Cash (Hawthorne Brothers Romance) (8 page)

“Because I wanted to show you that if you don’t ever ask me, whether that’s right now or sometime later, that I’d have to leave eventually. I’d stay here if I were dating somebody and it was going somewhere, but not if I was just banging somebody,” I said, making sure to keep my voice down around the banging part.

“So you’d stay?” he asked.

“Yes, as long as you actually wanted to be with me and weren’t just using me or something. Why would I want to leave? I found a man who actually makes me laugh and feel like a girl, who makes me smile every time he texts me,” I said, looking him in the eyes.

I stared into his eyes, really looked deep within them. I could almost see the cogs and gears turning deep inside his brain. I saw my reflection in his eyes, a woman who just wanted to be with him looking back at me. Did he see that, though, or was I just crazy?

“So, hypothetically, if I were to ask you to make it more serious and to take the next step, what would you say?” he asked.

“Well, hypothetically, of course, I think I would have to say yes and explore that relationship to its fullest potential,” I replied.

“So if I were to ask you right now to be official and be my girlfriend, a fully exclusive, monogamous relationship, you’d say yes?” he asked.

“I would,” I replied in a soft voice as I looked at him.

“Then will you take that next step with me and be my girlfriend?” he asked, his voice cracking a little.

“I will,” I said, smiling.

He leaned in and kissed me. I felt like a middle-schooler with her first boyfriend. The woman who was so jaded was now a little giddy, and she wasn’t afraid to accept that. 

Chapter Fifteen

Cash

“This is all so fancy!” my mother said as she looked around the set.

“Can I get you anything, Mrs. Hawthorne? A coffee, perhaps?” one of the assistants asked.

She looked at me as if she were bewildered, having never been asked that before except in a restaurant. This was all so new to them, to have people cater to them and treat them like big shots, which they were considering they were my parents. All anybody wanted to do was be great to them, like I’d been great to all of them before, and I think it started to fluster my parents.

“That would be lovely, thank you. I take one cream and two sugars, please,” my mother said.

“Same for me, if you wouldn’t mind,” my father chimed in.

“Certainly, Mr. Hawthorne,” the assistant said before running off.

“They treat you like this every day?” my mother asked.

“Pretty much. You can get whatever you need at any moment. If they don’t have it, they send someone out to get it. I don’t really abuse the service, though. It made me really uncomfortable at first on the other movie, but now it can be helpful if I get a craving,” I said.

“Well, like you said, you better not abuse that service and hospitality. I know I didn’t raise any of my boys to take advantage of other people,” she said.

“Mom, they get paid to do this stuff,” I said, laughing.

“I agree with the boy, Carol. Always be gracious when they offer to get you something, but they’re paid to run errands and help out around here,” my father said.

“Still, just be a nice boy,” she said as she looked around, mesmerized by the sets.

“Here you are,” the assistant said, bringing them each a piping hot cup of coffee.

“So this is how a movie is made?” she asked.

“Yeah, those green screens are for the computers so those guys in post-production can edit in backgrounds, explosions, and everything else. The movie set isn’t nearly as exciting as you’d think it would be. Most of the stunts are with doubles, and it’s mostly choppy work, doing random scenes and then cutting them together,” I said.

“Hey Cash,” Charlie said as he walked up, smiling.

“Charlie! Mom, Dad, this is my friend and co-star, Charlie,” I said, introducing them.

“Oh, Cash has talked about you, that I’m sure. It’s so nice to meet you,” my mother said, giving him a hug as if he were an old friend she hadn’t seen in years.

“Nice to meet you,” my father said, shaking his hand.

“How are you liking the tour?” Charlie asked.

“It’s all so great, just so nice,” my mother said, taking a sip of her coffee.

“My parents came for the last movie, and they were blown away by the scope of it all. It can be a little daunting if you’ve never experienced it before,” Charlie said.

“I was just telling them how the green screens work,” I said.

“Yeah, when you see that and realize we’re not actually hanging off a building or having explosions go on behind us, the finished product can lose some of its magic,” Charlie said with a laugh. “How are you enjoying your trip beyond this?”

“We just had dinner with Cash and his girlfriend last night,” my mother said, embarrassingly.

“Oh, he’s in a relationship? He didn’t tell me,” Charlie said, looking at me.

“It just happened last night, so it’s not like we’ve been together for a while and I’ve been keeping it from people,” I said, diffusing the situation.

“Wait, is it that waitress we saw that one night?” Charlie asked, in shock.

