Chemistry of Desire (12 page)

T
he next surprise was a trip to Ayanna’s hair-stylist. It was a much appreciated treat because her hair was definitely looking shady after her morning of passion. The salon was a very soothing place to relax and recharge, and it also gave her a chance to talk to Ayanna.

“Thanks again for this, Ayanna. You don’t have to pay for me, though.”

“Don’t be silly, this is part of your present. And it’s a little mommy time for me. I’m devoted to my babies, but sometimes I need to remember I’m not just a mommy. So my wonderful husband is treating both of us, and Mom gets to spoil the girls
rotten. So it’s all good,” she said cheerfully and raised her glass of sparkling mineral water.

“Now let’s get down to business. At some point in the last twenty-four hours, you realized that Todd really is a wonderful guy. When and how did that happen?”

Emily shook her head and looked down at her feet, soaking in a warm whirlpool bath. “Don’t say it like that, Ayanna. That makes it sound like I’m a normal, rational woman, and I’m not. I’m a very confused woman with a low moral character,” she said sadly.

“What in the world are you talking about? You’re not making any sense,” Ayanna said worriedly.

Emily finally looked her in the eyes. “I’m not being honest with Todd. I saw him after I left Jared’s restaurant yesterday. I got turned around and ended up on his street, even though I didn’t know it was his street at the time. Well, there he was with this really hot chick, you know with the thigh-high boots and false eyelashes and wig.” She shook her head as she remembered. “So they’re kissing in the middle of the sidewalk, and it was like someone poured bleach in my eyes, or some other toxic substance. He had the nerve to criticize me for meeting a nice, decent guy on a plane, and he’s in the middle of the street with the town hoochie! Plus, there was the same matter of telling me I was a
mistake. I just kind of snapped, Ayanna. I decided I was going to screw him and toss him to the side before I went home. I figured he deserved it and we’d be even.”

Her sister looked calm and sympathetic, instead of the hostile reaction Emily expected, since Ayanna was a big fan of Todd’s. “So when did you realize that wouldn’t work, honey?”

“Somewhere between the first apology and the last kiss I came back to my right mind, I guess.” Her eyes filled with tears. “He was so incredibly sweet. He apologized for everything he’d done, for every time he put his foot in his mouth, for whatever. And he told me he wanted his actions to show me how he felt about me, and, oh, all kinds of things.

“Then he got called in to the hospital, and it was like seeing another side of him. And when he came back this morning, it was just… Well, you know,” she ended glumly.

“So what’s the problem, sis? It sounds like you’ve gotten everything out in the open and you’re ready to take it to the next level. Why are you so upset?”

“Because
he
was honest with
me,
but I wasn’t honest with him. I think he’s just a much better person than I am. He was honestly trying to make things better, and I was being a vindictive cow. He deserves better than that. Than me,” she clarified with a big sniff.

Ayanna patted her hand and handed her some tissue. “Emily, baby sister, please don’t torture yourself like this. If you knew what I put poor Johnny through while we were dating, you’d wonder why the man ever married me. Logic and love don’t always go together. When we’re in love, all full of hormones and emotions and lust and longing, things are bound to go off the tracks once in a while. If you find me a couple who has never had an argument, or come close to breaking up, I’d be very surprised. People say things they don’t mean and feelings get hurt, but that’s just life. Not all of life, but a part of life, that’s for sure.”

“Yes, but…”

Ayanna shook her head. “No ‘buts,’ Emmie. Give yourself a break. Stop trying to convince yourself that you don’t deserve to be in love and to have someone love you. Because way down deep, I think that’s what this is all about. I’m older and wiser and I know these things. Let go of all the dumb stuff and enjoy yourself, not just tonight, but for always. And if I’m right, which I am, you’re going to be very happy for a very long time. You’ll see.”

Emily was going to do her best to follow Ayanna’s advice and just enjoy the moment. Todd was certainly making it very, very easy for her. When they got home from the salon, there were beautiful
flowers waiting for her. They were magnificent orchids in a variety of colors that left her speechless. He was right on time to pick her up, too. She appreciated that gesture because it meant she had less time to worry. Besides that, she was ridiculously glad to see him.

