Choices (49 page)

“Seeing you in New York, I knew you were pregnant. I just couldn’t cope with it. I was distracted by Beth but I knew, in the deepest part of my soul that only you touched, I knew that you were pregnant but I chose to ignore it because I thought you didn’t want me. I couldn’t stand the rejection so I focused on Beth. Her situation was so consuming that it took my conscious thoughts off you but at night,” He let out a deep sigh, “at night, I had dreams of you too, making love to you, you giving birth, holding and feeding the baby. It was torture
, but a beautiful torture.” I sat up with him and ran my fingers down his spine. “Then when Paul contacted me and told me what happened, nothing was going to stop me from coming to you. Nothing.” He whispered fervently.

“We’re together now. I hope.” I asked tentatively. He twisted and held my face in his hands and kissed me, kissed me with a passion that stopped my heart.

“I can’t believe you’re asking me that! I love you Laurel. Nothing is ever going to take me from your side. Nothing! But I am curious about why you lied about being pregnant again.” I had almost forgotten about all that and I was reinvigorated with a new energy.

“Oh My God, Brandon! You don’t even know the half of it!!
You have an entire family right here, Brandon, right here.” I sat up and curled my legs underneath me.

“What are you talking about?” He turned to face me
now completely.

“Brandon, your mother is
, or I’m sorry was, Mitch Reynolds’ sister.” He looked at me confused and furrowed his brows. “Brandon! My friend Kristy’s husband, Mitch, his sister, Jenny was your mother, and your father is my friend Joni’s husband’s brother, Todd Goldberg.”

“Whoa, okay, hold on. My parents were the teenagers in the news clipping who happened to be your friends’ relatives?” He scratched at his head and sighed. “Did you know them? My parents I mean?” He looked so hopeful and like an eager little boy hoping to go fishing even though the weather was bad.

“No. They were older. From pictures I’ve seen they were stunning. You know the type, the beautiful, smart people you really wanted to hate but couldn’t because they were so nice. I really didn’t get to know Mitch’s family until Kristy and him were really serious and by then Jenny was already gone. I didn’t know the Goldbergs; they moved to area the beginning of Todd’s senior year. Gosh, that must have been hard for him but if he was anything like you, which I’m sure he was, then I doubt he had any trouble fitting in. Since, he fell in love with one of the most beautiful girls in the senior class then I’m sure he was fine.” He smiled and hugged me close to him.

“I still don’t understand why you lied about being pregnant.”

“Well, this is where it gets even ickier. I lied because the name on the back of the news clipping was my other friend’s husband. George Wellington, Bonnie’s husband. Apparently, he was the doctor on call when your mother gave birth. He missed the crucial information that she had dilated cardiomyopathy and waited too long for her to give birth. You were going into distress and her heart was failing; had he known right away of her condition they would have performed a C-section immediately without her suffering the stress of hard labor. The nurse, Sharon, who was my neighbor, noticed that he overlooked this information. At the time, Sharon was your mother’s, Jo, I mean, neighbor. Jenny died in the delivery room, Sharon saw it. Jo forced Sharon to help her and Sharon blackmailed George to falsify certificates and Jo left with you.” I paused to take a breath and he nodded at me to continue. “When we got home from the farm that day, I went downstairs to feed Noah, and I was in the bathroom when I placed the phone call to the number on the back of the news clipping. I was shocked, trying to wrap my brain around everything and…”

“And that’s when I came in to check on you and saw that you looked like you were going to faint. Jesus, Laurel” He smacked his forehead. “Jesus Laurel, you were freaking out about just finding out that your friend’s husband was involved in this whole freaking mess and here I come pressuring you into telling me what’s wrong and why you looked so sick.” He cringed and hugged me again. “Oh, Laurel, I’m so sorry. You had no choice but to lie to me to buy yourself more time to figure this whole thing out right?”  I nodded my head and bit my lip.

