Chances Aren't (27 page)

She pulls her knees up and coaxes me on with a smile and by gently stroking my hips with her fingers. As I drive deeper into her, I lean down and kiss her harder. I slip my tongue into her mouth and she moans louder.

Seconds later my climax is upon me and for some reason I softly say, "Oh Emily, I Love you."

Suddenly I stop moving completely.
Oh, fuck!
"Sorry, Sorry, I, uh—"

"I'm falling…" Smiling, she's gazing up at me wide-eyed. "…in love with you too."

I return an uneasy smile.

"Are you done?" she asks with a hint of disappointment in her eyes.

"Not really."

"Good." She shimmies her hips under me and I'm still hard, incredibly hard.

"Just give me a minute."

I pull away from her and dispose of the used condom, then replace it with another. I rush back to her and slip inside again. It feels amazing and she moans as her eyes roll back in her head. "Don't stop, you feel so good."

I start pumping again, closing my eyes tightly. "So do you."

I'm moving faster now and she's bucking her hips up and down. We're in this incredible rhythm, one that I can't remember we've ever been in before. We're gazing into each other's eyes and kissing and fucking and it goes on for something like ten minutes. Then finally she climaxes, crying out first and digging her fingernails into my ass. Focusing with everything I've got, I move faster still and seconds later I grunt, flopping down over her, panting and spent. We lay there in a heap for a long time with her kissing my neck and nibbling on my ear.

Taking a deep breath, I roll off of her and rub my head. "Oh, man... wow."

"I knew you would be good."

I smile and look at her. "Yeah, that was, uh, fun..."

Fuck, what have I done?
Young Ben is at work and he should be here, right. I've taken this from him— this first time with her. And it beat the shit out of our real first time. This is not good on so many levels. Not good at all.

I roll onto my back staring up to the ceiling as Emily lays her head on my chest and kisses me. I ask, "What time is it?"

"Almost one."

"Shit, I have class."

"Do you want me to wait for you here?" She gives me a sexy smile.

"What, um, no, it's like a three hour deal and—"

"I don't mind."

"Oh, and after that I have to work so..." I climb out of bed and pull on my underwear.

"That's right. Will you call me later?" She asks hopefully.

"Sure, but let's not talk about this whole, uh…" I wave my hand between us wearing a sour look.

"What?"

"Um, we should pretend that we didn't sleep together yet, just because it was too soon. Yeah, that's it, you know?" I struggle to pull on my shorts then pick her bra off the chair and toss it to her.

"What are you talking about?" She chuckles.

"I, uh, I have this crazy… religious thing so it might be better if we just stick with your original plan— your two week plan."

"Okay." Rising off the bed, she narrows her eyes as she slips on her bra. "You're silly, but okay."

"Yeah, that way we get another first time." Now I'm narrowing my eyes.
What the hell does that mean?
"I mean, not that this wasn't great, but—"

She pulls her shorts up her legs and sighs. "It was amazing."

"Yes, yes it was, but this way, if we don't talk about it, we can experience it again."

"Whatever you say, crazy..." She shakes her head and grins. After slipping on her shirt, she moves to me and kisses me. "Call me."

"I will." Smiling, I nod like a moron as she heads out of the room.

When I hear the door close, I fall backward onto the bed, pull the pillow from under my head, cover my face with it and attempt to smother myself.

After rushing across campus, I'm fifteen minutes late for class and give the professor an apologetic nod then spot Carrie, give her a smile and sit in a seat next to her.

During the lecture I find it nearly impossible to focus and on the break I hang out with Carrie, but I'm unable to put two sentences together. I do hold it together enough to confirm our plans to meet at eight later at the bar.

When I return to the room, neither Ben nor Alan are there so I turn on the television and mindlessly flip through the robust offering of twelve channels while barely paying attention. It's hot in the room, so I kick off my tennis shoes, pull off my shirt and flop on the bed. My first thoughts are that Ben won't find out that I had sex with Emily before he did. After realizing that is extremely unlikely, I tell myself he will most certainly find out, but he won't be too upset. I decide to go with that and fight to suppress any other thoughts based in actual reality. Flipping the channel once more, I discover that Moonlighting is on and Cybil Shepherd looks pretty good, and it’s one of my favorite episodes where they have sex in the backseat of the car, so my mind is, at least for the moment, sidetracked.

Suddenly the door busts open and young Ben steps into the room winded and glaring at me wearing his white shirt and black pant waiter outfit. "You asshole."

I guess he knows.

"What?" I rise to my feet. "Just take it easy, I, uh—"

"I'm going to kill you." He lunges toward me with his fist raised.

Quickly stepping aside, he misses me with the punch and in my lame attempt to block him, I sorta knock him off balance and he falls to the mattress with one knee on the bed and the other on the floor. Obviously, neither of us can fight for shit— last night's victorious bout notwithstanding.

I step backwards toward the door with my hands raised. "Look, I don't know what this is about, but let's just talk it out."

Craning his neck, he says, "You prick. You slept with her."

I spot my tennis shoes on the floor and quickly bend down to pick them up. "Yeah, but I can explain. I mean, I had no choice, I…"

He takes an angry step toward me and I take off out the door and into the hall. I rush down the steps and I can feel him close behind. I fly out the front door, turn to slam it closed and lean back against it hard as I slip the shoes onto my feet. I feel him struggling to get out. Keeping my ass against the door, I reach down in an attempt to tie the shoes. A loud bang on the door knocks it open a few inches and I stand upright abandoning my attempt at securing my shoes, putting more of my weight on the door as I go through my options.

