Chasing Circumstance (3 page)

“No, and if I ever do, you would be the last to know.  Now, if you would excuse me, I have more pressing business to attend to.  Have a nice weekend.”  I continued on with my walk, leaving him standing there dumbfounded.

My week had been so busy that I had fallen behind in my household duties.  Laundry overflowed from the hamper into the bathroom, dirty dishes were stacked next to the sink waiting for their journey through the dishwasher and the hardwood floors in my apartment looked almost as if they were carpeted.  Yep, it was time to clean… Just not tonight.  Tonight called for a bottle of good wine, a box of my favorite chocolates, a sappy movie and some time in front of my computer working on my blog.

The sad thing was that my undiagnosed OCD would not allow for any of this until I cleaned.  Dammit!  Why couldn’t I just put on blinders and look past the clutter and dust for one more night?

I changed my work clothes and put on an old pair of jeans and a t-shirt.  Tying my hair up in a ponytail, I set about to clean up the mess I had let go for too long.  Okay, maybe I didn’t have OCD because if that were the case, I wouldn’t have let it get this bad to begin with.  There was just no stopping me at this point.

I loaded 5 jazz CDs into my stereo and cranked up the music.  I then started a load of laundry, took care of the dishes and vacuumed, swept and mopped my floors.  After putting the last load of laundry into the dryer, I showered and wrapped up in a towel.  I loved living alone… Clothing was optional.

Pulling the final load of laundry out of the dryer, I folded them and put them away.  There, all caught up for another week or two.  Now, where was that bottle of wine and box of chocolates?

Finding my way to the couch, I wrapped up in my favorite blanket and started the DVD player.  The Notebook always brought me to such a deep, emotional place.  It represented the love I had been searching for my entire adult life. 

Damn, forgetting to grab a box of tissues, I wiped my tears and snot on my sleeve.  After finishing the second bottle of wine, I made my way to my computer.  The urge to write would not allow me to rest until I put this sentiment into words.

I signed into my blog and noticed I now had over three hundred followers… Nice!  I answered the comments left by my readers and went on to compose a new blog entry.

“Dear You,

Why do you do this to yourself?  You know those types of relationships only happen in romance novels and movies, and yet you subjugate yourself to these fantasies of non-existent love. 

When do we as women learn to look past the fairytales we are told as young girls and into the realness of what love truly is?  There is no knight in shining armor, no true love’s kiss to wake us from slumber and no seven little men to protect us from life’s woes. 

Love is a fallacy shoved down our throats by greeting card companies and jewelry stores.  The only true, unconditional love in this world is that which is shared between a parent and their child. 

I don’t remember experiencing that love.  Maybe that is why I find myself on this unending quest of finding the good in people.  Do I blind myself to the realness of who they are?

I no longer believe in “one day”, “someday” or “when the time is right”.  Those words have no place and no value in my world.  They are but pretty pictures painted with the imagination of a child’s whimsy.

So tonight, dear readers, I leave you with this question…

What is your definition of love?

~Amia”

CHAPTER THREE

“What?  Scotland?  Why me?”  I sat across the desk from Jo.

“You’re my number one gal.  I need you on this one.  You don’t have to see Stuart, just go and make the presentation to Noraprise.”  Jo tapped her pen against her cheek.

“But… But he works for them.  How am I going to avoid him?  He’s their campaign manager for crying out loud!”  I knew Jo was up to something.  There were plenty of other people that could have handled this.

“Then show him what the fuck he’s missing.”  Yep, there it was.  Jo knew I needed closure and she was making sure I had it.  Feeling a bit frustrated because, as usual, Jo sprung this on me without discussion, I stood up and began to pace.

“When do I leave?”  I knew there was no getting out of this.

“Tomorrow morning, you’re on the 10:30 flight out of LaGuardia.  Now, go home, pack your sexiest lingerie, rest up and be ready to knock his dick in the dirt.”  I laughed to myself as I thought, ‘Jo always has such a way with words’.  As she turned away from me and busied herself with something on her computer, I stopped in front of her desk.

“I suppose there is no arguing this with you, is there?”  I had to at least try.

“Nope, as I said before; you’re my number one gal, and I need you on this.  Plus, YOU need this, so be a good girl and do as you’re told.”  Jo winked at me, stood up and hugged me.  “Here, take this.  It’s a little something for the trip.”

I accepted the envelope from her, kissed her on the cheek, and left.  This was going to be one of the most difficult things I had ever done, but I knew I had no choice in the matter because Jo always got what she wanted.  That’s why she was the boss.

I waited to open the envelope until I got home.  Throwing my bags on the floor, I sat on the couch and opened it.  I was sure it was spending money for the trip.

I was mistaken.  It was a gift card to Neiman Marcus in the amount of five thousand dollars!  Holy shit!  There was also a note from Jo.

“My dearest Amia,

I want my fun loving friend back; the one that has never given up on finding her one true love.  Use this to get something special and find yourself again.  Show Stuart what he gave up.  Show him what he could have had in you.   Show him just how much love you have to offer and how much of a lady you are.  Oh, did I forget to mention you will be attending a ball?  Noraprise is throwing it to announce their newest software release.  It is the night before your meeting with them.  Enjoy yourself, and don’t hate me too much.

