Celebrity 1 - Wrong Number, Right Guy (5 page)

Dar put his Coke on the countertop. “Turnabout is fair play,” he said cryptically.
“I guess,” Ryan hedged.
“Tell me what you genuinely think of me.”
“Uh.”
Dar smiled suddenly, his eyes twinkled. “The blush is a nice touch. Keep going.”
Geez, I
am
blushing
. It had been a long time since someone had made him blush.
Dar leisurely sipped his can of soda, his smile growing wider and more amused by the second. “Don’t leave anything out, stud.”
“I like you. I like talking to you and you make me laugh. You take me out of myself by reminding me that there’s more than the glitz of Hollywood in the world. Talking to you is like going back to what’s real, what’s solid, that I lost somewhere in the mix of fame.”
“You miss the daily grind?”
“I have that. I miss walking outside without a guard, or without cameras flashing in my face. I miss meeting people and knowing that what happens from there is purely based on how I get along with them, not on whether or not they think they need to suck up. Or whether or not I need a part in a movie.”
“It’s not the movies, but that still happens out here,” Dar reminded him.
“It’s the same, but it’s also not. There’s a lot of crap tied up with fame and wealth. There’s good, too. Before I started getting parts, I couldn’t pay my way through college and I certainly couldn’t take care of my mom. Now, I barely think it and my debts are gone. My mom’s debts are gone.”
“How does talking to me help you with all that?” Dar wondered.
Ryan thought for a minute. His gaze traced the angles of Dar’s face and skipped over the smattering of freckles. “You’re real.”
“What an odd thing to say.” Dar’s lips quirked into a bemused twist. “You don’t think you’re real?”
Ryan shook his head. “Not all the time. Mostly it feels like I’m looking at the world through a thin, white curtain.”
“Then I’d say that’s a choice you made. Choose differently.”
Ryan did laugh then. “God, you make it sound so simple.”
Dar shrugged, a quiet smile of his own playing about his lips. “It is.”
Ryan’s breath caught as he looked at that smile. Had that kiss been as amazing as he remembered, or had it been a fluke of having a secret Dar didn’t yet know? Was a coffee laced kiss the same as a Coke laced kiss?
“You never looked at the headshot did you?” Dar accused.
“Nope.”
“I didn’t think so. Those things you said on the phone about what I look like—you didn’t actually give me an opinion.”
“Saying what I think means I really have to trust you to keep our conversations between us,” Ryan wavered.
“I’m not telling anyone anything. I already know you like men. I knew it yesterday when you kissed me. There are just some things you can’t hide when they come up,” Dar said pointedly. He raised a brow as though he expected Ryan to object.
“I can’t be classified as bi in any stretch,” Ryan admitted. “You’re really attractive to me. I almost can’t classify everything I feel when I look at you, but it’s wrapped up in every conversation we have. It’s like I can’t imagine your face without remembering the phone calls.”
“That just means you aren’t shallow,” Dar teased. “That’s a good thing.”
“I’m new at this. I’ve had exactly one other relationship in my life and I can’t even tell anyone about it.”
“Okay, well, this is out of my comfort zone too, but—” Dar put his drink aside, then took Ryan’s and put it down, too.
Dar stepped up, his chest brushing Ryan’s and suddenly Ryan felt light-headed. He was pretty sure Dar was going to kiss him. When Dar rested his hand on Ryan’s chest, he was sure of it. God help him, all he could do was watch, notice every nuance of Dar’s face, the hold of his lips and jaw as they relaxed and Dar lifted his chin.
The hand slid to Ryan’s shoulder and Dar lightly pressed his parted lips to Ryan’s jaw.
“Just tell me if this is too much for you,” Dar murmured.
“Yeah. Right. I’ll do that.”
Dar’s quiet chuckle flipped Ryan’s insides and melted them into a warm, tingly pool. Ryan closed his eyes, lost to the sensation of Dar’s stroking mouth along his jaw, the hot subtle breath in his ear, the almost kisses lining the side of his neck.
Lips closed on the flesh beside his Adam’s apple, suckling and moist, but not strong enough that it would leave a mark.
“God, that feels incredible.” Ryan’s cock agreed, too, rising hard and thick.
Ryan swayed, then caught Dar’s hips in his hands to hold himself steady.
“When you kissed me yesterday, I was genuinely torn about what to think,” Dar shared.
“Why?”
“Because I wanted to meet Ryan Fenmore so badly, but the way you kissed me was so intoxicating that I felt guilty for enjoying it. Like I was cheating on Ryan Fenmore by wanting Ryan Pierce to keep kissing me and never stop.”
Ryan’s fingers spasmed in Dar’s belt loops. “Jesus.”
He pulled Dar’s hips until they pressed against his. Ryan groaned when he realized Dar was just as hard. Dar’s soft brown hair slipped under Ryan’s chin, as the kisses climbed the column of his neck.
Dar held his face away, until Ryan opened his eyes. When he did, he saw Dar’s playful smile. Ryan didn’t wait for him to resume, he swept down, taking Dar’s mouth with his own. Dar’s fingers sifted through the hair at Ryan’s nape, twisting it around his fist until the tiny hairs slightly stung. But Ryan wasn’t going anywhere. He was right where he wanted to be.
Dar kissed him back, pushing Ryan to open farther, allow him entrance. Then he took, teasing Ryan’s tongue with tiny flicks and touches. Lips moistened, their mouths slid together. Ryan couldn’t get enough of Dar’s pliant, hot mouth.
Ryan pushed him to the countertop, pinning him between the hard edge and his body, losing himself in the way their bodies molded to one another.
Dar tugged Ryan’s hair back, forcing the kiss to stop. “What am I to you?” Dar asked.
