Christian (The Beck Brothers Series) (15 page)

Christian
laid on his side, half of his body covering Shea
’
s,
his head on Shea
’
s shoulder,
after a fan-fucking-tastic couple of rounds of sex. He felt content and oh so
happy being in the arms of the one man that he loved above all else. He still
couldn
’
t believe
that Shea was his boyfriend. It was a dream come true, something he never
expected to happen in a million years. But here they were, bodies tangled
together, naked and sweaty, and Shea was in love with him.

“
Pinch
me,
”
Christian whispered.

“
What?
Why?
”
Shea chuckled.

“
Cause
I swear I
’
m dreaming.
This can
’
t really be
happening.
”
 
He breathed, spreading his hand out over
Shea
’
s heart to feel it beat
…
thump-thump
…
thump-thump.

“
Oh,
it
’
s fucking real, baby,
”
Shea assured him and pinched his ass.

Christian
squirmed and chuckled.
“
Alright, it
’
s
real!
”

Shea
turned his head and kissed Christian on the forehead.
“
I
love you.
”

“
I
love you, too.
”

“
I
’
m
so glad that I kissed you at Sebastian
’
s
wedding.
”
Shea
chuckled.

Christian
laughed.
“
Yeah, me, too.
”

“
It
wasn
’
t the first time I
’
ve
thought about kissing you, you know,
”
Shea admitted quietly.

“
Is
that so?
”
Christian
smirked.

“
I
’
ve
been attracted to you for years but was always too much of a bitch to do
anything about it. I tried to tell myself that it was only because we were so
close; I mean I was straight, right?
 
But now
…
now
I know that I was never straight - most likely bi, but definitely not straight.
”

Christian
smiled, loving everything about what Shea just admitted and climbed on top of
him while kissing him. Shea moaned and slipped his hands up Christian
’
s
thighs and around to cup his ass.
“
You
’
re
insatiable, you know that?
”
Shea
murmured against Christian
’
s lips.

“
It
’
s
you that I can
’
t get
enough of.
”
 
Christian breathed, kissing Shea more
fervently.

Shea
hardened under him as they kissed and touched. Christian reached back and
lifted Shea
’
s cock so
that he could lower himself onto it. He didn
’
t
need any more lube, they were both still slicked up from the two previous
rounds. Shea gasped and gripped Christian
’
s
hips as he started to move above him. This was their first time in this position;
it had always been one of Christian
’
s
favorites, though.

Christian
pushed up and braced his hands on Shea
’
s
chest. Shea was digging his head back into his pillow as he panted and trembled
under Christian. His eyes were squeezed shut and his teeth bore tightly.

“
Oh
my fucking god
…
you feel so
fucking good
…”
Shea
panted, his fingers digging into Christian
’
s
hips so hard that he was probably going to leave bruises.

Christian
removed one hand from Shea
’
s chest so
he could jerk himself off while he rode Shea. Shea must have wondered where
Christian
’
s hand went
because he opened his eyes and lifted his head to look. Christian moaned,
loving the fact that Shea was watching him.

“
Lean
back,
”
Shea commanded, bringing a
hand up to push on Christian
’
s chest.

Christian
did as Shea asked, leaning back and putting his hand on Shea
’
s
thighs for support before continuing to ride him.

“
Oh,
fuck yes,
”
Shea
growled.

He
wrapped his hand around Christian
’
s
shaft, which was jutting straight up and standing proud now that he was leaning
back, and started to stroke him. Christian gasped at how good Shea
’
s
calloused hand felt stroking him and let his head fall back on his shoulders.

“
Jesus,
do you have any idea how gorgeous you are?
”
Shea rasped.

Christian
couldn
’
t respond.
 
His body was on fire and the only thing
that came out of his mouth was a strangled cry as he came. Shea followed with a
guttural shout. Christian collapsed forward onto Shea, tucked his face in his
neck, while Shea wrapped his arms around him, and stroked the back of his head.

“
Damn,
I love you.
”
Shea
panted.

“
I
love you, too.
”

Christian
sat in the passenger seat of Shea
’
s
truck as they drove to Henry
’
s house for
Michael and Adalyn
’
s first
birthday party. Henry was throwing a big pool party/barbeque with their family,
Claire
’
s father,
and Raelynn
’
s family.
Christian and Shea were going on their fifth month together and everything was
going great. Shea was completely moved into Christian
’
s
house. He was able to sell his house fairly quickly since it was in such good
shape and in a desirable area. And no one - other than Margot - knew that
Christian was gay, or had any idea that he and Shea were more than best
friends.
 
If they did, no one let on
that they knew.

“
Ya
know, today would be a good day to tell everyone about us,
”
Shea murmured as if he knew what Christian was thinking.

