Cedar Bluff's Most Eligible Bachelor (Cedar Bluff Hospital) (10 page)

“You know I would have been fine on the bus,” she said, when Simon followed her up to the front door of the apartment building. “But thanks for the ride.”

She was surprised when he followed her inside and up the elevator to the second floor. When they reached her apartment, he waited patiently as she dug out her keys and then held the door open for her.

She blocked the doorway. “Thanks, Simon, but I’ll be fine from here.”

“I’d like to stay, just for a few minutes, if you’d give me a chance to explain,” he said, finally breaking his prolonged silence.

Exhausted mentally and physically, she was half-tempted to tell him to take a hike. But obviously something was bothering him. She knew, both from personal experience and from Rachel, that Simon was the most even-tempered of the emergency physicians on staff at Cedar Bluff.

Reluctantly, she made her way over to the sofa, sinking gratefully onto the soft cushions. She lightly massaged her upper arms. Simon closed the door behind him, and then took a seat on the opposite end of the sofa, as far from her as possible.

“I’m sorry that I’ve been a jerk,” he said, staring down at his feet. “You already know how I was in a relationship that ended badly.”

“Yes.” Hadn’t they already covered this issue? She wasn’t in the mood to regurgitate the past yet again. “And I already explained that I don’t expect anything from you, Simon.”

“I knew you didn’t wait for me because you were mad. And I can’t blame you.”

She held up a hand to stop him. “I’m not mad. And there was no need for you to come and pick me up from the bus stop. I’m perfectly capable of taking the bus to and from work every day.”

“Hailey, give me a moment to explain, would you?” He sounded exasperated.

She rolled her eyes and waved a hand, indicating he should continue.

His resigned gaze met hers. “The relationship I was in before, the one that didn’t end well, involved a nurse. A nurse I worked with closely in the emergency department at Chicago’s Children First Hospital.”

She nodded in understanding. A nurse, a coworker, it explained a lot. She could see why he might be hesitant to go down that route again.

“The worst part of all was that when things ended badly between us,” Simon said slowly as if the words were torn from somewhere deep in his soul, “we didn’t just lose on a personal level, although that was bad enough. But, at least for me, I lost on a professional level as well. Because the horrible way things ended cost me my career.”

T
HE
moment the words left Simon’s mouth he inwardly swore and wished he could call them back. He’d only intended to make Hailey feel better about why he’d been such a jerk. He hadn’t planned on telling her all the gory details about his past relationship with Erica.

He hadn’t told
anyone
the full extent of what had transpired.

“What? Your career? How?” Hailey demanded, her beautiful blue eyes snapping fire with outrage on his behalf. The way she jumped to his defense almost made him want to smile. “Just because you broke some sort of no-fraternising policy? That’s ridiculous!”

He hesitated. How much should he tell her? Keeping his dark secret had been an ingrained habit for so long he wasn’t even sure where to begin. Or where to stop. He couldn’t tell her everything, just enough to help her to understand, to explain his behaviour.

“Not because of a policy,” he finally admitted. “I was being groomed for the medical director position, a job I coveted. But one disastrous night my personal life became center stage in the middle of the ED.”

“Oh, no,” she whispered in horror. And she didn’t know the half of it. The personal loss was hard enough, but to have everyone else know about it was far worse.

“The scene was pretty ugly and afterwards my career suffered irreversible damage,” he continued, determined to finish. “My boss pretty much came right out and told me I should look for another position at a different hospital if I wanted to move into a leadership role.” Even now, that painful discussion grated on him. As much as he’d understood where his boss had been coming from, he’d found it impossible to believe his four years of hard work hadn’t counted for more.

Erica had blown his dreams away in a fit of anger.

No, that wasn’t fair. The entire mess had been his fault and no one else’s.

Hailey’s brow puckered into a frown. “I’m surprised you allowed yourself to participate in a fight with your girlfriend in the middle of the unit,” she said frankly. “That’s not at all your style.”

Simon dropped his head and rubbed the back of his neck. He hadn’t participated in the fight, other than to try to get Erica out of there when she had started screaming at him so they could talk someplace private. But that had been when she’d turned on him like a wildcat, hitting and scratching, striking out in anger. He’d defended himself the best he could without hurting her, but in the end several nurses had been forced to step in, dragging Erica off him. Just thinking about the humiliation of that night made his gut knot painfully.

He’d handled it all wrong, he could see that so clearly now. Erica hadn’t been emotionally stable, and his breaking things off had only been one issue sending her over the edge. Getting his life back on track had been hard enough, but he hadn’t been given the chance to recover once Erica had resorted to other means to make him pay.

In some respects, he was still paying for his mistake.

