Catia (Starkis Family #6) (22 page)

“I know he’s your friend, but that doesn’t make him mine,” I said, trying to ignore the sting of betrayal. I’d known Dustin all my life. I’d considered him family long before my sister married him, yet he was taking Chase’s side over mine. Couldn’t he see how much it hurt me to know the man I’d loved and trusted wasn’t worthy of either?

“You know he’s a good man, hon.” Dustin stepped up beside me, slipping his hands into the pockets of his dress pants as he looked at the beach. Though the weather had turned cold and snow threatened, we only had to draw on our memories to feel the warmth of our childhood summers. “Your baby deserves to have someone like Chase in his or her life.”

I wrapped my sweater coat around me, trying to ward off the ever-present chill I’d felt since I watched him walk out the door with his daughters. “I’m not so sure.”

“Fine. But what do you plan to tell your child about their daddy? Have you thought about that?”

“Only every minute of every day.”

He put his arm around me and drew me close. I gave in to the impulse to rest my head on his shoulder and seek the comfort he offered. I knew Dustin wasn’t the bad guy. He just wanted two people he cared about to make peace.

“And? What have you decided?”

“I haven’t decided.” I couldn’t tell my child his father hadn’t wanted him or that he’d claimed an unwanted pregnancy had ruined not only his life but the lives of the children he
had
wanted. No child deserved to grow up with that knowledge. “I’ll worry about it more after the holidays. This is Christmas Eve, and the whole family will be here soon: Deacon and Mia, Damon and Eleni, Tiana and Blake and all their sweet kids.”

“Your brother will be here with Chelsea too. Have you told him or your cousins you’re pregnant?”

I shook my head. “I was too shaken up to talk about it the day after Chase left, so I asked everyone to keep it under wraps just a little while longer. I’ll tell them soon. I just need a little more time to figure out how. You know how protective Darius has always been of me and Kara. He’ll go ballistic when he finds out.”

“He and Chase are close. To be honest, I’m surprised Chase hasn’t told him.”

“He probably doesn’t have the guts.”

Dustin chuckled. “If there’s one thing Chase has never lacked, it’s guts, sweetheart.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” I muttered. As far as I was concerned, he was a spineless coward who’d run away as soon as he faced a challenge he couldn’t handle.

He kissed my forehead. “I just want you to be happy. Remember that, okay?”

I looked up, trying to read his expression. “I know that.” When he avoided my eyes, I got the sinking feeling he’d have to remind me of that again very soon.

Chase

“You think it’s okay we brought Pina, Daddy?” Emily asked.

I looked at the little bundle of white fur snuggled between the girls. “Mrs. Starkis said it was, honey.”

“Will Cat be mad we came?” Elsie asked.

She would be mad
I
came, but I didn’t think she’d hold it against my kids. “I don’t know, sweetheart. I hope not.”

I’d been desperate when I called Catia’s mother to plead my case. She finally agreed that we needed to sort things out for the sake of the baby, so she invited us to share their holiday dinner, insisting Catia would be less likely to make a scene with an audience. I hoped she was right. The last thing I needed was the entire Starkis clan ready to take off my head.

“Do you think she’ll like the present we made her?” Emily asked.

My mother had helped them make a beautiful beaded Christmas ornament for the baby in a neutral mint green. I hoped Catia would understand that not only had I had a change of heart about her pregnancy, but they had too.

“I’m sure she’ll love it.”

“Does she hate us?” Emily asked.

I was shocked to see tears in her eyes when I looked in the rearview mirror. “Of course she doesn’t hate you, Em. How could you think that?”

“We were mean to her. We told you ‘bout da baby.”

I closed my eyes as we pulled up to a traffic light, and I inhaled deeply as I tried to corral my emotions. I’d been a mess all day, trying to shop for the perfect gifts to let Catia know I was not only looking forward to becoming a daddy again but, with any luck, her husband too.

But that wouldn’t happen until I’d gotten her father’s blessing. He would undoubtedly have a few words to say about the unconventional nature of our relationship, my previous divorce, and the fact I’d already let his little girl down, but I could take it. I knew when the day came that men wanted my daughters’ hands in marriage, I’d put them through the wringer too.

