tell you too.”

“You first,” I say, wondering what she has up her sleeve.

“Well, I was thinking.” She continues to dry her hair with the towel and says, “Maybe Cason could teach me some self-defense moves?”

I nod in agreement, thinking it’s a great idea. Every woman should know at least the basic moves of self-defense. “Yeah, I’m sure he’d be more than happy to teach you.”

She holds the towel in her hands and looks away before saying, “I figured so. I’ve just been thinking about it a lot since we talked.” I reach out and grab her hand as she glances back at me. “I don’t want to be weak anymore, Carter.”

“Shel, what you went through, it doesn’t mean you’re weak.”

She sighs deeply, and I can tell she’s still struggling to work through everything still, and I didn’t expect her to be over it instantly. “I think if I learn how to defend myself I won’t be so helpless if a situation like that were to ever arise again.”

“I won’t let that happen,” I tell her and it’s a promise.

“I know, but it’ll give me piece of mind.”

“Okay, we can talk to him about it when we see him soon.” At this point, I’ll do anything to make her not feel weak, and for her to know she can take care of herself. Granted she has me to do that for her, but knowing she’s going in the right direction and willing to take the steps she needs to move on, makes me proud of her.

“What did you want to tell me?”

“I’m going to take over the firm.” I watch as her eyes light up, and she smiles widely. “I’m going to tell Dad today.”

“That’s wonderful, Carter.” She drops the towel on the floor then wraps her arms around my neck. I hold onto her waist, still getting used to her being so open and close to me again. “I’m so proud of you, and I know you’ll do a great job.”

“There’s one other thing,” I add.

She frowns and asks, “What is it?”

“I want you to come and work for me. I know you really don’t like working as a waitress, and you can work from home if you’re worried about spending too much time together.”

“Carter, I …”

I push her wet hair behind her ear before she can finish. “You don’t have to say yes right this minute, but I would like you to help me run the firm. At least the business part of it. Just think about it, okay?”

“Alright, I’ll think about it.” She sighs as she glances down, I barely hear her as she says, “You’re too good for me.”

Placing a finger under her chin, I raise her head up to me. “Don’t ever think that, Shel. We’re perfect for each other, and I want to give you everything I can. If I can provide you with a job I know you love doing, then I’ll make it happen. Don’t second guess it.”

“How is it you know just what to say to make things so much better?”

“It’s easy when it’s with you.” I tilt my head down and place a sweet kiss on her lips. Her hands around my neck tightens, then move to my hair. I can’t get enough of her hands on me, caressing me, and showing me how much I mean to her. I never thought we’d have this again. I never in a million years thought what we have now would be so intense, and heart stopping at times. I kiss her once more, and I have to make myself pull away. “We need to finish getting ready, or Mama is going to kill both of us if we’re late.”

She laughs, a sound I want to hear all the time, and slowly takes her hands off of me. As much as I want to ravish her, Mama will be pissed if we’re late for our annual Thanksgiving lunch. I watch Shelby as she walks away, wondering how in the hell I got so lucky, and I send a silent thank you to fate for bringing her back to me.