Charlie and Pearl (16 page)

A friend?

PEARL

“What are you doing here?” I hissed at Charlie when mum left the room to go to the toilet.

“Oh! I forgot... wait there” he ran out to his car and came back carrying a silver gift bag with an elaborate curly gold bow on the top. “I got you these” he said proudly.

I opened it. Chocolates and some weird kind of little bean bag?

“It’s a wheat bag” he explained. “You stick it in the microwave for a couple of minutes and it provides relief.”

“Relief from what?”

“You know” he gestured towards my pelvic region, “cramps and stuff”

“Cramps? Oh Charlie, you really are an idiot aren’t you”

“I thought you were having your period!”

“Why would you think that?”

“Uh, never mind” he
backtracked
.

“It’s a sweet, if misguided, gesture. Thank you” and I pecked him lightly on the lips then moved quickly away.

Mum came back in the room followed by Gran.

When mum turned up
the other morning
I walked out to meet her, summoning a smile even though I felt
in a small way like my world was being
invaded, and then I saw Gran in the passenger seat. She looked much smaller than the last time I had seen her,
which had only been
a few months previously. She looked at me, nervously.

Shit. It was easy to be
mad when she wasn’t right in front of me
. Looking at the wrinkled face I knew as well as my own
,
I softened. I was so scared of losing her. The others were hard enough, but this one.

She’s my Gran.

I can’t imagine my life without her. She got out of the car.

“My darling” she said, holding out her arms, “can you forgive your old gran?”

I hugged her
tightly in
answer.

She’s insisted on sleeping in the spare room, which feels weird to me.

“Nonsense,” she said, “this is your home right now; I’m just a guest”

When she came into the dining area and saw Charlie her eyes lit up.

“Hello Charlie,” she said, “Claire’s told me you’re a friend of Pearls?”

“Yes, a friend”, he
emphasised
, shooting me a slightly hurt look.

“Well you must stay for dinner”

“No!” I said, a little too loudly. They all looked at me, eyebrows raised. “I’m sure Charlie has other plans.” I willed him to understand. It went right over his head.

“Nope” he smiled, “no plans at all. I’d love to stay”.

Much later, after dinner was eaten (
Gran whipped up a quick and delicious meal of
Mussels in white wine, garlic and onion
cream sauce with grilled bread
) and Mum and Charlie were doing the dishes, Gran led me by the elbow out onto the deck. Our breath was frosty, cloudy in the air.

“How are you love?” she asked.

“Fine”

“I’ve been thinking, maybe we should get a second opinion?”

“No Gran” I warned, checking to make sure Charlie was still out of earshot. “What’s done is done, just leave it”

“But...”

“No! It’s my choice”

She changed tack. “You and Charlie seem close”

“We’re friends, that’s it.”

“That’s not it for him. Any fool can see how he feels about you”

I rubbed my eyes, tired. “
Stop it Gran. I’m tired.
I’m going to bed”

“Have you told him?”

“No. And you’re not going to either, promise me”

“It’s not right Pearl”

“Maybe not, but it’s my choice”.

CHARLIE

I’m not sure what the tension
’s about
between them but there’s definitely something. All through the dinner I could see Claire and Pearl’s Gran watching her eat, exchanging
pained
glances. Once I e
ven thought I saw a tear emerge from Claire’s eye and start its journey down her cheek
, but she wiped
it
away quickly before I could be sure.

What was the deal with that?

I couldn’t catch Pearl alone to ask her about it. They ate with us, then I did the dishes with Claire and next thing Pearl was making her excuses, saying she was tired and needed to go to bed.

It was 9.00pm.

I couldn’t very well follow her could I? After all the emphasis she’d
p
ut on us being only ‘friends’. She was quite clear she didn’t want me to stay on without her either.

“Night Charlie” she said, pointedly.

“Oh no, stay for a Baileys with us” Claire smiled.

But the look I got from Pearl clearly said ‘do so and die’ so I made my excuses, told them I was deligh
ted to have met them, and left, more confused than when I’d arrived.

PEARL

I couldn’t sleep because as much as it pissed me off I knew Gran
had a point
.

But I couldn’t tell him.

I just couldn’t.

Charlie is my
one
escape from reality. Sure, I might sometimes treat him as if I could give or take him, but truth be told that’s just an act. The two days apart
after our first fight
without contact proved th
at. He lasted longer than I did.
Somehow, over the last few months, I’ve begun to
depend on
hi
s presence
in my life.

How the hell did this happen? I didn’t come here looking for this. I came here to get away, to have a break and come to terms with a few things. Instead I met a blue eyed boy and my head is more stuck in the sand than it ever was. I haven’t made any plans, thought about...the things...
that I was supposed to be here
think
ing
about.

Denial.

My most favourite place in the whole wide world right now is in the ‘cave’ with Charlie. Our cave is something we discovered the day after the first night.

T
he next day at the
Beach house
we had more time (and sobriety) to explore each other. His body was
beautiful
, the top half, from his shoulders to his waist, was slightly longer than the length of his legs. I can’t say I ever noticed it when he’s standing, but examining him in bed I measured it with my hands.  He wasn’t ‘buff’, but I’ve never liked that body builder look anyway. I preferred arms like his; sinewy, trim, taut.

The Cave is where we retreat to when we’re alone together. We pull my cream duvet over our heads until it’s just us blocked off from the world and we make love, looking into each other’s eyes. It’s sweet and tender and warms my soul.

I’m not planning on doing anything to ruin it.

CHARLIE

On the Sunday I got a text from Pearl. ‘Coast is clear – you can come back
’.

So I went round. I expected her to maybe grovel a little, be apologetic, to have some sort of explanation for the way she’d acted but
no,
she was fine, behaving as if the last few days were normal.

Huh?

“Um, Pearl” I said, when we were side by side in her bed, enjoying a post coital rest.
I traced my fingertips along her collarbone.
“Do you want to tell me why you didn’t want me anywhere near your family?”

She
sighed and
rolled away, her back facing me. It was a very disapproving back. “Not
really
” she said.

“Are you ashamed of me?”

She rolled half back, looked at me over her shoulder, a frown line between her eyebrows. How have I never noticed that blue vein on her temple before?

“Don’t be an egg Charlie”

“I wasn’t trying to be”

“Look, it’s not personal ok?”

I’d heard that before and I was starting to disagree. It certainly felt personal.
But I just murmured a noise of agreement.

She rolled back towards me, lifting my arm and borrowing underneath it, placing it around her shoulders. Her face was all smiles again, like the sun had just popped out from behind a cloud.

“Hungry?” she asked.

Later that night, while we drank Milo and watched American Idol, (“I can sing better than all of them” she scoffed, but I’d heard her sing in the shower and she couldn’t. At all) I broached the subject again.

“You know you can tell me anything right?” I said, massaging her back.

“I know”

“I mean, like, anything”

“Yeah, you can tell me anything too”

“I don’t have any secrets”

“Are you saying I do?”

“Do you?”

“No”

“Well...that’s good then”

“It is good”

And then she started stripping off her clothes for bed and that was the end of that conversation.

PEARL

So excited!