After making up my mind and counting to three, I rush off the porch and turn left heading onto campus. I hear the door slam against the side of the house and hear his footsteps behind me.

"You pussy," he shouts at me.

Glancing back, I see him gaining on me. "Shit, leave me alone you ass."

Picking up speed, I climb a hill then head off through a cluster of dorms. He's only steps behind me as we run past a handful of people who look at us like we're crazy. A shirtless guy being chased by his identical twin who's wearing a button down shirt and black dress pants. I'm sure it's a bizarre scene.

Passing lecture halls, I head toward McKeldin Mall, the large open area in the center of campus, with him right behind me.

"You dick," he yells.

Sunbathers bolt upright and gawk as I rush past and onto the tree lined four-football field area with paths crisscrossing from every angle. One shoe flies off my foot but I keep going. I'm awkwardly running until I step on a rock with my bare foot and yelp in agony. I slow and out of the corner of my eye I see him execute some sort of half dive, half trip thing where he tackles me. We tumble onto a grassy area between two concrete paths.

We're both panting like lunatics as he climbs on top of me, holding me down by pressing my shoulders into the ground. "You came all the way back here… to keep me from seeing her and telling me how I should stay away from her and then you fucking sleep with her?"

"Uh, she sorta raped me," I lie with as much conviction as I can muster.

"Raped you!" Raising his fist, he glares down at me. "I should beat the shit out of you."

"Wait a second. I really didn't have a choice."

"Right." He closes his eyes and sighs. "Heh, you're not worth it." He relaxes a moment, then suddenly the anger returns to his face and he punches me right in the jaw.

My head slaps on the ground and I look up in shock, shaking my head, dizzied. "What the hell?"

"I'm going to do what I should have done when you first showed up." Nodding his head, young Ben wraps his hands around my throat.

"Waaa…iiit," I struggle to say.

With my eyes bugging out and through my peripheral vision, I see a handful of people are standing around watching us.

"Knock it off dude," says a guy in the crowd.

Young Ben looks seemingly surprised by his audience and I take this opportunity to knee him in the balls. Male onlookers cringe and the two girls standing nearby shake their heads in disgust.

"Ohhhh…" His eyes roll back in his head and he slumps to the ground next to me. Rolling away from him, to protect my own parts, I rub my aching chin.

"You… asshole." Young Ben flails a foot back and kicks me while he struggles to recover.

I roll twice more to get away and turn back to look at him with my mouth wide open as I continue to gasp for breath. "You could have… you could have killed me."

Rolling to face me, he opens his eyes and groans. "Yeah, technically… it would have been a suicide," he says in a voice three octaves higher.

I raise my eyebrows in agreement, glancing around to see the crowd has returned to their own lives. I roll onto my back and gaze up to the trees, letting out a long slow breath. "Ouch."

He lets out a low moan. "Shit."

"What the hell am I doing?" I turn my head to look at him. "Everything I do is wrong. My whole life has been one big fucking mistake."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"My job… the houses I've bought… investments, marriage, all of it."

"I told you I don't want to hear about it."

"You need to hear this."

He looks at me with disgust. "Has it really been that bad or are you just a pathetic, never satisfied, asshole?"

"Well, yeah, sure there's that," I admit. "I make so many mistakes. Let me help you fix them. Let me."

"Emily is not a mistake."

"She is." Sighing, I give him a sincere look. "Can't you do this one thing for me?"

Young Ben shakes his head. "No, I'm falling for her."

"Geez..." I give him a tired look. "What is it, the sauce?"

His eyes light up and he smiles. "Oh my God."

"I know, I know, it's fucking amazing." I rub my forehead. "It really is." Groaning, I sit upright, clutching my arms around my knees.

"And her family, it's like they actually have a home."

I nod. "You've seen her ass in those little satin panties, right?"

He narrows his eyes, like he's looking at her amazing curves right at that moment. "Adorable."

"Yeah, I get it." Exhaling, I give him a tired look. "It's the, uh… perfect sauce, perfect family and perfect ass."

"I know, right." He struggles to a sitting position, tugging at his balls with his hand.

"You're going to be miserable and make her miserable. There are so many other girls, just find another."

"I haven't even had a chance with her. I can make it work."

"Look, I didn't want to tell you this, but you, you can't get her pregnant."

"What? Why not?" He cringes. "Do we have like an exorcist baby or something?"

"No, no, I don't mean you
shouldn't
get her pregnant, I mean you can't… it's your boys…" Pointing to his crotch, I frown. "I mean, our boys, they can't swim."

"I don't believe you."

"Why would I lie about that?" I raise my hands up.

"Um, I don't know, you've pretty much lied to me about everything else."

"She really wants kids and you can't give them to her."

"Then we'll adopt or something."

I scoff. "It's not that simple."

"Whatever dude."

"You're going to go through all these fertility tests and waste a lot of money and time. Eventually you'll stop doing things together. You'll stop talking and… and you'll never have sex. She'll resent you. She'll tell you she threw away her life by being with you."

"Why the hell didn’t you tell me about this?"

"You told me you didn't want me to tell you about your future."

"Yeah, but this is pretty fucking important."

"I don't know. I, I, thought about it, but a lot of STDs are just starting up, like AIDS and, and… I didn't want you having sex with a lot of women, you know, without wearing a condom. Shit might start falling off of you and I didn't want it falling off of me, if you know what I mean."

He gives me a look. "Do you really think a lot of women would sleep with me?"