City of Sin (27 page)

Bee

I love you.
Why can't I seem to make the words come
out of my mouth?
It was a stupid question to ask myself. I knew why.
Because I was scared of getting hurt again.

My head was nestled in the crook of his arms and I was
tracing my index finger along the contours of his six pack. It was okay to be
vulnerable sometimes. Loving him could end in heartbreak, but it could also
lead to something wonderful. I didn't want to be a cat lady. I didn't want to
be scared to put myself out there just because of what might happen. Mason had
asked me to move in with him. Clearly he was just as vulnerable as me. And I
wanted him to know how I felt. He needed to know.

"You said you wanted to be the reason why I stayed in
New York," I said.

He ran his fingers through my hair. "I remember."

"Well, you are."

He laughed. "I didn't mean I wanted you to lose your
job."

"I know." I moved so that my forearm was on his
chest. I rested my chin against my arm and looked up into his dark brown eyes.
I
love you.
I wondered if he could tell what I was thinking. "Are you
going to try to fix things with your parents?" I could feel his chest
tense beneath my arm.

"What does it matter?"

"I just don't see how you could not be speaking to
them."

"You don't really speak to your Dad," he said.

I swallowed hard and dropped his gaze. "That's not
really my choice. It's his."

"I know. I'm sorry." He ran his fingers through my
hair again, but his chest remained tense.

"Whatever disagreement you had couldn't be enough to
make you lose a relationship with them."

"I told you. We had different ideas of what my future
looked like. Which is important to me. And I thought it might be important to
you too."

A future with Mason? That's what I wanted. But his broken
relationship with his parents was the last thing nagging at me. I wanted a
relationship with my dad. But he walked out on me and my mom. He didn't want to
be a part of my life. Mason's parents cared so much about him that they wanted
him to have a secure, happy life. My dad didn't give a shit about what happened
to me. Mason didn't even realize what he was giving up.

I shifted off his chest and sat up. "I want a future
with you."

He stared back at me. "But?"

"What was the fight about exactly?"

"My dad wants me to take over the family business. MAC
International isn't for me, though. I hate finance. And I told him that. But he
doesn't care. He doesn't care about my happiness. I want to be in advertising.
He thought I couldn't do it without his money but..." Mason's voice
trailed off. He sat up and put his hand on the side of my face.
"Advertising makes me happy.
You
make me happy. I don't need
them."

"They're your parents, Mason. It's not about needing
them. It's about the love that you share. They're your family."

He frowned. "My dad doesn't care about my
happiness."

"I'm sure that isn't true. He's probably worried about
the company he started. He doesn't want it to fall apart when he retires. And
he probably wants to know that you and the company will be secure when he's not
there. He's trying to take care of you. And maybe, just maybe, he's as stubborn
as you."

Mason sighed. "You don't even know him."

"But I want to."

"You want to meet my parents?"

"We're living together. Isn't that kind of part of the
package?"

"Trust me, you don't want to meet them."

I bit my lip. I did want to meet them. "I was thinking
about Penny and..."

"Oh." Mason ran his hand through his hair.
"This isn't like that, Bee. I'm sure my parents would want to meet you.
They'll be thrilled that I have a girlfriend. I mean they want me to end up
with some rich snob probably, but they definitely disapproved of the way I have
been living. Before I met you, I mean. Like the clubs and stuff. They'll be
relieved that you're sweet and beautiful and smart and that I'm not paying
you." He pressed his lips together, clearly hoping that I had somehow
missed the fact that he had called me his girlfriend.

"Girlfriend?"

"Yeah." He put his hand on the small of my back and
pulled me on top of him. "I did tell Carter that you were my girlfriend
the other day. It just slipped out. I know we haven't really talked about that,
but..."

"I like the sound of that."

"You do?"

"I do." I placed a kiss against his lips.

