Chat Love (8 page)

Danni shakes her head at my confession and stands up, placing her hands on her hips. “No, this isn’t you talking. This is your family, Skyler, and Autumn, and they are forcing you to feel this way.” She maintains a steady tone, “Look at me, Lu. We are the same age and I am completely happy with my life.”

I fidget with the hem of my shirt, fighting the tears that are welling up in my eyes. “Are you really happy?” I look up at her. “Because I know I’m not happy, Danni. Not with my love life, anyway. I’m lonely and I want someone to share myself with.”

Danni sits next to me and gives me a hug. “Lu, I didn’t know you really felt this way. If I had known, I wouldn’t have been so abrasive.”

I wrap my arms around her and lay my head on her shoulder. “I think that Gabby announcing her pregnancy just hit me harder than I expected it to.”

Danni suddenly lets go of me and gets up from the couch, a determined look on her face. “OK, that’s it. We are not staying in and whining. We are going to go out and find some real men.” She looks around. “Where’s Autumn?”

I grab a tissue from the coffee table and pat my face, trying not to ruin my makeup. “She’s out on a date with John.”

Danni’s face spreads into a wide grin. “Do you know where they are?”

An hour later, we walk into a cozy restaurant, both still shivering from the cold. We check our coats and quietly take a seat at the bar. I look at the drink menu and decide to order a Cosmo.

“There they are,” Danni says. I turn, looking in the direction that Danni is pointing and see Autumn sharing a table with a good-looking man.

I put my head down, trying to hide. I hiss at Danni, “I can’t believe we are spying on Autumn. She’s on a
date
, for crying out loud!”

Danni’s ignores me, her eyes revealing her surprise. “I have to say, I am surprised by how good-looking he actually is.”

I look back to Autumn’s table and take a good look at John. He is pale, with brown hair, brown eyes, and a nice smile. He is dressed in dark jeans, a white, collared shirt, and a blue sweater; he is doing a good job of making Autumn laugh. Still watching the two of them intently, Danni orders us some appetizers to eat while we spy.

About an hour passes and after two cosmos, some mozzarella sticks, and a shrimp cocktail, Danni is still watching Autumn and John, not even bothering to socialize with anyone at the bar.

Taking a sip of her drink, Danni comments, “I would have sex with him. If all the men on Chat Love looked like that, I would definitely join.”

Shocked, I turn to Danni and ask, “Does this mean that if I join Chat Love, you won’t look at me as if I’m some weirdo or something?”

Danni turns to me and narrows her eyes, “Why do you care what I think, anyway? You didn’t care what I thought back when you were with Ben. Just do what makes you happy.” She looks back in the direction of Autumn and John and grabs my arm.

I follow her gaze and see Autumn and John kissing. “Do you think we are watching their first kiss?” I ask, feeling a bit guilty.

Danni snorts, “Knowing Autumn, definitely.”

“She looks so happy,” I add.

Danni nods her head. “You would too if you were on a date with a guy who looked like him.” Danni nods toward John, finishing her cosmo in one gulp. “Why didn’t Autumn put me on Chat Love?”

I ask the bartender for the check. “Are you ready to get out of here?” I ask Danni.

Danni turns to me, a puzzled expression on her face. “You want to leave? But Autumn is still on her date! So much more could happen …”

“You can come over and help me pick a picture for Chat Love,” I offer.

With that, Danni grabs the check and pays the whole tab. She grabs my arm and practically drags me out the door, marching off in the direction of my apartment.

Later, Danni and I are in my room, sitting on my bed and flipping through photo albums in an attempt to find a picture worth putting up on my profile. Because we are both tipsy, the process is taking longer than necessary. Every time we look at a picture we find ourselves reminiscing and sharing stories, and now it is almost two in the morning and we still haven’t found a photo we like.

The door to the apartment opens and I hear high heels hitting the floor. The noise approaches my room and Autumn appears in the doorway, a smile on her face. She looks down at the floor and sees the scattered collection of photo albums.

“What are you guys doing?” she asks, obviously looking to join in on the fun.

Danni answers her coolly, “We are trying to find a picture that Lu can use for Chat Love.”

Autumn claps her hands and does an excited little dance. “Lu, this is the best decision you have ever made. You’re going to meet so many nice guys, and I know you are going to meet someone special and marry them and have babies and …”

I throw my hands up. “Whoa, Autumn—relax. Breathe.”