Ryan searched his eyes. “Right now, you’re everything.”
“And later, when your shoot is over?”
“I don’t know,” Ryan confessed. Confusion lit his brain between the clouds of sensual distraction. “Do we have to qualify it?”
Their quickened breaths filled the space between words. Dar looked just as dazed as he, and struggling to make sense of a serious conversation when it didn’t feel like one was welcome at the moment.
“Dar, I want you more than anyone I’ve ever wanted.” He ducked his head to the side to drag his lips against Dar’s neck, to taste him and see if his skin was as sweet as his lips. Ryan wasn’t disappointed.
“Is that a line?” Dar breathed.
Ryan straightened, ran the tip of his thumb beneath Dar’s bottom lip. “No,” he said softly. “It’s not a line. The person I believe you to be, the person I have every right to think you are, is someone I really want to be with.”
“Who wants to be with me? Ryan Pierce or Ryan Fenmore?”
Ryan stepped back, feeling stunned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Dar gripped the countertop behind him. He watched Ryan back up through heavily lidded eyes. “Which man wants to be with me now, and which man wants to stay with me?”
“I’m the same person.” Was Dar only with him to carve a notch in his belt? A hey-I-slept-with-a-celebrity notch?
“So am I. Who you believe me to be is exactly who I am.”
“Who you are is who I want to be with. I don’t understand what the problem is,” Ryan confessed.
“You made it sound like I could be pretending to be someone else. I’m not. What you see is what you get.”
“Dar,” Ryan murmured, coming back to him. “
You’re
who I want.”
“Who are you giving me then? Fenmore or Pierce?”
Ryan didn’t understand the defensiveness in Dar’s voice. His words stung as though Dar expected Ryan to change between the two names.
“Ryan Pierce is in town for a movie shoot. He can have me because he’s got me wrapped around his finger right now. He can fuck me and use me and when the shoot is over, he can leave me behind like I’m nothing.”
Dar pushed off the counter. He caught Ryan’s face between his hands. Dar’s eyes pleaded with him and his voice softened.
“Ryan Fenmore is this guy I called by accident one day. We’ve been talking on the phone a lot, and I really like him. I like him so much that I look forward to his call and I dream about his voice after he hangs up. Ryan Fenmore can have me because I have this crush on him which is fast turning into something a lot more important.”
Dar kissed him, as soft as his words fell.
“Ryan Fenmore can make love to me and touch my soul. When he leaves town, I’m not going to be able to say this thing is over. I don’t want Ryan Fenmore to leave me behind like I’m nothing. I couldn’t handle that.”
Stepping back to the counter again, Dar looked at him through hooded, watchful eyes. “Who is it that wants me? Fenmore or Pierce?”
“Damn it, Dar,
I
want you. Me.”
“If you’re going to leave town, and leave me behind with it, just tell me. I need to know what I can expect from you.”
“I can’t make promises. You know that. Essentially, we’ve just met. All I can give you is right now.”
Dar nodded slowly. “Right. Okay. Guess that means I’m more invested.”
“I have commitments and a public persona. That’s part of the package.”
Ryan could see this conversation slipping away. Dar’s gaze seemed less bright, more guarded. He didn’t want that. He wanted to see that fire of passion in Dar’s eyes again. When he looked at Ryan like that, Ryan thought anything was possible. Even a happily ever after.
“Pierce it is, then.”
Ryan winced. No matter how much he wanted Dar, he wasn’t going to be a celebrity fuck. “I think this was a bad idea.”
“If you want me, you can have me. I’d love to fuck Ryan Pierce.”
The words stung. Ryan swallowed hard. Dar was the one slinging hurtful words, so why did Dar look hurt? “That was harsh.”
“So is telling me that you want my cock for now, but later there are no guarantees, when I just told you I was falling for you,” Dar responded thickly.
“God, I’m doing this wrong. I knew I’d mess up. It’s just we barely know each other. No, that’s not true either.”
Ryan struggled to find the words he actually meant to say. Even if it meant being vulnerable.
“I’ve told you things I’ve never told anyone. When we talk, I know you’re actually listening to what I say and when you answer, you aren’t telling me things you think I want to hear. You’re honest with me. I can’t tell you how important that is in my life,” Ryan began.
“But?”
Ryan sighed. “But, I don’t know what the future holds.”
“Do you feel anything for me? At least tell me that.”
“I feel a lot of things for you. I feel like I’ve known you forever, and it’s still not enough time. I feel like I’m stronger when you’re within reach. I feel like I’m a better person, more than a shadow with a famous name.”
“Who determines your future, if not you?” Dar asked quietly.
“It’s not that simple.”
“Yeah, it still is, Ryan. Are you living your life, or is someone else living it for you?”
“Sometimes I’m not sure.”
“Well, finally some honesty,” Dar remarked. “As long as you don’t know who is pulling your strings, you won’t know what to do with me, or if I fit in that life, will you?”
Dar moved toward him, placed a kiss on Ryan’s cheek, then turned and dropped the cabin key on the kitchenette bar. “When you figure it out, I’ll be here.”
Ryan watched him walk away. He should have called out for Dar to stay, keep talking, but he didn’t feel he had the right. Dar was right. He might want Dar in his life, but if he couldn’t figure out how they fit together in it, it wasn’t fair to string him along.
His body cried out for missing the chance to be with him. His chest ached for some other reason, but it throbbed bruisingly with deep emptiness.

