Church Girl Gone Wild (19 page)

It was morning and I was waiting for the cells to open when Officer Blakely's stank face appeared in front of my cell. “Hey, princess, I thought you would get lonely so I brought ya ass some company.”

Antonia stood close behind her, holding a box filled with her belongings, a smug sneer on her face. “What up, boo? You didn't think big sis was gonna let you sit and cry all alone did you?”

I stood in terrified silence as Antonia and Officer Blakely exchanged glances. I knew Antonia'd pull this crap. I just figured I'd have at least a couple of weeks or a few days before Antonia tried to mess with me. I was in no way prepared for this.

Blakely unlocked the cell door and Antonia leered at me as she walked over and placed her things onto the top bunk.

“Y'all play nice,” Officer Blakely said sarcastically as she gave Antonia a wink. “If I hear any yellin' from outta here I'll just assume it's a false alarm.”

The key sliding the lock back into place sounded like a death sentence to my ears. I stood frozen, afraid to make eye contact, afraid to sit down, afraid to breathe.

“You gonna just stand there and play mannequin or you gonna get over here and help me unpack my shit?” Antonia's dark presence seemed to take up the entire cell. “I'm sorry, I'll help you.”

I didn't even bother telling her that the top bunk was mine. There was no point in starting any drama this early on. Ephesians says that we should be humble, patient, and gentle, and so I'd try my best to accommodate her intrusion into my world. I walked over and opened her small box of things, removing her hair brush and folded uniforms. I placed them in the spots where Aeron used to keep stuff on a small shelf over the sink in a corner. Antonia climbed up onto the bunk and watched me like a vulture staring down a small animal from the sky. I could feel the heat from her eyes following me. All the tension was making my hands shake and the muscles in the back of my neck were tense. I recited the Lord's Prayer over and over as I busied myself unpacking. I couldn't bring myself to even glance in her direction.

“You ain't that bad looking, ma. 'Cept for them ugly-ass cornrows. When you get done unbraid that shit. I'on't like it.” She spat her displeasure with my cornrows as if it were disrespectful to have my hair in a way she didn't approve of.

“If I unbraid my hair, I don't have a flat iron or anything to straighten it out. It'll look crazy.”

My body slammed up against the cell wall with so much force I saw bright spots. Antonia had jumped off the bunk and slung me so hard my teeth chattered. She stood in front of me, her fingers digging hard into my shoulders and her nails cutting into my skin.

“Bitch, did you hear me give you a muthafukin' option? You take that shit out. I ain't playing with your little scary ass.” She released me from her grip.

I fought to keep my composure. It took everything I had to keep from crying. I nodded okay and walked on shaky legs to sit on the bottom bunk and started unbraiding my hair. This was going to be worse than I thought. I was delivered from the belly of the whale and dropped straight into the lion's den with no weapon, no shield, nothing but the Word to protect me.

When dinnertime came I was nothing more than a walking zombie. Antonia told me what to do, when to do it, and how. Say and Milan stared disapprovingly as I went to sit with Antonia's group of friends in the cafeteria. The most I could manage to do with my hair was run my fingers through it. My shoulder-length wavy afro was a mess and I was too ashamed to make eye contact with anyone. I barely touched anything on my tray. One of Antonia's friends kept smirking at me like my prison whites didn't exist. She stared like she could see me buck-naked and she was enjoying it way too much.

“Ay yo, Antonia. That's a cute li'l toy you done got yourself. How much for me to play with it for a little while?” Her deep, masculine voice echoed into the empty pit in the center of my stomach. It bounced off of my spine and vibrated up toward my ears as I stared down at my tray afraid to look up.

Antonia's arm thumped heavily around my shoulders as answered her. “Shit, you my people. For you, no charge. Just name the time and place.”

Everyone at the table laughed and started making offers. Some were kidding while others were very serious. I could feel the tears threatening to come down, but I refused to cry. I stared at the food on my tray so hard I could see every grain in the dry-ass rye sandwich they served and I'd counted all twenty-two of my potato chips at least five times. The nervous tension I was feeling was taking its toll on me physically. My mouth dried to the point that I couldn't swallow. I quietly popped in a piece of gum and prayed it would give me some relief.

