Chances & Choices (35 page)

Claire's heart melted.
 Oh yes, he was an incurable romantic.  Her words came out in a low, gurgling laugh.  "Oh, Julian, you make it sound like an illicit proposition."

He flashed her a seductive grin, his hand travelling up from her waist to cover her breast.
 "Actually, that was coming next."

Her laughter deepened, and she parted her lips to invite his kiss.
 He joined his lips to hers, giving himself up, at last, to the gentle master that had held him sweetly captive only once in his life before.

With the toppling of the final barriers, an irrepressible energy seemed to be released in Julian along with a passion Claire thought might never be satiated.  Her energy and passion matched his.  They reached for one another again and again as if to make up for the times they had been apart.  Neither slept, filling in the lulls in their lovemaking with explanations and explorations of their feelings.

Sometime during the night, their hunger for one another receded enough for them to become aware of another appetite.
 They collected various snack from the kitchen and ate, sitting up in bed, talking and feeding each other.  Claire attempted to rid the bed of crumbs, but she didn't get very far.  Her movements had a predictable effect on Julian and when he grabbed her, tossing her on her back, she quickly became oblivious to the feel of the crumbs.

At the beginning of their lovemaking, he reached for the necessary articles to prevent conception, but Claire stopped him - she wanted nothing between them, and the possibility of a child was no longer a threat, now she was sure of him.
 During one of their more lucid moments, she brought up the incident of the birth control pills.  She was sitting on top of him, straddling him, and his knees were bent under the sheet, supporting her back.  He was lying back on the pillows, one hand behind his head, the other idly caressing her, lingering here and there in particular areas.

"Julian, stop that and listen to me."

His gaze travelled slowly to her face a lazy, dreamy smile on his lips.  His eyes echoed the smile, turned an intense, dark green by their shared passion.  He murmured to her, indicating he was listening, but his hand continued its exploration.  She captured it with her own and brought it to her cheek.  She wouldn't be able to think straight much longer if he continued and she wanted to talk to him.

"Were you angry because I didn't want to have a baby right away, is that why you threw them away?"

A troubled emotion crossed his features and Claire almost regretted bringing up the subject, but she wanted to know.

"No, that wasn't my main concern.
 I was disappointed, sure, but it was your health I was worried about.  Those things have been linked to cancer.  I don't want you to use them."

She didn't argue with him, recognising the determined set to his jaw.
 He was normally far from overbearing willing to discuss differences of opinion in a reasonable manner, but she realised this was one stand he wasn't willing to budge from.

And now she understood why.
 It was a tell-tale incident, really, a clue to the problem that was keeping them apart.  If she hadn't been preoccupied by her insecurities over Susanna and Julian's reasons for marrying herself, she might have realised it.

"Of course, Susanna died of cancer."

He nodded slowly.  "Yes and if you'd ever seen anyone die that way, especially someone you love, desperately, you wouldn't even consider taking those risks, no matter how slight."

She laid her cheek on his chest and her heart reached out to him, sorry she had revived those painful memories in him and yet fiercely glad he was sharing them with her at last.
 She didn't bother putting forward evidence of improved trials and insignificant danger, nowadays.  He was dealing with his fears well enough.  He was entitled to hold on to some irrationality and this was one area where she could compromise.

She sat up and spoke to him, able to share her insecurities now they were no longer an immediate threat.
 "I thought you wouldn't love me as much because you felt it might be a betrayal of your love for her."

"No, you were way off base there.
 Before she died she made me promise I would marry again.  At the time, I only made the promise to keep her happy; the idea of loving again was very far from my thoughts.  But she knew better, she knew I'd fall in love again.  And I did; with you.  The reason I fought it had nothing to do with any mistaken loyalties to her."

Claire was relieved to hear of the promise.
 Although she felt confident with him now, she had secret doubts that Susanna's image might come back to haunt her in the future.  She took a deep breath before voicing other doubts she harboured.

"I sometimes think you might find me immature compared to her."

He sat up, his hands on her upper arms, bringing her towards him, his voice serious.  "Claire, just because she was twenty years older than you doesn't mean I find you immature, any more than she found me immature.  Maturity isn't about age, it's about development."

She reminded him of the remarks about her being juvenile the night she had taken Richard to the party and his comments about her tantrums the day after he came back from San Francisco.

He laughed and told her.  "Just because you're capable of a childish action doesn't mean you're immature - everyone has their juvenile side.  In your case, it had its beneficial counterpart.  That was the reason I let you slip past my defences in the first place.  I didn't think of you as anymore of a threat than I would Marcie, at first.  But no matter how childlike you can be, you're still very much a woman.  But I was so busy enjoying the child in you, I didn't notice the woman was stealing my heart.

And you needn't worry about me comparing you to Susanna, you're way too different from her for that.
 I might have made the mistake of not recognising how different at times, but that's all."

Although she took pleasure in his previous comments, his last remarks puzzled her.
 She gave him a questioning look.

"Susanna was always insulted by my jealousy, that's why it never occurred to me you might try to make me jealous."

Claire had the grace to look ashamed.

"And my temper never really bothered her that much.
  She had her own way of dealing with it - she just channelled it into a different type of passion."

He paused and lowered his eyes, aware that he may have made something of a faux-pas.
  “Sorry, I guess I shouldn't have said that."

