Chaos (23 page)

Sasha cupped his chin and tilted his face up to take a kiss, mouth warm, lips still damp, and the smell of fragrant, rose-scented soap filling David's nostrils. "Go get clean, sweet," Sasha murmured.

David obeyed, body thrumming from Sasha's presence, mind still wanting to cover itself with shame now that Sasha knew just how ignorant he was. He could not even imagine how educated Sasha must have been, how much he must know that he felt up to the task of sneaking into Schatten and killing Teufel.

Behind the relative safety of the heavy curtain, David stripped and threw his clothes in the pile where Sasha's still lay. He hadn't thought to grab clothes, but a set was laid out on top of a wooden chest.  He turned to the bath, which was, to his surprise, filled with clean, steaming water. Long used to going second after Reimund, or whoever he was rooming with during visits to Two Mills, having clean water all to himself was a treat.

He grabbed a bucket of hot water set near the tub, a rough rag, and a bit of soap and began to scrub himself clean vigorously. When he had cleaned himself head to foot, he shaved and then washed himself all over again just for the luxury of it. When he was done, he slipped into the tub of hot water and sighed softly. In the middle of winter, in a place he had never thought he would be, he was more than happy to just close his eyes and revel in the hot water for a little while. Thoughts of other things would simply have to wait a little while.

When the water eventually began to cool, David sighed and dragged himself out of it. He used a long, wide strip of cloth to dry himself off, then pulled on the clothes Sasha had set out for him. They weren't his, but they fit well enough they almost could have been. He pressed his nose to the fabric, enjoying the faint scent of roses and berries that clung to them.

Still feeling embarrassed, he nevertheless made himself step out of the curtained sanctuary and rejoin the other two. To his surprise, there was only Sasha, who said, "Achim went to fetch more snow for water. Come here."

David slowly walked over to him, something heavy settling into his gut. Sasha sat before the fire, close enough to be warm without overheating on a thick fur rug. There was a small earthenware cup beside him, and David could just smell the rich, heady scent of the brandy. He'd never had it, but the village chief kept some and David had often smelled it when he visited the chief's home.

It tasted like something wicked on Sasha's lips when he tugged David close and took his mouth. The soft kiss quickly took on an edge of its own, and Sasha's fingers slid into his hair, keeping David in place for the sharp, hungry kiss. When David finally drew back, he was out of breath and wholly distracted by the heat in Sasha's eyes, the throbbing of his own lips, the way it shot fire through the rest of his body and stirred a faint echo of that ache in his cock. "Sasha …"

Making a soft noise, Sasha kissed him again, tugging so that David suddenly sat across his lap. He had absolutely no complaints about the arrangement, happy to twine his arms around Sasha's neck and attempt to give as good as he got in the heady kisses.

He wouldn't ever be educated or fancy or breathtaking like Sasha, but by Licht he could take care of Sasha and follow him anywhere and learn whatever he had to in order to stay with him. Certainly it would never be a hardship mastering kisses and everything else Sasha was going to teach him.  "Sasha …"

"You are perfection, sweet," Sasha said, lapping at his lips as he drew back, then nuzzling against him. "Stop fretting about what you can't do. If reading matters so much to you, I'll teach you."

David stared at him, then dropped his gaze. "I was hoping you wouldn't ever know."

"I prefer to know," Sasha said. "If you don't want me to know things, then you don't trust me—"

"No!" David burst out. "I do. I came after you because I realized I trusted you more than everything else in my life. But—you're so different than me. I don't understand …"

Sasha forced his head up and cupped his face, thumbs stroking David's cheeks softly. "David, stop thinking you are the inferior here. Education does not make a man anything but educated, and sometimes not even that. It is heart and courage and kindness that people need. It was not an educated man who found me at the Great Wall. Don't underestimate yourself just because you can't read. Reading can be taught. What you have, cannot." Sasha kissed him again and withdrew only when the door opened, letting in a rush of frigid air.

Achim smiled at them as he went to bustling about the stove once more. David's face went hot when he realized he was still in Sasha's lap and he hastily squirmed free, scowling when Sasha snickered and smirked. Achim poured cups of tea and handed one to each of them, then checked on the still-simmering food before he sat down. "All is well again, then?"