The phone rang. Dar’s heart skipped a beat, then rushed with adrenaline. Ryan had left four messages in the last three days. The movie shoot was coming to an end, and soon he’d be leaving town.

He’d wanted to pick up the other calls, but he also wanted Ryan to really think about what it was he wanted. If he did that, made a conscious choice about his future instead of letting others run it for him, then maybe they stood a chance.

I really want a chance with Ryan
.
This time, Dar picked up on the second ring. “Hello?” “Dar. I left my number. Why didn’t you call me?” Ryan

grumbled on the other end.
“You know why.”
“I want you,” Ryan said.

Even if Ryan didn’t know exactly what he wanted, hearing the words still filled Dar with excitement. “You want me if it’s easy.”
“Come home with me,” Ryan insisted. “You’ll see. We can make it work.”
“Who will you say I am, Ryan? Your bodyguard? What happens the first time we go out together, assuming we’ll go out together?”
“It’s none of their business.”
“I agree, but you keep telling me that the media makes it their business. Will you deny me?” Dar pressed.
“I miss you. Will you at least meet me for lunch?”
Dar let the question hang for a minute. He wanted to see Ryan, too. Ryan might be the man of his dreams, the one that got away, but it didn’t have to end angrily. “Where?”
“At my place. We can have a picnic outside. Talk.”
“Just talk?”
“Whatever you want. I just want to see you,” Ryan urged.
“Okay. Lunch tomorrow. We’ll talk.”
“Thank you.”

He did. He looked refreshed, if a little mellow. Ryan couldn’t say the same. He’d hardly slept a wink and it was showing on the set. Then to the other extreme, once Dar took his call again and agreed to lunch, Ryan hadn’t been able to sleep because he’d been planning the menu—and their conversation.

Ryan sat across from him. He’d planned the meal carefully, choosing simple ingredients he knew he could prepare. Chicken salad and store bought crescent rolls, courtesy of his assistant, were hard to mess up.

Dar picked up his fork and poked the salad. He speared a cube of chicken and ate it. After he’d swallowed, he looked at Ryan. “What does that mean?”

“I still have commitments. I’m still a public persona. Those things don’t change no matter who’s pulling the strings. But I want to try.”

“Long distance? Phone calls and occasional visits? Booty calls?” Dar threw out a bunch of options. “Pick one, because it’s not clear to me what you
want
.”

“All of that. Or, you could move in with me.”
“I have a life here.”
“And I have a life
there
. Dar, you asked me what my intentions