“I hope these fit. They’re a little snug for me, so they should fit you.”
“They’ll be fine. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. And, Julie?”
“Yes, Mother.”
“I’m glad you’re here, and when you’re ready to tell me why, I want you to know that I’ll listen without judging you.”
She didn’t have the energy to argue with her mother. Her parents had assumed the worst. They probably thought she was in some kind of trouble, although, unlike her sister, she had never given them an ounce of worry when she was growing up. She just smiled and kissed her mother good night.
Thankful that she had put her phone charger in her purse, she plugged in her phone before she sent a text to Noah, Keith, and Mark—just enough for them to know she was okay and she’d contact them tomorrow. She sent Kelly a text, too. She really wasn’t up to talking to her or answering her questions. She had lied enough to her for one day.
The next morning, Julie woke up early and decided she would cook her parents breakfast. She found the coffee and rummaged through their refrigerator and cupboards until she find the makings for pancakes, eggs, and bacon. She knew her father had always loved a big breakfast.
The aroma of bacon filled the kitchen. It wasn’t long before the two of them were strolling into the kitchen. They were both still in their robes. She noticed that her father had his arm around her mother’s shoulders.
“I’m having bacon,” her father said.
“But no more than two pieces,” her mother warned, “and only one egg.”
“Sorry. I should have asked first,” Julie said, feeling the sting of her mother’s reprimand.
“Nonsense,” her father said, coming to put his arm around her. “It’s good having you here, and it’s been too long since I woke to the smell of bacon.”
“I never make it since he’s got high cholesterol, but how would you know that? I only buy it because I like to make my own bacon bits for salads. But since this is a special occasion,” her mother said quickly, giving Julie only a minor look of disapproval, “we’ll let it go just this once.”
Julie knew she deserved her mother’s reminder that she hadn’t been around much. She watched as they sat at the kitchen table she had already set for the three of them. She poured them all coffee.
“This is very nice of you, Julie,” her mother said. “I didn’t mean to sound ungrateful.”
“I really should have asked first. Tomorrow, I’ll make you one of the healthy breakfasts that our clients love. Just what the doctor ordered for a low-cholesterol diet.”
“I’m not sure I’ll like it half as much,” her father joked. “I’m a bacon and eggs man.”
“Well, I’m all for Julie’s idea. Speaking of your clients,” her mother continued, changing the subject, “how’s that going?”
“It great. We’ve taken on a lot of new clients and big events. We’re doing better than we ever thought we would at this point. I love it. Going in with Kelly was the best decision I could have made.”
“I’m glad to hear it,” her father said before he took a sip of his coffee. “Good coffee.”
Julie smiled. “It’s not decaf. I hope that’s okay.”
“Only at night do we have the decaf,” her father said, taking another sip.
“Oh, and Julie,” her mother said, coming over to where Julie was buttering the toast, “I left a message for your sister. She’s always up early. I expect we’ll see her tonight for dinner.”
“Really?”
“Don’t sound so skeptical. I know you two haven’t always been close, but your sister misses you, too.”
Julie didn’t have the energy to argue with her mother, so she just nodded her head. She hated the artificialness of the relationship she had with her family. She wouldn’t have come home at all except she really didn’t know where else to go. She needed time and distance away from Noah, Mark, and Keith if she were to figure out her next move.
Sadly, she thought, taking a sip of coffee, she only had one move if she were to keep Kelly’s half of the business safe as well as her reputation. It wasn’t fair that someone like Deanna could get exactly what she wanted at another’s expense. The pain of her loss was tearing her apart. How, she thought looking away from her mother, was she going to get through this?
Julie’s suitcase had finally shown up the following day. She had packed light, but nevertheless, it was nice to not be wearing her mother’s clothing that was at least two sizes too big.
The calls from Noah, Mark, and Keith had not stopped. She continued to send them text messages in response. However, after her last text message, Noah had sent her one that said, “I want to hear your voice. Call me. Please.”
That was yesterday, and she still hadn’t called him. She couldn’t tell him over the phone that she couldn’t, no, didn’t want to see him anymore. She had thought she would be able to put everything straight in her head if she were away from them, but so far she was still conflicted and not at all sure about how to approach them. And she knew that was because it was going to be the hardest thing she ever had to do in her life. She missed them so much, it hurt. She had only been away from them a few days. She couldn’t imagine how hard it was going to be living in the same city and not being able to be with them.
During the second week of her visit, she received a call from Kelly. James’s wife had delivered a healthy baby girl. He was over-the-top happy, and he was also going to need to take some time off when his wife came home with the baby. Julie told Kelly her father was much improved and she would be coming back the next day. Kelly was apologetic. Julie couldn’t bear to hear her say she was sorry one more time.
“Kelly, I was coming back in the next couple days anyway. I’m not needed here any longer. So, please, stop saying you’re sorry. You’re making me feel bad.”
“Okay. I won’t say I’m sorry again. Promise.”
“I’ll call you when I’m back at my apartment to let you know I made it safe and sound. We’ll sit down first thing in the morning and go over everything.”
“See you soon, Julie.”
“Yes. See you soon.”
When Julie told her parents, they seemed genuinely sorry that she was leaving. For the first time since she could remember, she had felt sad that she was leaving her parents. She began to question was she had always assumed was their lack of love or caring. Was it possible that she, in her own way, had misread the situation?
When she was packing, her mother came into her room and sat on the bed watching her.
“I had a nice visit, Mother.”
“We did, too. Makes me wish we had made more of an effort to come and see you. It was wrong of us. I guess we didn’t know how you’d receive us.”
