Challenge: A Contemporary MMA Romance: Oni Fighters Book 3 (22 page)

His hand started to stroke my back again…slow, firm strokes. I wondered if he even realized he was doing it.

“Yeah, is that right?” I’m sure I heard a level of skepticism there.

“Tori was the first one to crack. We were in a joint counselling session. It wasn’t the first. We’d both been to a few by then. Eden was still too bad to be anywhere but in bed. I can’t even really remember what the counsellor said. All I can remember was seeing the look on Tori’s face change and everything just came out like a burst water pipe. Then she kind of slumped over and this little look came over her face. Right there, I knew she felt so much better. Her letting go like that gave me the courage I needed to let some of it out at least.”

“I’m glad that happened. The Oni will eat you alive. If you let them.” He was using the Japanese term for demons. It was all part of our subculture at Onigashima.

“It’s a cool story. Onigashima. I thought it was crap when I first signed up, you know.” It was the first time I’d admitted it and, God, I doubt I’d ever admit it to Xander.

He chuckled a little. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

Now, I was a little curious. “Do you believe it?”

“What the folklore of Onigashima or what Xan has done with the play on it for the dojo?”

I shrugged, but still he kept rubbing my back. I really liked it.

“Both, I guess.”

He thought on it for a second. “Well, I like the story and, yeah, I guess it does make sense to me. We all have fears and hurts that are hard to let go of. Evils that plague us. Stuff our mind creates out of memories or feelings that have more power over us than they should have. Things that prevent us from being the real person we want to be or achieving something we should be able to.”

I knew without him saying it that this relationship was one of those big fears of his.

I moved up and kissed him softly, reverently, on the lips before pulling back. He looked a little surprised.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

He knew what I meant, I could see it in his eyes. “I’m trying and I know I have a way to go with this yet, before I feel really comfortable. I’m not saying it to be a dick. I’m saying it to be truthful. I’ve never let anyone in before. Be patient with me, Sophia.”

I knew that there was a lot behind his words. He hadn’t told me what had him battling demons about relationships but ten to one it was to do with his father’s suicide and his mother’s treatment of him as a child.

“We both have a long way to go, Seth.”

Right then, I felt the most connected to Seth I ever had. I also felt the most terrified. I only hoped tomorrow’s news wasn’t going to torpedo what we were building. My stomach felt hollow from worry.

“Let’s go to bed,” he suggested and moved a little to encourage me up.

I gave him a suspicious look. “What did you have in mind?”

“Absolutely nothing except an overwhelming desire to snuggle with you and you probably should have an early night anyway.”

I looked at him like he’d grown another head.

“Don’t say a word,” he warned.

“No, seriously, are you okay because the Seth I know would never suggest that we just go to bed and snuggle.”

We were on our feet and he laced his fingers through mine.

“Blame your brother-in-law, he suggested I should take the time to get to know you better without the sex. Personally, I think he just wanted me to suffer a little more.”

“Let’s go snuggle…we can always see how things progress.”

He let out a long exaggerated sigh. “Snuggle it is…but feel free to jump me if the need strikes.”

“You’ll be the first to know.”

For my trouble, I received a friendly little tap on my butt.

I glanced at the iridescent hands of my watch. It had just gone four am and finally Sophia was in a deep sleep. Something was worrying her. We’d spent enough nights together for me to know that today wasn’t normal. Sure, occasionally she could be moody, but that was women, wasn’t it? Normally, a hot, hard fuck or some other form of exercise quickly brought her out of her funk.

Problem was, I couldn’t give her that hot hard fuck at the moment. She was right, my pelvis was getting noticeably better, just not at that level yet. Nor could she really go and exercise hard until the doctor cleared her. That swim late yesterday afternoon was nothing more than active rest for someone like Sophia. We’d both been frustrated in our own ways.

I’d been so close last night—so close to spilling my guts and telling her all about it. I’d almost been convinced there was hope for me yet when she told me the story of her and Tori.

Maybe I needed to talk to someone as well. I was still carrying this shit around in my head and twenty years had passed.

Was it too late?

Normally, I could keep it all back. Since the accident—nope, it was close to the surface, taunting me.

His face, their faces.

Seeing Irena had made it worse. Bitch.

