Chistmas Ever After (19 page)

“He’s starting school now. He needs a good, stable home.”

“So you’ll have one soon with your fiancée.”

Alex ate, distractedly. “I was hoping J-boy would warm up to Valencia, but he hasn’t. That’s why he ran away, because he… well, he doesn’t want me to marry her.”

“He probably just needs some time.”

“I was worried sick,” Alex continued. “I didn’t know where to look or what to do. Then, after he was pronounced dead and he…came back to life, I felt like… Well, I feel like I’ve been given a second chance somehow. I’m starting to see things differently, more clearly. It’s like I can stand outside myself and see what a fool I’ve been. So selfish and childish.”

“You’re being a little hard on yourself, aren’t you?”

“No, I’m not. I’ve just been so confused…” He looked up at her. “Until I saw you.”

Jennifer ducked her head, swallowed more cheesecake and quickly reached for her coffee. “Me?” she said quietly.

“Don’t ask me why, but I’m just starting to second-guess everything.”

They stared into each other’s eyes, disturbed and hopeful, trying to fight the lure of attraction.

Jennifer changed the subject. “The snow’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

Alex didn’t take his eyes from her. “I had a teacher back in high school who once told our class that we were constantly writing the story of our lives with our thoughts, words and actions. She said we were responsible for the quality and the shape of our lives. She was one of the reasons I decided to go into teaching. Her dedication and concern for her students were incredibly inspirational. I’d forgotten all about that until Jason’s accident… until I saw you standing there with him.”

Jennifer took another quick bite of the dessert. “When is the wedding?” she asked, trying for a casual tone.

Alex reached for his coffee, lifted the cup and then replaced it solemnly. He turned toward the window. “June…”

Jennifer lowered her eyes and was only vaguely aware that the pianist was playing
Silent Night
.
“Oh,” was all she could manage.

“We’ve both been married before. She’s divorced and… my wife died about two years ago.”

Jennifer sat back, stunned. “I’m so sorry… then we’ve both had losses.”

Alex avoided her eyes. “Yes.”

Jennifer waited a moment before speaking. “A June wedding. Sounds romantic,” she said, at a near whisper.

Alex reached for his coffee again and took a sip. “Yes…”

“Does Jason miss his mother?”

“Yes…”

“What was she like?”

He smiled warmly. “Full of life, generous, scattered. She was always forgetting little things: her car keys, her winter gloves, where she had put the latest book she was reading. She loved books. Usually had two or three going at once. But she was always there for Jason. Always made sure he was taken care of.
 
She liked people and she believed in me, and in our relationship.”

“She sounds very special.”

“Yes, she was.”

While the pianist played
Carole of the Bells
, Alex and Jennifer finished their desserts and drained their coffee cups.

“Tell me a story about a Christmas you remember when you were a little girl,” Alex said.

“What do you mean?”

“What was Christmas like when you were a girl?”

Jennifer thought for a moment. “My mother worked in a factory where they put gift baskets together for special occasions, you know like Valentine’s Day, Thanksgiving and Christmas. At Christmas, our little house was always filled with beautiful baskets of fruit and candies and little stuffed Santa Clauses. I was always so surprised and happy. I used to leap up and dance around the house when she brought them out and placed them on the tables and windowsills.”

Alex watched her intently, his eyes sparkling.

“I found out later that those baskets were the rejects. Mama didn’t have the money to buy them and my father was an alcoholic and couldn’t keep a job, so… She got them half price and even then, it took her months to pay for them.”

“I’d like to have met your mother,” Alex said.

Jennifer closed her eyes for a moment, as if to ask again for forgiveness. “She was a good mother. I didn’t realize it until recently. I only hope I can do as well, if I ever become a mother.”

“You will be a wonderful mother. Is your father still alive?”

“No… he passed away two years ago.” She paused, staring down at the table. “What about your parents? Are they excited about the wedding?”

“Well, we had kind of a falling out. I haven’t spoken to them for a long time.”

The music was rising and falling across the murmur of voices and the busy steps of the servers.

She looked up. “You should invite them to your wedding,” Jennifer said. “Time goes by so fast, Alex.” She stopped, realizing she’d spoken his name for the first time. It gave her a private pleasure. She continued on. “I’ve realized that recently. I wish, now, I hadn’t shut my parents out. I wish I could take back every cruel thing I ever said.”

He considered her words, folding his hands.

“They must miss Jason terribly,” Jennifer added.

“Yeah… I’ve been thinking about that since this happened. I’ve been thinking I should call them.” Alex looked at her deeply. “You know, I think they would like you.”

When she lifted her face to meet his gaze, she saw something ignite in his eyes. She wondered if he was unraveling like she was. Did she make him feel vulnerable and powerful? Frightened and safe—every contradiction and cliché she could think of? She knew that if she let herself go, if she allowed herself to fall into that infinite moment of rapture, his eyes would melt her.

Then, just as she was about to pull her eyes from his face, the nagging thought in the back of her mind suddenly became illuminated. She should have known! She should have remembered! She
would
have remembered if she hadn’t been so distracted and confused by everything that had happened! It was so obvious!

She sat up, astonished. “You’re Alex Hartman!”

CHAPTER 14

They walked slowly, silently, watching the halo of the streetlights on 70
^th
Street and the snow flurries falling lazily through the light, like little insects circling a flame. The five inches of snow on the ground muted the sounds of the city and made the atmosphere more intimate and private, despite the restaurants they passed, where patrons were lively and animated, and the crowds who roamed the streets with red cheeks were buoyant and cheerful.

Jennifer had changed her shoes back at the café, putting the heels in the bag with her old clothes. Alex was carrying it.