“I don’t understand. I would have loved to have had you visit.”
“You never invited us.”
“I guess I thought that went without saying.”
“Maybe in some families, but not ours. I know you knew that your father and I had issues when you and your sister were teenagers and even before that. I didn’t handle his infidelity very well, using you girls as weapon at times, but I do want you to know that we came to understand and forgive each other in the last few years. It’s good between us now.”
“I noticed a difference. I’m happy for you.”
“Sometimes it’s too easy to just let things go and not do anything about them. I don’t know why you and Chad divorced, but I’m glad you didn’t just settle for a life with someone you didn’t love. I want you to be happy, Julie.”
“Is that what you did?”
“I’m from a different generation. I did love your father once and we’re comfortable with each other now. We probably should have divorced, but we didn’t, and now we’re making the best of it.”
“I don’t want to just make the best of it,” Julie said sadly. “I thought I was in love with Chad, but I don’t think we ever really loved each other.”
“You deserve love, Julie.”
“Do you think love has to be the conventional kind? I mean, does it always have to be between one man and one woman?” Julie looked at her mother’s shocked face, wishing she could take her question back. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you that.”
“Well, if you can’t ask your mother a question like that, who can you ask?” Her mother took her hand and held it. “Your father and I see the world from much different eyes than we did in our younger days. I’d like to think we’ve learned a great deal about ourselves and the world we live in. We both support gay rights and a woman’s right to choose.”
“You have changed,” Julie said with a smile. “But I’m not gay.”
“Well, if you were, that would be okay with us, dear.”
Feeling suddenly more comfortable with her mother than she had ever felt before, Julie sat down on the bed next to her. “It’s just that I never thought a person could love more than one person at a time, but I think I’m in love with three men.” Julie watched her mother’s face to see if her expression had turned to disgust or worse.
“Believe it or not, I’ve heard of such things. I wonder if the world were more like that, if people wouldn’t be happier? You have to live it the best way you can. If you love three men, then I would love them, too. And so would your father once he wrapped his head around it,” she said, squeezing Julie’s hand. “We might have to work on him a little, but I think he’d come around just fine.”
“Well, I don’t think you have to worry about that. I’m breaking up with them. It’s a complicated situation and it can’t be worked out.”
“I’m sorry. Is that why you came here? You needed time to think?”
“Yes,” Julie said with tears in her eyes. This was a difficult conversation but wonderful all at the same time. She was actually talking to her mother about the three men that meant so much to her, and her mother wasn’t looking at her like she was freak.
“I know you said it was complicated, but if you love them, don’t give up on them so easily.”
Julie didn’t want to burden her mother with the details. It wasn’t something her mother could fix. No one could fix it. It was up to her to be strong for Kelly’s sake and the sake of the business. Her own feelings were secondary.
“It’s over, Mother. But if that’s what brought me home to you and Father, then I can’t say it’s all been bad. I mean, I feel closer to you than I’ve felt in I can’t remember when.”
Her mother started to cry. Julie took her in her arms and hugged her. “I love you, Mother.”
“And I love you,” she said, hugging Julie back.
Before she left for the airport, her sister stopped by and insisted that she was going to drive her. It was an awkward drive. She tried to make small talk until her sister blurted out, “You should have never stayed away for so long. It was mean.”
“Mean?” Julie said, totally taken aback.
“Yes, mean. Mother and Father thought you hated them. I know you and I haven’t been close, but to make them suffer like that. It was unforgivable.”
“You’re kidding. When did anyone ever ask me to come home?”
“You shouldn’t have to be asked, Julie. You were always selfish.”
“This is crazy. I didn’t think my family cared whether they saw me or not. And for you to call me selfish is way out of line. When’s the last time you ever called me?”
“I had a family and kids. Not that you cared. You were the one who left.”
“I don’t want to fight with you, Laurie. Especially after the great visit I’ve had with Mom and Dad and I thought with you, too.”
Laurie turned onto the ramp for departures. She pulled into a small parking lot with a five-minute parking sign.
“Are you jealous, is that it?” Julie asked angrily. “Mad that Mother and Father and I have finally gotten to a good place?
“Don’t act stupid,” Laurie said, turning the key to shut down the car’s engine. “I’m happy for them, and believe it or not I’m happy for you. For years I’ve seen their faces when holidays passed and there was no phone call from you.”
“I always sent a card. I never forgot a birthday, anniversary, or anything. And you stopped sending me cards or even a picture of the kids. Whose fault was that?”
Laurie looked down at her hands holding the steering wheel tightly. “I should have made more of an effort. I’ll admit that. But that’s between me and you. It’s Mother and Father I’m talking about it.”
Julie felt deflated. Everything had spun so out of control and time had just made it easier to blame them for the breakdown in communication. She supposed she had treated them like she had Chad, with indifference. She hadn’t tried to mend the fences that had separated them, and for that she was sorry.
“I’m sorry if I hurt them or you. I never meant to. I was hurt, too. I want things to change.”
“Me, too,” Laurie said softly, her eyes filling with unshed tears.
“Can we start over, Laurie?”
“You’re my sister and no matter what you think, I love you and always will. We’ve all made mistakes. Starting over is what I want, too.”
“Oh, Laurie,” Julie cried, releasing her seat belt. She moved closer to her sister and put her arms around her. “Then that’s exactly what we’re going to do. And I promise you, your children aren’t going to see me as a stranger anymore. I want to be part of this family.”
When she arrived back in San Francisco, she called Kelly and they agreed to meet the next morning as planned. James was going to be at the meeting, too. Her next phone call was to Noah. He answered on the first ring.