Read Chasing the Phoenix Online
Authors: Michael Swanwick
No matter, for now the Hidden Emperor's majordomo, looking prosperous in anticipation of the new and surely profitable reign, appeared and in a loud voice announced, “There will be a
pause
in the
festivities
at this
point,
while all the major
participants
for the ceremony of
enthronement
refresh themselves.”
Servants materialized out of nowhere. “You must retire to your rooms, noble sirs,” one said. “So that you may be properly dressed for the ceremony.”
“Do you have a name?” Surplus asked him.
“Yes, sir, but it's not necessary for you to know it. I am one of the Twelve Flawless Servants of North. This is an exalted title, and to be served by one of us is a very great honor. As one of the Twelve, I am able to anticipate my master's needs before they are stated. When I am wanted, I will be there. When something is desired, I will present it to you. If you wish something were so, you will find that it has already been done.”
The servant standing nearest Darger added, “I am another of the Twelve. Just as my sister assures that all is done to your satisfaction, my job is to exceed your expectations.”
“I had a servant of no particular distinction once,” Darger said. “Yet, meaning no insult, I would trade you both and all ten of your cousins for him any day.”
“Indeed, sir? How very pleasant for you. May I ask what became of him?”
“He went on to better things.”
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
DEEPER THEY
were led into the Forbidden City, and deeper. Servants bowed low, opening doors before them, closing them in their wake. The sound of cheering dwindled, faded, became no more.
The quiet of the Forbidden City wrapped itself about them.
Darger and Surplus were first taken to a bathhouse, where maidens with heliotrope eyes removed their clothes, gently rubbed soap on their bodies, and washed away soap and stains with hot water, thus cleansing them from the memory of months of warfare and hard traveling. When they were clean, these same young women poured buckets of first warm, then cold, and then warm again water on them, dried them with fluffy towels, and led them to tables, where they were massaged so expertly it was hard for either to stay awake.
“I must arrange for such ablutions every day of my life,” Surplus murmured.
“Amen, my brother. Amen.”
When their exquisitely proportioned handmaidens had dressed them both in fresh clothes and then retired, the two Flawless Servants reappeared with glasses of cold nectarine juice. With a deferential gesture, one said, “The principals are gathering for the enthronement ceremony. Please follow us.”
Refreshed and alert, the two friends did so.
At the door, a crowd of servitors awaited to accompany them on their way. The two Flawless Servants of North went first, to open doors, followed by twin girls swinging censers in the shape of flying birds, from which arose wisps of frankincense. Then came flute and
suona
players, a drummer, and several women in bright silk robes.
Through the building they went, out and across a garden, and to another building even more ornate and imposing than all they had seen before. The two Flawless Servants of North opened large bronze doors, and the censer swingers stepped to either side. As did the musicians and the ornamental women. The Flawless Servants smiled and bowed them inward, and so Darger and Surplus stepped through. The room within was large and suitable for an emperor.
The doors slammed shut behind them, and they realized that they were alone in the room. For an instant, the two of them stood stunned and unbelieving.
A small door opened to one side then and a woman entered.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
“MY NAME,”
the woman said, “is Undying Phoenix.” At first glance, her face seemed beautiful beyond compare; at second, too full of character to be conventionally glamorous; at third, ravishing again. “My husband is the man you know as Capable Servant. He has had many other names as well, most of which would mean nothing to you. In Brocade, decades ago, he was the original Infallible Physician. I imagine you have many questions. Ask and I will answer.”
Darger and Surplus traded glances.
“I'll be the one to say it,” Surplus said. “Eh?”
“Our story is too long and complicated for me to do more than summarize. In Late Utopian times, a government-funded research project was launched to determine the causes of human mortality and undo them. Before the project was destroyed, along with so much else in the fall of Utopia, eight immortals were created. Three of them have since died, three have not been heard from for a very long time and may possibly be dead as well, and my husband and I are the last two. Like all good citizens, we fought in the war against the machines. Then, when it was won, we tried to live quiet lives of peace. In those chaotic and superstitious times, however, we quickly learned that if we stayed in any one place for more than twenty years, rumors would arise that we were witches or monsters. So we became nomads, and nomads we have been ever since.”