It was a torturous salvation when dinner ended. I managed to grab a few bits of fruit and some chips from my tray and put them in my pocket in case I got hungry later. I didn't know when these women would make their trades with Antonia for my body but for the moment I was just happy not having to face them anymore.

Back in our cell I lay on the bottom bunk intending to pray and meditate before the evening count.

“Da fuck you getting all comfy for? I didn't say you could lie down.” Antonia leaned up against the cell wall and crossed her arms over her chest.

“What do you suggest I do?” I wasn't sure if she'd take my question as me being a smart ass and I couldn't hide the tremble in my voice.

“I suggest you get ova' here and show me what dat mouf do.” She sneered at me, pointing to the ground in front of her, or did she point at her crotch?

My eyes widened in shock. I knew she couldn't be saying what the hell I thought she was. Aeron had never made me perform oral sex on her so I had no idea how or what to do.
Lord Jesus . . .

“Um, I . . . I don't know how, Antonia.” I stammered out my reply as I stared apprehensively down at the white tiles on the cell floor. I could feel the sweat beading on my upper lip and forehead from my nerves. Maybe she would lose interest if she knew I didn't know what the hell to do. Maybe she'd give up and just leave me alone. I was wrong. I could hear the fabric slide in the silence of the cell as she pulled off her cotton pants and panties. I made the mistake of glancing for just a second and caught her standing spread-eagle up against the wall.
Looooooord Jesus, if you've ever delivered anyone please deliver me.
I prayed in earnest, fervent silence, my lips moving quickly and silently.

“Guess you 'bouta learn then. Bring ya ass ova' here.”

Never in a million years would I have ever pictured myself in this type of situation. If I said no she'd have probably beat me to death. If I did it, I didn't have any idea how to do it right so she'd have probably gotten pissed off and still beat me to death. Reluctantly I got up off the cot and kneeled in front of her. I hadn't made any kind of direct eye contact with her out of fear that I'd see a punch or a slap coming.

“Okay. Now, eat dis pussy like it's your last meal. You ain't eat dinner so I know your ass hungry.” She grabbed me by the back of my head and pulled my face toward her.

I made the mistake of letting my eyes focus on her privates and my immediate reaction was to pull away. My face balled up in disgust. Had this heffa never in her life heard of a razor or Nair? I stared in horror at the tangled mass of curly black hair. I couldn't believe she seriously wanted me to put my mouth there.

Her hand was painfully tight around the back of my neck as she guided my face closer and closer until I could feel the soft, thick curls tickling my nose and my chin. The praying began in my head even though it felt more like a monologue.

Cringing, the only thing I could think to do was squeeze my eyes shut and move my mouth in a Pac-Man motion. I was trying my best to not taste or get my tongue on anything. Antonia moaned and spread her legs farther apart at the contact of my mouth on her naked skin. I'd been trying to hold my breath and made the mistake of inhaling. I swear the scent of unwashed woman parts stung my nostrils, probably singed off every hair, and stained my upper lip. I felt a gag coming. Trying to hide my dry heaves as I fought for air made me lose all thoughts of the gum in my mouth and there was just so, so much hair. Before I knew it I'd actually managed to Pac-Man-style “nom nom nom” my gum all up into that mess. I stopped and leaned back in shock. Antonia looked down, trying to figure out what caused the interruption.

“What the fuck?” she yelled down at the tangled mass of bright pink watermelon gum intertwined all up in her black curls. I silently giggled as a slow smug smile spread across my face.

That'll teach your ass to try to force
-
feed someone when you ain't even got the sense to keep that mess tidy.

I already knew the blow was coming before it made contact and the world went black. But at least it was worth it.

When I came to it was dark in the cell. I wasn't sure how long I'd been lying unconscious on the floor. I also couldn't believe they had done a count and didn't notice I wasn't outside my cell. Officer Blakely probably handled that, I was sure. I groaned; my head throbbed as I tried to sit up and I glanced around for Antonia timidly.