“
No,
no it wouldn
’
t.
”
Christian snorted.

Shea
frowned at him.
“
Why not?
Everyone will be there, and you will only have to say it once.
”

“
They
don
’
t even know that I
’
m
gay.
 
I can
’
t
just come out with,
“
Hey, guess
what? Shea
’
s my
boyfriend,
”
Christian
said, incredulously.

Shea
scrubbed an aggravated hand over his short hair.
“
I
just don
’
t
understand why you don
’
t tell
them.
”
He grunted.

“
Because,
Shea, if they decide that they can
’
t
handle me being gay and don
’
t want me
in their lives, that will be the end of me,
”
Christian said quietly.

He
would not be able to live without his brothers and family, he knew that for a
fact.

“
Do
you even know your own brothers? They will not disown you for being gay,
Christian,
”
Shea
argued.

“
I
’
m
just not ready, alright?
”
Christian
sighed.

“
You
always say that. Are you ever going to be ready?
”
Shea asked with a disgusted snort.

“
Dammit,
Shea! You don
’
t
understand! You have nothing to lose! Your family is gone!
”
Christian snapped, wishing immediately that he could take it back.

Shea
’
s
face hardened and he sent Christian a cold glare.
“
Your
family
is
my family, so I would lose
them, too, if they decided to disown you - which they won
’
t
- so I have plenty to lose,
”
he replied
bitterly.

Christian
nodded in agreement, acknowledging Shea was right about him being an honorary
Beck.
 

“
You
’
re
right, but today is not the day,
”
Christian said tightly as they pulled up Henry
’
s
long driveway.

Shea
parked and Christian moved to open the door, but Shea grabbed his arm.
Christian turned to look at him, his heart dropping into his stomach when he
saw the sad look on Shea
’
s face.

“I’m giving you a week. If you don’t tell them by the end of
next week, then I’m done. I will pack up my shit and leave,” Shea said, his
voice low and serious.

Christian’s eyes widened slightly. “You don’t mean that,” he
hissed.

Shea let him go. “Try me. I love you, Chris, but I’m not
willing to live in hiding my whole life.”

“You can’t be serious.” Christian frowned.

Shea shook his head. “I don’t want to hide anymore. This
party is going to suck for me because I have to keep my distance from you, act
like I’m not in love with you. It’s fucking ridiculous, Christian. We’ve been
together for five months, and I plan to spend forever with you, so your family
is going to have to find out sooner or later.”

Christian felt his panic rise. Shea was serious. Not that he
didn’t have a point, his family was going to have to find out sooner or later,
but why couldn’t it be later? Like maybe after he was dead and in the ground?

“Please, Shea, not today,” Christian pleaded softly.

“One week, Christian,” he muttered then got out of the
truck.

Christian watched the love of his life walk up the front
steps of Henry’s house and disappear through the door. What the fuck was he
going to do? How could Shea make him choose like this? How could he be so sure
that Christian’s family would be okay with it? There were so many questions and
emotions running through Christian’s head. Shea was right about one thing,
though - this party was going to suck.

Shea prayed to god that Christian didn’t call his bluff,
because honestly, he didn’t think he could leave him if he decided not to tell
his family that he was gay. Shea only wanted to light a fire under his ass and
he hoped it didn’t backfire on him. Shea was thinking that Henry, Sebastian,
and Quinn already suspected Christian was gay; they had made a few odd comments
that last few times that he’d seen them.

Shea left Christian in the truck, stunned, and went into
Henry’s very large, very gorgeous house. No one seemed to be inside, so he
walked through and went out the back door.

“Shea!” a few people called, happily.

Quinn was the first to greet him and hand him a beer. “Hey,
man, where’s your other half?”

Shea chuckled. “He’s coming.”

“Shea, my brotha from another motha!” Sebastian exclaimed
and gave him a man hug, which consisted of a handshake and a shoulder bump.

“Hey, Sebastian,” greeted Shea.

“There he is,” Quinn said, making Shea turn to look as
Christian walked out the back door.

Shea felt a twinge of guilt as he caught the sallow complexion
on Christian’s face. It was his fault that he looked like that after all. His
anxiety was probably through the roof right now. Shea almost went to him to tell
him that he was taking back everything he just said, but he needed to stay
strong because Christian needed this push. Christian’s eyes met his and mixture
of emotions in them broke Shea’s heart - angry, confused, desperate, hurt, and
lost. Shea wished he could just pull the man into his arms and tell him that
everything was going to be okay, but he couldn’t, not in front of all of these
people, and not when Christian was so adamant about not saying anything today.

Shea watched as Christian put on a fake smile and greeted
everyone. He could also see that Christian’s brothers were watching him closely.
They knew something was up. Christian was not good at hiding his feelings, and
if Shea saw everything that was in his eyes, then his brothers did, too.

