Chasing Shadows (41 page)

Body stiffening, Damien filled in, “He was warning you off.”

She nodded grimly. “I don’t know why he suspects me.” She stopped, remembering what Damien had said about Cadius having eyes everywhere. Her shoulders stooped. “No, I guess I do, since you told me not to mess with him.” She swallowed, hating to admit she had involved Damien when all he had done was try to protect her.

“Then what?” he prodded, sensing more.

Through the slits in her mask, her eyes shifted warily over the closest guests, and she leaned in. “I think Cadius was threatening you too.” His brows lifted, and she felt a tad embarrassed admitting the rest of her story. “He kept talking about how the buck she was with would follow her anywhere, and that he would either be caught and killed because of the doe, or her body would warn him to stay away.”

Damien’s hands had turned to fists at his sides, and a vein was pulsing on his neck. She wanted to say that maybe Cadius wasn’t serious, or perhaps she had read into the whole unsettling diatribe. But the look in his eyes, the icy, calculated way he spoke, told her he meant every word and would follow through if she didn’t back off.

“I didn’t think I tipped him off last night,” she rushed on. “And I didn’t mean to involve you. If I could go back, I’d shut up and—”

He took her hand, brows knitting in a grimace. “Sarah, stop.” She bit her lip to keep from rambling more apologies. His voice was diplomatic, but he looked troubled. “I can protect myself. I only wish that—that I could
do
something.”

Despite the seriousness of their conversation, Sarah felt her lips pull gently at his protective side coming out. “You’ve done so much already.”

He appeared surprised, and then the tension in his shoulders eased. “It’s possible he was only trying to scare you, but I’ll do my utmost to keep you out of his snare. But let us forget it this evening; we could both do with a distraction.”

Sarah nodded eagerly, and his gaze roved over their surroundings. “I so hate these things. It is nothing but politics and appearing as though you belong. It’s such a—”

“A lie?” she filled in when he faltered.

“Exactly.” His eyes lit with an idea. Raising his brow in challenge, Damien slipped his mask back in place and held out his elbow, shooting her a cheeky grin. “May I accompany the lady for a dance?”

She wanted to accept, to follow him into the center of the room and lose herself in the dance, but she hesitated. Although she and Will had only danced together once, Sarah wasn’t sure she could try to revive that feeling with someone else. If she started making new memories, she felt it would somehow betray Will’s memory and the picture of him that night. She feared she had already lost him, and she didn’t think it was right to replace those special moments.

Then she caught the nervous expectancy on Damien’s face and knew he would be thoroughly disappointed if she turned him down. She couldn’t explain to him what was eating at her, and it wouldn’t be fair if she wandered around like a zombie for the rest of the night, acting like he was intentionally trying to replace Will.

Sarah reminded herself that Damien wasn’t attempting to erase anything, but was trying to make new memories with her. He was here and he was a friend, and she wasn’t going to be the reason that tonight turned out to be a drag for him.

Taking his arm, she finally pulled a smile, which Damien took as a yes. He escorted her away from the bulk of bodies and toward the center of the room, where a few couples were dancing to the sounds of the lyre and flute and stringed instruments. Damien grabbed her hand and stepped away from her, holding her at arm’s length. He walked around her, his face serious and his posture regal, forcing her to spin in a slow circle.

This elicited a genuine laugh of surprise from her. She knew he could be mischievous and a bit of a jokester, but she had only seen his playful side when they were alone. Maybe he sensed that she needed cheering up, because her laughter only seemed to encourage him.

Damien kept his expression serious and stared past her as he pulled her in, placing his hand on the small of her back. Holding her close, he swished their bodies from side to side with quick, jerky movements, twirling them in a tight circle that was a far cry from the practiced movements of the other dancers. Somehow he managed to look graceful and in control when he did it, but Sarah was sure she looked like an awkward, long-legged chicken stumbling along on the dance floor with the regal lord. She tried to stiffen her shoulders, but Damien was so comically stoic that her chest shook with the effort to silence her laughter and kept her from gaining any semblance of control over where she was thrown.

“Please, my lady, you’re interfering with my focus,” Damien chided in an exasperated tone. He was all seriousness, his eyes fixed on something over her head as he pumped their joined hands up and down. It was a surprise that neither of their masks went flying off into the crowd, though Damien’s now sat askew on his nose.

