Catia (Starkis Family #6) (24 page)

“Our relationship may not have been perfect,” Karen said, running her hands over the smooth leather armchair she sat in, “and I was a big part of the reason for that. But if I can tell you one thing about Chase with absolutely no reservations, it’s that he’s an amazing father.”

“I know. Anyone can see how much he loves your girls.”

“I know forgiveness doesn’t come easily, and he probably said things he shouldn’t have, things that hurt you. But if he can forgive me after the things I said and did to him and our kids, you should be able to forgive him.”

I didn’t appreciate a complete stranger telling me how to feel, but I knew her meddling was born of her concern for Chase. I had to respect that. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think it was possible for me and Chase to forgive each other. I’m not completely blameless. I left when I should have stayed. Maybe if I had stayed a year ago, he wouldn’t have had reason to doubt me now. We would be further along in our relationship and—”

She leaned forward and grasped my hand. “Can I give you a piece of advice?”

“Sure.”

“Let go of the past. It can only bring you down. You can’t do anything to change any of the things either of you has said or done. You have a baby coming who needs both of you in his or her life. They deserve a fresh start. They deserve to be welcomed into a world without bitterness and resentment. They’ll get enough of that out there”—she hooked a thumb over her shoulder—“in that big bad world. But try to shelter them from it for a while by giving them a safe place with people who love them and each other.”

I was so touched by her sentiment I stood, opening my arms to her. “Thank you. I knew that, but thank you for reminding me. And for caring.”

“Hey,” she said, grasping my hands, “the way I see it, you’re likely to be my kids’ stepmom soon. That means you and I should be friends, don’t you think?”

“I’d like that,” I said, smiling.

The door opened with a gust of wind and excited shrieks. The puppy bounded in ahead of the girls.

“Catia! Mommy!” they squealed, running toward me with arms wide.

“Hey, girls.” I bent to hug them as I caught sight of Chase’s smile. “Thank you for all the beautiful gifts. I loved them.”

“You’re welcome,” they said, kissing my cheeks.

“How ‘bout we go into the kitchen and help Nana get those pies out of the oven?” Karen suggested. “Give your daddy and Catia a chance to talk.”

Chase waited until we were alone before he took a tentative step into the room. “I thought I was seeing things when I saw your car parked outside.”

“Your mom invited me. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Why would I mind?” He took another step closer and stopped in front of me, just shy of touching me. “Wherever I am, that’s where I want you to be.”

“I meant what I said about the gifts. They were lovely.”

He glanced at my right hand, his smile spreading when he saw I was wearing the family ring he’d given me. “You do realize if our dates are off, we’ll have to replace that stone, right?”

I raised my hand to admire the glistening gemstones. “The doctor is predicting the twelfth, so I think we’ll be safe.”

He nodded as he reached for my hand. He kissed my knuckle encompassed by the ring. “I know I said this last night, but it bears repeating—I’m so sorry for the things I said to you. This baby is a blessing, one I’m more thankful for each and every day.”

He was echoing my sentiments, which only made me smile. “I’m glad you feel that way.”

“I want us to be a family. I don’t want to share custody or for you to feel you have to do this alone.”

I’d known he would want to have this conversation today, especially since it had probably been weighing heavily on his mind for weeks, but I had to be honest, even at the risk of hurting him. “I can’t marry you simply because I’m pregnant. That wouldn’t be fair to you, me, or the baby. I have to marry you for the right reasons, because I love and trust you. Because I couldn’t imagine my life without you.”

“And how do you feel?”

“I still love you. I couldn’t stop loving you even if I wanted to... which I don’t.”

He breathed a sigh of relief when I stepped into his arms. “And I love you more now than I ever have, Cat.”

Our kiss seemed to reinforce our softly spoken claims.

I pulled back. “But trust takes time to build, and I don’t think we’re there yet, do you?”

He touched his forehead to mine. “I want to believe you would never, ever leave me.”

“But can you?” I looked into his eyes, knowing he would never lie to me.