My hips were aching for some reason tonight and I’d been warring with myself over taking those painkillers—they’d probably help me sleep. But to take the pills, I’d need to get up and I wasn’t going to risk waking Soph. Nor did I want to be groggy if she needed me.

I could cop the pain.

A big part of me wished it hurt even more, then hopefully those damned Oni that were chewing at my guts would shut the fuck up and their faces would disappear.

Maybe.

I didn’t really know what would stop the hurt.

I just wished I knew what would shut them the fuck up permanently. Maybe then, I wouldn’t feel like I needed to keep running at a million miles an hour.

Sometimes running got exhausting.

I’m not sure what was worse, the need to run or not being able to run, like I felt at the moment.

Both sucked pretty badly.

“
C
ongratulations
, you’re pregnant, Sophia.” Dr. Jacobs’ words reverberated around my head. Surely not! There must be some mistake? That couldn’t be right. The tests must be wrong.

Eden’s hand closed around mine in support.

“I can’t be. We never had unprotected sex,” I protested. How could it happen? Well, I knew the answer to that, of course, but we’d always been so careful. Seth had never been inside me without protection.

“No form of contraception is ever one hundred percent accurate,” Dr. Jacobs added. Like that was reassuring,
now!
Great. Awesome. I didn’t want to hear anymore.

I was a statistic.

A statistic with a baby in my belly.

“It’ll be fine, Soph.” Eden put her arm around me and pulled me into her.

Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant
.

The words kept going through my head. I didn’t feel pregnant, did I?

“I think we can safely say the faintness and the nausea you’ve been feeling are all to do with the pregnancy. I want you to start on some pre-natal vitamins immediately. I’ll write down the name of the one I want you to get. I’ll also give you a referral to an obstetrician. They’ll no doubt do the first scan and take things from there.”

“I can’t have a baby,” I blurted out, feeling totally overwhelmed by it all.

It was all moving too quickly.

Baby.

I couldn’t have a baby.

That wasn’t part of my plan.

I had a fight to win.

Babies were for people that were married and settled. My relationship with Seth was tumultuous, to say the least.

I saw the the moment of surprise on Dr. Jacobs’ face before she smoothly recovered. “Well, there are other options, of course. Although, we need to figure out how far along you are in order to work through just what those options are.”

“No. You can’t do that Sophia,” Eden protested with shock and horror on her face.

I tried to take a deep breath, but my chest seemed to be getting tighter and tighter. It was too much to take in. I couldn’t be somebody’s mother, could I?

“Take slow breaths, Sophia. In, out,” Dr. Jacobs instructed. “It’s just a bit of anxiety you’re feeling. Totally normal when you get unexpected news like this.”

Unexpected news!

She picked up the phone on her desk and placed a call. I didn’t really listen, I was too busy trying to breathe and process the crazy that I’d descended into.

“Okay, I’ve just called Dr. Collins’ office, he’s the OBGYN I’m recommending. You’re in luck. He’s had a cancellation for late this afternoon. He’ll do the scan then talk to you about the options.” Now, it was all definitely moving too quickly.

She jotted down the time and details before passing it all over to me. I couldn’t even seem to close my hand around the papers, so Eden came to my rescue and I caught them exchanging a look.

“I want you to pick up those vitamins today, Sophia, and I think you really need to back off from your training and strict diet. You need the additional nutrition. You can’t be fighting and growing a baby.”

The doctor and Eden were talking about more things, but I had no idea what they were saying. My brain was far too numb trying to process everything that had happened.

“Good luck, Sophia. I know you’ll make the right decision. Call me if you have any concerns but Dr. Collins is excellent. He’ll take great care of you and keep me abreast of your progress.”

We made it out the door and through reception. Yet another set of her words echoing in my head.

“You can’t be fighting and growing a baby.”

My hands were about to cradle the nonexistent baby bump, when I realized what I was doing and jerked them back. I got in Eden’s car and lifted my shirt and peered down at my flat smooth belly. If anything, it looked more cut than normal. How could that be?

What was I going to do? I felt so afraid and confused.

Was there really a little person in there?

I really didn’t believe it.

Then, I noticed Eden looking at me with concern etched all over her face.

“Hey, Soph, I meant it before. It’s going to be okay. Don’t freak out. We’ll get you through this, but please don’t make any hasty decisions.”

I knew what she was saying—don’t have an abortion. But what options did I really have?

