Chaos (19 page)

“Brett, can I have a sec?” Shane stopped him from leaving.
“About Campini.”

“I was wondering about that. Have you told her any of what
you feel?”

“Not most of it. She knows I’ve been trying to get him out
of there and that I promised to find a way to keep him safe.”

“But nothing about you being the one to personally look
after him, quitting your job and moving him away from here?”

“Not yet. I didn’t exactly expect this to happen today, not
like this. I thought, when the time came, I’d be able to take him to Mom and
Dad’s and be there while he got comfortable. Then, I planned on giving my
notice and leaving under better circumstances. My captain has already been here
and knows I’m out, even though he wasn’t ready to accept it. He’ll be the only
one who knows though. I think I should wait to tell Campini until she’s home.”

“How’s she going to take this?”

“Honestly, I have no idea. I don’t even know what I feel
about her, let alone how she feels about me. I’m kind of clueless here.”

“You better figure out what you want fast. She’s not going
to be gone all that long.” Brett wished the two of them would stop fighting the
inevitable. They were as good together as Jordan and Kiley were. Too bad they
were both too stubborn to see it.

“I know and thanks for listening.”

“Anytime, Shane. I like being the only one other than Jesse
who knows about you two.”

“Jordan knows.”

“Yeah but he hasn’t spent any time with you as a couple.
Before you protest, save your breath. You and Alyssa are a couple, whether
either of you acknowledges it or not. You just need to figure out what kind of
couple you want to be. I gotta tell you, Shane, I’ll be highly disappointed if
you two blow this. I know you don’t want to hear it but you’re perfect for each
other. Now get some rest. You have a kid to take care of now.”

Shane tried to doze after Brett left him alone but his mind
was too active. What the hell was he going to do now? He was responsible for
Flynn. He wanted Alyssa and he was beginning to feel that he wanted her as a
permanent part of his life. What was she going to say when she discovered what
he’d done? Maybe he’d be surprised and she’d offer to help with Flynn. Ha! Fat
chance of that happening. It was more likely that she’d be furious at him for
not telling her right away and that would be the last time he ever saw her. At
least he had a few weeks to decide what to say.

Alyssa told herself that she could handle this. Ever since
Brett had called and told her that Shane had been shot she had been fighting
the panic that threatened to overwhelm her. She’d never forgive him if he died.
When Brett offered to fly her home to see him, she accepted instantly. Now that
she was about to land, she was almost frantic. What if Brett had bad news when
he met her at the airport? Damn him for upsetting her like this! McKade
probably got shot just to torture her. Well if he had, it was working. She had
never been more frightened in her life.

“He’s okay, Alyssa,” Brett told her before he said hello.
“He’s got some pins in the bone in his thigh but he’s going to be fine. I’m
sorry that I worried you for nothing but you asked me to call you if something
happened to him.”

“He’s really okay?” Alyssa wasn’t sure if she wanted to laugh
or cry or find Shane and give him a piece of her mind. He had promised to be
careful, damn it!

“Honest, he’s fine.”

“Did you tell him you called me?”

“No, you said not to. Don’t you want to see him? I know we
made your return flight for the morning but I thought you’d go to the hospital
for a few hours anyway. I could still get you a later flight, by the way.”

“Thanks, Brett. I’m sorry I snapped at you. Yes, I want to
see him. I feel a little foolish, rushing home like this now that you say it’s
not that bad.”

“Why? You care about him. It’s only natural that you’d want
to see for yourself that he’s all right. He did get shot, remember? I didn’t
think it would make a difference that it’s not serious. You’re pale and you’re
shaking so why don’t you just admit it. You were afraid of losing him as soon
as I told you.”

“I was,” she whispered. “I was petrified that I’d never see
him again. Brett, what am I going to do?”

“For starters, you’re going to let me take you to the
hospital. You’re going into his room and tell him how relieved you are that
he’s alive. After that, you’re on your own.”

“Thanks, Brett. I’m very fortunate that you’re my friend
too.”