“I’ll get there, but I can’t deny a part of me wonders whether I’m enough. You could go anywhere, do anything you want. So why would you want to put down roots here, with a divorced dad who’s really just a glorified construction worker?”

I laughed at the image he held of himself and how different it was from the way I, and the rest of the world, saw him. “I don’t know many construction workers who earn a seven-figure paycheck, Chase.”

He brushed his calloused hand over my cheek, and it served as a reminder of who and what he was. “The paychecks may be bigger now, but that doesn’t change who I am. I grew up watching my parents live hand-to-mouth, struggling to give us a better start than they had. I’m not ashamed of where I came from. I’m proud of it. But my kids will never grow up with the advantages you had. No private planes or summers abroad. That’s just the way it is.”

“Just like you wouldn’t have traded your childhood for anything, I wouldn’t trade mine either. We had a lot of amazing opportunities, and I’m grateful for them, but it wasn’t the places we went or people we met that made us happy. It was having each other, feeling loved and protected and cherished. That’s the greatest gift our parents gave us—security.”

“And that’s all I want for my kids, for
our
kids.”

I smiled. It would be wonderful to share a child, or children, with this amazing man. “That’s all I want too.”

“I want something else,” he whispered against my lips. “I don’t just want to be the father of your children. I want to be your husband.”

“I want that too.”

“When?”

I laughed as I wound my arms around his neck. “Soon.”

“Before the baby’s born?” he asked hopefully.

I grinned as my heart swelled with love. “Definitely before the baby’s born.”

Chase

Even though I’d been through this twice before, it felt like the first time. I held Catia’s hand, reminding her to breathe as I told her how proud I was of her.

She’d surprised everyone when she announced that she was opting for a home birth with a midwife instead of going the traditional route in a well-equipped hospital. She wanted to deliver without pain meds, proving to me yet again how incredibly strong and determined she was. When she set her mind to something, she accomplished it, no matter how impossible it may have seemed.

I’d never thought anyone could convince me to believe in love again, yet she had. I’d never thought I could trust without reservation again, yet with her, I did. I knew, no matter what happened, she would always be right by my side.

I wiped her forehead with a damp cloth as she gave me a weak smile. “How’re you holding up, Mrs. Clement?”

She’d insisted on taking my name, claiming she would much rather be identified as
my
wife than the daughter, niece, or cousin of so-and-so.

“Hanging in there,” she said, gripping my hand when another contraction tore through her.

I was scared to death that something would go wrong, putting her or our baby in danger, but this wasn’t the time to let her see my fear. I had to be strong for her, for both of them.

The midwife, Carolyn, came back in after excusing herself to wash up in the restroom across the hall. She was in her mid-fifties, a retired obstetrics nurse, and after assuring us she had helped delivered thousands of babies, I’d swallowed my fear and told my wife I would support her decision to deliver our baby at home. Carolyn had created a cocoon-like environment in the bedroom, complete with soft music, incense, and drawn curtains, to help relax Catia.

“How are we doing?” she asked, smiling at Catia.

Catia bit her lip, her eyes wide and brimming with tears. “There’s a lot of pressure. I feel like I need to push.”

She’d been in labor for eight hours, a lot of that time spent flat on her back, chewing on ice chips and trying to rest between contractions. Both her family and mine had been advised that today was the
big day
, but Catia had asked them to wait until the baby was born before swarming our house. She claimed having her father and brother pacing in the hall while she screamed and swore through the pain would only make it more difficult.

Carolyn checked Catia and confirmed it was time. Now that the moment was here, my gut was churning, and I berated myself for agreeing to this.

“It’s okay,” Carolyn said, smiling at me. “Everything’s going to be fine. Catia just has to relax and let nature take its course. Women have been delivering babies this way for a long, long time.”

“I know.” I kissed Catia’s hand when she squeezed mine. But none of those women had held my heart in their hands… or my future. If anything happened to either of them, I didn’t think I would survive.

“Now, Catia,” Carolyn said, her voice soft and even, “with the next contraction, I want you to bear down and push for me, okay?”

Catia nodded, her eyes wide as sweat trickled down her cheek.

