Claiming the Rancher's Heart (15 page)

No time to think. No time to miss Stacie. No time to wonder if he’d made the biggest mistake of his life.

He’d hoped the pain would lessen with each passing day. Instead it had grown worse. He remembered the sweet love they’d made, the look in Stacie’s eyes when she’d told him she loved him, the strength it had taken not to say the words back.

Because he did love her. More than he ever thought possible. In fact, he’d give up everything to be with her now….

Whoa. The thought took him by surprise, but he couldn’t deny the joy had gone out of his life when Stacie left. Like his father always said: all the treasures in the world don’t mean much without someone you love by your side.

When Kristin left, Josh felt she’d failed to live up to her promise. She’d told him she wanted to live in Montana, and then, after they were married, she’d changed her mind. What he hadn’t realized until this moment was that he’d failed her, too.

Not once had he seriously considered giving up his life on the ranch to move to where she could find work in her field. If he’d loved Kristin the way a man should love his wife, he’d have gone to the ends of the earth with her…

“Wasn’t that a wonderful sermon?” his mother whispered as they stood for the closing hymn.

“Yeah,” Josh said, “it was great.”

Truth was, he only heard bits and pieces of the sermon. Something about pursuing the life you want, not letting yourself be constrained by a spirit of fear…

He knew the life he wanted, and it was with Stacie. Yet, he’d let her walk out of his life without a word of protest. Technically there was no reason she couldn’t have her bliss and him, too. But for that to occur, he’d have to give up the land and the life he loved so much.

He’d never considered leaving for Kristin. But for Stacie…

Could he do it? Could he walk away from his legacy and not look back? Did he really love her that much?

She kicked off her shoes while the computer booted up. In the three weeks she’d been in Denver, reading e-mail from Sweet River had become her reward at the end of long, stress-filled days.

The work at Jivebread had exciting moments, but Stacie felt detached from the customers she served. Not like in Sweet River, where she cooked and baked for the people she cheered alongside at baseball games and worshipped with on Sunday.

She’d called Anna and Lauren last Friday at a particularly low point. They’d been surprised she was having so much difficulty acclimating. Go out with coworkers, they’d urged. Check out a new movie. Join a gym.

Stacie hadn’t been able to make them understand that she didn’t have the heart to do any of those things. Heaving a sigh, Stacie scanned her in-box.

She read the e-mails from Lauren and Anna first. Anna had finally been matched. Lauren was ecstatic. Anna was reserving judgment until she met the guy.

Stacie opened the e-mail from Merna next.

I can’t believe it’s been almost a month since you left. Every day at least one person asks when you’ll be back. The owners of the dude ranches are pressuring me to restart the gourmet meal night. I’d like to, but I don’t have your talent for planning or preparing that kind of food.

I really don’t want to sell to him, but my daughter needs me. If I go much longer without an offer, I may not have a choice.

I hope all is well with you.

Love, Merna

I hope you don’t mind that I got your e-mail address from your roommates. I wanted to let you know how grateful I am for the advice you gave me at the baseball game. When you told me I should become more involved and visible in the community I was skeptical. But you were right. I picked up a few clients by frequenting the barbershop. But when I joined a dart league at Earl’s, business really took off. I realize a dart league sounds rather pedestrian, but I’m enjoying it.

Sincerely,

Alexander Darst, Esq.

Shoving Josh’s image from her mind she returned her attention to the lengthy list of unopened mail.

A message from her brother had sat unopened for several days. She started to click on it, but the growling in her stomach reminded her she hadn’t eaten since lunch. So she clicked on the MP3 file of Pastor Barbee’s sermon instead. Turning up the volume, she headed for the refrigerator.

The sermons had shown up in her in-box every Monday since she’d left Sweet River. She wasn’t sure how the church had gotten her e-mail address, but it didn’t really matter.

While she’d been tempted to erase the first, once she listened she’d been hooked. When Pastor Barbee preached all she had to do was close her eyes and she was back in Sweet River, surrounded by the people and the land she loved. Just thinking of the meadows filled with flowers and the smell of fresh-mown hay brought a tightness to her throat.