“You’ve met her?” my mother asked.

“The night Cash saw her, she was our waitress at a restaurant we went to. I can’t believe it worked out that well!” Charlie said.

“Why not?” my mother asked.

“She wouldn’t go out with him at first, because he’s a big movie star,” he said.

“You’d think that would help the situation,” my father said, laughing.

“Yeah, I think she didn’t want to look like any other girl, throwing themselves at him because he’s famous and makes good money and all that. She seems like a good girl with a great head on her shoulders,” Charlie said.

“That just makes me like her even more, Cash. You need to hold onto her. A woman like that, who wants you more than what you can give her, is a dime a dozen in this day and age, especially here. Don’t screw it up,” my mother said in a loving way only a mother could.

“Yeah, I’ll try not to,” I said.

“Cash and Charlie, we need you on set in five,” a production assistant yelled over the speakers.

“Well, that’s our cue,” I said.

“Is there any way we can see it happen? You know, the shooting of the scene?  It fascinates me,” my father said.

“Yeah, that shouldn’t be a problem. Just make sure not to make any noise or talk, or else we could all get in trouble,” I said before we started heading over to the set.

The makeup artists touched up Charlie and me, and I saw my parents talking to some of the crew across the set. David was more than fine with them hanging around, insisting on it, actually, which made me more at ease. I just wanted to do a good job so badly that I didn’t want to let anybody down, and having boisterous parents, mainly my mom, meant that I couldn’t ever let my guard down, especially at work.

I acted out the scene, an outdoors scene where we hid behind broken concrete blocks and other traffic signs as men stood near a green screen about twenty feet behind us. It sometimes felt silly, looking up and having to imagine a burning building or whatever else, but I guess it helped bring out the kid in us all. I certainly know I used to act like that as a kid, seeing things that weren’t there, like I was a superhero or movie star.

We took three takes, each one getting progressively better, before David yelled cut and said we had our scene and we were going to set up for the next one, though it would take about twenty or thirty minutes.

“That was so great,” my mother said, hugging me.

“That’s movie magic,” I said.

We walked back to my trailer, me grabbing a water on the way, before we sat down in the air-conditioned trailer and hung out before my next call. It was nice having them here, even if they came when I was actively shooting instead of when we were done, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. It only sucked that they were leaving soon, and I had no clue when I’d see them again.

Chapter Sixteen

Jenna

Although I liked Carol and Ed, I was a little relieved when Cash texted me almost a week later and told me they’d left and caught their flight. They decided to stay a few extra days, which was fine, though I didn’t get to see them again. School had been so taxing, and waitressing wasn’t exactly a breeze, either. Even though I gagged at the idea, I almost wished I could be one of those rich housewives, like on those reality shows, though Botox and lip fillers weren’t exactly things I’d look forward to, no matter how young they’d make me look.

Things with Cash had been excellent, far better than I’d hoped, though our relationship was a secret. I’d only told Malia, because I didn’t think it was an option not to. She would’ve found out sooner or later anyway.

The tabloids hadn’t picked up on it, though one person in a class did apparently see the picture of Cash and me out at dinner that night and asked me about it. I just said it wasn’t me, and the flash kind of distorted my face enough that she believed it, before dropping the subject and never bringing it up again. I knew it was a matter of time before that lie unfolded, though.

Cash did have a red carpet event coming up, in about two weeks, and he asked me to go with him, though I hadn’t given him an answer yet. He said he needed to know by tonight, when I’d be seeing him for the first time since we became official. 

It wasn’t that I wasn’t supportive of him and his profession, but going to something like that, a girl like me, it was just a little much. The flashing cameras and sucking in your gut and wearing some expensive dress that cost more than all my student loans put together was frightening, and I wasn’t sure I could do it. 

Besides, plenty of people went to these things alone, and me going with him would cause a lot of media speculation and my life being put out there. Was I ready for that? Did I really have a choice? It was bound to happen sooner or later. It wasn’t like we could date and be together and have nobody ever see us out together or take our pictures. Dating a superstar like him was essentially a death sentence in terms of privacy.

Cash wanted to have a movie night later that night, and I offered to pick up take-out on my way over, but he tried to not let me do it. “Let me get it,” he said over text, as if I couldn’t afford a dinner for the two of us. I denied his advances, telling him I wasn’t going to let him pay every time and that it was my turn to treat him, though he struggled a bit. I didn’t give him a choice in the end, when I told him I’d left and was picking up food whether he liked it or not. He finally gave me his order when I said that.

