Chocolate Girls with Golden Hair (2 page)

How could she go on without her
family?

How could she go on without her sister
Sandy? She just wanted the pain to stop, all the suffering and all
the heartache. As she contemplated putting an end to her emotional
pain, she removed the belt from her corduroy pants, then gently
placed the belt around her neck. With a determined gesture, she
buckled the belt around her neck. She pulled it snug, tighter and
tighter until she could hardly breathe and a wonderful thought came
to mind.

This could end it all. Right here. And
right now. All the suffering and all the heartache could be a thing
of the past, and she would not have to live another day. Bianca
continued to stare at the reflection of hopelessness on her face
and surprisingly, out of nowhere, she heard a female voice ring out
from the other room, calling her name.

"Biancaaaaaaa?
Biancaaaaaaa?"

It startled her, and she thought she
must be hearing things, but as quickly as she dispelled the voice,
it rang out again. This time louder and longer.

"Biancaaaaaaa?
Biancaaaaaaa?"

The voice sounded so familiar, too
familiar. It was the voice of her sister, Sandy. Bianca released
the belt from her neck and hurried into the front room. But the
voice mysteriously stopped. Bianca stood there motionless, wiping
the tears from her eyes, wondering if she was losing her mind when
she heard the voice again.

"Biancaaaaaaa?
Biancaaaaaaa?"

This time it came directly from the
full-length hall mirror, framed with dark red trimming. Bianca
approached the mirror fast, and to her amazement, in her own
reflection was an image of her sister Sandy. She was as beautiful
as always with long straight bleached-blonde hair. Her makeup was
flawless and she had a smile that could light up any room. She was
draped with expensive shiny earrings and necklaces to match. She
was the elegant side of Bianca, if Bianca possessed bleached-blonde
hair and was not so plain looking. If this was how you look once
you die, then Bianca could not wait until it was her
turn.

But this didn't make any sense. How
could her sister be in her reflection when her sister was dead? In
shock, Bianca turned her eyes away from the mirror for a moment
before returning her focus to it, but, still, an image of her
smiling sister remained.

"Is that you, Sandy?" Bianca
asked.

"How are you, Bianca?"

"It is you," Bianca uttered in
amazement. She was stumped for words. Here she was having a
conversation with her dead sister. "I don't understand. I thought
you were─"

"Dead," Sandy said, finishing Bianca's
sentence. "I've been so worried about you, Bianca. I thought you
might need someone to talk to."

"You did?" Bianca asked, as a tear made
its way down her face.

Her sister's words brought back many
memories, memories of times when her sister stepped in to comfort
her in times of great need. And now was definitely one of those
times. Sandy seemed to have a flair for sensing when Bianca was in
need of her assistance.

Bianca touched the mirror, hoping to
connect with Sandy, but Sandy was just an image.

"I saw what you were about to do in
there," Sandy said. "I'm disappointed that you allowed yourself to
become so hopeless."

Bianca was speechless. Not just because
her sister was right, but because she was curious how her sister
always seemed to know these things.

"It's certainly not the answer," Sandy
continued. "And I think you know that."

"You're right. I do know better. Of
course I wasn't really going to do it. I just needed to toy with
the idea for a moment and exorcise my demons, if only to realize my
foolishness."

"Are you feeling any better
now?"

"Only because you're here with me. I
miss you so much, Sandy. I don't think I can make it without
you."

"Of course you can. You're stronger
than you think."

"No, I'm not."

"Do you remember who loves you no
matter what?"

Bianca didn't even think about it
before she blurted out, "Sandy loves me."

"That's right and don't you ever forget
it. I have to go now, but we'll talk again soon."

"Don't go, Sandy. Please don't
go."

Bianca didn't move her eyes from the
mirror, hoping that if she didn't blink, Sandy might not disappear.
But it was no use.

Sandy was gone.

Bianca met with Dr. Kenneth Kern during
her lunch hour on Mondays. For forty-five minutes, she exposed her
intimate feelings, concerns and private thoughts to him. She found
him easy to talk to because he seldom displayed any kind of emotion
despite her words. Though she was not convinced that her visits
with him were helping her, her sessions with him were a
much-welcomed comfort because he was there to listen.

The small size of his office, the
massive books on the shelves, and hypnotic paintings on the walls
gave Bianca a jumbled feeling inside. It was almost claustrophobic,
but the daylight, which shone in from the lake relaxed her. Bianca
lay on the sofa across from Dr. Kern, consuming the silence as she
stared at the ceiling. She reflected on the disorientation of her
life with a long and drawn out sigh. The only thing that seemed
clear was that she wanted to run from her troubles, her answer to
life's discomfort.

Flee.

Escape.

Evade.

That was how she dealt with difficult
situations. She just simply ran from them. But this time was
different. It was difficult to run from yourself, as she failed to
master that trick.

Dr. Kern wore a heavily-starched pink
shirt, and looked to be in his late forties, maybe even younger.
Despite his receding hairline, Bianca found him attractive in a
fatherly-figure sort of way.

"Bianca?" Dr. Kern said.

So caught up in her thoughts, Bianca
didn't hear him right away. "Huh?" she responded, not completely
oriented.

"Are you still with me?" he asked
her.

"I was just thinking."

"About your family?"

She nodded her head softly as if in
heavy thought.

"Are you sleeping any
better?"

"Not really."

"Maybe I should have something
prescribed for you."