“Daddy?” Emily said, obviously waiting for my assurance that Catia wouldn’t shut them down when they delivered the apology they’d prepared.

“You don’t have to worry about Catia. She won’t hold anything that’s happened against you.” It was me she’d blame and rightly so.

As we pulled into the driveway, I noted all the familiar cars. The gang was all here, and I felt like a cow being led to slaughter. But I was there willingly, intent on making things right. If that meant I’d have to go through her overprotective family to do it, so be it.

“Make sure Pina has done her business before we go inside,” I reminded the girls. “And don’t forget her toys and food. We might have to keep her in one of the bedrooms while we’re eating. I don’t want her to cause any trouble.”

Emily and Elsie agreed as they fastened the leash around their puppy’s neck and hustled her out of the car. I waited until they’d finished with her before I guided them up to the door, saying a silent prayer Catia wouldn’t kick us all out before I could get a word in.

“Here we go,” I whispered, ringing the doorbell.

Elsie slipped her hand into mine, her blue eyes earnest as she looked at me. “It’ll be okay, Daddy.”

Squeezing her hand, I said, “I know it will, baby.”

Catia answered the door, her smile slipping when she saw us. She was wearing black skinny pants, leather boots, and a red turtleneck. If I hadn’t known better, I wouldn’t have guessed she was pregnant. “Oh, hi.”

I could tell she wanted to slam the door in my face, but for the sake of the kids, she refrained.

“Look at our new puppy, Cat,” Elsie said, her grin revealing her missing front tooth.

“Wow,” Catia said, bending to pet the tiny white dog. “I’m guessing by the pink leash and collar it’s a girl.”

“Yup,” Emily said proudly. “Isn’t she cute? Her name’s Pina.”

“She sure is cute.” She stood, looking at me. “Uh, I wasn’t expecting you.”

“Your mother invited us when I called. I hope it’s okay?”

She was obviously considering her response carefully before she stepped back to let us in. “Of course. It is Christmas after all. Come in.”

The girls gasped when they caught sight of the ten-foot Christmas tree in the family room.

“Wow, your tree is huge!” Emily exclaimed.

Mrs. Starkis rounded the corner, beaming. “There you are! I was wondering when you’d get here.”

“Thank you for having us.” I handed her a huge bouquet of red and white roses tied with white organza and a red satin bow.

“My pleasure. Thank you for the flowers. They’re lovely. I’ll take the girls into the other room and get them a snack to tide them over ‘til dinner.”

“Thanks.” I watched her lead the girls and the excited puppy into the other room before I forced myself to look Catia in the eye. “You look beautiful.”

“What are you doing here?” she said through clenched teeth. “How could you ambush me like this, tonight of all nights? You had to know I wouldn’t want you here.”

“Can we talk for a few minutes? Please?” I wasn’t above begging, not now that I finally had some one-on-one time with her.

“I guess I don’t have a choice, do I?” Her heels clicked across the tile floor as she led me to her father’s study.

Memories of my last night here and all the ugly things I said to her came flooding back, and I wished this conversation could have taken place somewhere else, anywhere else.

She closed the door before facing me, arms crossed. “Well? Say what you have to say so I can get back to my family.”

“I’m sorry.” I let my apology hang in the air for a few seconds. “I was way out of line the last time I came here. I was in shock. I mean, a pregnancy was the last thing I expected.” I dared to step closer as I whispered, “But the best thing that could have happened.”

She sucked in a sharp breath as she stepped breath. “Don’t do that. I can’t think straight when you’re standing so close to me.”

I took that as a good sign. It meant I still affected her the same way she affected me. There suddenly wasn’t enough oxygen in the room. My future with Catia and the baby I desperately wanted to raise with her was hanging in the balance, and my next words to her could be my last if they weren’t the right ones.

“I’ve thought about you and the baby almost every minute since I left here.”

She licked those ruby red lips I’d kissed a hundred times and was dying to kiss again. For the rest of our lives if she’d have me.

“Fine, you’re here now.” She crossed her arms, and I knew she felt the need to defend herself. Not that I could blame her. Last time she’d been unprepared for my attack; this time she was on guard, expecting the worst. “Let’s hear it.”

