Castle to Castle (47 page)

I ask Marion politely what we've come down here to the Kleindienst for. "We're going to see the train . . . aren't we, Restif?" and they tell me what it's all about! . . . the train that's going to take them to Hohenlychen for Bichelonne's funeral . . . the official delegation, six ministers, plus Restif, and two other delegates . . . who? . . . probably Marion and Gabold . . . but careful now! the train is tucked away in the middle of the forest on the other side of the Danube . . . nobody must know! or see it! it's hidden . . . buried under a heap of branches! invisible from the air! . . . an engine is coming from Berlin to pick them up . . . an "extra-special" train, two cars . . . they'd be notified when the engine came . . . any minute now! . . . Hohenlychen isn't exactly around the comer . . . 750 miles . . . the other end of Germany, from South to North East . . . I've told you about Gebhardt and his S.S. Hospital, 6000 beds . . . but how had Bichelonne died? . . . nobody knew . . . well, up there they'd find out! . . . find out? . . . really? . . . Marion didn't think so . . . the Bodies could tell them anything they pleased . . . I think it over . . . I've got my own ideas . . . it was Gebhardt who had operated . . . I didn't like Gebhardt . . . anyway, while they were waiting for their train . . . well, the engine . . . we'd go take a look at this "special train". . . only Restif knows where it is . . . under which branches . . . after the big bridge . . . perfectly camouflaged, so it seems . . . but Restif hasn't any faith in the camouflage or the branches . . . it'll be spotted in any case, he explains . . . because they've got nothing but coke to fire her with! . . . all their engines are running on coke! you can spot them with your eyes closed! you can see them coming all the way from Russia! enormous trails of cinders! . . . which explained the perpetual circus of planes over the tunnels . . . the entrances, the exits . . .
boom!
bull's eye! . . . sitting ducks! on the way out of the Eiffel Mountains there's a permanent merry-go-round, at least thirty of them! . . . the trains come and ask for it, practically . . . perfect targets! practically on purpose . . . we found out later . . . Restif knew . . . he knew a hell of a lot . . . but it was no time to ask him questions . . . to ask him why and how . . . he was guiding us, that's all . . . Lili, Marion, myself, and Bébert . . . we were going to see this special train . . . that was supposedly hidden . . . Long detours . . . here we are finally at the big five-span, three-track bridge . . . we cross . . . we dive into the forest . . . there, I've got to admit, where he was taking us, those zigzagging paths . . . we'd have got lost . . . it was so dark . . . they seemed to have felled the biggest pine trees . . . it was a kind of vault overhead . . . and down below an impossible tangle . . . cut branches, intertwined . . .we follow the roadbed . . . the rails too . . . but all these trees across the tracks! . . . felled Christmas trees! . . . we come to an even bigger pile of branches . . . with a crowd of people around it . . . Restif knew . . . that was the place . . . the train was underneath . . . the buried train . . . total camouflage! . . . but this mob! . . . they'd found the secret train all right! people from the
Löwen
, from the town, soldiers and civilians, an army! and chewing the fat! in every language! . . . worse than the Kleindienst! . . . soldiers in camouflage and without camouflage . . . French and Boche refugees . . . everything! . . . even my dying patients from the
Fidelis
, who were supposed to be in bed . . . were there, having the time of their lives! . . . families of
Ost
workers . . . deported from the Ukraine . . . with ten, twelve kids! . . . all playing in the branches . . . jumping and squealing, and swinging all over the place . . . The mystery train! . . . and the
shuppos!
and the S.A. . . . and Admiral Corpechot in person! . . . all commenting with authority! they knew everything! all there was to know about this train . . . Hitler's "special"? . . . no! . . . for Pétain? . . . for Admiral Corpechot? . . . for Stalin? . . . to bring de Gaulle from London? . . . they climb in to look . . . they turn everything upside down! chairs, cushions, easy chairs! real luxury! . . . parents and kids and cops . . . I knew they hid in the woods at night, but I'd never have thought this many . . . They beat it to the forest for fear of being burned in their hovels . . . hit by bombs! . . . but such a mob! scared that it would be our turn soon! a bonfire like Ulm! why not? it had been announced often enough! . . . even some of the sick and dying from the showcases! . . . and the pianists from the buffet . . .

They kept climbing in and out of the cars . . . the two cars . . . everybody with a lighted candle! as if they wanted to start a fire! even the brats! clusters of brats! enough to set fire to the whole forest! they want to see everything! the kitchen car and the crapper! the mosaic crapper! they all had to go in and touch everything! a midnight forest party . . . a snakedance by torchlight! . . . they had to touch everything! "Is all this for Hitler? or for Leclerc? or for the Senegalese?" Plenty of laughs! . . . guffaws! explosions! it had been worth coming!

