Chaotic (Imperfect Perfection) (27 page)

We ended up at the pool table even
though I had seriously no focus once the alcohol started setting in. I giggled
when one of the balls popped off the table and landed on the floor with a thud.
“I think we’re done here,” Nash said with a smirk. “You ready for another drink?”

“Of course,” I replied as I swayed
my hips in front of him and somehow made it back to our table. Zoey and her
date, Reed were quietly talking to each other. I giggled when I saw her hand run
up his thigh. Zoey was pulling out all the moves tonight, and I don’t think
Reed minded one bit. I seriously doubted she would be coming home tonight.

“Cheers.” Callie clinked her glass
with mine just as Nash handed me a fresh one and plopped down in the seat next
to me, a winded Drew coming to stand behind her. He seemed like he was always
trying to keep up with Callie. She was a little bit of a whirlwind sometimes.

“So, where are you two headed
tonight?” I asked, wiggling my eyebrows with a giggle.

Callie gave me a shy look which I
didn’t think was even possible and nudged me with her elbow. “I’ll probably end
up going home with Drew,” she said in a hushed tone, like it was against the
law or something.

“For god sakes Callie, he’s your
boyfriend. If you’re going to go home and have sex with him, at least be proud
of the fact.” I hiccupped as I winked at Drew whose face had turned bright red.

“Okay, I think someone needs to be
cut off.” Nash smiled at me as he wrapped an arm around my waist. “I think
we’re going to call it a night guys. Does anyone need a ride back?”

Everyone quickly answered no, and I
narrowed my eyes. “See, I was right. Don’t be shy because you’re getting lucky.
I’ll see you two in the morning, expect to be grilled.”

Nash helped me into the truck,
thankfully, because I don’t know how I would have gotten there otherwise. I
leaned on him the whole way home, practically doing a face plant in his lap,
which would have been embarrassing, normally.

“I think I’m going to need to stay
with you tonight,” Nash stated as he plucked my keys out of my hand to open the
front door.

“Oh, are you looking to get lucky
too? I think I could arrange that.” I yanked him into the house, attacking his
mouth as soon as he stepped over the threshold. We both stumbled together, and
I giggled when I realized what was happening. “We’re going down.” I giggled
against his mouth as he landed on top of me, my back hitting the wooden floor
with a smack. I had a feeling that was going to hurt in the morning, but right
now, the alcohol was numbing any pain.

“Della, are you okay?” he asked,
pulling back at the same time I tried to yank him back down. “Of course, silly.
More than okay.” I pushed my hips up, hoping to encourage him but when I saw a
worried look flash across his face, I knew it wasn’t helping.

“Della, we don’t need to be doing
anything tonight when you’re like this, even though it’s cute.” His thumb
brushed across my lips, and I darted out my tongue to lick him. “Della,” he
said in a warning tone. “If you keep doing things like that, I’m not going to
be able to stop what you’re starting.”

“Well then, don’t stop,” I
demanded, forcing him back down to my lips, pulling at his shirt at the same
time. I ran my hands over his smooth stomach, and he reached down to slap my
hands away. “Della, this is your last chance. Are you sure?”

I looked up into those brown eyes,
filled with something that I couldn’t quite put my finger on but I knew he
cared about me. More than a lot of people did. Justin being one of them. “Yes,”
I insisted as I tugged at his shirt again, and this time, he ducked his head
down, helping me along. I flicked my tongue over his nipple once it was off,
and he shuddered in response.

I pushed back onto his chest,
rolling over so I was now straddling him, completely in control, or at least
that’s what I was telling my foggy brain, but Nash was not having that. He
rolled our bodies again, studying my face once more before he leaned down,
brushing his lips against my neck, then to my jaw and then finally landed on my
lips.

I felt his hands fumble around a
few times, but eventually he worked my dress down my body and unsnapped my bra,
cupping me in his hands. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this with you,”
he whispered before leaning his head down to suck and bite at each of my
nipples. His mouth stayed locked on me the entire time while he stripped the
rest of my clothes off.

