Catalyst (16 page)

While I am still upset with Liam, I know I have to talk with Noah. He has to know that with Liam back, my heart belongs to him. Noah and I have a special type of relationship, but it can’t be the type he wants. I think he knows this, but it’s going to be heartbreaking to talk about.

It isn’t long before we’re in front of Noah’s room. “Thank you, Betty. You’re right, by the way. He’s my other half, and I do not intend to ever let him go.” I place my hand on hers and thank her before she knocks on the door. Liam opens it up, and I’m met with the two men I love most in life.

Noah’s beat to a pulp with purple and red bruises all over his face. His swollen eye matches his busted lip. There’s no doubt that he has more injuries under his hospital gown, and I know I’m the cause of them. If I had just said no to him back in the lingerie store, he would have been safe. My stomach is nauseated at the thought of it.

Liam’s watching me. He and Noah have been friends for a long time. I feel his eyes penetrating through me to my soul. I’m scared that he knows about my kiss with Noah. He probably does, seeing as he is watching my every move. I have so many regrets, but I can’t consider Noah a regret. If Liam weren't around, I could see myself with Noah. He wouldn’t be a replacement, but I would be able to love Noah in a different way.

He just holds no bar to Liam.

Neither of them says a word which doesn’t help with how uncomfortable I feel right now. Nurse Betty tells us she’ll be at the nurses’ station if we need her, and then she leaves us be, shutting the door as she goes.

“How are you feeling?” I ask Noah as I roll myself over to his bedside. Liam sits down beside me in a chair. I can’t help but notice how stiff Noah looks, probably from the pain.

“I’m feeling worse than I look if that tells you anything.” His smile is lopsided from the cut to his lip. “This guy saved me before real harm could be done.” He nods over at Liam, but Liam stays silent.

“Who? How did this happen? I mean, I know how it happened, shit—” Everything I say is wrong. I know how it happened, but I still can’t wrap my head around Maguire getting someone to torture Noah. If Liam hadn’t been there, I have no doubt that Noah would be dead.

“Some guy broke into my place. I woke up to his fist hitting my stomach. I was ready to throw in the towel when your boy broke down the doors and strolled in with backup. Made the guy tell Maguire on the phone that he was doing his job and would keep me alive.” The way he talks about Liam tells me everything I need to know.

Noah and I share a silent moment. He knows who I’ll pick. He’s grateful for his life and owes Liam, but it’s changed everything. I can see his raw pain, but there’s still love in there. I’m praying we’ll be able to make it out of this and still have some sort of friendship.

Liam breaks the silence. “We got to him as fast as we could. I swear if we had known earlier, we wouldn’t have let him get hurt.” I can see the remorse in Liam’s eyes as he looks back and forth between Noah and me.

I know this isn’t fair. Not to either of them. “Liam, can you give Noah and me a moment?” I ask, and Liam knows enough to let me have this time. I need everything to settle down so we can move forward. I watch the man I love walk away from me, and for a second, I’m scared that when he walks out the door, he’ll be gone. I would break in two if he left me again.

“Tinsley, you don’t have to.” Noah’s shaking his head at me. His skin is so multi-colored that it’s hard not to stare. I want to take away all his pain and swallow it inside me so he doesn’t have to hurt.

“I do. Fate is against us being together. Our terrible timing has to be a sign that we’re meant to be in each other’s lives forever but as friends. I know you want more, Noah, I do. You have to understand … I thought he was dead. He was my forever. I do love you … just not in the same way as I do him.” I hold onto his hand and squeeze it lightly, feeling as if I’m crushing his soul.

“The minute I saw him in that building, I knew. I knew I had a second chance at life but was going to lose you. I can’t compare to him, Tins, and I know that. I’m just glad you didn’t pick that psycho over me.” Laughing lightly, my mind wanders off, and I need to ask what they did with Maguire. That could wait for now.

“Liam is my one. I can’t lie and tell you otherwise. To have you in my life, though, means everything. These past few days feel like it’s pulled us apart, and it’s terrifying to think of you not being in my life. When Maguire had me captive, the worst thoughts ran through my head, and it hurt so fucking bad. There was no telling what Maguire would do to you.” I wipe the tears and wheel over closer to him. “I’m so glad you’re okay, Noah.”