“Don’t mention it, Lyssa. Just make a little fuss over him.
His parents came and are staying at my house and Kiley is telling Jordan after
his show, so they’ll be here in the morning. Family concern is great but I
think knowing that you care will do wonders for Shane. He missed you more than
he tries to let show. It’ll mean a lot to him that you came.” When she looked
skeptical, he added, “Trust me. He may not say it but he’ll be thrilled to see
you.”

* * * * *

“Alyssa,” Jesse greeted her with a hug, “good to see you.
He’s doing fine. Go on in, stay as long as you like, I made sure no one will
question your presence when they come in to check on Shane.”

“Thanks,” she murmured quietly. When she stood, hesitating,
Brett opened the door and guided her through.

“Not that you’ll need us but we’ll be here.” Brett squeezed
her hand before he eased the door closed behind her, giving them as much
privacy as possible.

Alyssa slowly approached the bed, intimidated by the tubes
attached to Shane’s sleeping form. Even though Brett assured her that he was
fine, she was frightened by his appearance. She hadn’t expected to find all the
usual hospital bells and whistles after she heard his injury wasn’t
life-threatening. Standing beside his bed, she was unsure of what to do. She
wanted to touch him but didn’t want to disturb him. He looked so pale and
vulnerable lying there.

When a tear dripped onto Shane’s hand, the sensation roused
him from the drifting state he had been in. “Am I dead?” he asked, startling
Alyssa.

Alyssa hadn’t realized he was awake until she heard his
question. “Shane,” she sobbed, unable to control the flow of emotion that
suddenly overwhelmed her.

“Oh fuck, they had to take my leg. They said I would be
okay. Damn!” Shane’s mind only registered the worst possibilities. Why was she
here? Why was she crying?

“No, Shane, it’s still there,” Alyssa managed through her tears.

“Thank God.” He struggled to fight through the haze of
whatever they had given him when he returned to his room after visiting Flynn
in recovery. “Campini, calm down. What are you doing here, scaring me like
that?”

Alyssa was rapidly regaining control. “Me scaring you? How
the hell did you think I felt when Brett called and said you were shot? Damn
you, McKade, you promised me!”

“Hold on, I promised not to get shot in the head. You didn’t
say anything about my leg.” He reached for her hand but she was too far away.

“Ooh! I ought to…” Alyssa hit the bed next to him in
frustration.

Shane sucked in a breath and winced. “I wish you wouldn’t do
that.”

“Oh Shane, I’m sorry,” she said with a fresh burst of tears
as she began to pace next to the bed.

“Stop calling me Shane. It scares me when you do that.” He
still couldn’t reach her. “Hold still, Pix. I can’t keep up with you right now.
You’re making me dizzy, bouncing around like that.”

“I’m sorry,” she repeated with another sniffle.

“Please stop apologizing. Come here.” He held out his hand
to her. “I’m okay, really.”

She swiped her eyes as she grabbed his hand. “But…”

“Oh, right. I will be fine. I was shot in my thigh and they
had to put in some pins to fix the bone but they assured me that I would be
perfectly fine in a few weeks. I shouldn’t even limp after everything is
healed. I can’t believe you’re here.”

“Brett called me.” She was clutching his hand tightly
between both of hers.

“You said that but I don’t understand why.”

“I sort of asked him to let me know if anything happened to
you. I never thought he’d actually need to. What happened?”

“Wrong place, wrong time. I’m sorry, Pix. He shouldn’t have
bothered you.”

“Bothered me! McKade, if you weren’t already stuck in that
bed, I’d put you there for that remark. Of all the lame-ass, stupid things,
that has to be one of the most idiotic I’ve ever heard. Bothered me.”

“Wait. Please. That didn’t come out right. I’m at a
disadvantage here. I can’t really think at the moment, with the drugs they gave
me, so you’ll have to cut me some slack.”

“Oh, God, I’m such a jerk!”

“No you’re not.” He smiled. “You came.”