He was nicely dressed in a great pair of slacks and another gorgeous sweater, this one in navy merino wool. He smelled terrific, as always. It was just the smell of his skin, because there wasn’t a cologne that could smell like that. When she came downstairs she thought she was overdressed and was about to change when Todd said no. “Please don’t even think about changing,” he said fervently. “You look perfect just the way you are. Better than perfect. Don’t change a thing, Emmie.”

She was wearing a black Herve Leger dress that Sherri had scooped up at a consignment shop. The tags were still on it and everything, and it fit her like a second skin. It had taken three days for her to learn to walk in the heels she was wearing, but the look on Todd’s face made it all worth it. “Are you sure I’m not too dressed up?”

“Not for where we’re going. You look beautiful, baby.”

Lucie and Ayanna just beamed at the two of them. “Have a good time,” they said and practically pushed them out the door.

She’d assumed he was going to take her to a
restaurant, but they went back to the loft. It looked even more inviting than the night before because there were more flowers for her and lots of expensive scented candles, too. He led her into the living room and showed her a table set for two.

“Did you cook for me?” she asked with a smile. “That’s very sweet, Todd.”

“No, I didn’t cook this time, but I think you’ll like it better. In fact, I know you will. But first, I have to tell you that you are the most incredible woman I’ve ever known and by far the most beautiful. Happy birthday, Emily.”

He put his hands around her waist and kissed her as she wound her arms around his neck. It felt so much like the kiss at the end of a wedding ceremony that she had to blink to keep back a tear.

“Thank you, Todd. You’re wonderful, you really are.”

“Let’s dance,” he said.

A look of pure panic crossed her face as his words sank in. “You like to dance?”

“Are you kidding? I love it, come on,” he urged. Before she could protest, he changed the music to some old-school R&B and he was leading her in an intricate and sexy dance.

“You’re good, baby. You’re better than your sister, and I once danced with her in a fundraiser. You have some serious moves on you, woman.”

She threw her head back and laughed. “If only
you knew how funny that was, sweetie. If you only knew.”

After they danced up an appetite, Todd seated her for dinner. He poured champagne and toasted her with a flourish and went to the kitchen to bring out a serving cart. When he served the food, Emily almost wept.

“Stone crab claws? How did you know they’re my favorite?”

“You told me when we were on Hilton Head. We were at that roadhouse, remember?” He smiled at her obvious pleasure. The crab claws were beautiful, already cooked and chilled. They had a unique appearance with their pale beige color and black tips. Emily allowed Todd to drape her with a big napkin to prevent spills.

“I should have changed clothes,” she told him. “These look so good. But where did you get them from?”

“Joe’s Stone Crab in Florida. They flew them right up, even the key lime pie.”

He took a seat across from her. “Todd, don’t sit way over there, come sit next to me,” Emily said. When he moved, she leaned over and kissed him hard. “This is so special, Todd. You have no idea how much I appreciate you doing this for me. I feel so spoiled,” she admitted. “No one has ever treated me like this before.”

“I don’t see how that’s possible, but I’m very
glad I was the first. I’ll be happy to spoil you for the rest of your life if you like.”

Forcing herself to stay in the moment, she gave him a bright smile and changed the subject. She showed him how to crack the crabs and fed him the first bite dipped in the piquant mustard sauce from Joe’s. They ended up feeding each other an inelegant amount of crab, along with coleslaw and Joe’s special creamed spinach. The meal was heavenly and they enjoyed every bite. “This was the best birthday ever.”

“This was just the beginning, sweetheart. You act like the celebration is over. I’m going to clean this up, and you go get comfortable.”

Emily took a few minutes to brush her teeth and wash her hands to banish the scents of lemon juice and mustard from her fingertips before going back to the living room. Todd was waiting for her with a pretty gift bag. Apparently, the sinfully expensive dinner wasn’t his only gift to her. As she walked to the sofa, Todd lay back against the pillows and held out his hands, pulling her down on his lap. He kissed her neck and asked, “Are you having a good time?”

She sighed with happiness. “You know I am.”

“Good. I have something for you,” he said casually, as he reached for the gift bag and took out a small box. He handed it to her and she stared at
it for a long moment. “It’s not self-opening,” he teased.

She tore the paper off and opened the velvet box it contained to find a large pair of thick, heavy yellow gold hoop earrings. This time she couldn’t hold back a tear.

“These are so pretty,” she whispered.

“You like them?”