“Shea, thanks for coming, man,” Henry said, walking up to
him with a warm smile on his handsome face.

Shea smiled in return. “Thanks for inviting me.”

They shook hands and Henry moved to stand next to him,
turning slightly so that his back was to where Christian was standing, saying
hello to his parents.
 

“Did you and Christian have a fight?” he asked quietly.

Shea snorted and took a sip of his beer. “Can’t get anything
past you guys, huh?”

“If it wasn’t for Christian’s face and the way he looked at
you, I never would have known. You didn’t give anything away, he did,” Henry
murmured.

Shea nodded. “Yeah, we had an argument.”

Henry cocked his head slightly. “What about?”

Shea shook his head. “Nothing, don’t worry about it.”

“Bullshit,” Henry replied, his eyes narrowing suspiciously.

Shea sighed. “Listen, Henry, if I could tell you I would,
but…” he trailed off, glancing at Christian over Henry’s shoulder.

Henry frowned and glanced back at Christian, too. “What the
fuck is going on?” Henry whispered demandingly when he turned back to look at
Shea.

“Just…just forget it for now, Henry, please,” Shea said,
pleading with his eyes for Henry to drop it.

Henry stared at him hard for a moment before giving him a
curt nod. Shea gave him a thankful look before downing the rest of his beer.
Henry was still watching him skeptically, though. This party was going to be a
nightmare.
 
Shea could just feel it.

Christian stood with his brothers over by the grill and
coolers of beer, while Shea was in the pool playing with the kids. Christian
watched him as he bounced with Mikey in his arms, putting the one year old’s
shoulders under the water over and over, making the kid giggle. Shea loved kids
almost as much as Christian did; he was really good with them, too. Christian
was certain that Shea would make a fabulous father one day.

“Alright, I gotta tell you guys something,” Sebastian said,
pulling Christian’s attention away from Shea.

“What is it?” Christian asked and lifted his beer to his
lips.

“The other night, Rae and I were fooling around, right?
Well, she stuck her finger in my ass while blowing me…”

Christian immediately started choking on the beer he was
sipping at the time. He was so shocked and taken aback by what Sebastian said,
that he sucked in a breath while he was drinking. Christian bent over and put
his hands on his knees as he continued to choke, beer coming out his nose and
everything. Someone put a hand on his back and he could hear his brothers
laughing hysterically.

“Is he okay?” Shea called from the pool.

“Fine!” Sebastian called back.

Someone handed him a paper towel.
 
He couldn’t see who it was because his
eyes were watering so badly from the beer that came up his nose. When he was
finally able quit coughing, he wiped his face and straightened up. His brothers
were still pissing themselves laughing, while everyone else was watching them
curiously.

“What’s the matter, Chris?
 
Have you had fingers up your ass before?
You have haven’t you, you kinky bastard you.” Sebastian chuckled low, giving
him a playful shove.

Christian felt the heat rise up his neck and face. Dammit,
he was not a good liar at all. He just shrugged, not meeting any of their eyes.

“Aw, shit.
 
I
never would have thought that you were that kind of guy, Chris.” Sebastian
smirked.

“Can we not talk about this?” Christian rasped, his voice
messed up from all of that coughing.

“Really? I certainly want to hear more about your freaky sex
habits.” Henry grinned before sipping his beer.

Christian’s face burned and he glanced around, looking for
some kind of exit. He then felt an unwanted anxiety attack coming on hard and
fast. His heart started fluttering, he got lightheaded, and the beer and burger
in his stomach started to turn sour. He swallowed hard and tried to pull in a
deep breath but his lungs wouldn’t expand enough.

“Shit, you guys, now look what you did.
 
You’ve sent him into a panic attack,”
Quinn snapped and grabbed Christian’s upper arm to drag him away from Henry and
Sebastian.

Christian started hyperventilating as Quinn pulled him away,
black spots dancing in front of him and he struggled to stay on his feet. Quinn
wrapped an arm around his waist and led him into the house, where he took
Christian right to the bathroom in the hall on the first floor, shutting them
in and locking the door. Christian gagged and slapped a hand over his mouth.
Quinn rushed him over to the toilet, threw up the seat and got Christian’s face
over the bowl just in time.

“Jesus Christ!” Quinn sighed behind him and rubbed circles
on Christian’s back.

Christian was heaving so hard that he could barely breathe,
and when he was able to draw in a breath, it was loud and ragged. It was a few
minutes before he finally stopped. When he seemed to be finished, Quinn reached
over him and flushed the toilet. His brother then grabbed some toilet paper,
put a hand on Christian’s forehead and lifted his face out of the toilet bowl.

Quinn put the wad of toilet paper up to his nose. “Blow,” he
said softly.