He opened the gate from the door as I pulled into his driveway and parked the car. “Let me get those,” he said as I opened the door and handed him the food.

“Thank you, dear,” I said, getting out and kissing him.

“I missed the taste of your lips,” he said with a smile.

“You just missed the taste of my tropical lip gloss,” I said, laughing.

“That too,” he said while we walked inside.

“I got us a lot. I wasn’t sure what exactly you liked in terms of extras, but I hope you like these. I tried to get both healthy and not-so-healthy options, since I know you need to keep it on the trim side with your contract,” I said as we unloaded the bags of Chinese food.

“These green beans smell amazing,” he said while opening the little white container.

We fixed our plates, mine a little larger than his, which admittedly made me a little self-conscious. I knew he liked a woman who could eat, though, so I tried not to think about it too much. Still, I didn’t want to look like a hog at the state fair while he pecked away at his brown rice and vegetables.

“Anything good picked?” I asked while he loaded Netflix.

“A few good things, one even with Charlie in it,” he said, browsing through the selections.

He turned on a movie, a romantic comedy with Charlie in it, which I thought was cute—not only because his friend was in it, but because he chose a genre most men would gag at, mainly because he knew I secretly liked them. 

Fifteen minutes into the movie, when our plates were empty and my stomach was full of MSG and regrets, I scooted in closer to him, cuddling up, and he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me in. The full feeling extended to my heart, and it felt warm not because of the food, but because of him. I’d had boyfriends before, even one kind of serious, though I never felt this way, and we’d only been seeing each other for five or six weeks now. I wasn’t in love with him, but with the way things were going I could see that happening someday in the future.

“So, have you given any more thought to the event?” he asked with an almost nervous tone.

“Yeah, I think,” I replied.

“I’m sorry for annoying you with it, I really am, but the designers are up my ass because they’d need to have you fitted and all that in advance, and with it only a couple weeks away, they’d need to see you really soon,” he said.

“Are you sure you want me to go?” I asked.

“Why wouldn’t I?” he asked.

“It’s a big step, isn’t it?” I asked.

“Well, I guess so,” he said.

“We’re basically telling the world we’re together. The tabloids will write about us, people will ask you a lot of questions, and I know I’ll be stopped at work and at school. I just want to make sure that you, you know, see a future or at least a relationship with me before causing you that stress or trouble,” I said.

“If you don’t want to go, it’s fine, I won’t be mad or hate you or anything,” he said.

“I just think it’s a lot for me right now, with school and work, and then the stress of it all. I told you before, I’m not the type of girl who wants to be draped on your arm and have tons of lights in my face. It’s not that I don’t want to support you—I do, more than anything. I care about your work and your future and being there for you, but I think I just need more time,” I said as my insides twisted and turned.

I hated letting him down like this, especially so early in the relationship, but I also felt like I couldn’t sacrifice my own happiness or sanity just to appease his. If we’d been dating exclusively for a couple months and he asked me, I’d go, but it had only been a week that we’d been official, and the only people who knew were Malia and his parents. It just wasn’t the right time.

“Okay, I’ll let the designers know. It’s no problem, I’ve gone to many alone before,” he said, giving me a peck on the lips.

I looked up at him as he watched the movie, and I thought I saw a hint of sadness in his eyes. I put my head back down against his chest, my attention turning towards the screen. I felt a little bad and wondered if I should’ve sucked it up, put on my big girl tights, and gone with. But he’d get over it, right?

I wouldn’t say that Cash was reserved the rest of the night, but he certainly wasn’t all there, if that makes sense. Usually we made out a little, cuddled, held hands, or even something a little spicier, but tonight it was like the bare minimum. He claimed he wasn’t mad at me, or even upset in any way, but why would he be acting this way if he were completely fine? 

After the movie he suggested going to bed, which I didn’t argue with, even though it was a little early. He claimed an early set time was the reason behind it, but usually we’d go to bed later even if he had one of those. We walked upstairs and he gave me some shorts and a t-shirt, him wearing just shorts. I guess we were forgoing naked cuddling, which was my favorite with him. Maybe this was the equivalent of your wife putting on flannel pajamas, the dreaded sign that you weren’t getting any later that night. 