“I love them. And I love you,” she answered softly.

“I’m glad you like them, because I think these go with the earrings.” He handed her another box. This one contained two thick bangle bracelets. They were a perfect match for the earrings, very high quality with a simple elegance that really set them off.

“Are you crying? Don’t cry, baby. I thought they kind of looked like you because they weren’t real busy with a lot of little doodads on them. If you don’t like them, I’ll take them back and you can get whatever you want.”

“Don’t be silly, they’re wonderful,” she told him. “I don’t want anything else. I just want you.”

Todd sat up and took her hands. “Me, you’ve got. Let me show you what I mean.”

He stood and very gently pulled her to her feet. In less than a minute they were in the bedroom.

“Y
ou are a work of art,” Todd said reverently.

“This dress is the art, dear.” She turned slowly so he could appreciate the way the silky black knit shaped itself to her curves.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You make the outfit. It’s not the other way around.” He was sitting on the bed watching her as if every inch of her was precious beyond price. “I want to undress you.”

She went to him and turned around so he could pull down the zipper, which he did slowly and carefully. He stood so that he could kiss the nape of her neck then the sensitive spot at the top of her spine, licking her down her back as he gently slid the dress off her body until it puddled on the floor.

She turned to face him so he could undo the tiny front hook of her crimson bra, freeing her round breasts so he could kiss them and squeeze them until they were both aroused and almost ready. She was holding on to his hips while he started taking off her panties, which were the same sultry red as her bra. Once she stepped out of them she was wearing nothing but the black stilettos that took her hours to learn to walk in.

“Now I’m going to take your clothes off,” she told Todd.

“Be my guest.” He held his arms out while she slowly removed his sweater. It was time-consuming because she was giving his chest the same treatment she’d received, licking his flat nipples and running her hands over his smooth, hard muscles and kissing the fading scar where he’d been attacked in the emergency room. Once the sweater was off, she started on his belt, but the heavy gold buckle slowed her down until she figured out how it worked.

She planned on taking her own sweet time with his pants just to prolong the anticipation, but he couldn’t wait. He had the pants off in less than twenty seconds. “It’s not my fault that you’re this fine, Emmie. We’ll work on it for next time.”

He picked her up and placed her in the center of the bed, kissing away her laughter. “Don’t laugh at me when I’m making love to you, woman.”

“Never, ever, ever,” she sighed, as he parted her legs and used his tongue and lips to bring her to a place she’d never been before. She was on fire from head to toe, her fingers tearing at the sheets, but he didn’t slow down. Every stroke of his tongue made her fly higher and higher until she was screaming his name. He finally relented and moved so that he was holding her tight.

“Hey, baby, I’ve got you,” he whispered.

“I’m yours,” she replied.

He turned over so he was on his back, and he lifted her so she was on top of him. “I want to watch you,” he said. He thrust upward while holding her hips, smiling at the gasp of surprise from her lips. They began rocking, her hips moving until she was positioned to accommodate his huge, heavy length. He pushed against her, harder and harder, watching her face as her climax began. Her nipples were bigger than he’d ever seen them and he could feel the hot, wet walls squeezing him and releasing, squeezing him again and again until he started to come, too. Her eyes were closed and she bit her lower lip as he kept pumping, holding out for as long as he could. When they were both bathed in sweat and her back arched, she tightened on him again and again until she was in control. He let out a sound from deep inside that was a cry of pure passion as she clenched him so tightly it
made him come harder than anything he’d ever experienced.

The tremors didn’t stop; they kept on rippling through his body. Emily was still feeling it, too; pulsing and tightening on him with every one. He was still holding her hips and she was still pulling him in, clenching and releasing. Neither one of them wanted to stop. Turning as if they were one person, Todd moved on top, but she was still in control. Her legs locked around his waist and she flexed again. He rose to his knees, holding her hips and her pretty behind. He pushed and she pulled again, and the passion built even higher. When she opened her eyes to look into his, he pushed harder and climaxed again but this time along with her before they fell onto the mattress. He’d never had loving like that before, and he knew without a doubt that he would never have it with anyone else but her. Never, ever.

“I know I promised you a shower, but the bath seemed like a better idea,” Todd said.

The huge bathtub, with its air jets to gently bubble the water, had indeed been the perfect place to relax after their wildly passionate lovemaking. Now they were in bed, Emily curled up next to Todd with her head on his chest.