I felt him shift slightly as he
pulled his shorts off while I kept my eyes squeezed shut the whole time. I had
a feeling if I opened them, the whole room would be spinning. “So beautiful,”
he whispered, and I leaned up to pull him back down, biting at his lip as I
felt his bare skin meet mine.

He wedged my legs open, and his
fingers slip inside, causing me to whimper at the contact. He thrusted in and
out, as I arched up against his hand. I felt so close, but he pulled away
before I could make it all the way. I heard the familiar sound of foil ripping
before he was back over my body, kissing me roughly while he slowly pushed
himself in.

He groaned against my lips as he
touched his forehead to mine, and I breathed through the slight pinch of pain.
After I felt him in all the way to a hilt, we found a steady rhythm together as
I dug my fingers into his back, pulling him even closer. Our movements became
erratic, our heavy breathing mixing together.

He pounded into me even harder with
a growl, reaching a hand down between our bodies, and I fell apart shouting out
his name, as I tried to catch my breath. Nash made it difficult to think as he
continued to pump inside of me and then one last time before he shouted out my
name.

“Everything I ever imagined,” he
breathed against my neck as his hands twisted into my hair and we laid there
together, our limbs wound around each other as we tried to catch our breath. The
alcohol’s effects were quickly working on me, making my eyelids heavy with
sleep before we drifted off, entwined with each other.

The next morning when I woke up in
Nash’s arms, I knew that I had made a mistake. Not necessarily a mistake at
being with Nash, but I had pushed him into the physical part of our
relationship far too soon. All because I had decided to go out and get wasted.

My old ways of filling a void were
slowly creeping back into my life, only this time I was trying to fill the gap
that Justin had left behind. Nash seemed so happy though, and I just didn’t
want to ruin that, so I figured I would give things a little more time.

Nash and I spent a lot of time
together, going on group dates, the movies, or out to eat by ourselves, but we
didn’t have sex again. He didn’t push it, and I felt a little guilty, but I
wanted to wait until the right time. Even though I didn’t know if that would
ever come again. I felt more like one of his friends than a girlfriend whenever
we were together.

“Hey, Nash, can you stop at Shorty’s?
I was going to talk to Brian about possibly getting my job back when school
starts up.” He looked at me sideways, but didn’t say anything and turned in
that direction.

I rubbed my hands nervously against
my shorts. I knew I needed a job once the school year started up so I could pay
for utilities and school books and figured I would look at Shorty’s first.
Sure, it would bring back lots of memories that I just wanted to go away, but
at least Justin wouldn’t be there.

He had probably all ready graduated
from the police academy and was most likely working as a cop by now. I secretly
said a silent prayer for him every day even though I had never been religious. I
really needed to just stop thinking about him. But I couldn’t.

Nash’s door popped open and I looked
at him as I hopped out of the truck. “What? I thought we might as well grab
some food while we’re here.”

“Uh-huh, more like you think I need
protection or something. I’m a big girl, and I’m sure Justin’s not even here.”
I bit my tongue as I swung the door open and instantly spotted his figure
sitting at the bar with a drink in his hand.

My breath caught in my throat, all
I really wanted to do was run over to him and feel his arms around me, but I
pushed forward trying to ignore him as much as I could. But of course that
couldn’t happen. “Della,” he called out in a surprised voice as I leaned
against the counter, looking for Brian.

Nash stood closely beside me,
glaring over the top of my head at Justin who stood up and moved down to where
I was. “What are you doing here?” His eyebrows knitted together as he stared at
me, and I saw his hand twitch like he wanted to reach out and touch me, like to
see if I was really there. I was just about to do the same thing.

I never believed there was such a
thing as soulmates, but now I was starting to rethink that. Even after spending
so much time away from each other, and everything that had happened, I still
felt this pull towards him that was undeniable.

“Seeing about my old job,” I
replied tightly, turning to look away from him and it took everything out of me
to do that. Those grey eyes were just about ready to suck me in, even with Nash
standing right there. It was like only the two of us existed, right then and
there.  

