Certainty (2 page)

My cell phone buzzed, startling me out of my daydreams. I was nearly at school already, to my surprise.

Hi--
it was from Katie, probably already at her locker by now.

 
I answered her.
Hi

Where are you?

 
On my way

Okay

Inside the front entrance of the school the tall windows towered like cathedral glass. The crowded halls were noisy; lockers slammed shut and people talked loudly so everyone else would notice them. I checked the time on my cell phone. I wasn’t late, just cutting it a little close.

"MacKenzie!' Katie jumped out at me, bouncing on her feet.

"Hey, yourself. What's up?"

Katie always looks like she's questioning everything, her face rounded to her small pointed chin and her eyebrows in a naturally high arch. Her hair is a reddish brown except when the sun hits it, and then it lights up to a brilliant fiery red.

 
“I almost broke my cell phone,” she announced, waving it at me.

"Almost?"

"Yeah. I dropped it when I got off the bus and some kid stepped on it. My mom already said she wouldn't buy me another one. She says I need to learn responsibility. Like it would be my fault if some noob stepped on it."

"Well, your cell phone survived," I noted. "Lucky for you."

“Spared," she said with a sigh.

"Someone moved into that house down the street,” I said, changing the subject.

"What house?"

"The Victorian one that was sold."

"Who's moving in?"

'I don't know. But I'd like it to be a new guy. You know, mysterious, available and all that."

She smirked, her nose wrinkling. "I doubt it. That is an old lady house. An old lady that yells at you to stay off her lawn, even though you aren’t even on it."

I rolled my eyes. “Most likely. See you at lunch!”

“Dibs if he's hot.”

'Riiiiight,” I said, laughing.

I went up the second floor stairs to Homeroom and then suddenly remembered I forgot to do my Biology lab. Homework always seemed to be some sort of panic thing. I had plenty of classes before Biology so I could probably finish it in time, though. No worries.

I made it to homeroom and slid in behind Kyle, who was slouched in his chair. My heart lurched. He’s biologically designed to make any girl’s heart do that, so there is no defense. He’s not just good-looking, he’s beautiful. From his slightly messed up, perfect hair to his easy smile I can never help staring at him when he talks to me.

I started thinking we could be more than friends, but then there were days when he ignored me. He’d sit silently behind me, his eyes down on desk, sketching words on paper. After a while I realized I wasn’t the only one he ignored; he didn’t talk to anyone else either. And then a few days later he would be fine, like nothing had happened. Even though I didn’t understand it, when he was social again I always responded. I couldn’t resist. He was Kyle.

"Hey." He poked me in the back of the head with his finger. “I heard your brother was outstanding Friday night.
 
He’s turning out to be a great running back for the JV team.”

I turned around to give him my full attention. "Thanks. I’ll pass along the compliment. By the way, nice haircut," I said, examining the wheat-colored strands falling in his eyes. I wasn’t sure if he’d cut it, because he likes to keep it longish; he usually only trims off a millimeter.

`"Thanks," he said, his smile crooked and pleased.

“Yeah,” I continued, squinting my eyes at his hair, “It was hard to tell at first, but I think you cut this one…” I reached for a strand of his hair and his gaze rolled up to my fingers, a wry smile twisting his lips.

“That’s the one.”

"All right class, let's settle down!" Mr. Parker said, pushing his thin, silver glasses up on his nose. He leaned back in his chair as the announcements came over the intercom.

I pulled my biology lab out of my backpack so I could work on it. I ignored the announcements, especially the chirpy notice about buying tickets for the Homecoming Dance. No one had asked me yet and my prospects weren’t looking so good.

Kyle whispered, "You forgot to do your lab? Slacker."

 
I put my finger on his lips, giving him a condescending look. "Shhh.”

He clicked his teeth at me and  I snatched my finger back. He grinned, leaning forward like he was giving away the secrets of the universe, "Number three is 18 grams."

I shook my head at him and dove back into the lab. Number three was supposed to be an explanation of the experiment so he wasn't helping at all. The worksheet was crinkled and folded like it I’d pulled out of the bottom of my bookbag…which I had. I finished scribbling it out as the bell rang and everyone got up to leave.

"See you later!" Kyle said and winked at me before he swaggered off.

The hallways were crowded as usual but I found myself watching all the faces to see if there was anyone new, which made everyone seem new. That pale girl with the ponytail, had she been here before? Could she be my new neighbor? Or maybe it was that little freshman dude who dropped his books...there were too many who suddenly looked like strangers because I was actually seeing them now instead of passing by.

I made it to Spanish class a little early-- not even Sr. Ruddy was there yet. The classroom walls were covered in Spanish phrases--some kind of attempt at subconscious osmosis. I sometimes stared at them when I was bored, so maybe his evil plan was working.

I pulled my books out of my book bag and doodled in my notebook. A familiar ball of anxiety roiled in my stomach as I listened to all the voices coming in, waiting for one in particular. Noah was charming, fun to be around and he absolutely despised me.

I wish I could say the same, but I had a terrible crush on him when he first moved in last year. He was so confident and smart. His olive toned skin made his green eyes even more vivid, and I was mesmerized by him along with everyone else.

We ended up with the same friends at lunch, and I thought it was going to be the greatest year ever, until he started pointing out every stupid thing I said or every time I made a mistake. Far from ever attracting his attention in a romantic way, I hoped he would forget I existed.

All my friends adored him and the only way I could get away from Noah was if I gave up my friends, and I couldn't do that.

"Hey, Maddy." So he was here. I saw him from the corner of my eye but I didn’t look up. We never said hi in class or the halls or anything.