"All is well," Sasha said. "So why don't you tell us how it is possible for a Great Sentinel to assume a human form?"

David jerked so hard that hot tea splashed over the rim of his cup and onto his hand. He set the cup down, swearing, and then stared at Achim. "You're—you can't be."

"Oh, I am," Achim said with the saddest smile David had ever seen. Looking at it hurt. "We were all human once. Six Priests of Night, six Priests of Day, the ruling council of Schatten. We answered only to the Priest of Night and Day and the gods themselves. When Licht began to lose himself and Teufel's mercurial ways finally went too far, we rebelled. Teufel cursed us, turned us into beasts and bound us to the Great Wall. Over time …" He sighed softly, drew one leg up, and curled his arm around it, eyes going distant. "Over time, many of my brothers preferred to forget their humanity and succumbed to being beasts. I do not know if anyone besides myself retains any humanity; I have not seen them in at least two hundred years. When last I did see any of them … well, I held very little hope I would see them again. You've already killed Bettina."

Sasha nodded.

"She was one of the first to succumb," Achim said quietly, looking away into the fire. "You granted her a mercy, though I know that was not your intent."

"I take no pleasure in killing anything," Sasha said, as somber as Achim. "If any good can be found in it, then I am glad for it. I had not anticipated the Great Sentinels being anything other than beasts, however. I am rather at a loss now as to what to do."

Achim tilted his inquisitively and suddenly David could
see
it—the sinuous grace of the Sentinels. His heart began to beat faster as the realization truly sank in. His mind whirled while he tried to make sense of it. He picked up his tea again, just to have something familiar, as he listened to Sasha and Achim continued to speak. "Do not know what to do? About me? Why, kill me of course."

"You're hardly a beast," Sasha said. "I might be willing to kill, but I don't kill people who have done no wrong."

"No wrong?" Achim laughed bitterly. He stood up and began to pull the food off the fire and carry it over to a table where he began to dish it all into large bowls. "The country fell apart around us, the people began to panic—and then they began to die—and all we could do was muster feeble protests. When we finally found the courage to take a real stand it was too late. Everything we had wanted to save was already lost. Bettina is not the only one to whom you would be granting a mercy—it is only that we do not necessarily deserve that mercy."

Sasha shook his head even as he accepted the steaming bowl Achim handed to him. "I don't want to—" he broke off with a pained cry, barely setting the bowl down before he pressed one hand to his chest and the other to his head. "Clearly I should not try too hard to force my memories."

Achim frowned in concern and knelt before him, placing his own hand on Sasha's chest. "That's a nasty curse, even worse than I thought from initial readings. It's a wonder you remember anything."

"I have experience with magic and my ring protects me," Sasha said. "I'm guessing that you cannot break it."

"No, alas," Achim said with a sigh. "Once, yes, but when I was cursed all such abilities were stripped from me. The only magic I possess now is a collection of harmless tricks. I am also bound to the Great Wall and cannot go far from it."

"How did you acquire all of this stuff?" David asked.

"Meine, the one people call the Wanderer, brings supplies to me," Achim said. "He is the only one who can travel the country at will. He brings supplies to the rest of us."

"The Wanderer exists?"

Achim nodded. "I have not seen him lately, but I'm sure he'll make himself known soon. You will have to kill him, as well, to get through the Great Wall."

Sighing, Sasha asked, "There is no other way?"

"Death is a terrible price to pay for anything and not a price that anyone ever wants to pay. That is why gods always demand it."

"Indeed," Sasha said quietly, and for a moment he seemed a hundred years older. David slipped an arm through Sasha's and leaned against him, offering what comfort he could with touch and presence. After a moment, Sasha relaxed a bit and sat up straighter. He looked at Achim and said, "It seems rather the height of rudeness to accept your hospitality and repay it with murder."

"You would be doing me a kindness, I promise," Achim said, his eyes closing, hands resting in his lap, clinging to the fabric of his robe. "Do you know what it's like to exist for nine hundred years? And that's all I do:  exist. I have no friends, no one to share my pain, not really. I have been a prisoner, chained to this wall, for nine centuries. It would take a stronger person than me to endure such a fate and not want to die when the chance is finally offered."