“Yeah, I came.” She finally relaxed enough to look at him.

“That mean you care?”

“Yeah.”

“Lots?”

“Yeah.”

“Good, ’cause I love you, Pix,” Shane sighed as he pulled
her hand closer and kissed her palm. “How long are you staying?”

What! He said he loved her! He couldn’t. Could he? It had to
be the drugs. He couldn’t possibly be serious. No way! “Um, morning.”

“Mm.” He nuzzled her hand against his cheek. “Then crawl in
and sleep with me.”

“I can’t do that.” She snatched her hand away and paced
again. “I’ll hurt you.”

“Not if you get in carefully. Come on, Pix. I need to feel
you next to me, even if it is here and we’re not naked. Please? I’ll sleep
better if you’re holding me.” He stretched his hand toward her after he patted
the bed.

“Shane, I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

“You called me Shane again. Are you sure I’m not dying? If
you know something I don’t, then my last wish is to hold you one more night.”

“You sure I won’t hurt you?” She looked undecided.

“If you do, it will only be when you actually get on the
bed. Come on, Campini. A little pain in exchange for comfort from the woman I’m
gonna marry is worth it.”

The woman he was going to marry! Whoa, he didn’t sound that
drugged but clearly he was. He had to be. Why else would he be saying such
outrageous things? Maybe being shot affected his mind in some way. It must
have. Between that and the drugs, he clearly wasn’t thinking straight. Not able
to resist the pleading expression on his face, Alyssa slipped off her shoes and
inched into bed next to him.

Shane urged her to lie so she was fully against his side
with his arm around her, holding her there. “I missed you, Pix. This makes it
almost worth being shot.”

“Hardly,” she actually laughed. “I think it was a little
extreme. I’m coming home, McKade. It may be another month but I will be back
eventually.”

“But don’t you see? This gives you the excuse you need to
admit that you love me too. Face it, Campini. We’re never going to find what we
have with anyone other than each other. You must have left as soon as you hung
up with Brett. You have to love me or you would have waited. Do you have any
idea how that makes me feel? My Queen, dropping everything and rushing to my
side. I knew it.”

“Shut up, McKade.” She started to pull away.

Shane clamped his arm, trapping her. “God, that hurts!
Please stop squirming.”

“I’m sorry.” She went limp against him.

“Sh, Pix. You don’t have to respond right now. I’m not
expecting you to give in easily. Fight against it all you need to, as long as
you need to. Just know that I’ll be waiting when you’re ready for me. I figured
out that you’re who I was describing when we talked about that professional
woman. We both know you need someone to take care of the everyday things in
your life. I want to do that. As soon as I can, I’m getting out of the city.
I’ll find us a house near Jordan and Kiley’s. I’ll make sure it has plenty of
room for your studio. And I’ll find one that has a tub big enough so I can
pamper you. Someday, when you’re ready, we’ll even have a kid. I can picture
him.”

“Him?” she decided to let him ramble.

“Sure. We’ll name him Charlie, after my grandfather. He
would have adored you, Pix. You’re feisty, just like my grandmother was. Unless
you’d rather name him after one of your grandfathers.”

“No, Charlie is fine.” She couldn’t believe this
conversation. Hopefully, he was so drugged that he wouldn’t remember it in the
morning.

“Good, I’m glad we have that settled.” He kissed her
forehead. “Now…”

“Sh, Shane. That’s enough for one night. Get some rest.”

“Oh, right.” He let her snuggle into his side, resting her
hand on his chest. “You really okay with moving out of the city?”

“Sure. Whatever you want. I can work from anywhere.”

“About the house…”

“You’ll find us a great house. I’m not at all worried about
it.”

How bizarre! Here she was, agreeing meekly with all his
ideas. She must be as shaken by his injury as he was. Good thing he was so
drugged. Even if he did remember any of this, she would be able to convince him
that he had imagined it. But, if it made him rest better, it was worth letting
him think she was accepting all he said.