"Hey, Noah.” From my semi-discreet glance I could see Maddy’s gold hair was straight and silky today, pulled back from her flawless skin and emphasizing her light blue eyes. Her lashes were thick and black, and her lips were glossed like pink candy. She propped her long, tan legs under his desk, her miniskirt sliding up her thighs. Every guy in the room pretended not to check her out.

The bell rang and Sr. Ruddy walked in the room, greeting us in Spanish. He picked up his book from the desk and opened it, looking out over his glasses.
 
He is a big man who looks more like a cowboy than a teacher, with craggy features. We all like him so he hardly ever has to correct us—we want him to like us.
 
“Everyone is so quiet today.”

“We can change that,” Maddy offered, and all the guys laughed like it was comic genius.

“Nope. I like it,” Sr. Ruddy said. “It means we’re going to make progress. Homework.”

I opened my notebook to the page where I had written the assignment last week while watching TV. My pen ran out in the middle of my answers so I had to wait for a commercial to go get a pen and finish. I probably should have concentrated more.

Ruddy called my name to answer the last question. I studiously avoided Noah as I answered. As soon as I’d said it I knew it was wrong by the pitying look Sr. Ruddy gave me over his glasses.

"Very close, MacKenzie. Can anyone tell me what mistake she made?"

Noah answered, "She used her brain?"

I felt my face go red.

Sr. Ruddy sighed, “Noah.”

“Sorry, Sr. Ruddy,” Noah said meekly, then grinned.

Before Sr. Ruddy could solve the mystery of why I was wrong, someone knocked at the door. We all watched Sr. Ruddy walk over to the door and open it, his reading glasses and his book dangling from his hand.

A tall Asian boy stood in the doorway, holding a rumpled piece of paper. His dark eyes were turned up, looking at the room number. He had jet black hair and wore a dark blue button-down shirt. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and one hand was tucked into his jeans pocket. I could feel waves of interest from the girls and the threatened jealousy from the boys, maybe even Noah

"Yes?" Sr. Ruddy asked.

"I'm Ren Tanaka, a new student. Is this Spanish II?”

I leaned forward to get a better look, along with half the class. His black hair hung down in spikes in his dark eyes, and he stared calmly at Sr. Ruddy as if it didn't matter if he had the wrong class or not. I’d never seen eyes so dark and unreadable.

"Yes, you've got the right place. Come join us...there is a seat in the back next to MacKenzie." Sr. Ruddy gestured to my desk.

Ren walked over to my aisle and met my eyes.

He held my gaze, looking down at me with a strange expression on his face, a mixture of curiosity and surprise. His eyes wandered from the top of my head, flicked down to my feet for a split second, and then back to my eyes. My cheeks grew warm, and I wondered if he did that to every girl he met. I hoped not. My heart beat harder and then he broke his gaze and moved behind me to sit down.

Sr. Ruddy went to a cabinet. He pulled out a Spanish book and passed it to our row, asking the new boy, “So where are you from?

“California.”

Sr. Ruddy eyes lit up, as if he had lived there before.
 
“Well, I’m sure you miss the weather already. You’re just about to hit winter.”

“I can handle it.”
 
Ren answered.

“Ah, the confidence of youth,” Sr. Ruddy said, and opened his book. “Let’s jump right in then.”

The book Sr. Ruddy passed back to us made its way down our row and I handed it Ren. He stared at me again, his dark eyes piercing through my paper-thin defenses. I turned away, flustered by the intensity of his gaze. Was I that interesting? Was it in a good way?

"We're starting on the eighth section, page 83." Sr. Ruddy said.

I didn’t turn the page. A thought was churning around in my already addled brain. What if Ren was my new neighbor? He was staring at the back of my head right now. I touched my hair self-consciously, running my fingers through it. My pinky caught on a snag and I combed it out. That was dumb. No more hair combing.

"We're having a unit test on Friday," Sr. Ruddy was saying. "Ren, I'll talk to you after class about that. The rest of you, let's have a small verbal class quiz on the subjective past tense of
llamar
.”

I managed to get through the subjective whatever without having to give an answer.
 
Noah sailed through the quiz and when Sr. Ruddy asked him in Spanish what his address was he announced solemnly that he lived in a burrito. I heard Ren laugh quietly. His laugh was low, a warm tone that went right through me.

What if he fell under Noah's spell like everyone else? I sighed. That was probably going to happen. Why should Ren be any different than the rest of us?

At the end of class I turned around--the most courageous act in my life. "Hi, I'm MacKenzie."

"I know. I remembered your name. I'm Ren." His gaze was not so intense now, faded into guarded friendliness.

“Did you just move here?" I asked, casually.

He gave a short nod. "Yeah. My Dad’s job transferred him--us."

"What part of California are you from?" As if I knew the difference between the 'parts'.

"Huntington Beach."

"Oh. That sounds nice."

He smiled for the first time, and my heart jumped. I didn't know if it was a gee-I'm-glad-you-like-Huntington smile or you-probably-have-no-idea-where-that-is smile. I couldn’t guess even the first thing about him.

The class was almost empty so I gathered up my books. "Well, good luck… and I hope you like it here."

“I will,” he said, rising from his chair until I was looking up at him.

We stopped for a moment; I was leaning against my desk and he stood next to me, waiting. The wariness in his eyes lifted and the intensity I’d felt before returned. Shy again, I turned away and gave a quick smile to Sr. Ruddy before I walked out of the classroom.

Dazed by the possibility that I might be interesting to this Ren guy in a positive way, I bumped into Noah, my face pressed for one second against his favorite green t-shirt. He wore it at least once a week. I flushed and apologized but he looked down at me in irritation before moving out of the way. He didn’t have time for me, even when I was glued to his chest.