I’m a hot mess. Tears are flowing freely and I keep sniffling as Noah takes my hand in his. I’m sure my hair is looking amazing right about now, but Noah and Liam don’t care. They’ve seen me at my worst.

“Has Liam told you about what he does?” Noah asks as he looks toward the door. I can’t help but feel guilty for everything that’s happened to him. If I had kept him at a friendly distance, I have a feeling Maguire wouldn’t have been so drastic in his actions.

“Enough for me to see him in a different light.” I halfway smile when Noah nods.

“Who knew?”

“We were all oblivious. Either that or he’s just
that
good.” I had no idea at all that Liam wasn’t quite who he said he was. “Will you be okay, Noah?”

“It’ll be shitty to watch you with him again, but I can already see your happiness returning. I’m not going to get in the way or fuckin’ kidnap you to get you into my bed if that’s what you mean.”

My mouth drops open at his words.

“Too soon?” He squints his left eye, and I lightly punch him in the shoulder where he’s not too bruised. “Guess so. But yeah, I’ll be fine. It will take some getting used to, but I’ll be good. No worries, Tins.” He gives me his best smile, which is still slightly off because of his injuries, and I can’t help but feel better about one aspect in my life.

“I have more questions for Liam. I’ll check in later?” Noah nods, and I wheel myself to the door. As soon as Liam sees me, he opens the door for me, taking control and wheeling my back to my room.

“He okay?” Liam asks as he helps me up in bed. The damn fluids they’re pumping me with make it more difficult to do anything. The gown that shows my ass every time I bend over isn’t helping much either. Thankfully, they’ve tended to my ankles and wrists, and they’re feeling better. Still wrapped in gauze and medicated but better than yesterday.

“I think he will be. We should probably keep it PG in front of him for a while. Hey, where’s Maguire now? You had enough to lock him up, right?” I’m itching to know that fucker is behind bars and away from the general public.

“He’ll be going away for a long time. Between attempting to murder a federal agent and kidnapping you, we have enough to make him spend a long time in prison.” Liam lies down next to me, and I have to ask about one of Maguire’s victims. Her name came to me while I was in Noah’s room and I’ve been itching to talk to Liam about it.

Once we’re both situated, I ask him, “Nora. Was that one of the victims you knew of?”

Liam thinks a moment before shaking his head. “No. I don’t think so? Why?” His brows draw together as he waits for my explanation.

“She had dated him after they got out of college, maybe even during senior year. Apparently, it was serious and she got pregnant, but it wasn’t Maguire’s. The baby belonged to his best friend. He told me about how Nora and his best friend were in a car accident and both died, including the unborn baby. Liam, Maguire’s name is written all over it. The betrayal, the jealousy, and revenge.” My voice is getting louder, and Liam’s now sitting up with his phone in his hands.

“What was her last name? Did he tell you?” He’s on the phone now, asking me questions in a no-nonsense voice.

“No. But maybe you can look at the timeframe and cross-reference her first name?” I’m hopeful but have no clue what skills they have. I have this gut feeling I’m right about Maguire being involved with Nora’s death.

I watch as Liam talks to someone else, giving them the specifics of what I just told him. Their conversation is to the point and strictly business. When he gets off the phone, he stares at me for a long while.

This drives me crazy. “So?!”

“They’re looking into records from that timeframe. It’ll take some time, but we’ll comb through everything and find out if he played a role in her death. Don’t get your hopes up too early, though, sweetheart. This kind of thing takes time.”

“I want him to suffer,” I admit.

“I know, baby. We gotta do this the right way, though. I’m going to go in and talk to him today. I’m curious what he has to say.” He lies back down and runs his hand through my hair.

It calms me. Always has.

“Can I be there?” I know his answer, but I have to try.

“You don’t want to.”

“I need to know why. Why me? Why did he have to hurt the girls he cared for? What was his grand plan for me?” Chills run down my spine as I voice the questions aloud.

“I’ll get as much as I can out of him. I won’t subject you to any more of his torturous obsession. You need to focus on the present, not the past.”

“He kept telling me that. Only, you were my past and he was my present. He considered both you and Noah my past. Maguire saw himself as my solution to happiness. If I kept thinking of you, I wasn’t allowing myself to be happy,” I confess.