Love you much,

Jo.”

A ball?  Was she fucking kidding me?  Jo was lucky I loved her so much.  Now I had to get dressed up and go shopping.  One did not walk into Neiman Marcus in street clothes to shop for a ball gown.

After getting dressed, I walked outside and flagged down a taxi.  Giving the driver directions to my destination, I sat back in the seat and thought of the week in front of me.  I wasn’t sure how I would pull it off, but I knew I had to.  Not only was Jo counting on me, but my broken heart was as well. 

I jumped back into reality as the taxi pulled up in front of Neiman Marcus.  Paying the driver, I stepped onto the sidewalk and stared at the department store.  Taking a deep breath, I opened the doors and walked in. 

Immediately, I could smell the perfume counter.  It was my first stop.  I had always wanted a signature scent and it was time for me to have one.  Choosing one of the more sweet and innocent scents, I paid for my purchase and headed toward the clothing department.  I had never spent three hundred dollars as easily as I had on my perfume. 

Two hours, and five gowns later, I ended up choosing a David Meister Signature gown.  It had a one-shoulder neckline with a sleeveless left arm and a cutout detail on the shoulder.  The pleated skirt fell from the waist to the floor and flowed beautifully.  It was teal with a black leaf design printed on tulle, and it made me feel like a princess. 

The attendant helped me to find the perfect shoes as well.  They were Fendi, Aurora, strappy crystal, suede sandals with six inch heels and an open toe.  There were crystal accents over the opening at the top of the shoe and on the straps that wrapped around my ankle. 

I almost fainted when I checked out and was told the final amount after adding a pair of earrings and a necklace to the ensemble… $5,342.71.  Okay, so I spent a bit more than the gift card allowance, but it was completely worth it.

When I arrived home, I put on my gown, shoes and jewelry, took a picture and sent it to Jo.  Since she was the one that bankrolled the shopping excursion, I thought she should see the beautiful butterfly that had emerged from her cocoon.

“You look A-Fucking-Mazing!”  Jo’s text said it all.

I carefully packed my gown and the accoutrements I had purchased to go with it.  Scanning my closet, I chose seven more outfits for my five day trip and placed them in the suitcase as well.

“Pack your sexiest lingerie.”  Jo’s words echoed through my brain.  “FINE!”  I answered her out loud, though I knew she couldn’t hear me.  I searched through my dresser drawers and chose a pink and black silk corset with matching panties and stockings.  If it were to come down to it, I was sure this outfit would do the trick.

A glass of wine, a hot bubble bath, and soft music were the perfect ending to my day.  I crawled into bed and felt the silkiness of the sheets against my freshly shaved skin. Memories of Stuart permeated my thoughts as I drifted off to sleep.

I awoke the next morning before the alarm sounded.  Of course, my before bed thoughts caused me to dream sweet, sensual dreams of Stuart.  Stupid Jo!  Thanks for putting those thoughts in my head.

Though I was nervous about meeting Stuart and what would come of that, I was excited for the trip.  It had been a couple of years since I had traveled out of the country.  The last excursion had been a fun-filled, weeklong trip with Jo to the Bahamas.  This would be my first time traveling outside the country by myself.

Although I had woken up early, I still rushed around completing all of my pre-trip tasks before I had to leave.  I watered my plants; made sure the windows were locked, showered, dressed, grabbed my bags, and ran downstairs just in time to hail a passing cab. 

I offered the driver a large tip if he got me to the airport on time.  Thankfully, he did just that.  Albeit, I do believe he broke quite a few traffic laws while fulfilling my request.  When we stopped in front of the airport, I paid the fare plus an extra fifty bucks as a tip.  It was a good thing Jo paid me so well. 

Once I made it through the security check points, I found my way to the gate and waited to be called to board the plane.  I was a bit surprised there weren’t a lot of people on the flight and wondered how many people actually traveled from New York to Scotland every year.  Hearing the attendant call the seat numbers that my ticket was a part of, I shrugged off the thought, stood, gathered my carryon luggage, and boarded the flight.

Jo had gone all out for me on this trip and had booked me a first class ticket on the company’s dime. 

It was quiet and spacious, so I took full advantage of it.  As I snuggled into my seat, my mind raced with thoughts of Stuart.  Every time I closed my eyes, I saw his smile, heard his laugh and whispered words of, ‘I love you, Amia.’  Tears flowed down my cheeks as I fell into a deep slumber, only to awake as the plane was landing in Glasgow.

Making my way through customs, I walked to the front of the airport to find a taxi.  As I approached the doors, I saw a driver holding a sign with my name on it.  “Thank you, Jo.”  I mumbled the words through my smile.  She really was something special.

The driver took my luggage, introduced himself to me and explained that Jo had hired a limousine and driver for me for the entire trip.  I felt completely spoiled.

As he opened the door for me I asked, “Jeffrey?  I seemed to have misplaced my trip itinerary.  Do you happen to know where my hotel is?”

