Chaos (20 page)

"I suppose it does not really matter," Sasha said and yawned. They needed to pack up and go, but he could not seem to muster the willpower to stand …

When he woke again, it was to a much darker room and the feel of someone settling in alongside him, slowly and carefully, as though afraid of disturbing him. Sasha shifted, slid an arm around David's waist, and slid back into sleep, lulled by David's presence and the warmth of the fire.

The smell of food and tea roused him the second time, and Sasha cautiously moved, relieved when the pain proved to be bearable. He pushed back the cloaks and slowly sat up. David looked up from where he was sitting close to the fire heating water and smiled at him. "Good morning."

"Is it morning? I confess I have lost all track of the hours and days."

David laughed as he pulled the pot of hot water off the fire and began to fix them both tea. "I honestly have no idea, but 'good morning' seemed as suitable a greeting as any. Here's your tea. How are you feeling?"

"Thank you," Sasha said. "Sore—very sore—but I think moving will help more than resting at this point, as much as I would like to stay in here and out of that wretched cold. I grew up in weather such as this, though it was certainly never as bad as this. I would swear it was not even this bad when I first arrived here."

"It's getting worse," David said. "Like I said, normally it starts easing off by now. I never really minded snow in previous seasons. I never loved it, but I never minded it. Right now, I'd give almost anything to see a clear sky." He sighed and stared into his tea.

Sasha reached out, took David's hand in his, and when he looked up said, "I promise that I will do all that is in my power to get you those clear skies. Schatten has been too long in the dark; I will restore the light."

David swallowed. "You—you're not even from here. No one from the outside has ever come. Why did you?"

"If I had a grand and lofty reason, I do not remember it. I know only I had instructions to infiltrate Schatten and destroy Licht and that it feels like the right thing to do. But since I have met people, seen firsthand how they live and what Teufel has done, it has become a personal mission." He let go of David's hand to gently brush the back of his hand against David's cheek. "Very personal."

"You—you kissed me—" David said and then ducked his head, rolling his eyes at himself.

Sasha chuckled. "Yes, and I will do it again when I do not smell like Sentinel breath." He wrinkled his nose, then finished his tea and moved close enough to the fire to check on the soup that was still reheating. "We'll have to move on soon, if only because our supplies won't last forever and it's entirely too many days to anywhere."

"Oak Hill is only a couple of days away, though we'd be better off managing as long as we can and get closer to Two Mil or even Raven Knoll."

"Raven Knoll is where Unheilvol is located. Do you still seek your fate?" Sasha asked.

David shook his head. "No. I'm choosing you; that's fate enough for me. But it's the largest city in the country. If anyone has supplies to spare it will be them—but it's also where you're likeliest to be caught, so we're probably best off working our way closer to Two Mill."

Nodding, Sasha checked on the soup and then filled both their cups. "So we should head north east, then. I never would have found my way without your compass. I should have given it back when I left you in Oak Hill, but …" He couldn't, because he'd been certain it was all he would ever have left to remind him of David.

It was the epitome of foolish to let himself get so attached so fast … but he was only fooling himself in thinking that 'let' had ever been part of it. No one had control over who they let in, not really. Bitterness rose up at that thought, followed by an old ache. Sasha shoved it aside, tired of emotions and memories that had no faces. He sighed softly and sipped at his soup.

"What's wrong?" David asked softly and lightly touched the back of his hand.

Sasha turned his own and caught David's fingers before he could withdraw, soothed simply by that small touch. He was a fool, but he was pretty certain that fact had never stopped him before. "I am tired of my memories being lost. I remember my given name, that I am from Pozhar, that I was the only one capable of coming here, that I am meant to bring chaos to Schatten … but precious little else. I have no idea who or what I am back in Pozhar."

David shifted closer, hand tightening in Sasha's, his face endearingly earnest as he said, "We'll find someone to break the curse, someone who won't turn you in. There must be somebody willing to do it, especially now that you're causing chaos." He smiled shyly, as if uncertain of the joke.