"As you wish, then," Sasha said quietly.

Achim opened his eyes, which were bright with tears. "I thank you. May daylight guide you and night grant your rest."

Sasha nodded, but said nothing, only picked up his bowl and began to eat. David forced his own food down, though he was no longer hungry. His mind chewed over all that had been said and unanswered questions gnawed at him until he could not help but ask, "Is the Wanderer that other priest? The Priest of Night and Day?"

"No," Achim said softly. "We are not able to speak much of the Priest of Night and Day, though what I know is little enough. He paid a price far worse than the rest of us for his betrayal because he was Teufel's paramour for many years."

"Paramour?" David asked.

"His lover," Sasha said.

David frowned. "But Teufel was Licht's shadow, that is why he sealed us away. The rest of the world betrayed Licht and killed him … but if that was the true story, you would not be here."

Sasha combed fingers through his hair and smiled at him. "No one knows the true story, not really. But from what little I know of Teufel, it does not surprise me he had a paramour, though he was beloved of Licht. David asks a good question, however:  who is the Wanderer if there were only twelve priests?"

"He was the Captain of the Guard," Achim replied. "We were good friends. When everyone else had fled in terror or bowed to Teufel's will, he still stood with us. Now he wanders endlessly."

David fought the sudden stinging in his eye. "Why is Teufel so awful?"

"Teufel is but a shadow," Sasha said softly. "The real question is:  what was wrong with Licht?"

David opened his mouth, then closed it again. When he could not come up with an answer, or anything to say at all, he simply settled for sipping at his tea and listening to the crackle of the fire.

Sasha brushed back David's hair, then settled the blankets over him. When he was confident David was comfortably settled, he joined Achim at the door. "You put something in his tea."

"He's sweet," Achim said, eyes flicking to David in his bed. "He has probably seen or endured more death than a man so young should. Indeed, he should still be a boy and it is a pity that he is already so much a man. He should not have to see the man he loves—I daresay the first person he has ever loved so—take a life in such fashion."

Love. The word twisted and coiled through Sasha, teasing him with shadows and whispered words, but no clear memories. He rubbed at his chest, then let his hand fall. His eyes went helplessly back to David, mind buzzing with too many thoughts for him to really sort them out. Love. The word was sweet and painful all at once, but he would rather die than let it go. "He should not be anywhere near me."

"I'm not sure anyone is capable of resisting a flame that burns so bright and true," Achim said. "It's in your eyes, in your heart." He gently placed his hand on Sasha's chest over his heart. "I feel there are many, in the past, who were comforted by the things you say and do—and the things you do not say and do."

Sasha shrugged. "I don't know who or what I am, save from Pozhar and sent to bring chaos to Schatten. I have powerful magic and I suspect a great deal of knowledge that is unusual for a man to possess. I doubt a man as valued as you claim I am would be permitted to venture into lands unknown on such a seemingly-hopeless quest."

"You don't strike me as a man who bothers waiting for permission," Achim said, mouth twitching.

They lapsed into silence, staring at each other, sad and somber but understanding. Achim stepped forward and embraced Sasha tightly. "Be at peace, fire child."

Sasha held him tightly, ignoring the words because he did not want to be a man who could feel peace at another's death no matter what the reason. "Are you sure there is no other way?"

"Not one that is actually achievable," Achim said as he stepped away. "The Priest of Night and Day could command us and gain access without killing us, but no one truly knows what became of him, and what little we do know we cannot say. As I said before, it is a mercy. I want a chance to live a new life, and my life is the very least I can offer to people I should have better served nine hundred years ago."

"I understand," Sasha said quietly.

"Then let us end this."

Sasha looked at David one last time, drawing strength just from the sight of him, then followed Achim out into the cold and snow. Achim moved to the gate and stood before it, standing straight and tall, his gaze unflinching and his jaw set as he met Sasha's eyes. "However you prefer, fire child. Thank you for braving the dark to bring us back into the sun. May all your lives be full of light."