Sarah bit her lip but couldn’t cover the laugh that she choked on, finding it difficult to believe that he didn’t realize how ridiculous they appeared. The corner of his mouth twitched, hinting that he did, indeed, realize how absurd they must look. But somehow he still managed to keep the superior expression on his face.

For a moment she contemplated dipping
him
to turn the tables, but she wasn’t sure she could manage it. Instead, she asked in a husky voice, “Where did you learn to dance so magnificently, my lord?” and wiggled her eyebrows in rapid succession. Damien glanced down long enough to catch her look, and his stoic mask cracked as he laughed.

“Pardon me?” They stopped and turned toward the young man who had addressed Damien. The woman he had been dancing with earlier was presently being whisked off by another partner, and it seemed this young man wasn’t quite ready to leave the dance floor.

Sarah shot her own partner a questioning glance, feeling uncertain about dancing with a masked stranger. But Damien nodded to her, catching sight of someone across the room. “Why don’t you keep dancing? I see someone I need to speak with before they depart.” He met her eyes, searching. Discreetly, he asked, “Do you mind?”

She shook her head because she didn’t know what else to say and tried not to watch as he moved away from the dancers, straightening the mask on his face. She forced a congenial smile for her new partner and mechanically accepted his hand, allowing herself to be twirled about the room. Racking her brain for some form of small talk, Sarah realized that he hadn’t attempted to strike up a conversation, either, and he didn’t look interested in doing so.

Sarah bit her lip and focused on a distant spot across the room, counting the seconds until the dance ended. Her wandering sight hitched each time it caught on Damien standing near the wall with an older man and his wife. He tried to look engaged in the man’s ramblings and enthusiastic gestures, but Sarah could see that between the holes in his mask, Damien’s eyes roved disinterestedly over the room, as if in search of escape.

His gaze caught on her as she craned her neck to see around her partner. Damien’s mouth tipped in a tight-lipped grin before he sobered and turned back to his companions, nodding his head over something he clearly had not heard.

Sarah grinned to herself, knowing that neither one of them really wanted to be here. Since her silent partner’s eyes were elsewhere, she allowed her gaze to sweep over the room again, taking in the tables along every wall heavy-laden with trays of delicacies and goblets filled to the brim with honeyed mead and wine. Clippings of spruce and red ribbons decorated the tables and were draped here and there around the room, she noticed as her sight moved to take in the guests.

Conversing with a small group of noblewomen near the dance floor stood the queen, looking regal in her burgundy gown with her hair piled elegantly at the back of her head. The heavily-plumed mask that covered her eyes was fastened to a delicate stem that the queen clutched in her hand. When she found Sarah’s gaze, her face brightened, and she lowered her mask to smile warmly at Sarah before her partner spun her around.

Her steps faltered when she caught stormy gray eyes watching her. Standing at Prince Adrian’s side, Cadius stared back at her from the crowd, his steely gaze narrowing almost imperceptibly when he realized he’d caught her attention. Sarah returned his steady gaze, which was easy to do considering he wore no mask, though her stare was uneasy over the cold look in his eyes. His disturbing, magnetizing gaze made her feel rooted to the ground even as her partner guided her round and round the dance floor. Though he looked faintly amused, the expression on Cadius’ face chilled her.

Lips tipping mockingly, his face a veil of amusement at the same time his eyes relayed his cold disdain of her, Cadius raised his goblet in salute before he turned back to the conversation between the prince and the men around them. Sarah wasn’t sure if she was supposed to read into the gesture or not, but the silent near-encounter left her feeling shaken and intimidated. Perhaps that had been his intent all along.

The weight of her partner’s arms left her for a brief moment as he spun her freely, and Sarah nearly lost her balance at the surprising move. But his hands quickly settled on her waist to steady her, pulling her close. “Do you mind if I cut in?”

She glanced up sharply, ready to question his friendliness, and felt her heart stop for several beats before restarting in overdrive.

Her former partner’s disgruntled face was somewhere in the crowd, but he soon faded from her line of sight. Sarah stared up in utter shock at the man holding her, feeling like she was seeing a ghost. This wasn’t right—why was he dancing with her? Her knees buckled under the weight of her surprise, and she had to grip his sleeves to keep from collapsing. His hold on her waist tightened to keep her upright.

“Easy,” Will murmured, pulling her against him.