“Eden, I don’t have a job, Seth is still busted up and our relationship is so new. Plus, I have this fight and I’m trying to get a new business off the ground. I don’t see how I can have a kid and give it what it needs.” Tears were flowing down my cheeks like rivers and my throat was closing up. Eden opened the glove box and passed me a box of tissues.

She drove us to a quiet park down by the river with some big shady trees.

“Come on, Soph, let’s go sit down by the river and talk about it.”

I didn’t want to talk about it. I wanted it to all go away.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t going to be the case. It was a bit like the gravity thing. Babies got in there so they had to come out, one way or another.

We sat quietly on the edge of the bank for a few minutes. My thoughts were so jumbled and I really couldn’t believe what was happening.

“My God, what’s Mum going to say?” The thought just struck me.

“Has she met Seth?”

“Nope. She thinks he’s this wild guy.” He kind of is or was. I didn’t know anymore.

“As much as I love Mum and Dad, this isn’t a decision for them, Soph. It’s one for you to make. Actually you and Seth. He has a right to know Soph. It’s his baby, too.” She said it gently so as to not upset me.

“I know you’re right but I just don’t want to have that conversation with him. He’s still struggling with the accident and, well, our relationship is so new and his relationship with his family is so tenuous. I just know it will flip him out. I’ll lose him, Eden, and that just guts me.” Tears started pouring down my face full force and I was swallowing quickly to ease the constriction of my throat.

Eden passed me a bottle of water from her bag and put her arm around me. I really appreciated her support today. She was there for me.

“Ever think that maybe you’re underestimating him?”

I looked at her sharply. “You think? This is Seth we’re talking about.”

“I know, however, sometimes things like this bring out the best in people. Regardless, you have to tell him sometime. Think how you would feel if the situation was reversed and it was him that was keeping something like this from you.”

Oh, God, there wasn’t an easy answer to any of this.

I felt the panic rising up and trying to choke me again. Problem was, it wasn’t an attack I could counter. This was all coming from the Oni inside me.

“What am I going to do, Eden?”

She was silent for a few moments, seemingly contemplating my predicament.

“I can’t answer that for you, honey. You have to make that decision for yourself but you need to think long and hard before you do anything drastic and you really need to talk to Seth. What are you most concerned about?”

“Everything!”

“Well, that narrows it down.” And we both giggled a little, albeit more to the direness of the situation than any level of humour. “Do you even want kids?”

“Well…yeah, I guess.” I was actually surprised how quickly that came out and without me even really thinking.

“It’s just that you’ve never talked about it. At least, not to me anyway.”

“ I guess it was just one of those things I figured would happen when I was married and settled. You know the ‘some day’ bucket.”

“Yeah, I know. When the fire happened, I figured kids would never be in my future. I never really expected to find a partner, let alone a guy like Xander. Now, I very much look forward to the day we have some.” She glanced at me. “I didn’t say that to make you feel worse or something, Soph. I was just trying to make a point that stuff changes in your life kind of when you least expect it.”

She was right, of course. Look at what had happened to Seth.

“Look, what I’m trying to say is I think you need to keep a bit of an open mind for a little while until you have a chance to think all this through and talk it over with Seth. You know you’re going to have to do that, don’t you?”

We both knew the answer to that question but Eden seemed hell bent on me verbalizing it. She wasn’t going to let it go until I actually answered her with words.

“Yeah, I know. It’s going to kill him and probably us, but he has to know. It just doesn’t seem to be real, you know.”

“I get you. It’s come as a real shock for you honey.”

“Ya think! It has. We were always so careful. I don’t know when it happened.” Far out, my luck sucked.

She nodded at me. “Can you remember when your last period was? The doctor is going to want to know.”

That had been playing in my head for the last twenty-four hours. “Best I can figure is before the accident. I remember having a period before then. I had some spotting while Seth was in ICU but I ignored it. It’s not like that is unusual for me. Shit, you know my cycle has always been all over the place and, with all the training, its just made everything even harder to figure out. I’m still not convinced there’s actually a little person in there. I mean, my belly is flatter than ever.”

“Blood tests don’t generally lie, and your belly is as tight as a drum. Poor kid isn’t strong enough to push through all that muscle yet.” I appreciated her attempt at humour, even if I didn’t feel like laughing.

