Chasing a Dream (25 page)

Hallie pulled out a chair from the kitchen table for Tess. “Would you like some coffee or a piece of lemon pound cake?”

Tess shook her head. “No, thank you.”

Hallie’s gaze dropped to Tess’s shoulder. “Maybe I should take a look at that. I’m not a doctor, but I play doctor to a wide variety of injuries at school. I teach first grade. You’d be surprised at the inventive ways kids can get hurt.” Hallie grinned, but her smile didn’t cover the concern in her eyes.

Tess took a seat at the oak kitchen table. From the next room, she could hear Justin arguing with his brother, and compunction coiled tighter in her stomach. She’d caused so much grief and strife, and she hated it.

“Do you have any children, Tess?”

Tearing her attention away from the men’s voices, she looked up at Hallie, who pushed Tess’s shirt off her shoulder to examine her wound. “No, I don’t.”

Tess’s thoughts jumped to the day she’d realized she could be carrying Justin’s baby and the horror she’d known. Tess slid a hand to her lower abdomen and spread her fingers in a protective gesture. The possibility of a child, Justin’s child, stirred a maternal longing in her heart. “I’d like to have children though . . . some day.”

“Mmm. Me, too. We keep trying, but so far, no luck.” Hallie smiled wistfully then dropped her gaze back to Tess’s shoulder and winced. “Ouch.”

“I think it’s superficial. The bullet just nicked me.”

Hallie’s face blanched. “Your ex did this? He really shot at you?”

Tess wet her lips and nodded. “Except he was aiming at Justin. I knocked Justin out of the way before—” She stopped and met Hallie’s eyes with a beseeching gaze. “Please, don’t judge Justin harshly. I know it all sounds seamy and illicit, but it really never started out that way. Justin saved my life. Literally. He’s the kindest, sweetest man I’ve ever met, and I never wanted him involved in the nightmare my life has become. But everything got out of hand so fast.” She paused, and Hallie straightened from her examination of Tess’s shoulder.

“I’m going to get some alcohol to clean this up before I bandage it.”

Tess caught Hallie’s arm. “Justin’s not to blame. He’s just trying to help me.” She desperately wanted to repair the damage she’d done to Justin’s relationship with his family, knowing how important they were to him.

Brian’s wife sat back down in the chair across from Tess and covered Tess’s hand with hers. “And we want to help you too. To help both of you. Our concern is just that Justin has always been a dreamer, an idealist, never quite in touch with the realities of life. Not that he’s irresponsible, but he acts impulsively, based on his emotions, without thinking things through first. Just like when he took off hitchhiking to Nashville a few weeks ago. He’s been especially unpredictable since Becca’s death. Nothing he’s done lately makes sense to us. Mac’s trial ended and boom—Justin hit the highway. He broke up with his girlfriend of five years and was gone.”

Tess raised her chin a notch. “I know about all of that. But Justin tells the story differently. Going to Nashville had been a dream of his for years. It wasn’t a snap decision. I didn’t intend to get him involved with my problems, but—” Tess bit her lip. “There’s something special about Justin. He gave me something I needed. He filled a void in me. He was kind and understanding and fun to be with.

“I tried to leave him. I didn’t want him in danger, but leaving got harder and harder the more I knew about him. Before I knew what was happening, I realized I was falling in love with him.”

Hallie hesitated before answering, her expression dark with worry. “We love him too, Tess. And we want him to be happy. If you make him happy, then I hope things will work out for you.”

Tess felt a quick tug of regret in her chest. She debated whether to explain to Hallie that despite her fondness for Justin, planning a future with him was futile. She might never be truly free of Randall, and she couldn’t stand in the way of Justin’s dream of a music career by asking him to hide out with her. Nor could she ask Justin to saddle himself with a woman haunted by Randall’s legacy.

“Justin has a lot to give,” Hallie said, “but I have to warn you. There’s a restlessness in him. He won’t let himself be truly happy until he puts his demons to rest. How much has he told you about Rebecca?”

Tess narrowed her gaze. What else was there to the story about Rebecca?