Restif knew better . . . this train was a special, very special train which William II had ordered, but it had never been used . . . specially ordered for the Shah of Persia . . . who had come on an official visit in August 1914 . . . it had never been delivered . . .

You can't conceive of the luxury! A mixture of all the elegance of Wilhelminian Germany, Persia, and Turkey! . . . brocades, tapestries, hangings, braided cord! . . . worse than Laval's apartment! . . . divans, sofas, embossed leather ottomans! and the carpets! the thickest they could find! . . . super-Bukhara! . . . super-India! . . . curtains that weighed a ton, to cut off drafts! . . . oh, they hadn't stinted! lamps and fixtures in the "Lalique Métro",° style, "Barisian" monuments that took up half the car . . . the Shah would certainly have been happy! . . . they couldn't have put any more in! . . . I remember, I said to Marion: "I don't know if you'll get there, but at least you'll be comfortable." Restif is the practical kind. Carpets and window curtains are all very well, but what about the kitchen? . . . he wants us to go see . . . in the other car . . . That kitchen was certainly well equipped . . . everything you need . . . stoves and kettles! . . . but where's the coal? . . . no coal! This kitchen won't work with coke!

"Don't worry, Monsieur Marion! . , . I'll get you two dozen chickens, I'll have them cooked at the
Löwen
. . . we'll take them
à la gelée.'"

That was the simplest way . . . and he'd get his chickens! . . . he wasn't boasting! Marion isn't worried . . . they never refuse Restif anything on the farms . . . and free, gratis! . . . they refuse us . . . they even refuse Pétain everything . . . even for the Raumnitzes they haven't got any . . . but for Restif they've got plenty . . . it's his charm . . .

Naturally the locomotive from Berlin never came . . . an accident, so it seems, between Erfurt and Eisenach . . . the whole roadbed blown to pieces . . . and in another place . . . around Cassel . . . the engine itself! that made for delay . . . the Delegation could wait! . . . the enthusiasm was gone . . . this didn't look so good! . . . after a lot of talk they finally
 