She shook her head in a daze. “What are—You can’t—” Her eyes darted nervously about the enormous room, scanning the faces for any sign of recognition, but not one seemed to have noticed Will’s sudden presence or the fact that he was underdressed in his boots and crisp white shirt. He’d had plenty of practice in disappearing, and he seemed to take advantage of that skill now.

Swallowing, she turned back to him and managed to croak, “I thought you were dead.”

His expression was grim. “I did, too.” Blue eyes roved her face. Even beneath his simple black mask, he looked tired, his features appearing paler than usual against the dark shadow of stubble on his cheeks. There was a nick on his temple that hadn’t been there before.

Will shook his head abruptly, setting that stubborn lock of hair in motion across his forehead. Bending down so that his lips brushed her ear when he spoke, he whispered, “Follow me when it’s safe.” Then he was gone, disappearing into the crowd.

Sarah staggered in the absence of his steadying arms. She rooted her feet to the ground so she could keep track of him, a full head taller than most, as he moved lithely through the throng of guests. He stopped just outside the dark passage, one she remembered well from the last ball they had attended together. His gaze met hers meaningfully before he ducked inside.

The air was suddenly suffocating in the wake of her shock over seeing Will again. Had his arms really been around her a moment ago? Was he truly alive? The dancers twirled around her unmoving form, and her stillness was drawing the attention of a few nearby. Had they seen him, too? But even if they hadn’t, she knew he’d been there.

Sarah blinked. He was
alive
!

She looked over her shoulder at Damien, whose back was to her at that moment as he conversed with a small group of gentlemen. Slowly breathing out the numbers until she reached ten, she told her feet to move and followed Will’s ghost.

~Chapter 36~

Though two torches were lit further down the hall on the right, it was mostly dark just inside the archway. Sarah struggled to make out any movement in the darkness, but she could barely discern the wall a few feet in front of her face.

Light shifted in the stairwell on the right, drawing her attention. She knew that the passage leading down would eventually dead end in the dungeons, but she forgot all this when Will stepped out into the muted light. She made her way over in a daze, and he took her hands when she was close and pulled her down onto the steps, hiding them from view.

Before she could process his solid hold, and very
real
presence, he had her in his arms and was holding her like he wouldn’t let go. Sarah hugged him back, mechanically at first as she tried to get past her initial shock, and then she tightened her grip, closing her eyes as she clung to the back of his shirt. Her mind seemed to have purged itself of all tangible thoughts to make way for the realization that he wasn’t dead.

Despite the mask in her way, she buried her face in his chest and smiled as he held her in a way she had thought would never again be possible. She’d never been so happy to be proven wrong.

Her smile faded when she thought about how she had almost lost him. “You didn’t come,” she mumbled against his shirt, the words muffled. But Will seemed to understand as he stroked the hair back from her face. She pressed her cheek to his chest and sighed. “When Damien said that two bodies were discovered in the river, I assumed the worst.”

Will’s hold tightened, and he rested his chin on top of her head. “I went to see Robert earlier, and he told me what you’d discussed. I came straight away. I’m sorry I wasn’t here, that I put you through all of this.”

She pulled back to see him, loosening his hold, though he didn’t drop his arms completely. He must have discarded his mask in the hall, because it was nowhere to be seen. “I don’t care about that. It’s probably a good thing you didn’t show, because the more time I had to think about it, the more I realized that it was a stupid plan. I was just running away because I couldn’t find another solution.” Shaking her head, Sarah gave a short, mirthless laugh. “But that wouldn’t solve anything, and you were right—I see now that I
would
have regretted it. And I’m sorry I tried to drag you into it. That wasn’t fair.”

Removing one hand from around her waist, Will reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “I would do anything for you if I thought it was right.” Shadows played across his face, and a sliver of light sliced across his dark eyes, reflecting off the circle of lighter blue around the edges of the iris that she had never noticed before. He must have known the light was on him, but he made no effort to conceal his emotions, which were bright and palpable in his intense indigo gaze.

Hesitantly, Will reached up and loosened the ribbons at the back of her head, and with careful fingers, he slowly slid the mask up and settled it on her hair. He smiled into her eyes. “That’s better.”

Sarah choked out a laugh past the sudden tears that filled her throat. She swallowed hard, not wanting to cry during their reunion, even if it was in sheer relief. Blinking, she said, “But you’re here now, and I’m so relieved that it wasn’t you who went over the falls.” Realizing how callous that sounded, she winced, remembering that two people were still dead. She wanted to say more, but overwhelming emotions tightened her chest and it was all she could do to keep from succumbing to the tears.