“Justin took her death hard.” Hallie turned her palm up as she explained. “Very hard. Much harder than the rest of us. We all loved Rebecca and were devastated by her death and how she died. But Justin was crazed with guilt and grief. He was especially close to his sister. They were kind of a team, and she spoiled him. He went to court every day of Mac’s trial.” Hallie’s eyes had a faraway look as she remembered the days that had been so painful for the family, but especially for Justin. “Justin took so much blame on himself and has never forgiven himself for Becca’s death. He can’t let it go, just like he can’t seem to let go of his notion that if he doesn’t become a success in Nashville, he’ll have let Becca down again.”

“But he does have talent. Why shouldn’t he try?” Tess argued defensively.

“Brian has talent too, but he also has the sense to know that if he wants to feed his family, he can’t chase a dream that in all likelihood will never come true. Thousands of hopefuls go to Nashville and never make it. Justin has pinned all his hopes on a recording contract, setting himself up for heartbreak, and we don’t want to see that happen to him. He sets such high goals for himself—”

“His optimism is one of the things I love most about him,” Tess said.

“But optimism won’t pay the bills. And when he doesn’t reach the impossible standards he sets for himself, he believes he’s a failure. If he were just more realistic about his goals, maybe he wouldn’t see himself in such a dim light. We all see his potential.”

“Meaning?”

“Well, before their falling out, his father offered him a share of the family’s hardware business if he’d stay in Wellerton. Justin turned him down. Justin has talent in more than just music. He was working toward a degree in architecture when he quit college. And he’s a gifted carpenter. He loves people, and he’s as great with kids as he is with old folks. His personality draws people to him like a magnet. He has so many options open to him.”

“But he loves his music. That’s what he wants to do.” Tess realized at that moment how much she wanted Justin to succeed too. She wanted him to have his dream, because she knew how important music was to him. His music came from his heart. “If his music makes him happy, why shouldn’t he pursue it?”

Hallie leaned back in her chair, silenced by the subtle reproach in Tess’s reply. The women exchanged glances that called a peaceable truce, an acceptance of their disagreement on the point. With a nod, Hallie stood. “I’ll get the alcohol now.”

“Thank you.” Tess gave Hallie a smile she hoped mirrored her gratitude.

“Tess, I don’t mean to sound so negative. I think the world of Justin. But Brian and I know Justin tends to act impulsively in some situations rather than responding rationally. Maybe that’s not the case this time. Maybe his guilt over Rebecca’s death didn’t factor into his involvement with you. Maybe I’ve said too much.” She frowned as she turned away. “I’m sorry. I have no right to pry in your business and Justin’s.”

Tess shook her head. “No, I appreciate your honesty. But maybe what Justin needs more than your worry is your faith. The idea that his family doesn’t support him in his dreams, isn’t proud of his willingness to try, can’t believe in his judgment and trust him to do what he feels is right, hurts him more than you can imagine. It’s in his eyes whenever he talks about his family or his music. He loves both and feels like he was forced to choose one over the other.”

Hallie stared at Tess as if she couldn’t believe what she heard. With a bewildered, deeply thoughtful look on her face, she turned her gaze toward the living room where Justin and Brian still argued, though in calmer voices now. “Is that how he feels? That we’ve forced him to choose? I never knew that. We never meant . . .” She tucked a short wisp of hair behind her ear as she snapped herself out of her daze and faced Tess. “I’ll see to it he knows otherwise before he leaves here.” She gave Tess a quick smile before disappearing down the hall.

Tess took advantage of Hallie’s absence to look around the kitchen, sweeping her gaze from the refrigerator covered with family photographs to the white tile counter neatly arranged with baskets and appliances. The sunny yellow walls and floral wallpaper border lent the room an airy cheerfulness. The personal touches, like the cross-stitched picture of two white doves that declared Brian and Hallie’s wedding date under the words “United in Love,” gave the room warmth and spoke of the love Tess could feel within the walls of their home like a living presence.

Squinting, she examined the photos on the refrigerator more closely. She spotted a picture of Rebecca, mugging for the camera in her swimsuit with a sultry pose. Justin’s sister had been a beautiful young woman.

Next she focused on a picture of Justin, wearing his black Stetson and grinning broadly while his arm curled around the shoulders of a dark-haired woman she assumed was Amy. Jealousy plucked at her before she thought of the affection she saw reflected in Justin’s eyes whenever he looked her way.