admitted that there wouldn't be any locomotive from Berlin . . . the two cars would be towed by a "wildcat" engine from right here in Siegmaringen . . . except it would go very slowly, it would be a long trip! . . . more whispering, discussions . . . who'd go . . . and who wouldn't . . . a ferocious debate between the Castle, Raumnitz, and Brinon . . . about who would be delegated to the funeral . . . antipathies! . . . who would be sick, down with the grippe, exempt? . . . rheumatism? . . . too sensitive to the cold? . . . in the end they found seven in relatively good health . . . and more or less persuaded them . . . ministers, active or "on ice" . . . I won't name them here . . . it might hurt them . . . yes, yes, even now, twenty years after! . . . partisan hatreds are a business proposition! . . . and never forget it! . . . people made careers for themselves in the Purge, burying collaborators . . . people who were pure shit got to be great big avengers . . . bigshots . . . with enormous privileges! . . . so naturally they'll go on "resisting" to their last breath! . . . until their last granddaughter is nicely married! the collaborators' worst bad luck was having been such a windfall for the rottenest horde of stinking good-for-nothings . . . just tell me, what would Vermersh,° Triolette, or Madeleine Jacob be good for faced with a milling machine? or a sheet of paper? or a broom? . . . hyenas! get back to your kennel! catastrophes like that! windfalls! not once in a century! a surprise orgy for the pin-brained hatchet girls! they're in no hurry to give up being the Most-High-and-Mighty Paladins of the supercolossal reverse-parade of 1939! . . . I'm not going to give them anything to work on! oh no! I'll wait until the Most-High-and-Mighty Seneschals of the supersensational whammy of 1939 are six feet under . . . I won't give them anything to work on! I'll wait until they're all out of commission . . . it won't be long! . . . a time comes . . . the age curve . . . when it goes very fast! I collect death notices . . . I know! . . . the "Great Assembly"! executioners and victims! . . . anyway, Marion was a member of this delegation to the funeral . . . I've told you . . . Marion and Restif . . . Horace Restif was supposed to represent the "Special Teams" . . . he'd be the "Quartermaster" too, in charge of the kitchen . . . and the chickens! he'd roasted the chickens at the
Löwen
as promised . . . but with all the shilly-shallying and waiting for the engine, they'd been eaten . . . yes, wing by wing . . . there wasn't anything left on the day set for departure . . . a bad start! . . . all they'd got from the Castle in the way of provisions was two little packages per minister! little packages of sandwiches! jealousy! and from the hotels? Balloon juice! . . . the trip was expected to take three days and three nights, from Siegmaringen up to Prussia . . . talking about clothing, I may as well tell you, they were wearing the same as when they'd left Vichy, light topcoats, suede shoes . . . not at all the right thing for below zero . . . in Siegmaringen in November it wasn't so bad, but going north they wouldn't be happy . . . they found out! . . . not happy at all! especially when it came to sleeping! when they'd finished their sandwiches, when there was nothing left, there was an awful lot of stamping and foot rubbing . . . the trip wasn't over and they were still going north . . . and the thermometer getting lower and lower . . . and it was beginning to snow . . . first a few flakes . . . then blizzards! . . . especially after Nuremberg! thick! like cotton! . . . you couldn't see a thing! . . . neither the tracks, nor the roadbed, nor the stations . . . the sky and the horizon were all cotton! . . . we went through Magdeburg without seeing a thing . . . our train was supposed to go up by easy stages, avoid Berlin, detour through the suburbs . . . our luck that there was never an air patrol . . . that one of the Marauders didn't take us! . . . we must have been sighted! not a doubt! the old locomotive that was pulling us sent out streams and trails! flaming cinders! . . . especially on the upgrades . . . they couldn't miss us . . . we must have been visible from the moon! . . . there were reasons why they didn't see anything! must have been! . . . the explanations come later, when nobody's interested . . . when they don't mean anything . . . anyway, in that air-cooled car, not a windowpane, full of winds! and what winds! nobody could sleep . . . too cold and too shaken up! . . . especially after the Castle! instant bronchitis! . . . they were all coughing! . . . even with heat nobody could have slept, the springs must have been shot . . . "peach-pit suspension" . . . coming and going, stamping to get warm, the ministers were all bumping into each other! Jolts! . . . hell, earthquakes! you wouldn't catch them going to any more funerals! after two days and two nights, they were all in! and this was only one way! . . . the real fun was the return trip! but the northward run gave you the idea . . . Restif was ingenious, practical . . . he took his knife to the draperies! . . .
krr! zip!
and there were plenty of them! rivers of silk, velvet and cotton . . . hanging, cascading all over the place . . . really a super de luxe car! and all the ministers started in!
krrr! zip!
like Restif! . . . floral designs, carpets, braid! . . . anything to get warm! . . . they disemboweled the car! . . . a battle! everybody made himself an overcoat . . . the real thing! . . . super-overcoats! thick, four layers! kind of cavalry coats! . . . but really good ones! . . . I know what I'm talking about . . . ours in the 14th were horrible imitation! . . . the slightest rain and they soaked up all the water, they crushed you under their weight! the coats the ministers made themselves, cut with a knife, four thicknesses, plus the Bukhara carpets, and gathered at the waist, may have looked silly, but never mind . . . they were all right! especially for sleeping in the little stations around Berlin . . . we were stalled for hours . . . here . . . and there . . . with the locomotive puffing . . . nobody came around to see how we were getting along . . . nobody offered us anything . . . not a
Stam
. . . not a sausage . . . maybe they didn't have any themselves? . . . you never know with the Booties! . . . we'd have had time to ask . . . but talk some more? . . . it was getting really cold now . . . full in the north wind . . . it was cold in Siegmaringen, but nothing like this! . . . and it was only the beginning of November . . . We started off again, bumping and jolting . . . it was getting really mean . . . the snowflakes . . . like cotton, so help me, you couldn't see the plain or the sky . . . the train was moving very slowly . . . so slowly maybe it wasn't on the rails any more . . . must have skidded . . . skidded off the rails? . . . ah, at last, a station! . . . same thing, nobody comes out to see us . . . we were floating forward as if in a mirage . . . all we knew was we were going north . . . further and further north! . . . Marion had his compass . . . Hohenlychen was northeast . . . Marion had a map, too . . . after Berlin it was more to the east . . . we weren't going to complain . . . the engineer didn't talk to us . . . we tried . . . he must have had orders, too . . . okay! . . . he could keep his orders . . . with us it was
krrr! zip!
. . . another seat cover! and another! all trying to see who could tear the most! . . . because it was getting colder and colder! a hole!
krrr!
at the top of the slipcover . . . that gave you a quadruple cape . . . and tearing warms you too . . . and
rip!
. . . and
rip
again! the window covers! . . . and plenty of them! ah, the Shah! Wimelminian ornamentals! . . . Turkish delights! Arabian bazaar! . . . another Bukhara! shit! we'll get even if they won't talk to us! "damn Boches! . . . thugs! . . . vampires! . . . starvers! . . . pricks!" that's what the funeral delegation were yelling, absolutely unanimous! if they won't tell us anything . . . well give them William I! II! III! and IV! in the snout! And where are they taking us anyway? to the North Pole? . . . to Russia? . . . not to Hohenlychen at all! bastards . . . perfectly capable . . . traitors to the bone . . . We rip up their whole car shouting "Boches! Saxons! pigs!" We tore everything off, we put it on! We really covered ourselves! ah, the stuffing! Let's have the stuffing! they're not giving us anything to eat, they're starving us on purpose! the bumping is on purpose too! At least we can smash their car! all their folderols!