Claire pushed him back down against the pillows, trailing her fingers along his chest.
 She was basking in his love; the idea of passion he may have shared in many years past with his first wife, no longer bothered her.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe I'll try it sometime."

She moved provocatively on top of him and trailed her tongue up his throat, kissing him when she reached his lips.  Sitting up suddenly, she braced her hands against his chest in an effort to stop him from pulling her back down, as he definitely intended.  Her quick words stopped him more effectively than her hands.

"Did you really think I had been involved in that pile-up?"

His reply was close to savage.  "Yes!  And don't you
ever
put me through anything like that again!  The time between when I first heard the report and your return was a nightmare."

He relaxed.
  "Although, Andrea was right.  I should have taken it as an object lesson, instead of blowing up at you.  It should have made me realise I should be making the most of our time together, instead of retreating.  I was pretty obstinate, I know.  But she did manage to get through to me.  I would have come round eventually.”

"Claire bent back down towards him. "That's what she told me.
 Good old Andrea."

But Andrea was far from her mind.
  Her desire to talk to him was being replaced by a more urgent one and she was physically aware that the same desire was growing in him.  She nibbled his ear and then whispered her request into it.

He pretended
amazement.  "Again?"  But he turned them both sideways under the sheet.  "You're insatiable, woman."

"Only for you," she answered him.

"I should hope so," he growled into her neck, pulling her hard against the length of him.  "If I ever catch you..."

"Enough with the empty threats," she interrupted him laughingly.
  "They don't impress me."

"No.
 Well how about this..." he made one swift, deep movement, "...does that impress you?"

"Very much!"
 She managed to gasp before their passion rendered her unintelligible.

The early morning light was filtering through the window when they finally slept, and the sun was high in the sky when Claire was awakened by Julian's hand on her shoulder.  He was fully dressed, although casually in jeans and a t-shirt, which was why it did not dawn on her immediately that it was a Monday and she should have been at work hours ago.

Sitting up with a guilty start, she told him so.
 Handing her a glass of orange juice, he didn't answer her, his eyes falling to the enticing sight her quick awakening had revealed.  She pulled the sheet up over her breasts.  Much though she loved to see that light in his eyes, she didn't want to encourage him, she was late enough already.

"I've been up for a couple of hours and I called Stella and told her you wouldn't be in for a few days.
 Under the circumstances, she understood.  You don't mind do you?"

Her mouth full of orange juice, she shook her head.
 The way he was dressed indicated he intended staying home as well, and playing hooky with him seemed like yet another excitingly illicit proposition.

"Oh and she fired Blake."

Claire swallowed her orange juice.  "Good!  She warned me about him; that he could be vindictive.  I’ve never really liked her.  I thought she was hard.  I guess I misjudged her."

"No one's all hard.
 Some just put up more defences than others, and it takes more to get through to them."  He smiled, he should know.

"Well, I don't know what it would take to get through to Richard!"
 She paused a frown furrowing her brow.  "What are you going to do?  Can you charge him with theft?"

"No.
 It would be hard to prove and I'd rather not have the circumstances of how he gained access to the designs revealed; it might be hard on you.  And I'd rather not have it known that he had the opportunity to force himself on you because I was stupid enough to neglect you."

Claire steered him away from this subject, knowing how he felt about it; she didn't want him dwelling on it.

"What will you do about the designs?  Can you sue Cecile?"

"Our lawyers talked this morning and seemingly it was one
of her junior assistants Blake leaked the designs to.  Cecile’s pretty embarrassed about the whole situation and very agreeable to a settlement.  To tell you the truth, I'm not that upset.  I was never really happy with them and now I have a perfect excuse to re-work them."  A smile crossed his features.  "I don't foresee any more problems now the reason for my preoccupation is settled."

Claire put down her orange juice and reaching across, grabbed him by his t-shirt.
 Bunching the material together in her hand, she pulled him towards her.  Kneeling up to meet him, her other hand still supporting the sheet, she challenged him saucily.

"If that's supposed to mean I will no longer prove a distraction, I wouldn't bet on it if I were you.”

Laughing, he made to kiss her, but she foiled his attempt by sitting back on her heels and deflating her statement with her next question.  "November's only a few months away, should you be taking the time off?"

Following through with his original attempt, he kissed her before answering. "It'll be okay.
 I think I've found a good assistant and I've decided to hire a new secretary and let Delia take over the merchandising end of it.  I never really cared for that side of it and I have a suspicion she'll be able to handle it better than I ever did.  That should give me a lot more free time, which I intend to spend with you.  I've allowed my work to take you away from me too much already."

Claire knelt back up to meet him and wound her arms around his neck, so she was close against him, the sheet still between them.

“Well, I'm glad you've finally got your priorities straight, Mr. West."  Leaning back, she allowed the sheet to slip and raised her eyebrow suggestively.  "Now, how shall we spend our free time?"

He wrapped the sheet back around her.
 "I thought we might drive up to Zuma or Malibu and enjoy the surf, but we won't be going anywhere if you continue tempting me with your delectable body."

 
Claire made a show of considering.  "That sounds like fun.  But then, I'm not really averse to your second suggestion, either."

Removing her hands from around his neck, he turned her around, pointing her towards her bathroom, with a playful slap to her bottom.