“That sounds like a very difficult life,” Darger said sympathetically.
“No more difficult than many another. No immortal should feel entitled to complain about such minor inconveniences when the common allotment of life is, by contrast, so brief.”
“Much as I know how you appreciate such narratives, Aubrey,” Surplus interjected, “I must interrupt to pose our lovely hostess a practical question: Why are we here when the Hidden Emperorâ”
“Capable Servant,” Undying Phoenix said, smiling.
“âCapable Servant is at this very moment being prepared to be seated upon the Dragon Throne? We belong at his side.”
“So you might think. However, look on this situation from my and my husband's point of view. There is a larger perspective here that, being caught up in the flow of events, you have not yet grasped.”
“Then tell us, please,” Surplus said.
“No Westerner has ever conquered Chinaânot even you,” Undying Phoenix said. “This is the first thing you must know.”
“I beg your pardon, but I was there,” Darger said.
“Did you not wonder at the ease with which the nations fell before you one by one? When you flew the flag of ancient China in Peace, why did the Council of Seven immediately pledge their loyalty? They had been prepared. In Fragrant Tree, why did the local authorities not detain and question so colorful a group of invaders as you led into the city? They had been corrupted. In Crossroads, when you sent for the Infallible Physician, why did my granddaughter show up so promptly? Because my husband had already sent for her. At the Battle of Three Armies, why did Twin Cities and the Republic of Central Plains turn on each other with such rapacity? Their mutual distrust had been watched over and nurtured for generations. Why, when you came to the Yellow Sea Alliance, did you find three of the nations anxious to make common cause with you? In all modesty, that was my doing. The eastern states' appetite for war had been sapped over the past several decades. Finally, when you arrived at the gates of North, ready for battle, why did your ultimateâand strongestâenemies simply surrender to you? Because I had so arranged matters that the rulers were sick of ruling and the citizens were weary of their tyranny. My husband and I have been working for a very long time to make events fall together exactly thus.”
“Was it Capable Servant who killed the emperor?” Surplus asked.
Undying Phoenix nodded. “Only someone immune to the emperor's toxins could have done so.”
“So everything that has happened to us since we came down out of Mongolia was but shadow play?” Darger asked. “With us as the puppets?”
“In essence, yes. It is possible that your involvement caused matters to occur more quickly than they would have otherwise. But even so, you were catalysts and nothing more.”
“I am flabbergasted, thunderstruck, and flat-out goggle-eyed,” Surplus said.
“As am I, though in less colorful idiom,” Darger agreed. “But what was all this about? What was it all for?”
“China is happiest when it is whole and prosperous and at peace with the world and least happy when it is divided into warring fractions,” Undying Phoenix said. “My husband and I have restored China to itself. Now our nation can be happy again. That's all.”
“Your husband, I note, now holds the title of emperor of the largest nation in existence,” Surplus said dryly.
“For a time. It will take a decade or so to make sure the new government is stable and then hand control of it back to the people. But I predict an early death and lasting fame for the newâand, I trust, the lastâemperor. It has been a long time since he and I were free to lead ordinary lives, and I am certain he yearns for that freedom as much as do I.”
“If so, then I am not sure he will ever get it,” Darger said.
Undying Phoenix raised one elegant eyebrow in query.
“No great leader ever willingly resigns while his nation faces an implacable enemy. Lady, I must warn you about the demons of the Internet and their plans.”
“I know all about them. The fourth or fifth thing that Immortal Alchemistâand now you know my husband's preferred nameâdoes as emperor will be to remove the Division of Sappers and Archaeologists from the army and make them an independent force dedicated to searching out and removing all traces of the Internet from our land.”
“Such a task would take centuries,” Surplus objected.