Autumn walks in and falls onto my bed with a contented sigh. “I’m going to marry John; I just know it.”

Danni asks, “The kiss was that good, huh?”

I hit Danni on the arm to quiet her down. Autumn looks at Danni, obviously confused. “How did you know that John and I kissed?” she asks.

I quickly say, “Because you’re glowing; I haven’t seen you this happy in a long time.” Although I’m fibbing to save our asses, she does look incredibly happy.

Autumn buys my story and squeals, “He’s perfect! I’m in love.”

Danni asks, in typical blunt fashion, “So does that mean that you’ll continue dating on Chat Love?”

Autumn looks offended, “Of course not; I’m done with Chat Love. I found my man and that’s it. That’s the whole point of the site: you find your special someone and get married.”

I am currently looking through a photo album from college featuring a collection of pictures of me, then blonde, with Ben. As I flip through the pages I ask Autumn, “So does this mean that John is your boyfriend?”

Autumn rolls her eyes at me as if my question were stupid. “Of course,” she replies, “I don’t just kiss anyone.”

I stop flipping when I find a picture of me alone at my first art auction with Ben. In the picture, my hair is long and I am pointing to a painting that I’d had my eye on but couldn’t afford. I look happy and carefree. I take the picture out and hold it up. “This is the picture.”

Danni grabs it out of my hand and stares at the picture. “What? Are you serious?”

“Let me see it,” Autumn says. Danni passes it to Autumn, who squints her eyes, looking closely at the photograph. She looks up at me and then back at the picture. “Is that you?”

I take the picture from her, get up from my bed, and grab my laptop. “Yes, it was taken back when I dyed my hair blonde.” I walk out of my room to the living room, where our scanner is. Danni and Autumn follow me.

Autumn protests, “Lu, that was taken years ago. You don’t even look like yourself in that picture.”

I connect my laptop to the scanner. “That’s the point. I don’t want anyone I know knowing it’s me on Chat Love, but it’s still a picture that I look pretty in. It’s a win-win situation.”

Autumn shakes her head, “I think this is a bad idea.”

Danni nods her head, “For once, I agree with Autumn.”

My cell phone rings and I look at it to see who could possibly be calling me at this hour. As soon as I see my sister’s house number I feel anxiety in my stomach.

“Gabby, are you OK? Is everything OK with the baby?” I look up to see Danni and Autumn looking at me nervously, waiting to hear what’s wrong.

I hear my sister huff. “No, everything’s fine. What are you doing tomorrow night?”

Surprised by my sister’s question and attitude I reply, “Nothing. I mean, later I was going to meet some friends, but…”

Gabriella cuts me off, “Good, because you have a date with Angelo.”

I almost choke out of surprise. “No, Gabby, I don’t.”

“Lu, Mom and Dad are pretty upset that you aren’t at least close to being in a relationship. You’re becoming more and more like an old maid. You don’t want to end up like Sandra Bullock, do you? Would you like to be alone for decades, only to marry a husband at forty who later cheats on you because you’re too old to hold his attention?”

I shake my head, trying to make sense of my sister’s stupid allegations. I see Danni and Autumn still looking at me with worried expressions and I wave my hand in dismissal. Danni rolls her eyes, knowing how dramatic my sister can be and announces that she is leaving.

Autumn’s cell phone rings and she answers, smiling in a way that reveals that it’s John’s voice on the other end of the line. While showing Danni out, I hold the phone to my shoulder, still able to hear my sister ranting about how old I am, how disgraced my family is, how everyone thinks I am secretly a lesbian, and how I’ll have to go out with Angelo to make our parents happy. By this point, I’m used to it; it’s the typical speech she gives me every three months or so.

I lie in my bed, just listening to her ramble on for another hour. She complains about my relationships, dissecting and highlighting my mistakes and flaws. Too tired to argue, and sufficiently depressed, I finally just agree to go on the date.

I am sitting at a table at Carmine’s, waiting for Angelo. I already have a dirty martini keeping me company. By now, I’ve been waiting for ten minutes and I am already ready for the date to be over. Instead of planning out my outfit ahead of time, like I do for all my other dates, I just threw on a black dress, tights, and blazer. Maybe I subconsciously chose to wear all black because I’m depressed to be here; I’ve had more fun at family funerals.