Bianca ignored his offer and out of the
blue, she just blurted out what roamed through her mind from the
moment she set foot in his office. "My sister came to see me last
night."

Dr. Kern sat forward, shocked. "Your
sister?"

"I know, I couldn't believe it either,
but there she was in the mirror looking right at me, just as
beautiful as always."

"What did she say?"

"She said that she missed me and would
visit me again soon."

For a quick moment, she wondered if she
had made a mistake in sharing this information about her sister's
visit with her doctor. He was certain not to believe her, but it
didn't matter. She knew what she saw, and that was all that
mattered.

Bianca closed her eyes a moment, then
sat up as if experiencing an epiphany. "It's been months since my
family died and since then, I've been living this dull life, just
varying degrees of boredom and gloom. There is absolutely no
excitement."

"What do you want to do about it?" Dr.
Kern asked in his famous nonchalant tone.

"I'd like to be someone else, if only
for one day," she said with a smile. "Someone different, someone
like my sister and do things only she would do."

"But your sister was murdered, wasn't
she?"

"Yeah," Bianca said as if remembering.
"But at least she knew how to have fun."

Bianca glanced at Dr. Kern, waiting for
a response to her statement, but nothing. He was as dry as a nail.
As Bianca enjoyed the silence, she seemed more concerned with the
excitement that her sister experienced than her sister's tragedy.
It was only because Bianca was no stranger to tragedy, and it was
now time for the excitement.

Chapter 2

BIANCA RELAXED IN HER ALL white,
sanitized kitchen, the only room in her apartment not purposely
sprinkled with the color red. Red was her favorite color and not
only because red was such a daring color, but more importantly, it
was her sister's favorite color. She read through the pages of her
inspirational book, This is Your Life, renewing her positive
spirits with each sentence. Her blue funnel of despair was trying
to tell her something: that she needed to do something, something
different, no matter how outrageous. It was her recent session with
Dr. Kern that offered her a new perspective. Somehow, it was during
the time in his presence that new ideas came to her, and suddenly,
her life didn't appear as dismal as before. She found it strange
how an idea, even without all the necessary details, could stir so
much excitement in her and award her so much hope.

Bianca poured herself some red wine
from the bottle on the table, and just as she drew the glass to her
mouth, she heard the voice of her sister, Sandy.

"Biancaaaaaaa?
Biancaaaaaaa?"

Bianca slammed the glass down, almost
breaking it and raced into the front room. "Sandy?" Bianca stood
before the hall mirror and right before her eyes, she saw the image
of her beautiful sister, Sandy.

"How are you, Bianca?"

"I want you to come back, Sandy. I miss
you."

"I wish I could. But I can't. Besides,
you don't need me anymore."

"Yes, I do."

"You only think that you
do."

Bianca was silent for a moment, soaking
up the presence of her sister. "I've been thinking a lot about you.
And mom. I never got a chance to tell mom how much I loved
her."

"She knew you loved her," Sandy
said.

"She did?"

"She did. She always knew."

"I will never forgive dad, though, for
what he did," Bianca said. "Never."

In the midst of enjoying her sister's
company, Bianca was startled by a knock at the front door. And as
mysteriously as the image of Sandy appeared, it soon
disappeared.

"Sandy? Sandy?" Bianca called
out.

But Sandy was gone.

Again, a knock at the door echoed
throughout her apartment before Bianca could reach it. Her first
thought was that it might be her good friend, Lee, because anyone
else would usually ring upstairs first for entrance into her
building. Though her lobby door remained locked, Lee managed to
always find a way upstairs without calling up first, something that
remained a mystery to her.

Upon opening the door, Bianca saw no
one. Instead, she spotted a pint of her favorite Vanilla
Haagen-Dazs ice cream at the foot of the door and a warm smile
flashed over her face. "Come on out, Lee," she said, as she picked
up the ice cream.

From around the corner, Lee trotted, as
only he could do, so sneakily. He was thirty-three, slightly
shorter than Bianca and sported a dark Kangol hat.

Lee had been engaged to marry Bianca's
sister before she passed away, and in the aftermath, he and Bianca
continued to maintain a sweet and platonic friendship. Though there
was much chemistry between the two, Bianca felt at odds with
carrying on a relationship with someone who was once engaged to her
sister. And there was something else. Though she hated to admit it,
she had major reservations about dating someone shorter than she
was. She would forever keep that to herself, however, the same, it
was the cold hard truth.

It was her sister's engagement to Lee
that connected them, and it was her sister's death that would
forever keep them intimately apart.

"Hey, Sunshine," Lee said, carrying a
beautifully wrapped gift box. It wasn't uncommon for Lee to bring
gifts with him whenever he came to see her. Though she always
welcomed his cute gifts, she found herself more concerned with his
Houdini ability to bypass the security door in her
lobby.

"How is it that you always manage to
get up here without calling up first?" she asked him.

"There's always someone coming in or
out. This is a very busy building."

As he shed his leather jacket, he
kissed her lightly on the cheek.

"I didn't expect you until this
weekend," Bianca said.

"As cold as it is here, I missed this
city, and I missed you."

"And how is your father?"

"Fantastic as always."

Bianca sat across from Lee at the
oval-shaped kitchen table, and dipped her spoon into her ice
cream.

"So how have you been?" he asked her.
"Have you been doing all right?"

"You act like I'm a basket case or
something. I'm fine, just bored as always."

A faint, sneaky smile appeared on Lee's
face. "You need a husband. That's what you need."