“Okay, sweetheart,” she said to Catia. “Here we go.”

I closed my eyes, saying a silent prayer as my wife began what I knew could be a long, drawn-out process, especially if something went wrong—like the umbilical cord getting wrapped around the baby or Catia hemorrhaging.

“You’re doing great,” Carolyn said soothingly. “One more big push. I can see the head. When I tell you to stop pushing, I need you to breathe through it, okay?”

She can see the head.
That was a good sign. It meant the baby wasn’t coming out feet first… thank God.

Catia grunted, pushing through the pain like a trouper. Her face was red from exertion, her hair a tangled mess, and sweat coated her face, but she had never looked more stunning. I wished I could release her hand just long enough to capture a shot of her, but I knew she didn’t want to let me go any more than I wanted to let her go. There would be time later for plenty of pictures of the first moments of our son or daughter’s life.

“There we go. Now just breathe, Cat,” Carolyn said. “One or two more pushes, and you’ll be able to say hello to the newest member of your family.” She grinned at me. “Do you want to take a peek, Chase?” My throat was suddenly dry, and the panic must have shown in my eyes because she laughed and said, “That’s okay, you don’t have to.”

I wanted to, but I didn’t trust myself not to pass out. As brave and strong as I was pretending to be for Catia’s benefit, the sight of what she was going through to bring our child into the world might have been too much for me to handle.
Yeah, I can be tough as nails with three-hundred-pound contractors, but seeing my wife in pain brings me to my knees.

“Okay, Cat. We’re all ready. Give us another push—controlled, not quite so big this time. I’m easing his shoulders out.”

His.
She said his. Of course she couldn’t know for sure yet, but my heart hammered at the possibility I might have a son. I would be thrilled the second I heard that cry, but having a son would be… amazing.

Catia followed her midwife’s instructions, digging her heels into the mattress as I used my free hand to dab her forehead with the damp cloth.

“You’re doing great, sweetheart,” I whispered as I kissed away the salty tear streaming down her cheek. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks,” she cried through a sob.

“There we go,” Carolyn said, beaming. “One more little push, and I get to introduce you to your son.”

Son?
“It’s a boy?” I asked, my voice weak as I sneaked a peak.

“It sure is.”

“Did you hear that, baby?” I rested my forehead on her shoulder. “It’s a boy. We have a son.”

She laughed through her tears. “I heard.”

After Carolyn guided Catia through the final steps, she invited me to cut the cord, something I’d done with each of my daughters. I gasped as I heard the sweetest sound reach all the way to the sixteen-foot ceiling—my son’s first cry.

“Oh my God,” I said, my eyes filling with tears as I stared at his tiny face.

He was perfect. His body was red and mottled, covered with a slippery film that Carolyn was quickly wiping away with a soft towel. His little face was scrunched up, his arms flailing as he let us all know he wasn’t too happy with the recent turn of events, but he was perfect and healthy and everything I’d ever wanted.

“Is he okay?” Catia asked anxiously.

“He’s perfect,” Carolyn said, swaddling the baby and handing him to me so she could tend to Catia. “You did great, little mama. You should be proud of yourself.”

“She’s right,” I whispered, sitting beside my wife so she could get a better look at the little miracle she’d just brought into the world. “You were amazing.”

She reached for him, gasping when he opened his eyes. They were blue, just like his big sisters’, but I knew that could change. “I want to hold him.”

I settled him in Catia’s arms carefully while Carolyn collected the remnants of the birth.

“I’ll leave you alone for a few minutes to get acquainted,” Carolyn said.

“Carolyn,” I said as she reached the door, “I can’t thank you enough.”

Looking over her shoulder, she smiled at mother and baby. “That right there is why I do what I do. Bringing a new life into the world never gets old. It’s a miracle every single time. Enjoy
your
little miracle.”

“I intend to,” I said, brushing my hand over his damp hair. “Believe me, I intend to.”

***

As soon as the good news spread, our house was filled with excited family members just as Catia had predicted. But the most excited of all were bouncing outside our bedroom door, begging to come in so they could meet their new baby brother.