“Yes, Ma’am, leave it to me; I’ll get you there.”  He smiled as he closed the door.  A couple of minutes later and we were on our way.

We pulled up in front of the Blythswood Square hotel.  It was beyond impressive.  I knew that Jo enjoyed the finer things in life but I was a simple woman.  I did, however, decide to indulge myself on this trip.  Especially since the company was paying for it.

After I checked in, I was shown to a private elevator that opened to the penthouse suite.  As I entered the room, the bellhop sat my luggage down; I tipped him and shut the door.  Turning, I just stared at the space in front of me.  It was an entire floor of the hotel and was stunningly beautiful with modern décor set in a splendid, landmark building.  To the right sat a full kitchen with all of the amenities.  There was a side by side refrigerator with a matching stainless steel stove and sink set in a marble countertop.  Connected to the kitchen through a large stone covered archway was a formal dining room with a gigantic walnut table and eight matching chairs.  The Victorian decorated living area flanked both rooms, and to the left of that was the door that led into the master suite.  Contemporary furnishings filled the room to include a king sized bed set against a black velvet, tufted headboard and matching end tables at each side of the bed.  Daylight cascaded through the magnificent glass French doors that led out to a balcony.  The history was extremely apparent as I stepped out onto the private terrace area.  I was here… I was finally here.

I went back into the room and called Jo.  “Hi and thank you so much for the first class accommodations.  I feel altogether spoiled.”  I couldn’t hold back my excitement even if someone had paid me.

“You deserve the indulgence.  Enjoy it.  You’ve earned it.”  Jo sounded as if I had woken her.

“I’m sorry.  I forgot about the time difference.  I’ll let you get back to sleep and will call you later.  Love you!”  I hung up the phone before she could answer me.

What to do now?  I spun around with my arms out, just enjoying the moment.  I felt like a little girl playing princess in a castle.

A bath!  Yes, a bath would do nicely.  I phoned room service and asked for their nicest bottle of sweet, red wine.   It was promptly delivered.  Once again, I tipped the gentleman that brought it and walked into the bathroom.

It was absolutely glorious!  There was an elegant dressing table next to the sink and a handcrafted Spanish marble bathtub.  Turning on the faucet, I sat at the edge of the tub and just watched the water flow over the soft lines of the stone.  It was as if I were witnessing the creation of an exquisite piece of living art.  Rousing myself from the thought, I gathered the luxurious towels, set them next to the bath, turned on the stereo, and poured myself a glass of wine. 

Stepping out of my travel clothes, I slid into the hot waters that awaited me.  I allowed them to wash away my thoughts as I sipped my wine and listened to the soft music that played through the surround sound speakers.  If there were such thing as heaven, this was it.

Drinking wine in a hot bath after such a long journey proved to be a silly choice.  I woke to cold water and wrinkly skin after falling asleep for almost two hours.  Had the temperature not gotten cold, I probably would have slept much longer.

Chilled from the coolness of the bath, my teeth chattered as I wrapped up in one of the warm, soft towels.  I twisted another around my hair and looked into the mirror.  I looked ten years younger.  “Must be something in the water.”  Smiling, I walked into the bedroom and reclined on the plushest bed I had ever felt.  The duvet hugged me into its warmth, and I quickly fell asleep once again.

Waking refreshed and feeling like a new woman, I put on one of the robes provided and made myself a pot of coffee.  I sat at the table in the dining room and waited for it to finish brewing.  It smelled phenomenal with a strong hint of hazelnut.

Retrieving a cup of coffee, I wandered out to the terrace once again.  The sun was just starting its descent below the chimney tops of Glasgow.  The soft oranges and reds of the sunset reminded me of pictures that Stuart had shared with me.  A heavy sigh escaped my throat as I sat there alone, enjoying what he and I were supposed to experience together.  Tears flowed from my eyes at the thought.

I sat there until the sun disappeared into the night sky.  The sounds of the city changed around me.  It went from the growl of cars traveling along its busy streets to the soft echoes of music filtering out from the many pubs and restaurants that lined the roads below me. 

Deciding to stop wallowing in the pains of the past, I dressed and headed out for dinner.  My car and driver were called to meet me at the front door and we were off once again.  I thought of what it would be like to accidentally run into Stuart, but the thought quickly left my mind when I saw the nightlife before me.  There were people lined up waiting to get into dance clubs, outdoor cafes overflowed with customers, and couples walked hand in hand down the street as if they hadn’t a care in the world. 

I asked Jeffrey to take me to the best restaurant in the area.  Half an hour later, we arrived at Martin Wishart at Loch Lomond in Balloch.  It was situated inside a resort hotel and set against a breathtaking landscape.  The shadows of the mountains, cast by the moonlight, danced across the water’s edge as the stars twinkled their mirrored images across the stillness of the lake.

After being seated and ordering a bottle of their finest wine, I looked at the menu to make my selection.  I couldn’t decide what I was in the mood for so I went all out.  After all, I was finally in Scotland and wanted to experience everything this magical place had to offer.  I ordered razor clams topped with cauliflower cream sauce, king oyster mushrooms with sauce grand veneur that was made by reducing red wine, and lemon curd with passion fruit jelly.