“Della, I-”

Luckily, Brian stepped out from the
kitchen at that very moment and cut off whatever Justin was about to say.
“Della, what a surprise! Please tell me you’re here to get your old job back
because if you are, it’s yours.”

I smiled at Brian, having missed
his easy personality. He really was the best boss. “Really? That’s awesome, I
was hoping I could start back up once school started.”

“Perfect, stop in next week, and
I’ll have you down on the schedule.” He looked between me and Justin who was
now leaning against the counter, his head cradled in his hands and his eyes
squeezed tightly shut. “Good luck with that,” he whispered out of the corner of
his mouth, before turning back towards the kitchen.

“Della,” I heard Justin call out my
name again, but Nash stepped forward. “Just leave her alone, dude.”

“Nash,” I interrupted quietly.
“Could you please just give us a minute? I’ll meet you in the truck.”

I saw a flash of hurt pass through
his eyes, but he backed up and nodded his head before going towards the parking
lot.

“How have you been?” I asked
tightly, trying to make some kind of small talk because really I didn’t know
what else to say.

“Horrible. I think about you night
and day, Della. About what we had, about what we could have had before I fucked
everything up. And you’ve obviously seemed to move on,” he looked down at the
floor, kicking his shoe against the bar stool.

I didn’t bother arguing. Yes, I was
with Nash but I had most definitely not moved on. Justin was on my brain almost
every second of the day. But I didn’t want to give him any kind of hope because
I didn’t think we would ever go back to being us, at least not for awhile. I
think someday I could forgive him, but I would never forget, even if what he
did seemed not that big of a deal to other people.

“Well, I don’t know what else to
say Justin. You’re not the only one who can’t stop thinking about us, but right
now I just need a little more time.” It took everything in me, but I turned
away and walked out the door, leaving him standing there alone.

Seeing him conjured up all of those
feelings and memories that I had tried so hard to just forget about, but I now
knew that was going to be impossible. There was still so much between the two
of us, it was hard to deny. I swiped a lone tear away as I climbed back into
Nash’s truck and slammed the door behind me. The ride home was silent until he
pulled into the driveway. “Nash, I think we need to talk.”

“I think we do, Della.” His lips
were pulled into a tight line and I could see his jaw ticking, a sure sign that
he was upset.

“Nash, I just-”

“No, Della, I think I need to go
first. I’ve been thinking about this all day and how to tell you exactly. I
know it’s going to ruin anything we had because I just can’t continue this
now.”

“What is it, Nash?” I asked,
confused as to why it sounded like he was breaking up with me when I had been
about to do the same thing. It wasn’t because I had just seen Justin…well that
had to do with it partially. But over the past couple of weeks I had come to
the conclusion that we were better off friends and I think that was all we
really would be.

“I really care about you, Della.
But…” he chewed on his bottom lip, and I raised my brows, wondering what could
have Nash so knotted up that it was so hard for him just to tell me. “Mariah’s
pregnant,” he rushed out, “about four months along, and I can’t just leave her
all alone to deal with this. I have to be there for her, and I can’t do that
while I’m with you. It just isn’t right.” He blew out a breath, squeezing his
eyes shut. I reached out a hand to try to console him in some way. I really
didn’t know how to.

 This was life-changing news for
Nash, and I couldn’t imagine how he was dealing with it. My heart swelled for
him being forced back together with Mariah, someone that I just couldn’t see
him being with, even if it was just to parent together, but I knew Nash all too
well, he would probably be proposing to her the next day. “I don’t know what to
say, Nash. Do you want to talk about it?”

He shook his head sharply. “Not
really, Della. I just found out, and I think I need some time alone to think
about this,” he kissed me gently on the cheek and whispering, “I’m sorry.”

“When you’re ready to talk, just
know I’ll be here for you, whenever you need me.” I meant every word I said;
just as a friend. I had a feeling Nash would be needing a lot of my support
over the next few months.

It was funny how much life had
changed in the past year. I had started my life fresh, making some of the best
friends I had ever had, and falling in and out of love. Well, out of love, I
wasn’t so sure about after today. Seeing Justin again had really confused the
hell out of me.