“I’m not surprised. How about you stay here until I’m done with Maguire, and then we go home and have a night to ourselves. No investigation, no serial killer. Just us,” he asks, and I didn’t even realize I was okay to go home.

“That sounds amazing. But wait, home?” I knew he wasn’t referring to the home we used to share, but I hadn’t thought about where Liam was living now. His job made him a ghost, essentially. If he were living close to me, it’d be a risk for me to see him.

“It’s twelve miles from your new apartment. It’s temporary, but I can’t wait to have you in my arms and in my home again.” His eyes expose the love he still has for me. It never left, even after the turbulent months of being apart.

I love this man so much that I can feel it through every fiber of my body. I want to scream at the top of my lungs how much I love him, but it wouldn’t be enough.

Instead, I whisper those three words into his ear and wrap my arms around him tightly. He ripped my heart to pieces but also sewed each shard back together again.

“Is that a yes? I should be no more than three hours. Nurse Betty knows where a change of clothes is and will help with anything you need.” He gets up and leans over me. “I love you so much, Tinsley. You have no idea how excited I am to have you in my arms again. Watching you from afar just doesn’t do it.”

He has a grin on his face, and I can’t help but feel like a honeymooner who can’t wait to get back to the hotel room to make love to the man who will be mine, forever and always.

I watch him leave, his ass fitting just perfectly so in his dress pants. Nurse Betty walks in and undoubtedly catches me ogling.

“Sorry, I’m not used to him being back yet,” I admit as she looks over the machines and begins turning them off.

“Oh honey, we’ve all been watching that ass. You’re the only one who gets to get a squeeze, though. The rest of us are watching and dreaming.” She smiles at me as she takes my IV out.

“The rest of us?”

“The nurses. It’s not too often you seen a man that handsome in here. He’s Grade A.” Now we’re both chuckling as she talks about Liam like a piece of meat. She walks over to a closet and comes back with a pair of yoga pants, underwear, and a sweatshirt. “A cold front came in last night. You’ll want to wear these for goin’ home.”

She’s careful around my sore limbs as she helps me dress, making sure not to rub against my sores. After I’m dressed and ready to go, she lets me know that I can stay in bed or offers to walk me up to the window of the nursery.

“It feels like you’re trying to give me baby fever, Miss Betty.” I smile as she walks with me to the elevator.

“Now that you have your man back, what’s stoppin’ ya? I was just nineteen back when I got married. Had three youngins before I was twenty-five.”

“Things were different back then. Not that I don’t want kids, I do. I just got Liam back, though. Can’t a girl be selfish for a little bit?” The nursery was just a few feet away. Pale pastels fill the walls. Collages of newborns are directly across from the nurses’ station. I could see us being here in a few years. Just not quite yet.

In all honesty, I wanted to lock Liam up with me for a week and never let him out of my arms. I was in serious deprivation of him and needed to get my fix.

When we stopped at the windows, though, my heart started beating for a different love.

A love for a family, for a mini Liam to rock in my arms at night. No doubt did I want that looking at all of the newborns swaddled in hospital blankets. Some were asleep, some crying, while others peered around, trying to process their surroundings.

I rub my belly, wondering how it’d feel to carry life. Before Liam went away, I figured I had all the time in the world for that. With the scare of him being gone, it’s made me realize how time is precious and we can’t take a moment for granted.

“They’re a game changer, but in the best possible way. You’ll know when the time’s right, sweetie. I think I’ll leave you two alone now. Make sure to keep those wounds clean, Miss Tinsley.” Nurse Betty gives me a huge hug that grandmas are so good at giving and tells me she’ll be right back with a wheelchair so we can leave. I turn back to the newborns.

“Watcha lookin’ at?” He strolls over to me and settles behind me. He’s warm and smells like home. Resting his chin on my shoulder, he looks over at me and I know he can read me like a book.

“Our future.”

“Funny. That’s exactly what I was thinking too. But before we get serious about it, we should probably practice. A lot.” Liam’s smile broadens, and I can’t help but let out a hearty laugh.

“You’re cheesy. Take me home.” I wiggle out of his embrace and settle into the unnecessary but required wheelchair. I’m dying to know about his conversation with Maguire but leave it alone. He’s ruined enough of my time. I want to enjoy the day without negativity or dark clouds.