Despite everything, Sasha could not resist bending his head to kiss David briefly, the warmth and softness of his lips a balm that eased pains so old and deep Sasha could not remember when they hadn't been there. "Schatten first, then we'll figure out me. Now, for all that I loathe the idea of going back out into that snow, we need to be on our way."

Looking pleased, David nodded, rose, and began to move about their little campsite cleaning and packing. Sasha helped where he could, feeling old and feeble that he had to leave most of it to David. What was he doing with someone so young? David was just waking to the chance of a new, brighter life. If Sasha succeeded, David would countless options before him, options far better than him. Sasha had already done most of his living, even if at present he could not remember any of it. David had absolutely no reason to settle for him, and Sasha should not let him.

In the end, though, would Sasha even be an option? He still firmly believed that he would die when it was all over, for one reason or another. If by some twist of fortune he did not, there was no guarantee David would stay with him. It was far more likely that eventually David would move on as young men did—as they should.

So perhaps he should try to stop worrying about it and simply enjoy what he had for however long it lasted.

Nodding to himself, he finished helping David put out the fire and clean up the gatehouse. While David packed the bedding away, Sasha strapped on his weapons and made certain he would be able to use them. He settled his pack on his back and when David was ready, led the way outside. The snow fell slowly, almost lazily, but from the look of the clouds, the respite would not last long.

"The Great Sentinel is gone," David said, and Sasha realized he was right. The enormous body of the Sentinel was gone, leaving only mounds of snow. Where in the world had it gone?

"Must be something to do with the magic that made it," he said. "Hopefully the fact that it is gone is a good thing. I would stay and explore, but I'd prefer to make use of the relatively clear weather while we have it. Keep close to me, never lose sight of the wall."

David nodded and Sasha could not resist leaning in to take a brief kiss before he turned and started leading the way to the next Great Sentinel.

Despair clawed at Friedrich. Despair and frustration and exhaustion. People were dead. Raven Knoll was in shambles, and Unheilvol was overstuffed with survivors. There was no going down into the city; the Sentinels had overrun it.

Friedrich drank more wine, desperate to drown out what he could not force out. Teufel's words played over and over in his mind, Drache's voice equal parts reassurance and aggravation. And throughout, the overload of people confused his sense of Seeing. He dared not look anyone in the eyes when the ability was so overstimulated. The idea of touching people terrified him, because with every vision, the risk that he would finally break increased.

He could not afford to break, but if he was so close to breaking less than two months after Teufel had issued his orders …

Beloved …

Friedrich ignored him, ignored everything, and just drank, until the constant throbbing ache in his head finally began to ease. He did not dare think about what he would do when Unheilvol's stores of wine were finally exhausted.

Find better ways of coping.

Shut it,
Friedrich snarled.
It is not as though you help, constantly commenting and demanding while I struggle to handle everything else.

Drache did not reply, and Friedrich drank more wine. He tensed when he heard movement outside his door and breathed a sigh of relief when the voices eventually faded away. Standing up, swaying and stumbling a bit, he crossed his room to the one small window it featured and pushed aside the heavy tapestry covering it to stare out at the snow-ridden world beyond. Would the snow ever stop? Would they ever see spring?

He let the tapestry fall, ran his fingers over the worn fabric, the heavy embroidery depicting a field of white and purple flowers and a brilliant sun shining down upon them. Licht Blossoms, he knew they had once been called. If they still grew, it was not where anyone could see them.

Turning, Friedrich leaned against the wall and lifted his cup, draining it and licking traces of wine from his lips. More noise came from outside, and he flinched when someone rapped sharply at his door. Stumbling over to it, he drew a deep breath to steady himself, then opened it and said, "Yes?"

"High Seer, the Master Seer and Master Sorcerer have returned and request an audience with you."