“But I did,” he whispered, surprising her.    

Sarah leaned back another inch, breaking his hold. Her eyes landed on the cut near his hairline. “But it couldn’t have been you; I saw the bodies. There’s no way—” She gaped at him. “Wait, were you
faking
? Because I swear, if you made me go through all that and you were still alive, I’ll kill you again myself.”

Shaking his head, he answered, “No, it wasn’t me. I mean, I went over the falls, but—” Will scrubbed a hand over his jaw, the fresh stubble quietly rasping.

He sucked in a breath. “I was coming to meet you when I realized that someone was following me, posing as the Shadow. After what you told me about the imposter in the castle, I knew I couldn’t let him go.”

Sarah’s eyes widened in surprise and alarm. She had to clench her teeth together to keep from speaking as she waited for him to go on. He was staring at the wall over her shoulder, as though watching the scene play out before him. “I chased him to the falls to confront him, but it was Jade who revealed herself.”

Sarah was completely baffled. And angry. “So she’s the one who broke in?
She
killed Edith?”

He shook his head. “I assumed the same thing, but it wasn’t her; she was protecting someone, but I couldn’t get her to say who. We argued, and Jade started to back up . . . She slipped,” he said finally, avoiding Sarah’s eyes. His throat worked as he swallowed. “I managed to grab her arm, but then we both went over. When I broke the surface, I searched for her in the water, but the river was so dark and cold. . . . I couldn’t find her.” His voice faded with regret, eyes searching hers uncertainly—perhaps for a sign that it wasn’t his fault and everything would be all right. Sarah realized she had tried to find the same security in him, and for the first time she wondered if they were looking in the wrong places.

Will cleared his throat and continued. “I managed to swim to the rocks just before I passed out. When I came to, there were patrol guards everywhere, and a man’s body had washed up nearby. I overheard one of the patrolmen say that they had found a woman’s body, and I knew they would continue searching.” He looked away, eyes glistening. “I had to get out of there, and somehow I made it to my uncle’s house. I’ve been there recuperating since.”

Sarah wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on tiptoe so she could rest her cheek against his shoulder. She whispered, “I don’t know what else to say except that I’m so sorry.” For the fact he had nearly died and gone through that traumatic ordeal, that Jade was dead—though she was hardly as broken up about that as she knew she ought to be and felt a stab of remorse for her callousness. And she was sorry that he would live with the unrealistic guilt of being unable to find her. She was sorry for everything.

He returned her hold with a strangling grip of his own. After a long moment of silence, she pulled back, realization dawning. “If the woman was Jade, then who was the man who washed up?”

Frowning, Will said, “I don’t believe you met him, but his name was John.” She didn’t recognize the name until he added, “He worked for Dunlivey back when he controlled the guard.”

Sarah’s eyes widened in shock. Images of a young, meek man sitting beside Gabriel that first day she had been dropped into the forest flooded her mind. “I do remember him.” Her words seemed to take Will by surprise. “That day when you and I first met when the guards were chasing me? He was there—he was with Gabriel.” She paused thoughtfully. “Do you think it’s possible that he was involved in whatever went on with the king’s death?”

His brows drew together. “How do you mean?”

Sarah felt her defenses come down for the first time in days, knowing she could say what was on her mind with him. “It just seems kind of odd that everyone’s being eliminated in one way or another right now, and that’s the only common theme that I can think of. I mean, the physician’s stuck in prison because he believes Cadius killed his brother, though he won’t really say it, and now John winds up dead—”

“Who told you the royal physician is suspicious?” Will cut in, sounding at once doubtful and curious.

“. . . Uh, he did.”

His brows shot up at that. “You spoke with him? When?”

Sarah hesitated. He wouldn’t like her answer, but she knew she had to speak truthfully. “This morning,” she said, drawing out her vowels like speaking slowly might somehow confuse or distract him.

Eyes widening, Will asked in disbelief, “In the
dungeons
?”

She winced, knowing at the time that it hadn’t been the smartest choice to go down there alone. “Yes.” She held up her hands in defense, sensing his overly protective side surfacing. “But before you freak out, let me just say that I was already down there to see the alchemist and just wanted to ask the physician why he stabbed Damien. I knew it was dangerous at the time, especially since Malcolm is obviously on someone’s radar, but I wasn’t sure if I would get another chance to talk with him.”