Would he be forced to pay forever?

“Simon?” Hailey said his name, dragging his thoughts back to the present. “What happened?”

“I was caught off guard,” he admitted. “I wasn’t expecting her to start yelling at me in the middle of the unit, dragging our personal life into the public eye. But in the end it didn’t matter who started what. I took accountability for what happened because I didn’t handle things well enough with her from the very beginning.”

“I see,” Hailey murmured, although he could see dozens of questions reflected in her eyes that showed she really didn’t.

He didn’t want to go into details about Erica with Hailey. Mostly because he was too embarrassed at how far things had spiraled out of control. And the role he’d unwittingly played.

He could see now how his good intentions had only made things worse instead of better.

But the past was over and done with. He just wanted to move on. “I came to Cedar Bluff to start over. It’s a great hospital and a warm, welcoming community. And for once my timing was right on target because the medical director here, George Hanover is about ready to retire and I’ve made it clear I’m interested in replacing him.”

“I’m surprised Dr. Taylor, Dr. Reichert or Dr. Torres aren’t fighting you for the spot,” she pointed out, naming the other younger attending physicians on staff. Seth, Jadon and Quinn were his colleagues but he also considered them his friends. “They’ve been here longer than you and have more seniority.”

Talking about his career was much easier than talking about his personal failures. “They have more seniority here,” he agreed. “But being a medical director is more about management experience than just tenure and I have far more management experience than they do, thanks to my years at Children First in Chicago. I’m already the chairman of the ED quality review committee, which means I work closely with Theresa on cases where we could have done better either from a medical or nursing perspective.”

Hailey smiled warmly. “It’s no wonder you’re such a great doctor. I can tell you really care about your work, Simon.”

He shrugged, pleased with the compliment. Because she was right. His patients were important to him. Although somewhere along the line, his personal life had become important too.

“I do. Very much.” Which was why he was trying so hard to keep his distance from Hailey. To ignore his unwavering physical attraction to her. His expression turned serious. “I’m sorry Hailey, but I hope you can see where I’m coming from. I can’t afford to screw up this opportunity.”

Her smile faded and she dropped her gaze. “I understand, Simon. Although, I’ve already tried to explain that I’m not interested in having a romantic relationship with you.”

Her blunt statement stabbed deep. He ignored the pain, telling himself this was exactly what he wanted. So the kiss they’d shared didn’t mean as much to her as it had to him. Fine. Better for both of them. “Good. Then we’re in agreement. I hope we can remain friends.”

The expression in her gaze was difficult to read but she readily agreed. “Of course. Friends.”

There was a long, awkward silence. Time to change the subject to something neutral. He glanced around. “Ah, what time do you work tomorrow?” he asked.

She lifted a shoulder. “I can go in anytime, as long as I get the work done. Theresa made it clear I could only work four hours a day, regardless. Apparently they don’t want me to overdo things.”

“Sounds reasonable to me.”

She grimaced. “I’d rather work full-time, but after that mess today, I’m just grateful Theresa is willing to keep me on at all.”

He could relate. “I work day shift tomorrow, but I could come over right after work to pick you up,” he offered.

But she was already shaking her head. “No, thanks, I would rather take the bus in.”

He didn’t understand the flare of panic. Was this it then? Was she going to stop seeing him completely? He’d been banking on the fact that they’d continue to spend time together at least as friends.

Quickly, he considered his options. “Actually, that would work out great, Hailey. Why don’t you come in around eleven? You can use my office since I’ll be staffing in the department, caring for patients, and then I can drive you home after my shift is over.”

For a moment she looked like she might argue, but then she slowly nodded. “Sure, that might work. I’ll see how I feel in the morning.”

For a moment he wondered if she was just stringing him along, but then he pushed the idea aside. Surely Hailey wasn’t looking forward to riding the bus. While she was on crutches he wanted to help in any way possible.

His stomach rumbled and he realized they’d missed lunch. “Are you hungry? There’s a Chinese place nearby that delivers.”

She looked taken aback by his suggestion. “I was planning to relax and watch a movie tonight. Really, Simon, you don’t have to stick around to entertain me. I’ll be fine.”

“I need to eat too and I don’t have any plans for the evening,” he assured her, getting up from the sofa and pulling out his cell phone. “And luckily I have Chang Lee’s number in my cell phone directory. Chang Lee’s has the best Chinese food in town. Anything in particular you want to eat or should I get a variety?”

There was a pause and he waited, hoping she wouldn’t tell him to get lost. “A variety.”

He couldn’t help but grin. It was nice to have a woman who shared his taste in food. Erica had been the queen of eating salads. Except she hadn’t eaten them, she’d picked at them. Had driven him nuts. “Perfect.”

