Cherished (29 page)

twenty-six

I
T WAS
F
RIDAY, AND
B
RIAN WAS STARTING TO PANIC
. S
O
far only three songs had been recorded, and the album was due to the label end of next week. He was thankful he finally knew where he was going with it, but for the last album, he'd recorded ten songs more than needed—way in advance—so people he trusted could listen and tell him which were best to include. Now he was stressing over whether they'd have time to write and record the bare minimum, each of which needed to be good. And added to
that
stress was the fact that he was about to expose his past, which could bring a ton of controversy.

He stared vaguely at the computer screen in the studio. At least his label was on board with what he was doing. It considered itself a ministry with a mission to present the Gospel and a biblical world-view through music. The label owner told Brian, “We've never shied away from letting our artists tell the raw truth about their pasts. It makes the light of Christ shine all the brighter.”

He just hoped the public would see it that way.

He brought his focus back to the computer, trying to clear his inbox before Kelli arrived from work.
Kelli
. He hated how often she came to mind, even more so when he was trying not to think about her. After that blow at Six Flags, he told himself to forget all hope that the two of them could be together. Of course she had a boyfriend. What an idiot he'd been to assume otherwise.

He leaned forward when new messages downloaded to his mailbox and let out a groan at the first one. His academic advisor. He skimmed the note, zeroing in on the bottom line.
We need to know by end of next week whether you will continue your studies in the fall or terminate your degree at the master's level
.

Brian's head fell on the desk. He was supposed to know his life's future by next week? If the album turned out well, did that mean God wanted him to focus solely on the music? How would he really know?

He lifted his head with a new thought. Maybe it wasn't the either/or it seemed. He could resume studies in the fall because the album wouldn't release until the end of October, when the semester was half over. Somehow he'd make it work. He'd work double the extra hours in the lab on the days he could, to compensate for concert dates out of town.

And anyway . . . who said he needed to do tons of concert dates? People who followed his music knew he was a student. Wouldn't they understand he couldn't be on the road much? But his label definitely wouldn't understand. After all, this was a business. Albums cost money. They needed him to get out there and promote it. That might even be in his contract.

Vaguely, he moved his mouse to the next message, concerning possible artwork for the CD cover. They needed feedback today. He went to the next—and the doorbell rang.

Brian sighed, knowing it was Kelli. It wasn't that he no longer enjoyed working with her. It was that he loved it too much. He needed someone to tell him how to shut off his heart. He bounded up the stairs and let her in.

She looked cute as usual in simple white capri pants, her hair gathered in a side ponytail. “Hey,” she said.

“Hi, Kelli.” He stepped aside as she walked in. “You can go on downstairs. I need to run up and get some notes I had for a song idea, though I confess I'm not jazzed about it.”

Brian went to his bedroom, grabbed the notes from his nightstand, and went down to the studio. When he sat in his chair, he saw what he'd left showing on his computer screen—a picture of him and Monica with their arms around one another at last Friday's festival. One of the teen girls had sent the e-mail through his website.

Kelli had her head in her notepad, but he was sure she saw it. Whatever. Didn't matter anyway.

He switched screens on the computer and turned toward her. “I'm really hoping some ideas came to you, 'cause I've been stressing the last couple of days.”

She sat back, crossing her legs. “I have two to run by you.”

“Excellent. Shoot.”

“First one comes from this project I'm working on at church. I've been so impacted by the stories. I think we should do a love letter to young men.”

Brian nodded. “Importance of choices, not just living in the now.”

“Exactly. Responsibility. Taking the right path. A decision today can affect your life for years to come, not to mention the lives of others.”

“Okay. What's the other?”

“The parallel, a love letter to young women. Choices are huge there too. The song would let them know it's okay to be different, to hold on to virtue and modesty, to save sex for marriage. Also encourage them to look closely at the kind of men they're dating.”

Brian laughed, but without amusement. “Why do I feel like both these ideas are aimed at slamming me?”

“What?” Kelli frowned. “That's not the aim at all.”

“If you're a young man, don't make the choices Brian made, taking your girlfriend to bed, leaving her when she gets pregnant. And if you're a young woman, avoid a guy like Brian at all costs. Absolutely. Let's put that on the album.”

Kelli looked confused. “Why are you even going there? We both made choices we regret, but we can take the lessons learned and pass them on.”

“So you wish you'd never dated me?” There it was, his heart on his sleeve. He was fighting with everything he had to keep his emotions in check.

Kelli locked eyes with him. Her silence was killing him.

“I'd never say that, Brian.”

“No, say what you feel. I'm a big boy. I can take it.”

“You were my best friend, a huge part of my life.”

“But you wish we had left it at that, right? You wish we never ventured over into dating?”

Kelli shifted in her seat. “It's crossed my mind. If we hadn't started dating, things wouldn't have gone where they did. We would've saved ourselves a lot of heartache.”

He nodded, moving his swivel chair back toward the computer. This was great. He was supposed to somehow get past this and work? Knowing that the woman he loved not only didn't want a future with him but wished they'd never been involved in the past?

Did I just admit in my heart that I still love Kelli?

He ran his hand across his neck. He needed to remove himself and their experiences from the equation. These were good song ideas. He blew out a huge sigh and forced himself to move on. “Okay, any ideas for a hook for these?”

Kelli was staring at her phone. “Excuse me a sec. I need to reply to this.”