“I’m sorry.”

“Wait a minute. T
he whole ordeal at the hospital? That was because of George wasn’t it? He found out didn’t he?” He was up now, drawing his shorts up his legs, tugging me up with him and frantically looking for my scrubs, finding them and helping me into them. “Laurel, we have to go! We have to tell the police. I wasn’t able to tell them anything. I didn’t know.” He slowed down suddenly as if someone ripped out the battery from his battery pack. “That’s twice now you’ve risked your life for me. Twice! You did this all to protect me, didn’t you?” He gathered me up into his arms before I even had a chance to say anything. “IF I EVER GET MY HANDS ON THIS CREEP!!” He was seething now and moving like lightening.

“Brandon, wait, slow down. Tell me if the police ever found George at the scene. I don’t know what happened.” I managed to get him to focus and look at me.

“No, they didn’t find any trace of him.”

“Well, if they didn’t find him there isn’t much we can do now is there.”

“No, but, Laurel…”

“Listen to me Brandon, what’s done is done. We have each other. All we can do now is keep moving forward, love each other, love our children, our family and our friends and start a new life. I’ll introduce you to Joni and Todd and Kristy….” My voice trailed off and I started to cry again.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” He hugged me to him. “Why do I have a sneaking suspicion that George is involved with Emily’s disappearance?” I was so upset again I could only nod.

“Jesus! This guy doesn’t quit does he?”

“No, it was a matter of covering up Jo’s tracks again. She wanted insurance that you would never know. She wanted to hurt me the way I had hurt her.” He looked confused.

“What do you mean?”

“She forced George to take Kristy’s baby, Emily, to watch me hurt the way she was hurt.”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“I took you away from her. She wanted to hurt me and those I loved by taking Emily away from her mother and watch as I knew what happened and couldn’t do anything about it.” He held my face in his hands and leaned his forehead against mine.

“I am so sorry.” He whispered. “I had no idea how sick and twisted her perspective on life was. I had no idea.
She was always a good mother, a little overprotective but who isn’t. I knew I was loved.” He sighed and let out a cry of helplessness. “I had no idea. I’m so sorry. I’ll make it right Laurel, I’ll make it right.”

“Shh.” I pushed back the cascading waves that
were filled with leaves and small, tiny twigs from his cloudy blue eyes, kissed his forehead and told him, “You already have Brandon, you already have. Now, let’s go home.”

Another two months later and I was sitting in the window seat of our bedroom waving goodbye to the kids as Paul took them to his house for the weekend. Our bedroom faces the back of the farm so we could see the beautiful sunsets I loved so much. He walked the children out of the back door so they could wave goodbye. Paul turned looked up at me smiled, winked and waved. I had just finished my latest journal entry. I noticed by the date that I’ve been neglectful with my entries. Big surprise, there!

August

I can’t believe I’m sitting here
, here at the farm, getting ready to nurse a baby, Brandon’s baby. I think this is the first time I almost feel at a loss for words for this entry. Usually, my entries have always helped me to make sense of things but this time, this time, I can’t find the words. It’s all so overwhelming, how I found Brandon, how I lost Brandon, wounded not once but twice, the birth of a new baby, Paul’s amazing transformation, the recaptured love of a teenage daughter, a new beginning for me and Brandon, a new family for Brandon to love, and the loss of a very dear friend, a friend who was more like a sister. This one pains me the most but I think living a life without Brandon would have been more painful.   Did I have a hand in this? Is this really my life now? If someone told me a year ago what was going to happen to me, I would have told them they were nuts!! All events have been spectacular. It’s difficult to say which one is the most. It’s like ranking your children; how unfair is that yet it happens. Of course, being blessed with the chance to assist God in a miracle yet again at the age of forty is phenomenal. What saddens me is that Brandon didn’t get the chance to see Noah grow on the inside, but really the important thing is that Brandon will be here to watch him and help him grow on the outside. The next biggest phenomenon is Brandon’s new family. I’ve spoken to Mitch, he understands, Kristy isn’t there yet. He doesn’t want to upset her and I understand that so we decided to give her more time and maybe then we can schedule a face to face meeting. Brandon and Mitch have spoken on the phone. After the conversation, I simply held out my arms and Brandon collapsed into them, sobbing with pain and joy. Meeting Marc and Joni helped ease some of the pain. He’s beginning a tentative relationship with Marc and his family.