Besides, she had no right to feel any possessiveness toward Justin. Not when she knew she had to let him go his way, eventually.

“What!” she heard Brian shout.

Turning from the photos, she focused on the conversation from the next room.

“Every officer of the law in Texas has heard of Randall Sinclair! He’s dirtier than mud and twice as slick! The state attorney’s office has been trying to find something they can make stick to him for years. Word is he’s involved with organized crime. And you’re sleeping with his wife? Have you lost your mind?”

“Would you keep your voice down?” Justin warned. “And she’s
not
his wife!”

“Justin, do you have any idea what you’ve gotten yourself into? Do you realize Tess could have the information needed to put this man behind bars?” A thread of excitement tinged Brian’s tone.

Icy dread trickled through Tess when she realized where their conversation was headed. Involving herself in criminal proceedings against Randall terrified her. Helping the authorities convict Randall would be suicide. All she wanted was a new life, her freedom, a chance to be happy again. But would she ever be happy without Justin in her life?

Somewhere in her mind, something clicked. All the seeds of hope Justin had planted twined their roots around her heart. Her need to escape Randall’s injustice and malignancy had started her on this treacherous journey, and only faithfulness to her conscience could bring her the resolution she craved. The future she wanted included Justin. But before she could even think of spending her life with Justin, she had to do whatever it took to truly free herself of Randall. Not just the physical danger, but his emotional tyranny, as well. She would never have peace of mind if she didn’t seek justice for Angela’s death. She could never live with herself if she condoned Randall’s evil with her silence.

Justin believed she had a core of goodness and strength within her. Somehow, she had to find that strength and courage to fight Randall. Could she find the woman inside her that Justin saw, a woman with merit, self-respect and dignity?

The promise of Justin’s love and support gave her all the reason she needed to search her soul and choose her course of action.

The Tess whom Randall had demeaned and abused would give up. But the Tess whom Justin had nourished and cherished had to fight for her freedom and claim the right to hold her head high.

“If you could convince her to testify for the grand jury,” Brian said in the next room.

“Haven’t you been listening to me?” Justin’s voice rose almost an octave, due to his frustration. “The man tried to kill us! Last time I checked that was reason enough to put him behind bars!”

“You have to call the police, Justin.”

“Tess thinks Sinclair’s got people on his payroll in the police department. She’s scared stiff, and I don’t blame her. The man’s unstable, unreasonable. What we need first is a place for her to hide.”

“So you came here? Justin, he’s already sent men to Mama and Dad’s! You think they won’t be here next?”

Tess shivered at the possibility.

“Maybe so. I don’t know.” Justin spoke more quietly now, and Tess had to strain to hear. “If so, tell them you haven’t seen us. We’ll leave tonight if you want, but we need money. And wheels. Randall’s crazy, and he’s not going to give up looking for her. You saw the bruises on her neck, didn’t you? He tried to choke her to death. Now tell me, how am I supposed to walk away from that? Even if I wasn’t involved with her, how could I, in good conscience, turn my back, knowing she was in danger? I have to protect her, and not just because of Becca.”

A long silence followed before Brian said, “All right, you’ve made your point. The first thing we should do is get rid of that Jag. It’s a big red flag. I’ll handle that. You’re in no shape to run around scuttling cars. I can loan you some money, but you’re going to have to figure out how to make ends meet when that money runs out. How are you going to survive? How long will it take to find her a safe cover?”

“I don’t know.”

“For God’s sake, Justin. For once, you’ve got to think things through. How long are you going to hide out? What happens if Sinclair finds you?”

“I was hoping you could help us get a restraining order. It’s not much, but it’s a start.”

“Here we are,” Hallie said, returning with a bottle of alcohol and a few other first-aid items. “I’ll have you fixed up in a jiffy.”

She sat down and unscrewed the top from the rubbing alcohol. “Tess? What’s wrong? You look ready to pass out.”

“I can’t believe the nightmare my life is. I hate myself for getting Justin involved. And now you.” Tess put her head down on the table, burying her face in the crook of one arm while Hallie doctored the other.

“When I finish this, why don’t you lie down in the guest room. You look like you could use a little rest.”