She got up and walked across the room, facing away from him. “Hi, got your text. You'll be here
tonight
?”

Kelli was talking low, but Brian could hear. So what if he was straining.

“What time? . . . How long are you staying? . . . Sunday morning? Miles, why are you springing this on me? I thought we would plan the visit together.”

Huh. Miles
.

“I'm just saying, I have things to do . . .”

Brian's head was pounding.

“I understand . . . I know. You're right . . . I'll make it work somehow . . . See you.”

Kelli sat back down, then seemed to remember him and looked up. “You asked about the hook?”

“We're not ignoring the elephant in the room, Kelli. Your boyfriend's coming, and you won't be able to work tomorrow or even late today. Right?”

“Wrong. I mean, he's coming, yes. And I might not be able to work late tonight. But I made a commitment to work on this album with you, and that's what I'm going to do. I'll be here tomorrow.”

“Does he know you're working on this project?”

She cut her eyes over at him. “You're in my business again, Brian.”

So apparently the answer was no.

“Should be an interesting weekend, huh?”

K
ELLI WAITED INSIDE THE TERMINAL NEAR BAGGAGE
claim, growing more excited by the minute to see Miles. Most of the afternoon she'd had an attitude with him. Booking a ticket without consulting her? Having to stop work when they'd hit a nice groove?

But once she'd gotten away from the studio, her mind shifted to the reality that he was actually coming. They'd be able to spend some time together. She'd been so busy with Brian, so taken with creating music once again, that her relationship with Miles had admittedly suffered neglect. But her heart fluttered on the drive to the airport—he really did mean a lot to her.

She saw a new wave of passengers descending the escalator and spied Miles among them, overnight bag on his shoulder, handsome in dark blue denim and a polo top. When he saw her, a smile spread on his face, and he opened wide for a hug.

“I can't believe I'm here,” he said, arms tight around her. “It's so good to see you.”

“I can't believe you're here either.” She inhaled his nearness, the feel of her head against his chest, then leaned back, narrowing her eyes at him. “Especially since it was so last minute.”

“Still mad at me?”

“I wasn't
mad
.” She glanced at baggage claim. “Did you check anything?”

“Nah, I'm good.”

She led him out, and he took her hand.

“You can charge and convict me if you want,” he said. “I'm guilty. When I saw an opportunity to come see you, I grabbed it.” He paused as the automatic doors opened, a little-boy pout on his face. “Aren't you a little glad to see me?”

Kelli smiled. “I'm a lot glad to see you.” She shooed the comparisons flitting about in her head—a hair taller than Brian but not as built, every bit as handsome . . . not that it mattered.

They continued to the parking garage. “It's just that we could've had more time if we'd planned a weekend next month.”

“You alluded to that earlier,” he said. “What do you have going on this weekend?”

“Oh, we'll talk about it later.” She fished her keys out of her purse. “I'm excited you finally get to meet my family. They're at the restaurant now, getting a table.”

“What did you tell them about me? That I'm head over heels crazy about you?”

“Ha. Yeah and that you'd be popping the question tonight.”

He pulled her to a stop just short of the car. “I'm not joking, Kelli. Do you think I'd drop everything to visit just anybody? Don't you know how much you mean to me?”

She stared into his eyes. “I might have an inkling.”

Her heart fluttered again. Maybe this impromptu visit was exactly what they needed.

K
ELLI AND
M
ILES WALKED HAND IN HAND DOWN THE
sidewalk toward one of her favorite pizza places in the Central West End. Every restaurant they passed looked lively, filled with people indoors and out.

“This area has a nice vibe,” Miles said. “And the weather tonight is perfect.”

They approached the outdoor hostess stand, and Kelli spotted her family waving them over. “There they are,” she said.

Everyone at the table rose, and Kelli took Miles around, introducing him to each.

“Nice to meet you all, finally,” he said. “Kelli has always had great things to say about her brothers.”

Cedric smiled. “Nice to meet you too. And welcome to St. Louis. Kelli says it's your first time.”

“Believe it or not,” Miles said. “I'm looking forward to Kelli showing me the sights tomorrow.”

Kelli hid her reaction.
Didn't I say we'd talk about it?

As they all took their seats, Miles excused himself to find the restroom.

Kelli knew it was coming—the grilling.

“He thinks you're sightseeing tomorrow?” Stephanie asked. “You haven't told him you're working on this album, have you . . . with your old flame?” She put her elbow on her chair and sat back. “Might be some fireworks this weekend. I'm . . . just . . . sayin'.”

“It won't be a big deal. He knows Brian's a thing of the past.”

“Mm-hmm,” Lindell said. “I'm not sure
I
know that, based on the two of you at church Sunday.”

“And don't forget Six Flags,” Cedric said.

Kelli ignored them.

“So what's up with dude hopping a plane to St. Louis last minute?” Cedric asked. “You really just found out he was coming this afternoon?”

Kelli nodded. “We've been talking about getting together. He said he realized this morning he didn't have anything on his calendar past noon, so he checked getaway fares on Southwest and decided to come. But . . .” She lifted the water glass at her place setting. “I think it was spurred by the fact that he called while I was at Six Flags. Even asked who I was with.” She took a sip.

“Oh, really?” Stephanie cocked her head. “Did you name Brian?”

“I said a group of friends.”