He gave their order to Mrs. Chang Lee herself, and then picked up the movies she had sitting on top of the DVD player. They were both romantic comedies, but as he’d invited himself over, he wasn’t about to complain. “Which one did you plan on watching?” he asked.

“
The Princess Bride
,” she said instantly. “It’s my favorite.”

He’d never watched it, but tried not to grimace at her selection. He was sure he wouldn’t like the chick flick, but staying there with Hailey for a few hours watching something he didn’t like was better than going home to sit in his empty house all alone.

His cell phone rang, and he glanced at the screen, wondering who was calling. He frowned when he saw
Unidentified number
on the display.

Every day for the past week he’d had hang-up messages on his answering-machine at home. Up to five a day. He figured the telemarketers would give up sooner or later.

But would telemarketers call on his cell phone? He pushed the button to send the caller to voice mail. The caller with the unidentified number could just leave a message.

A few minutes later his phone chirped again, announcing he had a voice mail message. Planning to listen to it later, he tucked his phone away.

He loaded the movie into the DVD player. Ten minutes into the movie, their food arrived. They ate while they watched, and he hated to admit that the movie wasn’t nearly as bad as he’d anticipated.

Sappy, sure. But enough action to make up for it.

There was only about six inches of space between them on the sofa as Hailey had stretched out in her search for comfort, her broken leg propped up on several pillows. Her eyelids drooped, as if she was exhausted.

He seriously considered pulling her into his arms, knowing she’d be far more comfortable, but instantly rejected the idea. He was the one who’d set the boundary of friendship. So he kept his gaze on the movie, subtly watching her out of the corner of his eye.

Very soon her head dipped down to the right, her chin practically resting on her chest.

Her breathing evened out and he realized with an amused grin that she’d fallen asleep. When she slid further toward him, he debated only a moment before drawing her close, so she could rest without suffering a crick in her neck.

She turned her face into the hollow of his shoulder. He held his breath, waiting. Was she awake? When she didn’t move for several long moments, he bent to lightly rest his cheek on the top of her head. Her scent filled his senses and he nearly groaned when his body tightened with need.

He ignored the urge to kiss her awake. Maybe, if the stars were aligned in his favor, she’d stay close to him like this for a while.

Pathetic, sure, but he was willing to take what little bit he could get.

When the movie was over, he didn’t want to disturb her so he used the remote to change the channel to a ball game. Luckily, there was a double header playing. He put the sound on mute and watched the action silently.

But he couldn’t have told anyone who won the game. Soon he closed his eyes, and held Hailey in his arms as she slept, secretly wishing things could be different.

Wishing he deserved a personal relationship—a future with someone like Hailey.

Hailey gradually became aware of her surroundings, realizing very quickly from the deep rumble beneath her ear that she was not alone.

Sucking in a quick breath, she froze and became instantly wide awake, blinking in the dimness of the room.

Simon was holding her in his arms. A soft snoring sound filled the air, confirming he’d fallen asleep. There was some old black and white sitcom flickering across the television screen and from what she could see out of her living-room window the night was pitch black.

She guessed the time to be well after midnight.

How on earth had this happened? The last thing she remembered was watching
The Princess Bride
. But not the end, she realized with a frown. Darn it, she’d missed her favorite part.

Holding herself still, she breathed in Simon’s musky scent, enjoying the feeling of being pressed up against him a little too much.

She should wake him up and send him on his way. Sleeping in Simon’s arms was not in keeping with their deal.

Friendship. All he wanted from her was friendship.

After hearing about what had happened in his previous relationship, and how his personal life had ruined his career, she really couldn’t blame him for not wanting to get personally involved.

There had been a tiny part of her that had wanted to protest, telling him she was not like his ex-girlfriend. She’d never start a fight with him in the middle of the emergency department.

After all, she worked there, too.

Since the flashbacks after her bike accident hadn’t returned, she’d hoped that she’d successfully put the past to rest. Although, if she was honest, she’d admit the familiar cloak of guilt remained.

She wasn’t the right woman for Simon. He could do far better. She knew he could easily find someone else. Someone worthy of his love. Possibly someone who didn’t work with him in the emergency department.

But maybe, just for a brief time, enjoying what they had would be heavenly. Because being with Simon like this, in his arms, however accidentally, made her feel alive.

Steeling her resolve to get up, putting an end to the ridiculous fantasies, she placed her hand on his chest and gently pushed herself upward.

Simon’s arm tightened around her, holding her in place. “Hailey,” he murmured.

Her breath lodged in her throat. Was he dreaming about her? The way she’d dreamed about him?