“The bath was perfect. Everything was perfect. You’re pretty perfect, as a matter of fact.”

“You are so wrong about that I can’t even begin to describe it.”

“Then don’t.” She was so tired that she knew she’d be asleep any second. Todd sounded equally spent, but they couldn’t seem to stop talking.

“If I was to give you another gift, what would you say?”

That woke her up. Her eyes grew wide and she was about to answer when the sound he couldn’t ignore broke the silence. He cursed but answered the phone.

“What? When? Who else? Okay, on my way.” He looked disappointed but also calm and alert. She had started thinking of this as his poker face.

“I couldn’t say no. They’re airlifting victims from a massive pileup. I gotta go, baby.”

“I understand, Todd. Completely.”

“I’m glad you do,” he murmured. “By the way, I’m pretty sure we made a baby tonight.” He kissed her hard and laughed gently at the look on her face.

He was gone in minutes and she was suddenly wide-awake.

She was tired, but it was a wonderful, relaxed feeling, even though Todd’s warped sense of humor was a bit much. He’d been kidding about making a baby, but it wasn’t cute. Well, it was kind of cute, but still… She decided to tidy everything up, starting with the bedroom. When she looked
in her roomy leather bag she smiled, because her thoughtful sister had sneaked in a sweater, heavy leggings and a pair of flats. Happy she wouldn’t have to put on the dress again, she got to work.

She took the sheets off and laundered them in the kitchen. The place had everything, including a stacked front-loading washer and dryer. Every single thing that was out of place was washed, polished and put away, mostly the dishes from dinner. There wasn’t much to do in any part of the loft, really. Emily just polished up everything so it would look pristine when Todd got back. While she was putting the freshly dried sheets on the bed, she turned on the small flat-screen in the bedroom. It was on CNN, and a special report was airing about the horrendous freeway crash that had occurred earlier. This was the reason Todd had to leave, even though he wasn’t supposed to be on call.

Emily was engrossed and saddened as she watched the newscast. A semi had crossed a median and crashed into a chartered bus carrying high school students going to perform at a college football game. Several cars were also involved, resulting in five dead on the scene and many more injured. Most of them had been airlifted to Chicago, to Todd’s hospital. The news reporter actually said that their chances were measurably better because of the outstanding trauma
unit headed by Dr. Todd Wainwright. The footage shown was grim, at best. To see all the flashing lights, bloodstains on the freeway surface and crushed and blackened cars was terrible, just soul-crushing. If it hurt her to look at it, how could he just wade into the middle of it and do what he did? Emily felt humble in the extreme.

She had done triage work after Katrina; she’d been to Haiti and other scenes of disaster, but not as a first responder and certainly not as a surgeon. It was weeks after Katrina and the Haiti floods when she arrived to help out. What she did was act as relief for the doctors and nurses who’d been doing the real work. Looking at the television screen really reminded her of what a difficult career he’d chosen. She was proud of him, but even more displeased with herself.

He’d done everything he could think of to please her on her birthday. He was by far the kindest, most thoughtful man she’d ever known, and he was man enough to admit when he’d made a mistake. He had owned up to everything he’d done wrong in their relationship, and he’d asked for a chance to make it up to her.

But she didn’t do the same for him. She hadn’t leveled with him; she hadn’t shown him any honesty at all. She really was a piece of work, and now she was a sniveling coward, to boot. For someone
who never cried, she was sure making up for an arid past with plenty of waterworks.

She couldn’t continue to futz around the loft, and she would have felt like the biggest louse in the world if she just kept sitting there blowing her nose. So she did the only thing she could think of. She called a cab and left.

Todd felt at least a year older when he finally left the E.R. He couldn’t remember what time he’d gotten there, and he wasn’t sure what time it was now. The only thing that registered with him was each patient he had treated. He was still in scrubs; he’d changed them many times that day and gone through a lot of surgical gowns. Normally he changed, but it wasn’t on the top of his list right now. He stopped by the main desk before leaving, which was a break in his usual exit trajectory. Normally he went straight out the back. If he had, he would have missed the most welcome sight in the world. Emily was waiting for him, sitting on a bench near the door.

“Emmie, what are you doing here?”

“Waiting for you. Let’s go home.”

“That sounds wonderful, baby.”