He grabbed the back of my head, deepening the kiss. It didn't
matter what was going on with his parents. He had asked me to move in with him.
He had asked me to be his girlfriend. I was on the top of the world. And maybe
I'd be able to help him work out his problems with his parents. I wanted him to
be happy. Something had been bothering him the past few days. The way he
reacted to me bringing his parents up made it seem like that was the problem.
He'd given up his nightlife for me. He'd given up his bachelor pad. I wasn't
going to nag him about this. They'd work it out. And I'd be there for him if he
needed me. I wanted to be his rock. Because somewhere along the past month he
had become mine.

His hand drifted to my ass.

I laughed as he rolled on top of me, pinning my hands to the
mattress.

"Your way or my way?" he asked.

"Your way." I had given him my heart. Tonight I
would surrender my body to him. Not that I didn't want to. I wanted to give him
every piece of me. And I loved everything he did to me because I loved him.
I
love you, Mason Caldwell.
Hopefully I'd find the courage to tell him soon.

***

When I woke up the bed was empty beside me. There were small
red marks around my wrists where the handcuffs had been. Just thinking about
last night made me blush. I quickly climbed out of bed. I didn't have anywhere
to go today, but Mason did. And I wanted to make him breakfast. I didn't want
him to think I was mooching off of him. I'd start looking for a job this
morning too. If I had to find a menial job while looking for the perfect fit I
would. I had worked as a waitress during college. I could do that again. But
this time I was going to hold out on an advertising job as the next full time
position I accepted. No more bullshit stepping stones. And no more bosses like
Mr. Ellington.

I opened up the top drawer of Mason's bureau. I hadn't
unpacked anything yet, but he had cleared this spot for me awhile ago when I
stared spending the night so much. I pulled on a clean pair of jeans and a tank
top. One of the best things about Mason's apartment, aside from him being in
it, was that it wasn't freezing cold. I would have had to wear two hoodies in
my apartment to be this warm in the morning.

Today I was going to tell Mason that I loved him. I wasn't
going to wuss out like I had last night. I didn't know very much about Mason's
dating history. Kendra had said he hadn't had a girlfriend since high school.
But that was information she found on Facebook. It wasn't necessarily true. I
had only ever told Patrick that I had loved him. And I was nervous that Mason
wouldn't say it back. Maybe he had never said it to anyone before. Maybe I'd be
his first. I laughed at the phrase. I definitely wasn't Mason's first anything.
It would be better if I hoped to be his last.

I walked out into the hallway. I froze when I heard Mason's
voice.

"I'll get in touch with my contact on the cheerleading
squad today," he said. His office door was open. I knew I shouldn't
eavesdrop, but he had gotten my attention. Was he talking about the woman from
that club he took me to? The ex cheerleader who had tried to give him a blowjob
right in front of me? The memory made my stomach churn. He told me he had given
all that up. I thought about how she had touched the belt on his waist. I had
never been a jealous person. I guess it had started after Patrick had cheated
on me. It was hard for me to trust anyone. But I trusted Mason. For some
reason, my feet didn't agree with my mind, because I had inched closer to
Mason's office door.

"We won't need a permit for Central Park," Mason
said. "The Knicks already have it. Besides, we'll be using cell phone
cameras and keeping it really simple. The best part is that no one will ever
really know whether it was staged or not."

Silence. My heart was beating fast.
The Knicks
cheerleaders?
This wasn't about him hooking up with that girl from that
club. He was talking about an ad idea.
My
ad idea. Had I told him about
that? I knew I told him I was upset that Jenkins pitch had gotten chosen. But I
never told him about my pitch. I definitely hadn't.

"I already have the actor. I'll call you later with an
update, John. We should be good for next week, though."

John Landry? From Sword Body Wash? My whole body felt cold.
Mr. Ellington had said we lost the account. Had Mason stolen it? With my idea?
How the hell did he know my idea? I leaned against the wall. My coworkers had
heard it. Mason was friends with Jenkins. Maybe...oh my god. I tiptoed away
from his office and into the kitchen. I grabbed my purse off the counter and
pulled my notebook out of it. I flipped through it until I came to the torn out
page.

