Authors: Janice Hadden
I
came into a large house full of students that I hardly know, yet all
their faces were familiar. I planned on clinging to my friends the
rest of the night and pretended that I was enjoying myself when the
whole time I wanted that night to be over with—when Sandy, who
was the root of all my suffering came up to me. She was wearing her
usual blown up hair, matching a colorful ensemble that definitely
would attract attention.
“
Hey
Sue, you look good,” she greeted. Saying those words didn’t
sound right. She’s up to something, I suspected. Then she
whispered in my ear like I was her best friend.
“
You
know James, pointing at him in the kitchen, really wanted to talk to
you, but he’s a bit shy.” James had been the one guy that
I would die to talk to and be willing to risk pretty much anything
for. Afterwards, Sandy disappeared to mingle with her friends. Well,
what could Sandy possibly do that she hasn’t done already? I
thought
to
myself.
With
my palm sweating and my heart accelerating, I bolstered into the
kitchen. Sounding confident, I said, “Hi…James right?”
a stupid line, I know… since I’ve only been in love with
him since second grade. James eyebrows arched higher and gave me the
‘Who-are-you-and-why-are-you-talking-to me?’ look. I
continued, trying to
save
myself from sounding like a complete moron. “Aren’t you
glad Junior High is over?” Then his face lit, he grinned
suspiciously. “Oh yeah,
Sussy
Chubby.
Me and the guys have a graduation present for you.” Smirking,
he gestured for the rest of his friends and Sandy to come and spray
me with whip cream and red soda. They all came in with bottles of
redi-whip and red soda spraying my hair, face and clothes. James
yelled. “Here! you know you want some more.” Everyone
laughed. Laughter echoed in the room while I stood in humiliation.
After
wiping a clump of now too drenched whipped cream from my face, I ran,
barely seeing what was in front of me and slipped in the kitchen
floor, face first. As if the nightmare wasn’t degrading enough,
my dress flew all the way up, showing my beige cotton underwear. Once
again, laughter echoed in the room. I got up and walked fast to the
living room bathroom, almost to the back of the house and locked the
door.
How
can they be this cruel! Of all people, James and of all places, here
in front of all the graduating eight graders. I was drenched in red
soda, sticky white, tears, rage and complete humiliation. I was
sobbing when I heard a knock on the door. “Go away,” I
yelled.
“
Sue,
it’s Kat and Eva.
“
I
just want to be left alone, Please.” They tried to convince me
a couple of times before they realized I wasn't ready to come out.
“
Okay,
Sue but we’ll be back in five minutes. We are not leaving and
we will deal with this, it will be alright.” I heard murmurs
and footsteps leaving. I washed my face and hair with cold water
while I continually went hysterical. My hair became a sticky goo, my
clothes stained, my mascara had run and my eyes were red. My head
spun with questions. How was I going to get out of here? and most
importantly, how was I going to face everyone? I didn’t want to
live any longer. The thought of my meaningless life, overwhelmed me.
I
opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out everything inside,
including the different bottles of pills. I could hardly read the
labels for the whip cream and tears made my eyes hazy. After the
fourth bottle I found some pills that were prescribed to Mrs. Pines.
Gabrielle’s mom who hosted the party. She was just outside with
some of the parents. I opened the cap and popped four pills in my
mouth all at one time, got some water from the sink and washed it
down. I popped four more and another four. Then I begun to lose track
of how much I had taken. I felt sick, dizzy and fainted. I slouched
down on the bathroom floor and that was the last thing I remembered.
“
She’s
not breathing. Someone call 911.”
We
found Sue unconscious. When she didn’t answer for the tenth
time, we tried kicking the door but it was jammed shut until Vinny
gave it a strong side kick and finally it swung open.
Sandy
who masterminded the whole thing looked scared. She had been taunting
Sue since grade school and made it her mission to use her for her own
personal amusement. She also had acquired followers to make it their
mission to target specific students to tease and taunt. In more than
one occasion, we warned Sandy that she needed to leave Sue alone,
that if she didn’t stop, she’ll have to deal with us. It
worked for a while, but then she found ways to spread gossip without
looking guilty. Her face page spread all sorts of stories, telltales
and lies about whoever she wanted to see suffer.
After
the incident, everyone was questioned. The girls and I told the
principal and the police everything that happened, beginning with all
the notes she used to leave on Sue’s locker, the gossips she
spread, that Sue ate lard for breakfast and all the comments she use
to make about her weight and looks, as well as the other kids she
targeted. Sandy and James got suspended for the incident, though we
thought that was too lenient. Her parents had taken down her online
accounts and was grounded.
After
Junior high, Sue began to emerge from her shell. Most would probably
think that she would continue being a target for bullies, but to most
surprise, she really had blossomed to someone quite lovely. She had a
renewed sense of self. She had shed most of her extra pounds. But it
wasn’t just about her weight, she had gained a lot of
confidence. I think the support from her family, the school and her
friends changed the way she viewed herself. Ultimately, she decided
she didn’t want to be a victim any longer. She wasn’t
afraid to stand up for herself. She became very active in High School
and had become one of the biggest advocates for anti-bullying
campaigns.
S
unshine
was all I could see when I woke. The next day seemed to show a
promise of another great weather. The wintry air was nowhere in
sight. Some of us decided to do a little shopping after we had
finished breakfast. I took a quick shower and unpacked my white
cotton dress and paired it with my platforms. Cash, Al, Sam, Airi and
I went to the local street market while the rest went surfing with
the exception of Vinny and Phillip, who partied apparently more than
they should have and was still in bed, snoring when we left. We had
gone to several booths that sold accessories, décor and
everything local. Sam and I both got sarongs and Airi bought a
necklace. We were looking at some bracelets when out of nowhere, Cash
leaned down and started anchoring an anklet on my right leg.
