Child of Mercy (20 page)

“What if I
need
bacon?” he asked, looking worried about the idea of being without its salty goodness since I’d brought it up.

“No one needs bacon all that badly.  Something like that can wait.”

“Not even if I need it for a recipe?”

“Not even then,” I replied gravely.  “Nelo, are you lonely here?” I asked, wondering if that had something to do why he’d invited frick and frack in for a party.

“Lonely?” he blinked.  “Of course not.  I have Mimsy to talk to always, and your company to look forward to.”

“I meant for your own kind.  Do you ever miss being in Midian?”

“Miss it?”  Nelo made a strange keening sound, doubling over as if he was in pain and I dropped to my knees to see what was the matter.  He rolled onto his back, feet waving in the air and that’s when I realized he was laughing.  Uncontrollable giggles to be more exact, and it took him a few minutes to catch his breath enough to speak. 

“No, Mistress.  I do
not
miss Midian.  I love it here with you.  Why… do you wish me to return to Midian when the Bunny comes?”  His eyes widened in sudden fear.

“No, Nelo.”  I gathered him onto my shrinking lap as best I could.  “I don’t want you to go back to Midian. 
Ohana
means family, and we don’t leave family behind.”  I put it in terms he could understand.  “We’re adding a new member to the family, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t room for you too.  There’s always room for family.”

“Then why did you tell your mother there wasn’t room for her to live with us?”

Damn, he had me there.
  “I didn’t mean there isn’t room for her in my life, I meant there isn’t room for her physically here.  She comes with way too much baggage.  Besides, you can’t have too many mama bears in the house, the baby bear won’t know who to listen to.”

“I thought you said it was a bunny…”

“It’s not…” Lord, did he really think I had a fuzzy rabbit growing inside of me?  “There’s no bunny or bear inside here, it’s a normal human baby.” 
I hoped…
  “Bunny is a nick name until I find out if it’s a girl or a boy and pick out a real name.”

“Oh.”  Nelo nodded in understanding.  “I like Bunny, it sounds playful.  Will the Bunny like to play?”

“Not right at first, it’ll be too small for games to start with.  Human babies are very delicate, we have to be careful not to break them.  But when it gets bigger, then yes, I think it’ll like games.”

“I’ll be very careful not to break it.”

“I know you will, Nelo.  But right at first, how about we come up with the rule that you only touch the baby when I’m around.  Just until you get the hang of being around it.”

“As you wish, Mistress.”  I held him in silence then, rocking us both gently.  “Mistress?” he asked after a while.

“Hmm?”

“Can the baby hear me?”

“I think so.  Studies have shown babies react to sounds outside the womb.” 

“Good.”  He leaned down to speak against my swelling abdomen.  “I can’t wait to play with you, Bunny.”

Chapter Sixteen

“I feel like I’m always thanking you for something lately,” I remarked, stretching the seatbelt as wide as it could go to accommodate my giant belly. 

“That’s not such a bad thing, is it?”  Parker looked over the tops of his sunglasses at me.  Once more he came to the rescue, offering to take me to my doctor’s appointment after my trusty car developed a terminal case of not-working-itis.  I could have flown, but I felt like a giant hippo lately, my swelling abdomen throwing me off balance.  A car ride seemed safer. 

“No, I just hate asking for favors.  I should probably get used to it though unless I can scrounge up enough money for a new car.”

“Why don’t you use Adam’s car?  He left you a sweet ride, didn’t he?”

“I’d rather not owe
him
any favors,” I muttered, looking out the window. 

“Good.”  I heard him say under his breath. 

Things were still in limbo between Parker and me in the weeks that passed since
the kiss
.  We hadn’t talked about it at all, but I noticed that Parker started to take more liberties with me than before.  He’d come and rub my shoulders at work when I was on a break or take my hand more often if we went somewhere together.  Goodbyes were generally accompanied by a quick peck on the lips.  Once or twice not all that quick… 

I didn’t object. 

At the same time, I didn’t do anything to give him the green light to take it to the next level either.  I still wore Adam’s ring, and I still thought on some level that we’d work things out between us, I guess.  But it was hard to resist Parker’s attention, so most of the time I didn’t even try.  Instead I found myself sitting next to him on the couch on purpose, hoping he’d linger when the others went home whenever we all hung out together.  I probably spent more time with him than I had with most boyfriends in the past, between work and off time, but neither of us rocked the boat to define it. 