“So my father didn’t send you to find me?” Alex asked.

“I told you he didn’t. He doesn’t even know I left town.”

“And all of this is just coincidence?” Alex asked, trying to understand. “Just a coincidence that you bought the same building where Donna had a bookstore and café? A coincidence that you went on that sled ride with Jason? It’s all just a coincidence? Am I supposed to believe that?”

Jennifer heard the edge in his voice. “I don’t know, Alex. I don’t know anything or understand anything! Believe what you want to believe!”

Alex turned away. “I don’t know what to believe about anything anymore. Everything seems so confusing. It’s like I can’t even think straight.”

“Join the club,” Jennifer said.

Alex reached for his cell phone. “I need to call J-boy.”

Jennifer turned her back to him as he called and spoke playfully with Jason. There was such love in his voice—such joy!

“Yes, Jason, she’s here with me… Yes… Yes… Okay, I’ll tell her. You get some sleep now and I’ll be back soon… Love you, J-boy.”

After he replaced the phone in his jacket pocket, he faced her. “Jason said to tell you that he’s sleeping with the bear you brought him.”

“I’m glad he likes it.”

“He likes you.”

“Well, we had quite an adventure together.”

“So I’d like to hear about it.”

“Maybe someday…”

Alex eyed her curiously. “I don’t know what to think about anything and you know what? I don’t care. I don’t want to think right now. Right now I just want to be a little crazy!” He looked east, suddenly getting an idea. “Go skating with me! Wollman Rink is over on 64
^th
Street.”

“Skating? But what about…?”

“Hey…it’s Christmas Eve, it’s snowing and we’re not going to think. No more thinking and trying to figure everything out. Let’s just go and have fun.”

She couldn’t hide her sudden pleasure. “Should we?”

“You do skate, don’t you? I mean you’ve lived in Willowbury for almost a year. Everybody in Willowbury ice skates.”

“I’m not very good.”

Alex saw a taxi and hailed it. They climbed in and started for Wollman Rink. Jennifer grew excited. When the first phrases of “should not” and “what am I doing?” intruded, she pushed them out of her mind. She looked at Alex. He rubbed his hands together, eagerly.

“I haven’t been ice skating since I left Willowbury.”

“I’m going to have to change my clothes,” Jennifer said.

“Don’t worry, they have lockers.”

The taxi dropped them at the curb near the rink, and they stepped out and started down the back toward the Plaza Hotel. Near the rink, they passed a Santa Claus, ringing his bell, standing near a chimney just as Jennifer had done at Rockefeller Center. Alex stopped, reached for his wallet and walked to the chimney. He nodded at the Santa, closed his eyes and dropped in some money. Santa HO-HO-HO’ED.

As Jennifer and Alex started for the rest rooms, Jennifer looked at him. “Do you believe in Santa Claus?” she asked.

“Absolutely. You?”

“I’m beginning to.”

In the ladies room, Jennifer anxiously changed into her other clothes, folded her gold dress, placed it in the bag and inserted it into her locker.

When she appeared outside, Alex was waiting for her, beaming like a kid, anxious for an adventure.

Once the skates were rented and laced up, Alex led her toward the ice.

“I told you, I’m not that good,” Jennifer said, worried.

Alex stepped out onto the ice and reached for her. “I won’t let you fall.”

“Famous last words,” she said, frowning.

She took his broad hand, and they waited for the rhythmic flow of the skaters before pushing away from the railing and joining them. He looked at her with amused surprise.

“You’re doing great!” he said.

“I always feel like a clown when I’m on ice skates.”

Skaters whizzed by, turned and whirled. Kids stammered across the ice, slipping and falling, reaching and giggling, while couples held hands and swayed. Jennifer struggled for a time, but as she felt Alex’s sure hand and easy movement, she gradually stopped fighting the ice and found a comfortable pace.

Alex was noticeably delighted. “It makes me a little homesick for Harvey’s Pond.”

“So maybe you should go home.”

He looked at her appealingly. “So, maybe I should.”

“What did you and your father argue about?” Jennifer asked, feeling her left leg wobble unsteadily.

Alex took her arm and stabilized her. “Politics. Child rearing, sports, food, home improvement and movies. He’s kind of a know-it-all.”

“And you?”

He looked at her diffidently and shrugged. “Kind of a know-it-all.”

“So, here’s what you do. You sit down with him and you work out a system. Sometimes you let him be right. Sometimes he lets you be right. Whenever you can’t agree on who should be right, you bring in a third party, like your mother or a good friend. The trick is, not to let the conversation get so out of control that you both become angry and threatened.”

Alex looked at her in amazement. “Is it really that easy?”

“No, not always, but with practice, I’ve seen it work.”

He considered it. “I like it! Where did you learn that?”

“I was an office manager for a year when I got out of college.”

“You’d be a great mother.”

Jennifer’s attention was suddenly drawn to a mother and her child, skating nearby. Neither were very accomplished skaters and they were making a valiant effort to stay on their feet. As Alex and Jennifer skated by, Jennifer looked over her shoulder and recognized the woman as being the same woman she’d seen at Rockefeller Center, earlier that evening. She had read the woman’s thoughts. Jennifer remembered them verbatim.

“Dear God, thank you for the apartment…please, I just need $200.00 to get me through the month… I know you can help me. I hope this dollar helps someone.”

Jennifer looked at the Santa Claus, suddenly getting an idea. “I’ll be back in a minute,” she said.

She released Alex’s hand and drifted over to the railing while he watched, puzzled. She made her way back to her locker, opened her wallet and took out $200.00 in 20.00 dollar bills, put them in her pocket, then placed a $10.00 bill into her other pocket.