“Lucia Pia!” I look up and see Angelo walking toward the table with his arms in the air. He is a tiny, buffed-up, orange-tinted man who obviously spends too much time in both the gym and the tanning salon. I look around and see people staring at him already. He has a presence that commands the attention of a room, but not necessarily in a good way.

Practically shouting, he calls out to me, “Lucia, my beautiful Italian woman, my future wife, the mother of my children, my lovely, gorgeous…” I cover his mouth quickly with my hand before he can finish his disgustingly sappy sentence.

He grabs my hand and pulls it from his mouth, kissing my palm. I pull it away and hiss, “Can you please not make a scene here?”

Angelo pulls his chair out, dragging it across the floor and making plenty of noise. He plops down and raises his hand in the air, snapping his fingers to get the waiter’s attention.

The waiter comes over, looking at Angelo with disdain. “Yes, sir, would you like a drink?”

Angelo stuffs some money into the waiter’s jacket pocket. “Listen, my man, I want a Jack and Coke, and another martini for my pretty lady here.” He nods toward me with a wink, as I focus on trying to disappear. “Also, I’m ready to order.” Without asking my opinion, he orders a bunch of food for us to share. Carmine’s is a family-style restaurant where the large portions are meant for sharing.

After the waiter leaves, Angelo turns to me and flashes a goofy smile that just makes me want to smack him. His attempts at being flirty only make me like him less.

“Lucia,” he begins, “you don’t know how long I have begged Gabby and Tony for a date with you. I’m glad you finally agreed to go out with me.”

I mumble, “My arm was twisted.”

He leans forward on the table, trying to get closer to me. His tanned skin is even more orange up close. “What are you doing next week?”

I lean back, trying to distance myself from the talking Italian pumpkin. “What’s next week?”

Angelo’s smile widens and he shakes his head playfully. “Lucia, you are so adorable, pretending like you don’t know that next week is Valentine’s Day. It’s the day that every woman looks forward to, especially if they’re lucky enough to get to spend it with Angelo, the love machine!” At this, he flexes his arm muscles, attempting to show off, but only causing me to roll my eyes.

I snort, “No it’s not.” I run my fingers through my hair, trying not to reveal that I had actually forgotten that Valentine’s Day was next week. I should remember, because we’ve only been planning a Valentine’s Day week for the show since of January. I guess I’ve just been distracted lately.

“Well maybe, if you are a good girl, I’ll take you out.” Angelo winks; I wince. “But then again, I tend to prefer bad girls.”

Oh, God.
I think as I take another extra-large sip from my martini.
Please, just kill me now.
“I’d rather die,” I answer bluntly, at this point no longer worried about offending.

Angelo laughs obnoxiously and hits the table hard with his hand. “That’s why I like you, Lucia—you’ve got a sense of humor!” If only he knew I hadn’t been kidding.

Luckily, our waiter interrupts the conversation by delivering our drinks, and I quickly down what’s left of my first martini, knowing that I’m going to need all the alcohol I can get my hands on so I don’t snap, reach over the table, and try to stab him with my knife.

Never one to be tactful, Angelo leans across the table and says, “I bet you are sensational in bed.” He winks at me. “I can’t wait to find out.”

I grab my napkin and squeeze it till my hands turn white. A part of me just wants to hit him hard and leave, making a big scene and storming out in a fit of rage. But unfortunately I know that if I were to do anything of the sort, I’d never hear the end of it from my sister or parents, who would both complain endlessly about how I never try hard enough to find a good guy. Never mind the fact that Angelo is a greasy moron with only one thing on his mind; to my parents, he’s a quality, Italian man.

Instead of hitting him, I just reply curtly, “Angelo, I wouldn’t hold your breath while waiting for me to sleep with you.”

Our food finally arrives and, while eating, Angelo prattles on about himself, making sure to note how great of a guy he is, how great of a boyfriend he is, how great he is at sex, and how he can make a woman orgasm over and over. For all of his talents, he apparently isn’t good at generating pleasant dinner conversation. Rather than arguing with his arrogant statements, I choose to politely listen and nod, taking solace in the fact that I’m at least getting a free meal and making a point to order as many drinks as I can.