I admit part of me was afraid if I gave in and did something about the growing attraction I felt for him, I might lose my chances with Adam once and for all.  Not to mention the fact that Parker wasn’t exactly known for his long term relationships.  What if we hooked up and then he decided he was done with me?  How could we remain friends or even our working relationship?  Plus, part of me didn’t want to enter a physical relationship with my body hijacked by the little critter. 

I hoped the ultrasound would finally show us the sex of the baby, but after the last couple of failures I didn’t hold my breath.  Dr. Hathaway held more faith on the matter though, greeting us with a hearty smile.

“Today’s the day, I can feel it!”

“I sure hope so, the suspense is killing me.”  I shook the hand offered.  “This is Parker, he’s my…”  It was getting harder and harder to define our relationship.

“Oh, are you the fiancé?” Hathaway dropped my hand to shake his.  Maybe I should have stopped wearing the ring in Parker’s presence?  He didn’t seem to mind the misconception though. 

“That’s me,” Parker grinned.  “And I know you’ll come through for us, Doc.  I’ve got a fifty lined up on it being a girl and I can’t collect until we have definitive proof.”

“Fifty, huh?” Hathaway considered aloud, still pumping Parker’s hand.  “I’ll take that action, LOL.”

Parker’s eyes narrowed and I could tell he was trying to figure if the odds had shifted out of his favor based on whatever inside information the doctor might have.  But in the end, he was a gambling man by nature, and his smile returned quickly enough.  “Done.”

“Well then, let’s get this show on the road.”  Hathaway looked positively gleeful, and I wondered if he took bets on all of his patients. 

“I’ve been good by the way,” I piped up, miffed over all the interest in odds over Bunny’s health.  “My energy level’s been fine, my ankles are a little swollen though.”

“Good, good,” the doctor replied, more focused on getting the machine up and running than my answers, I suspected.

“I sure wish I’d stop craving live worms though, I can’t get enough of them.”

Parker shot me a look, but Hathaway didn’t falter.  “Good…”

“Maybe it’s from all the fresh dirt I’ve added to my diet.”

“Yep…”

“Do you think that could be the reason?” I asked, waiting expectantly and he turned to me with a blank stare.

“I’m sorry, what were you saying?”

“You didn’t get any of that, did you?”  I shook my head with a sigh while Parker sniggered beside me. 

“Oh, sorry, I guess not.  I get carried away by the technology sometimes, I heart this machine,” he apologized with a silly grin. 

“Don’t sweat it, Doc, we all love our toys, don’t we?” Parker grinned.  “Let’s get this baby fired up and see who’s buying dinner.”  He rubbed his hands together in anticipation.  No less eager to make sure the baby was progressing on schedule and hopefully find the answer to that question myself, I laid back, wincing at the cold gel on my abdomen as he rolled the doohickey over my skin. 

A veteran of three ultrasounds, I still found it hard to figure out what displayed on the monitor.  Hathaway busily took measurements at first and didn’t offer comments on what he found. 

“You really bet fifty dollars it’s a girl?” I asked Parker as we waited and he shrugged, eyes on the screen.

“Sure, why not?”

“What makes you think it’ll be a girl?”

“Girls are better than boys, everybody knows that.”  He gave me a
duh
look, his eyes returning to the screen to try and make heads or tails of what he saw there.  “Holy shit, there it is… I see the head.  That’s the head, right?”  He picked up my hand.

I craned my neck to see, but it was Hathaway who gave the confirmation.  “Yep, we’ve got a perfect little hand here too and another…”  The image jerked lower and I lost my frame of reference. 

“Is everything alright?”  Even after getting completely normal results for the last three, I couldn’t shake the unreasoning fear something monstrous might crop up. 

“Everything looks great, see, she’s waving at you.  Hello, mummy and daddy.”  He affected a falsetto voice as the baby’s hand jerked on the image. 

“
She’s
waving at us?”  Parker’s hand tightened over mine and Hathaway’s mouth twisted in chagrin.

“Yep, I’m definitely paying for dinner.”