She probably had a point though. I did spend an inordinate amount of time strengthening my abs in preparation for taking a punch or kick.

“Maybe they got the wrong person’s test results.” I thought hopefully.

“And maybe you’re pregnant and just don’t want to admit it.”

I looked at her sheepishly. “There is definitely that.”

Eden glanced at her watch. “We need to get going. You’ll know more after you see Dr. Collins.

An hour later, I had my answer.

“That’s your baby right there.” He pointed to the ultrasound screen.

There was nothing like seeing your baby’s heartbeat and little blob of a body to make things real.

VERY REAL.

There was absolutely no denying what I was seeing.

I was pregnant.

I was pregnant.

I was pregnant.

I was pregnant.

I was fucking terrified.

Terrified. Terrified. Terrified.

Eden’s hand tightened around mine and her face erupted in delight at the screen.

“That’s my niece or nephew,” she whispered to me.

Dr. Collins made a few more passes with the ultrasound probe and the whooshing sound kept up loud and clear.

“Your baby’s looking great, strong heartbeat and growing nicely.” That was something, I figured. Dr. Collins had instantly put me at ease. He was in his late forties and was confident but caring at the same time. Plus, he didn’t seem the least bit judgmental when I’d wanted to talk about what my options were. He’d just nodded and said he’d do the scan then we could talk with knowledge.

“So, based on what I’m seeing here and the measurements, plus what you’ve told me, I think you’re about ten weeks and five days along. Nearly at the end of your first trimester.”

“That far!” I exclaimed, shocked to say the least.

He nodded, “we do calculate from the first day of your last period, and as I said, based on what you’ve told me about your cycle and what measurements I have here, I’m pretty confident conception was approximately nine weeks ago, give or take a day or two either way.”

My mind whizzed back and everything came flooding me at once.

“The night of Seth’s accident.” Had to be. Not that it mattered. What had happened, happened. I was pregnant. There was no sort of being pregnant. You either were or you weren’t. You just couldn’t be sixty percent or even ninety-nine percent. It was a solid one hundred percent.

We hadn’t seen each other for a few days before that night. He’d been out of town on some mining thing. He’d text me constantly telling me how much he was looking forward to being with me at the party.

I saw the surprise on Eden’s face. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Nope.”

Dr. Collins glanced away from the screen at me. “Something I need to know?”

Eden gave me a pointed looked. That said a lot.

“The baby’s father, my boyfriend, was in a very serious car accident the night the baby was conceived, it seems. He was in a coma for the best part of a week, fractured his pelvis in multiple places and punctured his bladder.”

Dr. Collins winced. “That’s nasty. How’s he doing now?”

“He came home from hospital a few weeks back and he’s walking around unaided now, albeit carefully. Which is not easy with Seth. He’s the active type.”

“Well, if he’s doing all that then he’s doing great. Pelvic injuries are notoriously slow to heal in most cases.”

I nodded but Eden filled in the gaps for me. “Seth’s an athlete, doctor. He’s big on rehab. In fact, he’s an MMA fighter just like my sister here and my husband.”

Dr. Collins frowned. “What did you say your surname was again, Eden?”

“Eden Todd.” We both saw the recognition on the doctor’s face. “Yes, you’re correct. Xander Todd is my husband.”

“Great fighter. I caught his Vegas fight on pay TV. He really showed Light’s Out what it was about. When’s he fighting again?”

“He’s just started training for the World Title match. Actually, Sophia has been training with him, she’s got a scheduled fight in about a month.”

The doctor shook his head. “Not anymore you don’t. You can’t fight fifteen or sixteen weeks pregnant. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for my mums to get regular exercise during pregnancy but not like that.”

“But I’m not even showing,” I protested and immediately felt stupid doing so. It was just hard to give up the idea.

“What if you take a hit to the belly, that could cause you to miscarry. No, fighting is out as an exercise for you and certainly not the sort of fighting that I know you’ll be doing.” He said it gently but I knew he thought I was crazy to even consider it.

“It’s just that…”

“You’ve been training for it and it’s close. I know, I get it. I do marathons and I felt pretty much the same when I got a stress fracture in my ankle last year right before New York. I kept telling myself I could do it. Well, that was what my heart was saying, my head was telling me I was being an idiot. I went with my head after my wife threatened to nobble me if I didn’t give the idea up.”