“Catia, we may not have planned this, but we’re going to have a baby. I don’t have to tell you there’s nothing I value more than being a father.”

She narrowed her eyes as hostility seeped from her every word. “You value being a father to Karen’s kids. Not mine.”

My throat tightened, making it difficult to breathe. “I hate that you think that, and I hate myself for giving you reason to believe that.”

“You said I ruined your life by getting pregnant. Not only your life, but your children’s lives.” A tear rolled down her cheek, and she brushed it away, obviously angry with herself for being unable to contain her hurt. “I never meant to do that. If I’d had a choice…” Her breath was shaky as she shook her head. “I can’t say I would have done a single thing differently. I may not have intended to get pregnant, but I can’t pretend to be sorry it happened.”

“I’m not sorry it happened either.” I was dying to put my arms around her, to offer her some measure of comfort, but I knew that might cause her to bail on me. “I want this baby. I want you.”

She closed her eyes as she lowered her head. “I can’t…”

“You can’t what?” Desperation and fear seeped in to replace my apprehension. “Believe that I still love you? Believe that I want this baby as much as you do?”

“I can’t trust you again.”

I felt the force of her words like a mallet upside the head. “You can’t trust me?” I would have died before I’d betray her or cheat on her. When I made a commitment to her, it would be for life. Though given my last experience with marriage, I understood her reservations.

“I can’t trust you to let the past go. The last time we talked, you reminded me, not for the first time, that you couldn’t trust me. You said I’d lied to and manipulated you.”

I curled my hands around her upper arms, desperate to make my point. “Catia—”

“Please don’t touch me,” she whispered. There was no malice in her voice, only quiet resignation, and that hurt even more because it meant she’d given up the fight.

Trying to respect her wishes, I let my hands fall to my sides. “I didn’t expect to come here, apologize, and make everything right, but I have something I hope will make my point better than I ever could.”

“What are you talking about?”

I reached into my pocket and extracted the gift I’d selected for her. I had others in my car, for both her and the baby, but this was the one that mattered most. My hands trembled as I handed her the small box wrapped in silver paper with a turquoise bow. “Here.”

She shook her head as she tried to hand it back. “I can’t take a gift from you. I’m sorry.”

“I had it made,” I said with a weak smile. “So it’s not like I can return it. Please. Just open it. If you don’t want it…” I couldn’t allow myself to believe this gift wouldn’t have some effect on her.

With a sigh, she pulled the satin ribbon before peeling back the paper. She gasped when she opened the box and saw the platinum band nestled in black velvet.

“Sapphire, emerald, ruby, diamond, and topaz,” I said. “A stone to represent each of our birth months, including the baby’s. It’s a family ring, because that’s what I want more than I’ve ever wanted anything, Cat. For us to be a family.”

She swallowed before looking at me, her eyes filling with tears. “It’s beautiful, but I’m just so confused. I need more time to figure things out.”

“I understand.” She wasn’t saying no or asking me to leave. As far as I was concerned, that was progress. “The girls and my mother made something for you too. I have it here.” I reached into my pocket and extracted the box that had created a bulge in my other pocket. I should have waited and let the girls give it to Catia, but I couldn’t wait to see her expression when she realized I wasn’t the only one who’d had a change of heart. “Will you open it?”

Before she could open the gift, a tentative knock sounded on the door.

Catia cleared her throat and set the open ring box on the desk behind her. “Come in,”

The doorknob turned slowly, and Elsie and Emily’s little faces appeared in the crack in the door.

“Can we come in?” Emily asked.

Catia offered them a wobbly smile as she waved them in. “Of course, come in.” She held up the unopened package. “Your dad just gave me the gift you and your nana made for me. I haven’t opened it yet, so your timing is perfect.”

“Can we say somethin’ afore you open it?” Elsie asked, twisting her hands in front of her.

They were wearing red velvet dresses they’d selected for the occasion, their wild curls fastened with sparkly barrettes while their Mary Janes shone beneath their matching tights. I may have been biased, but I thought they looked adorable.

Catia sat on a burgundy tufted leather sofa and set the box on the table in front of her so she could reach out a hand to each of the girls. “I want to hear what you have to say.”