“It’s a girl?  I’m having a girl?”  My mouth fell open in surprise and I felt a surge of jubilation.  Not that I’d have minded a boy, but somehow hearing she was a girl made something click inside.  All of a sudden I could identify with her that much more.  My baby girl. 

My daughter. 

“I knew it!”  Parker crowed in triumph, his lips descending over mine in a joyful kiss.  

“I guess I shouldn’t have taken that bet after all, LMAO,” the doctor chuckled.  “I’ll leave you two kids alone for a minute while I get my wallet.”

“Take your time,” Parker replied, his eyes full of an emotion I wasn’t sure I recognized when he pulled back.  “I still think Parker is a good name for a girl.”  He laid his hand over my belly and I covered it with mine.

“I still think that’s reaching a little.”

“Why, you don’t think you should name your baby after your
fiancé
?” he smirked and I rolled my eyes.

“You’re the one who let him think you’re the daddy, not me.”

“Why don’t we get married?” he asked with a shrug and I laughed, thinking he was still playing along.

“Funny.”

“No, I’m serious.  Why don’t we?”

“Right, you’re serious,” I scoffed.  But there wasn’t a trace of a smile on his face, and that’s when I realized, he wasn’t kidding at all.  Parker really did want to marry me.  “What?  Why would we get married?  We’re not even dating.”

“We haven’t put a label on it, but what do you think we’ve been doing these past few months, Merce?  I’m closer to you than I am to anybody, and I know you feel the same way.”

He did have a point there… maybe I confused it with something else because there wasn’t a hormone surged make-out fest at the end of every night, but we did see each other most every day in a social way.  I could honestly say I felt closer to him than anyone else, even Daphne.  Maybe I was ready to call it dating, but that didn’t mean I was ready for something like marriage.  “Being close is not the same as getting married.” 

“I’m willing to take it as is for now.”

“Yeah, but marriage…” I was definitely leery of the big M after the fiasco with Adam.  I didn’t think I could take losing Parker too. 

“If you’re going to do something, you might as well do it right, remember?”

“Parker… you know I don’t… you and I, we’re not…”  How could I tell him I didn’t love him the way he needed me to when he looked at me like that?

“I know, we’re not there yet.  If it wasn’t for our girl here, I wouldn’t even ask.”  He patted my middle.  “But I want to take care of you.  Both of you.”

For the first time I understood Parker really did love me in his own way.  It wasn’t the same intense love I felt from Adam, but that made it no less real.  Which was why I couldn’t let him turn his life upside down for me when there was a chance I might never love him the way he deserved to be loved in return.  “Parker, it’s not fair to you.  We’re…”

“We’re friends,” he interrupted.  “Close friends.  I know that.  Maybe someday it’ll turn into more.  But if not… either way that baby’s gonna need a positive male role model.”

“And you think that’s you?”  I raised a single brow.

“We’re good for each other, aren’t we?  I know you make me a better man at least.  I know I’ve been kind of a shit sometimes, but I promise, I can do this.   I’ll be good to you and the baby, Mercy.” 

I knew he’d be a good father, maybe not father of the year, but Parker was a good man.  He knew all my big secrets, my idiosyncrasies and flaws, and he loved me anyway.  We shared plenty of interests but had enough outside ones to keep from being in each other’s hair night and day. 

Maybe we could make it work?  Plenty of marriages succeeded on far less.  If it wasn’t for the love thing, I’d have an easier time making the decision. 

“This is a big step, Parker.  Not a spur of the moment kind of thing.”

“I know, it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a long time.  Since before your brother’s wedding, remember?”

I hadn’t thought he was serious about it back then, but I could see he’d given it a lot of thought in the months since.  “So, you’re saying we get married, just like that?  I move into your place and we play house?” 

“Basically.  We’re running out of time for long engagements if we want to do this right.”  He patted my middle again.

“Separate bedrooms?”

“If you like,” Parker replied without hesitation.  “I’ve got plenty of space.  It won’t take much to get the place ready for you.”

“And you don’t think it’ll be weird?”

“I think it’ll take some getting used to for both of us, but I kinda like the idea of seeing you every morning across the breakfast table.”

It was a nice image, the two of us in his kitchen making breakfast, a high chair pulled up to the sleek new island he’d installed.  Something kept me from saying yes right away though.  “What about Nelo?”