"Of course," Friedrich said. "I will see them in the Hall of Vision."

"Yes, High Seer," the priest and with a bow, departed.

Closing his door again, Friedrich slowly went about getting cleaned up and dressed, finishing off his jug of wine as he did so, desperate for the numbing, floating feeling that would keep a barrier between him and the crush of people flooding his sanctuary. He longed for the peace of his quiet temple, but where else were the people to have gone? He was not sorry he had ordered everyone to Unheilvol.

He just wished he had better appreciated and braced for how badly it was affecting to him. It was not two voices that were going to drive him mad:  it was thousands.

Out of ways to delay, Friedrich opened his door and slowly made his way through crowded hallways. He acknowledged various greetings and bows as he best he could, but was careful to keep his hands tucked safely within the voluminous sleeves of his robe to avoid touching anyone. The buzz of the wine muted his powers, but not enough he would be able to avoid a vision if it struck him full on.

By the time he finally reached the Hall of Vision, one of the only places left in the temple that was not overflowing with people—at least for the moment, since people were permitted to sleep there so long as there were priests to guard the pool and altar—Friedrich wanted desperately to crawl back to his room and hide beneath his blankets until it was all over.

Beloved—

Leave me alone,
Friedrich said miserably, unable to take Drache's demanding presence on top of everything else.

You should come to me.

I can't. One, I never sleep deeply enough for it to be possible, or long enough for it to make a difference. Two, I have to be ready should something happen.

Wine will not help. It never helps. You know this. I can help. Let me.

Friedrich was tempted, so very tempted, but how could he sink deep into the recesses of his own mind when thousands of people were relying on him and at any moment the Sentinels might decide to mount the steps and attack Unheilvol. They had not so far, but that did not mean they would not. He had given up trusting anything Teufel had to say, except his threats to hurt people.

How was going he supposed to keep so many people alive? Supplies were low, and although there were groups that went into the city to forage, it was dangerous work that produced meager results.

They were problems he needed to better address, and he would, no matter how much he wanted to stay drunk and hidden, but for the moment, he set them aside and focused on the men standing near the vision pool. They were filthy, ragged, battered, and looked as though they would cheerfully slit his throat.

Friedrich could also not help but note they were alone. Likely they had dismissed the men who had traveled with them to eat and rest, but they should have had his prisoner. He stopped several paces away from them and reluctantly freed his arms as he said, "I am glad to see you have returned to us, Masters. Your skills and knowledge are sorely needed."

"You should not have sent us away in the first place," Boris said.

"Your High Sorcerer was murdered by the intruder whose actions have reduced Raven Knoll to its current state. There is no one else who could possibly bring him in. Why have you not done so?"

"We cannot find him," Karl snarled, hands balling into fists, anger filling his face. "We nearly had him once—"

"Yes, in the wood between Oak Hill and Black Hill," Friedrich interrupted. "He put you to sleep. What did you do after you woke in Black Hill?"

Karl's anger turned to hate as he realized that Friedrich had Seen him, but he said only, "We asked around, described the man—Sasha—knowing that at some point somebody must have seen such an odd sorcerer. He'd made some mention of being wounded and the boy he was with nursing him back to health. That proved to be true, and the boy—David—was from Black Hill. He's an ill omen; his parents once tried to flee Schatten and were killed by Sentinels. They were not sorry to see him leave with Sasha. We also learned that while Sasha was there in Black Hill, he somehow managed to restore their barrier." He made a face. "I say restore, but it was more like replace. Whatever he cast, it's stronger than the barriers that existed before."

Friedrich wished he could say he was surprised by that, but he wasn't. "To judge from what I have so far Seen of him, he is a sorcerer of a far greater ability than anyone here."

Except you, of course.

Karl does not need to know that. It will not help anything, only hasten his attempt to murder or banish me. Also, I told you to shut it.

"Why would you send us after someone you knew we could not defeat?" Boris demanded.