“You thought that was real fuckin' cute didn't you?” she asked calmly from her perch up on the top bunk. She sat there and stared down at me with an unreadable expression. It was nerve-racking not being able to tell if she was angry, or feeling vengeful.

“It was an accident. I forgot about the gum. I'm sorry. I

. . . I was nervous.” My voice was barely above a whisper. Talking just felt like it would make my head hurt worse. Talking could also get me hurt a lot worse if I irritated Antonia.

She hopped down and I visibly cringed away from her. “Well, princess, it's your turn. So strip the fuck down. I'm gonna teach you what to do, so next time you'll do me right.” She shook her head disapprovingly. “Tsk tsk, my sister should have schooled you better than that.”

I felt disgusted by the thought of her mouth on or near me. Even though she looked so much like Aeron, her persona and her demeanor made her ugly in comparison.

“Um, I need to pee. Can I freshen up real quick?” I asked nervously. Even though she ain't have a right to say anything, she sure as hell wasn't going to talk about my stuff smelling or tasting any which kind of way.

“Just hurry the hell up.”

I was relieved after she barked out her approval with her face scrunched up in a frown. She turned, pulled a magazine from under her pillow on the top bunk, and adjusted so she could see it under a small slit of light that shone into our cell. I slowly made my way over to the toilet as my mind quickly tried to spin up some sort of plan. Curly black hairs were scattered all over the inside of the toilet bowl. Apparently Antonia had no choice but to cut all that gum out of her hair. I couldn't help but smile. My triumph was short-lived though.

“I said hurry da fuck up. I ain't tryin'a be up all damn night.”

Antonia's harsh tone snapped me out of my moment. She put the magazine away and started undressing with her back to me, and I took that as a chance to clean myself up and also remove my uniform. I walked over to the bottom bunk and lay down. She stood over me with her arms leaning on the top bunk.

She stood there staring down at me while I fought the urge to scoot as far away as possible. I was worried one of those little white deodorant clumps dangling from her armpit hair would fall and, given my luck, it would land right in my eye or something crazy.

“Damn, girl, you got some pretty-ass titties. Shame they always hidden all up under that uniform.” A smile spread across her lips.

I'd started to say thank you, but wasn't sure if that was a real compliment or if I was supposed to take it like one. The entire situation just felt awkward and she didn't help standing over me staring like she was.

Without warning her heavy self fell on top of me and she kissed me while roughly running her hands over body up toward my breasts. I closed my eyes and tried to find the energy Aeron had sparked in me but it just wasn't there. They looked the same, but nothing about Antonia felt the same as when I was with Aeron. She pulled her lips away from mine and sucked and bit hard into the side of my neck. I winced and involuntarily my hands flew up to push her away.

Antonia just laughed and pinned my hands above my head as she slid her body in between my legs and bit hard into my skin everywhere that her mouth could reach. I clenched my teeth as tears slid out of the corners of my eyes, but I didn't dare scream or cry out.

When she was done with what I guessed was her crude version of foreplay, Antonia released my hands and sat back on her knees between my legs.

“Now, I'm gonna show yo' ass how to eat pussy.”

My entire body tensed in anticipation of the pain I knew was coming. She palmed my butt cheeks in each hand and pulled my hips into her face. Her teeth grazed my clit lightly before her mouth fully opened and I was completely caught off guard at the jolt of heated lightning that shot through my body. She stiffened her tongue and plunged it inside me as far as she could and all the air flew out of my lungs. Small white sparks discharged behind my eyelids that got larger each time her tongue slid out and back in again. The woman had to do some kind of oral-strengthening exercises on a regular basis. I could almost guarantee that she must have eaten pudding cups without a spoon damn near every day of her life. I mentally slapped myself to keep from begging her to keep going when she stopped.

“Damn, girl. You taste sweet as fuck. You got that good-good.”

Her comments were so out of place. Was I supposed to say thanks?