Okay, that was a weak argument,
she thought with a frown. She tried to amend it by saying, “But at least now we know that even the doctor who worked on the king thought that his health had been tampered with, so that’s something.”

Will was shaking his head at the ground, looking like he didn’t know what to do with her. “I know your meeting was fruitful, but you keep putting yourself in harm’s way. How am I supposed to protect you?” he murmured, almost to himself.

“I had to do it myself, because you weren’t there,” she reminded him gently. His eyes met hers, softening. It used to ruffle her feathers the instant he started babying her, which she later realized was really just her overly sensitive view of him keeping her from harm. She was beginning to learn to not take offense so easily when he became protective. Losing as many people as he had in his life, Sarah understood why he wanted to keep those he care for out of trouble, though sometimes it
was
a little unreasonable and overbearing.

Will released a pent-up breath, his lips softening into a smile that was tinged with pain around the corners of his mouth. “Sometimes I forget how strong and independent you are. You are incredibly brave.”

Now that was a silly idea! Sarah thought about all the times she had run thoughtlessly into a passage and then cowered in the darkness. She said on a laugh, “Foolhardy is more like it. You’re the one who fearlessly scales the castle walls and slays dragons.
You’re
the brave hero in the story.”

Will shook his head. “I’m not as brave as I seem—I’m constantly afraid of losing the people in my life.” He fingered one of her curls idly, and his eyes met hers in question. “Does my fear make me a hero?”

One of her favorite quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson popped into her head, and she recited it aloud, grinning at how apt it was. “‘A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer.’”

He smiled at the words and then looked suddenly thoughtful. “I used to think that heroism was in man’s nature, that in every man there is a little goodness and heroic bravery. But I’ve seen enough of the world to wonder if that’s true.” He grinned sardonically. “And sometimes I fear my powers are not enough to make a hero of me.”

Taking his hand, Sarah gave his work-calloused palm a gentle squeeze. “It’s free will.” She had his attention now. “It isn’t the power a hero is given, but the path he chooses to take that really defines him. Heroes are born when an ordinary man makes one of himself by his will to fight. And you’ve fought for justice for years.”

Will smiled down at her, an expression of amazement on his face. She could tell the words had impacted him, but he didn’t add anything. Maybe he didn’t need to.

Suddenly, a portion of her conversation with Malcolm returned to her, and Sarah swallowed. “Now that you’re here,” she began, “maybe you can help me investigate the room where the physician attacked Damien.” She could tell that was the last thing he had expected her to say. “It’s just that when I spoke with Malcolm, he said that something was amiss and that we should go back. I thought it might be worth checking out.”

Will considered this and then nodded. “It might be too conspicuous tonight with so many guests in attendance. What about tomorrow?”

“Perfect!” She smiled to herself. The team was back together again. “When should we meet? And where should we meet?”

“I’ll find you.”

“Are you sure you can find me? It’s a big castle. Maybe your sleuthing skills are getting rusty,” she teased, slightly amazed that they were bantering again.

Will’s lips curved in an incredibly tender smile. “I will always find you.” Her mouth went dry, and she didn’t know what to say to that. She wasn’t used to him expressing his feelings so openly, and she
definitely
wasn’t sure how to handle him looking at her like that. Maybe it was his brush with death that made him realize he didn’t want to hold back anymore.

“Damien’s probably wondering where I am,” she choked out hurriedly. It was the first thing that popped into her head, and she hadn’t even meant to speak it aloud. And like all word vomit, it was messy and awkward and completely the wrong thing to say to break the silence.

Will straightened, his back touching the wall. “I saw you with the Spaniard, saw how the two of you reacted together. You care for one another.”

Eyes widening, Sarah asked, “When we were dancing? We were just having some fun; it was nothing.”

“No, I went to see you a few days ago.” This was news to her. She said as much.

Shaking his head, a little bit of the old, guarded Will returned, shutting down some of the brightness in his eyes. “I thought you might like one of the wild daisies growing near my home, but when I arrived at the castle, I found the two of you jesting in the snow.” A muscle in his jaw quivered, and he laughed hollowly to cover his embarrassment—at finding them lying together on the ground or because he felt foolish for coming, she didn’t know. “I didn’t want to interrupt, so I left.”