Mason had left me a note the morning after he had slept at my
place. I ran my finger along the jagged edge of the page. Mason had read
through my notebook. He had read through all my marketing ideas. Is that why he
had been so persistent after I drove away on our first date? Had he just wanted
information about what Kruger was doing? So he could steal clients? For what,
Blue Media or maybe even himself?

I felt cheap. And stupid. Of course Mason didn't actually
like me. He was just using me. I put my notebook back into my purse. He was
Mason Caldwell. And I was just me. He used women for a living. All he knew was
paying women for sex.

When Mason turned the corner and walked into the kitchen I
just stared at him. He came over to me and leaned down for a kiss.

My knees felt weak. I wanted to grab the back of his neck and
pull him down to me. I wanted to kiss him. Because this asshole had tricked me
into falling in love with him. So instead of punching his beautiful face, which
he deserved, I wanted to rip all his clothes off. This felt worse that Patrick.
Worse because I hadn't even guessed what was going on. Mason was right. I was
naive.

I put my hand on his chest so that his lips didn't meet mine.

He smiled down at me. "In the mood for more than
kissing? I think I have time for that."

"You're disgusting." My voice sounded small. Why
did I always sound so pathetic whenever I needed to be strong?

"You didn't think what we did was disgusting last
night." He gave me his panty dropping smile.

"I need to go." I nodded, as if encouraging myself
that I was making the right decision.

"Wait, what?"

"I made a mistake. This was a mistake. I'm sorry."
And why did I always apologize? What on earth was I apologizing for? I turned
away from him. I needed to find my coat and my shoes. I needed to get out of
his apartment. I slipped on my boots that were next to the door.

"Bee?" He put his hand on my shoulder. "Are
you okay?"

I pushed his hand off of me. "Am I okay? Of course I'm not
okay." I could feel the tears falling down my cheeks. I was such an idiot.
I kept falling for the wrong guys. The worst possible guys.

"What's wrong? Baby..."

I put my hand up so he wouldn't touch me. "You know
what's wrong."

"No, I don't. I asked you to move in with me. I asked
you to be my girlfriend. I would have guessed we were in a good place."

"Exactly, Mason. You made me fall in love with
you."

A smile spread across his face. "You're in love with
me?"

"No. I mean yes. I don't know! You tricked me."

"I didn't trick you." He took another step toward
me.

"If all you wanted was sex and information, fine. But I
asked you not to break my heart. You didn't have to do this. You didn't have to
take it this far. You made me fall in love with you."

His eyebrows lowered slightly. "Bee..."

"Don't you dare throw some lame excuse at me. I heard
you on the phone."

I watched his Adam's apple rise and fall. "You don't
understand."

"Were you or were you not talking to John Landry?"

"I was, but..."

"That was my idea, Mason. You stole my idea. You read my
notebook."

"I didn't mean to steal your idea. It just slipped out
when I was on the phone with him. It was the first thing that came to my head
because it's a really, really good idea. I accidentally saw it in your notebook
the other morning. I wasn't snooping, I was just trying to get..."

"Do you think I'm a complete idiot?"

"Of course I don't. You know how I feel about you."

That you really like me?
He was so full of shit.
"And how did you get John Landry's phone number? Is that why you came to
the office that night when I was working late? To steal my contacts?"

"No. It wasn't like that. You know none of this was ever
like that."

"Oh, is that where you drew the line? Not stealing phone
numbers of clients off my computer?"

"Bee, if you would just give me a second to
explain..."

"Is that why you agreed to the blind date in the first
place? Because you knew I worked for Kruger? You set me up."

"I didn't know you worked for Kruger. All I knew was
that you were a secretary."

"So what, you just randomly decided to try the whole
dating thing? You were sick of living your life of sin? What?"

"Bee..."

"What, Mason? Why the hell did you even go on that date
in the first place? You can have any girl you want in this stupid city. Why did
you go on a date with someone like me?"