Apparently, no, she didn't need a thanks. I was angry at myself for even enjoying what she was doing. Antonia moaned to herself like a fat kid in front of an all-you-can-eat candy buffet. She was in it more aggressively than she was a few moments ago and at that point I couldn't help it. Closing my eyes the little evil voice in my head began chanting, saying,
just let it happen,
over and over again.

Repeatedly she alternated between licking my clit and diving into my core with her tongue. Dear Lord, the woman was multitasking like nobody's business. The entire time her mouth was moving, she'd let go of my butt and with one hand spread me open so her mouth could get full access to every inch of me.

Her other hand stayed in motion tugging and teasing my left nipple, then over to do the same to the right. My body wasn't under my control anymore. In those moments every nerve ending under my skin was follow whatever orders her mouth gave them, and damn it if my legs weren't shaking. I pulled the pillow over my face to stifle a moan when I felt that painfully delightful stretching as two or three fingers glided inside me. She started stroking me in a “come here” motion that made the fine hairs inside my ears stand up. My eyes rolled back in my head and all I could do was feel. You could call me whatever instrument you want; with her hands and/ or her mouth, she was playing the hell out of me.

My senses were clouded by pleasure and I failed terribly at trying to distract myself so I could listen in case any guards walked through. All I could hear were the sounds of my wetness as Antonia's mouth and hands drove me into a frenzy. All sense of reason completely left me in that moment and I let go and gave in to the throb that had begun to build between my legs. My entire body convulsed and I could feel my walls clench and tighten as I came harder than I'd ever thought possible. The heat from Antonia's mouth was driving me insane and everything felt extremely sensitive. I fought myself to keep from reaching out and pushing her away. She licked and kept licking everything, from my clit downward. I could hear her slurping up my juices. When she covered my opening with her entire mouth and licked and sucked hard the sensation sent me crashing into another spiral of spine-breaking spasms.

Antonia sprang up, her brow creased in surprised confusion. We locked eyes as her hand went to her lips. At first I thought maybe she had a hair stuck between her teeth. She opened her hand and held it up to her lips, spitting a cherry into it. I could see the muscles in her throat working and she licked her lips repeatedly as realization of what I'd done sank in. I slowly slid up from my position and stood beside the bunk. My legs were so shaky, I wasn't sure if it was from cumin' the way I did or from fear of what was about to happen.

“Looks like you got my cherry, Antonia.” My voice was a low, shaky whisper as I stared her right in the eyes.

“What. The. Fuck?” Antonia was holding her throat and her face contorted as if she was in extreme pain.

From what little I did know about people with severe food allergies I gave her no more than a few minutes before her airway closed up completely.

“Call for help,” she choked out, looking at me pitifully.

I simply pressed my index finger to my lips, and shook my head saying no. “Just relax. I think this'll go a lot smoother if you try to relax,” I whispered.

I quietly put my prison clothes back on and slid the remaining cherries from my pocket and laid them neatly on her bunk. What Antonia hadn't realized when I'd asked to pee was that I'd bitten a cherry in half and smeared the juice on my lips, my privates, and even popped half of it inside. I remembered Aeron once telling me that the only thing she and her sister had in common was their allergy to cherries. Who knew that tiny seed of information would wind up being so colossal?

I grabbed the razor she'd used to shave with earlier and walked toward her with the other half of the single cherry in my palm. Her eyes widened in horror as I pressed the razor to her throat.

“I can finish this off and let you feel this blade run across your throat, or you can eat the other half of this cherry and die quietly.”

I didn't have time for her to give me an okay. I didn't want to risk chickening out. I roughly shoved the cherry in her mouth and watched her fight to chew and swallow. If the coroner did an autopsy they needed to find that other half in her stomach so none of this would point back to me.

Antonia slumped forward on the bed, her face turning a pale white in the dim lighting of the cell. Her chest was heaving hard and she was starting to thrash around as her airway constricted. I sat on the toilet of our cell and watched her intently. I'd just committed murder. How lenient is heaven when it comes to letting someone in who's stained with so much sin?