“
Here,”
he said. “I like this on you…unless you don’t like
it?” I lifted my leg and looked at the anklet. Attached to the
anklet were small shell charms.
“
I
love it,” I said and gave him a peck on his cheek. He held my
hand as we all strolled down to move on to look at the other items.
Cash was more than just my ex boyfriend. He really was one of my best
friends.
Cash
“
W
ill
you go out with me?” A slim boy with clipped short hair asked
as I was walking to my tenth grade class. I knew he liked me. It had
been a rumor for quite some time now.
“
I’m
sorry, but…I can’t,” I firmly said, trying to get
away from the giggling noises behind us like we were still in grade
school.
“
Well,
why not?” A little teasing smug look was on his face. He asked
confidently as if somehow going out with him was a privilege.
“
I
just don’t want to go out with anyone…okay,” I
said softly but rather seriously as I rushed Into class, hoping he‘d
stop pursuing me. I really didn’t want to date anyone. I had
this romantic notion that someday when I meet that person, the right
person that was meant for me, that I would know immediately, that he
was the one. I didn‘t feel that way about Cash. I didn‘t
feel that way about anyone. I always felt like I was always waiting
for someone. In fact, I was so determined and sure about my destiny
that I gave nobody a thought. I refused to go out on any dates with
anyone since I knew that there would be no point.
Cash,
was certainly a cute boy. He was well rounded, funny and the most
caring and charismatic person I know. But I had been waiting for
someone—someone I haven’t met yet. I was dead set on
that. Cash’s pursuit of me didn’t let up. He always found
ways to be around my friends so that he could be around me.
Eventually, and without even trying, my friends and his, naturally
merged into one.
“
Um…Katheryna,
wait up. Cash jumped from where he was perched by the bushes and
sprinted toward me as I headed to the front of the school to meet
Steve. Avril, Sam and Airi were giggling as he approached us.
“
Hi
Cash, what’s up?” I said in my usual tone of almost
annoyance now.
“
Well,
I wanted to see if you wanted to see a movie this Friday?” His
eyes were always hopeful. He was used to being turned down, but I
couldn’t afford to feel bad, it’ll just make everything
so much harder for him. But, I think he figured that at one point I’d
give in.
“
Cash,
I can’t. I’m having the girls over—we’re
having a sleepover.”
“
Well,
next time then. Maybe next Friday?” he smiled, a hint of hope
was still in his eyes.
“
Cash,
I’m not going to go out with you,” I firmly said. His
eyes seemed to dim in defeat, but then… “I’m not
giving up…I’ll see you later then,” a hopeful
smile was on his face. A huge part of me didn’t want him to
pursue. I knew myself and I knew my heart.
“
Kat,
seriously, I don’t understand you. Will you go out with him
already. It’s not like you’re marrying him. It’s
just a date.” Sam had been Cash’s biggest supporter. In
some
ways, they’d become close. Cash was a very likeable guy. He had
a carefree personality but yet someone you can always rely on. “Look,
Sam, I don’t want to lead him on. It‘s not fair to him,”
I barked in frustration.
“
It’s
not leading on…it’s called giving him a chance. You
can’t be in love with
someone
who doesn’t exist. This fantasy of yours is unhealthy,”
Sam, said it with so much sincerity, I didn’t even feel
slightly offended. She‘d only been looking out for me like she
always had.
Though,
I felt genuine regret for letting Sam knew my reasons for not dating.
It just made Cash’s case even stronger.
“
I’ll
think about it,” I finally said.
“
I’m
not promising,” I threatened.
“
Just
have fun. It’s not a big commitment,” she flashed a
victorious smile.
I
still didn’t go out with Cash or anyone even after Cash
continually came up with different reasons why I should go out with
him—until one day, Cash had come up with a proposition.
“
I
have a proposal.” His eyes brimmed with excitement and a grin
so huge it looked more than suspicious.
“
I’m
too afraid to ask,” I said, a little worried about his tone and
a grin that is now transplanted on his face.
“
Here’s
my proposal…I know you’re pretty involved with your dad
with volunteer work…well…If I can get a hundred
volunteers to help paint a couple of the old schools, help with the
landscaping and all the cleaning, will you go out with me?…you’ll
be doing a great service to all those kids and believe me it’s
an opportunity of a lifetime.”
The
local church rallied to do several projects in the community and one
of them was to help with the lower ranking schools that needed some
sprucing up.
I
was out for words for a brief moment. “I don’t know
Cash.” It sounded like bribery or maybe even blackmail.
“
Don’t
give me any answers right now…think about it…sleep on
it and I’ll ask you again next week.” And before I could
say anything else, he sprinted to the parking lot. Definitely, I have
thought about it. Then, I figured Sam was right, it’s just a
date. I didn’t owe him anything after that.
By
The following weekend I took him on his offer. I needed as many
volunteers for the several projects that we were doing. And to my
lack of surprise, he did come up with more than a hundred volunteers.
I wasn’t sure how exactly he pulled it off, but knowing Cash,
he was always resourceful and his charismatic charms had always
worked on people.
From
then on, we became more than friends—so close, that he knew
everything about me. He knew about my past—the accidents, my
mother and all the nightmares I used to have but couldn‘t
really recall. I never knew anyone who cared so much as he had.