“Then it will take centuries. Once the work is begun, it can continue without my husband's supervision. Now. I must ask myself what is to become of you two scoundrels?”
“I suppose,” Surplus said, “that it is too much to hope that we will be given pensions befitting heroes and allowed to quietly retire in a modest province or three in the countryside? We would not need many hundreds of retainers and only a handful of palaces.”
“We deserve more, but we will settle for less,” Darger, who knew how to read a woman's face, threw in quickly. “A cityâFragrant Tree, perhaps?âin the hinterlands, a modest array of wives for us each, and enough servants to take care of our every need. That is not much to ask, considering.”
“And remain in China? No. Characters such as you two are born troublemakers. You have caused a great deal of trouble here, and all the nation has reason to be grateful for that. Now you must go away and cause trouble somewhere else.”
“Madam,” Darger said, “postpone our exile but a month or, indeed, but a few days. In that time, tell me only as much of your thoughts and your history and what the long centuries have taught you as you deem wise, and I will go away content.”
For a long moment Undying Phoenix was still. Then she said, “My husband told me you were the most seductive of men, and now I see why. What woman can resist a man who is genuinely interested in her mind? However, this cannot be.”
Undying Phoenix clapped her hands thrice and a half-dozen burly men entered the room. One of them said something that Darger could not understand, and Undying Phoenix answered him in the same language. Then, addressing the two friends again, she said, “These men are the first mate and crew of a ship I have hired to take you out of the country. They speak neither Chinese nor any Western tongues nor, indeed, any other language you are likely to understand. By the time you are in a position to buy a language potion, you will be safely away from here.”
Now Undying Phoenix opened a lacquered box. “When you were in the walled city of Peace, my husband gave the Dog Warrior a new sword cane, as thanks for his service. You, Aubrey Darger, sometimes known as the Perfect Strategist, deserve a sign of favor as well.” Within the box was a silver hip flask exquisitely etched with two phoenixes chasing each other across its surface. “In Crossroads, my husband encouraged Little Spider to liberate this from the city collections and give it to you. It was vanity on my husband's part to subsequently hand it to master craftsmen to be so decorated.” She presented the flask to Darger. “What you could not know, and the reason this particular item was chosen for you, was that it once belonged to Winston Churchill, a man whom I understand you admire.”
“I ⦠I hardly know what to say.”
“Then say nothing.” Undying Phoenix thrust a purse into Surplus's hand. “Take this, for the both of you with the thanks of my husband and me. But go.”
“One last question,” Darger said as the seamen closed about him. “You and your husband are both immortal and presumably know the secret of how you were made so. Is it a method or process or material that might be conveyed to other living beings?”
“To such as you, you mean? Heaven protect us from that ever happening!” Undying Phoenix said. But she said it with a smile and, if Darger were any judge of women, a fond one at that.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
SO IT
was that Darger and Surplus left the presence of Undying Phoenix and were escorted out of the Forbidden City and past a line of gallows from which hung dozens of corpses. Surplus threw his friend a questioning glance, and Darger said, “It is customary upon a coronation to free all prisoners. A canny ruler, however, will see to the fates of those he would not wish running about free, beforehand.”
“I recognize two or three of these. They were not good men,” Surplus said. “Yet I would not have wished death upon any of them. Venereal diseases, perhaps, and gout. Various persistent itches, to be sure. Psoriasis, perhaps, or embarrassing maladies of the bowels. But not death. I am glad now that my family got away in time. My pretend family, I mean. My family of the heart.”
“This is the work of more virtuous folk than we could ever hope to be,” Darger agreed.
Through the streets of North they were marched, and while their escorts displayed no malice whatever toward them, neither did they offer any least opportunity of escape. While many of the folk they passed stared at Surplus in wonder, none appeared to make the connection between this dejected figure and the valiant Dog Warrior whose legend had so terrified his enemies. As for Darger, he was nondescript at the best of times and forgotten as soon as one looked away from him.