We didn’t say much, a few mumbles of conversation here or there. I washed my face and brushed my teeth while he did the same in the sink next to me. I thought about taking it back, saying I’d go with him if he’d just give me affection, but I knew I was stronger than that. I couldn’t just concede that easily, because my concerns were truthful and not just because I didn’t want to do it. If I gave up already, that would set the precedent for how things would happen between us in the future. I couldn’t risk that happening.

We crawled into bed, Cash unlocking his phone and going through some e-mails and text messages, and I did the same, telling Malia that tonight wasn’t going to be sexy, though I was staying over. I flipped through Instagram, liking a few pictures of cats in funny positions, while I waited for Cash to put his phone down and turn off the lights. He finally did ten minutes later, and I turned onto my side before he cuddled up to me.

Even though I was happy for the affection, it did feel a little forced, almost like he knew I was upset, or that he felt like he
had
to cuddle with me. Either way it felt weird, kind of upsetting, though I just fell asleep and didn’t bother to push him away. I guess trouble was bound to brew in paradise at some time or another.

•••

“Good morning, beautiful,” he said as I woke up.

“Good morning,” I replied, smiling, before wiping my eyes. I wondered if he was still mad at me, but I was too afraid to ask, though I really wanted to know.

“I don’t want to go to work,” he said, lying back and putting his forearm against his forehead.

“I don’t want to go to class. It sounds horrible,” I said, exhaling.

“I better get up and wash my face and brush my teeth before we have to get out of here,” he said, sliding out of bed.

I let out a sigh before slipping out of bed and changing into my clothes from last night. I tossed his shirt and shorts onto the bed and went downstairs before checking my phone and seeing nothing there. Surprising that Malia wouldn’t say anything annoying to me.

Minutes later he came down and grabbed some juice from the refrigerator and a muffin that was on his counter. “Ready?” he asked.

We walked outside and he kissed me goodbye before getting into his car. I got into mine, going out before him, as we each turned in different directions and our night together was officially over. 

I’d tossed and turned for most of the night, wondering if I made the right call, or if I should’ve just gone with him to the event. I mean, I
was
his girlfriend now, and even though it had been a short while, shouldn’t I be responsible for accompanying him to these things? He’d go with me to some school event, assuming I let him, but I wouldn’t return the favor. 

I thought about it the entire way home while I tapped my fingers against the steering wheel and listened to the radio. I pulled into my spot, seeing Malia’s car parked out front, and did the walk of shame into the townhouse, where she was eating her cereal.

“Back already?” she asked, as if it were five in the morning.

“I have class to get ready for,” I said as I set my things down.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Just my first relationship problem,” I said.

“Already?” she asked, as if she were in disbelief.

“He asked me to go to some red carpet event in some designer dress and I said no. I just think it’s too soon to be put into that situation,” I said.

“Into what situation?” she asked.

“Telling the world about me, about us. I don’t know, I know I’m being irrational, but we just started dating and going from zero to sixty is kind of a lot. Maybe it would be different if I were an actress, but I’m not, I’m just a waitress and a college student. I don’t wear any other hats,” I said.

“I agree, kind of,” she said, before slurping the milk in the bottom of the bowl.

“Wait, you agree with me?” I asked, in total shock.

“I said kind of, and that’s a big kind of. You guys are kind of new, and you’re not exactly a woman who shares everything with the world. You’re more private, though you’re not a hermit, and I know that if you’d been dating for like four months and then he asked you to go, then you would. The reason I added the kind of, though, is because of what will happen, or could happen, with you not going,” she said.

“I don’t follow,” I said.

“Well, now Cash has to go to this event alone, right?” she asked.

“Right,” I said.

“Well, other women will be there, gorgeous actresses who will all look hot as hell in their sequin pageant dresses. They’ll talk to him, flirt with him, and likely try to get him back to their places that night. Hell, maybe they’ll even gang up and offer him a threesome, an orgy, or whatever else you can think of. He
is
an attractive, famous, and very popular movie star at the moment. With you there, you’d be able to keep them back like a circus trainer holding back a lion with a chair. Without you there, the chair is gone and the lionesses can pounce and get what they want,” she said without missing a beat.

I started to run the worst-case scenarios through my mind, thinking about hot young A-list celebrities hitting on him and touching his arm before taking selfies and trading numbers. Even though the thought was horrible and I wanted to bleach it from my mind, I had to trust him and trust that he was honest when he said I was different and that he really liked me and wanted to date me. If I doubted that now, why was I even with him? I needed a man I could trust, and this man in particular would have to kiss other women in movies and take pictures with them on the red carpets. I needed to believe that all that was just work stuff.