Paul’s transformation is something I thought I would never see in this lifetime. I am so proud of him and so thankful he has his life
on track now. Things happen for a reason. Helen always said that. Sometimes I thought she was just plain crazy. It’s applicable to my marriage with Paul, undoubtedly. Life is unpredictable at worst and glorious at best. It’s also full of choices, some good, some bad but choices nonetheless. The power of free will to make a choice whether good or bad is one of the biggest blessings a person could receive. Someone’s hungry. It’s time to go.

So here I stand waving goodbye to my ex-husband and my children I was blessed to have with him, looking out the window and marveling at the beauty that has surrounded my life now, trying to wrap my head around the last three months. Everything happened so quickly, so unexpectedly. Life is like that though, isn’t it? It comes upon you like a tidal wave and all you can do is find someone to love and someone who loves you back and hold on until the waves subside and you can come up for air until the next round begins. Paul’s life has been saved. Brandon has a family he never knew existed. I have a love that makes me feel reborn and I’ve been blessed with another child at the age of forty. I never saw that one coming!

“A penny for your thoughts? I know this gorgeous red head
that uses this expression all the time. She’s really hot too, smoking hot, especially when I see her feeding my son, I can’t seem to keep my hands off her and the funny thing is I know how much she likes it too.”

He came up behind me and circled my waist with one arm and held the baby with the other while
, in fact, I was nursing him. My knees were spread and planted firmly into the window seat. Brandon quickly removed my yoga pants from my waist and ground his hips into my backside and before I could take a deep breath he had us both, the baby and I, in the tightest grip. He slipped quickly inside me, with one arm encircling my arm that held onto Noah and the other arm traveling slowly to Noah’s entrance to the world. He stroked and rubbed with every thrust he made while I watched the sun make its silent, slow descent over the multiple rows of corn, streaking the sky with colors you don’t find in the crayon box. For once in my life, I can feel the serenity of the sunset, not just watch it but, actually feel the peace of it. The peace that comes from making the right choice in my heart, even though it was hard, painful and didn’t seem like the right way to go. I let go of my fear of not being in control and trusted that someone would actually be there to catch me when I fall. I also learned that I am worthy of being loved and I can survive being on my own and still be worthy of being loved. It was a difficult and painful lesson to learn - but most hard fought battles are the most rewarding.

“Brandon? We’re in front of the
window!  I’m holding the baby. Be. Careful. He’s. Heavy. Now.” I moaned the last few words with each increasingly, forceful, shattering thrust.

“Shh. We’re on the farm and we’re facing the corn field. Who are we going to offend? The scarecrows?  I’ll be quick. Now, shush. The only thin
g I want to hear is more moaning from you and Noah nursing at your breast. I just can’t get enough of you when he’s in your arms.” He buried his face in my wavy, mass of curls, inhaled a deep breath, tightened his arms around me and surged even harder into my darkest, deepest depths, forging past the folds of skin, the taut and straining muscles and searching for the last remaining dregs of my dilapidated lean-to and banishing it forever.

“
Don’t worry. I’ve got you. I’ve got both of you. And I always will.”

Naples Daily News

Missing Persons Report

Caucasian male, appearing to be in
his mid to late forties with blond curly hair, approximately, 6’3’’ very thin wearing a white tank top and cut off jean shorts found wandering on the Naples Pier, disoriented and confused. Anyone possessing information about this apparent John Doe please contact Naples Police Department.