“So you do love me? You are going to marry me? Soon as
you’re done with this assignment. I don’t want to wait too long since I’m
getting out of here.”

“That’s fine. And if you find a house before I’m back, just
go ahead and move my stuff with yours.”

“You sure? What if you hate it?”

“I won’t. You’re going to get me a studio. You’ll be there
and I know you’ll choose a house with a fully functional kitchen. What more do
I need?”

“Are you sure I’m not dying? You’re being entirely too easy
to get along with.”

“I came all this way to make sure that you’re okay. I am not
going to fight with you and upset you. If I did and something happened to you,
I’d never be able to stand it.”

“So you don’t really mean any of this?”

“Sure I do. Don’t set up my studio though after you move
everything. I’d like to make some changes from how I have it currently arranged
so I want to do that myself. Now shut up and go to sleep before someone comes
in here and tosses me out for not letting you rest.”

“You’ll wake me before you leave?”

“Yes.”

“Thanks for coming. Man, I can’t believe you’re here. Kiss
me good night, Pix. I wish I could make love to you.”

“Not tonight, stud. Put that right out of your mind. There
is no way we’re going to even try that, so forget it.”

“Just a kiss, Campini. You came all this way.” Alyssa gave
in and shifted so she could reach his mouth. Shane let her come to him. When
their lips joined, she felt as if she had been shocked. Even drugged, injured
and surely exhausted, he still took her breath away with a simple kiss.

“Enough.” Alyssa was close to forgetting that he was too
hurt to do more than kiss her.

“More, Campini. Kiss me until I’m better. I need you.” His
eyes reflected all the desire she felt.

“Shane.”

“Wow, that sounded unbelievably good. Not at all scary that
time. Say it again.”

“Shane.” Alyssa let her unsaid emotions show.

“I never expected you to use my first name, especially not
like that. I love you, Pixie Queen. Always. Forever. With all my heart. More
than you’ll ever know. I want to spend the rest of my life telling you that.
And showing you. Oh yeah, I want to show you how much I love you. I want to
lick you from head to toe and back again. I want to suck on your gorgeous
breasts and feel your nipples get hard with my tongue. I want to lick your
sweet pussy until you come. God, I love when you come on my tongue, Pix. Almost
as much as I love when you come on my cock. Mm, yeah, that is so damn good. The
feel of your tight pussy squeezing my hard cock is so incredible. The best. Do
you know how hard it is for me to not come instantly once you start doing that?
I want to spend my life loving you and making you scream with pleasure over and
over again until you can’t move and then I want to hold you while you sleep.
Now kiss me again. Please, Pix, kiss me.”

Alyssa lifted her mouth to his, partly out of desire, partly
to make him stop saying those things. Her mind was reeling, with his last
declaration. Even if he didn’t remember what he’d said, she was going to. How
would she be able to face him again and not think of it? How was she going to
stand it when he found the woman he really would marry? When they had a son and
named him Charlie? When Kiley made her go along to visit the house he said he
was going to find for her? They were merely having some fun together, no matter
what he’d said. It was the drugs talking, nothing more. And she was just
reacting to the stress. She couldn’t possibly wish he meant the things he’d
told her. There was no way she really wanted him to love her. She certainly
wasn’t ready to get married and start a family. And even if she were, it
certainly wouldn’t be with him. They may have gotten beyond their mutual
animosity but anything more than friendship was ridiculous. Talk about
overreacting to a dangerous situation! Thank goodness he wouldn’t remember any
of the things he’d said to her. Think how horrified he’d be with himself if he
knew what he’d told her. Well, she was simply going to have to forget it
entirely as if none of his statements had ever been made. She wasn’t ever going
to admit to a word of it. Then, when she got back, she’d be free to enjoy his body
again because, with the way his kisses were making her tingle, she obviously
hadn’t worked him out of her system before she’d left. That was all it was. She
still wanted his hot bod. Who wouldn’t want a man who could kiss her senseless
when he was in the condition he was in?