Shoving the emotion aside, Stacie opened the refrigerator and pulled out some carrots and celery while the sermon continued. The reverend had chosen a verse from Timothy, something about not having a spirit of fear. As his words continued to fill the room, it was as if he were speaking directly to
her.
She’d left the only place that’d ever felt like home because she was scared. Scared of living near the man she loved, knowing he would never be hers. Scared she’d see him on the street and not know what to say. Scared of hurting even more than she did now.

By the time the sermon concluded, Stacie’s head was spinning. She forced herself to concentrate and opened her brother’s message. After skimming the paragraphs of family news, she read the rest more carefully.

But if it’s my bliss, shouldn’t I be happy instead of miserable?

There was so much to like about Jivebread, so much to appreciate about Denver. But the truth was the Mile High City was no longer home to her.

With or without Josh, her heart, her bliss, was back in that small town in Montana. Now she had to decide if she had the courage to do something about it.

The extended-stay hotel where her former sorority sister was staying was similar to the one where Stacie had been living. The lobby was warm and homey with overstuffed leather chairs and a large stone fireplace. She took the elevator to the third floor, following the signs to Suite 312.

Though Anna had insisted she didn’t need to bring anything, Stacie refused to arrive empty-handed. She’d picked up a bottle of chardonnay when she learned through Anna that Josie was planning to serve fish.

Stacie stood at the door for a long moment, tension knotting her shoulders. This had been such a busy week with many loose ends to tie up. She really didn’t feel like spending an evening making small talk with a woman she didn’t remember.

But she reminded herself, it was the kindness of the strangers in Sweet River that had made such an impression, and this was her chance to pass such caring forward.

Plastering a smile on her face, Stacie gave the door a hard rap.

It swung open almost immediately and Stacie’s breath caught in her throat. She blinked once. He didn’t disappear. She blinked again. Still there.

Dressed in jeans and a chambray shirt, Josh Collins was thinner than she remembered. Lines of tension bracketed his mouth and the hollow look in his eyes was at odds with his bright smile. But he was still the handsomest cowboy she’d ever seen.

“Josh.” Her voice sounded breathless to her ears. “What are you doing here?”

He took the bottle from her hands with hands that trembled slightly. “We’ll open this later.”

“We’ll?” He was staying for dinner? Stacie’s heart fluttered in her throat like a trapped butterfly as he motioned her inside. “This was supposed to be girl time.” She glanced around the room. “Where’s Josie?”

“Have a seat.” He placed a hand on her arm and gestured with his head to a chair in the living room area. “I’ll explain.”

Her skin burned beneath his touch. Dear God, didn’t he realize how hard this—

No.
She stopped the thought before it could fully form. His unexpected appearance wasn’t a disaster, but a blessing. When their paths crossed in the future, the initial awkwardness would be out of the way. They needed to have this conversation no matter how painful. But she really didn’t want an audience.

“Where’s Josie?” Stacie repeated in a voice loud enough to rouse the dead, but the woman still didn’t appear.

“She doesn’t exist.” A sheepish look stole across his face. “It was a name Anna made up. Josie Collier. Josh Collins. Get it?”

Stacie stared at him for a long moment, confusion warring with a rising irritation. “What kind of game is this?”

“I wasn’t sure you’d see me if I called,” Josh said. “So I enlisted Anna’s help.”

“Meaning you got her to lie to me,” Stacie said, her voice heavy with disappointment.

“I needed to talk to you.” His gaze searched hers. “To tell you how I feel.”

Stacie crossed her arms and cleared her throat. “You made your feelings—or shall I say lack of feelings—very clear the last time we were together.”

“You walked out without a word.”

Stacie lifted her chin. “You never came after me.”

He hooked his thumbs in his belt loops and rocked back on his heels. “I wasn’t going to be the only reason you stayed. I’d learned the hard way that sometimes love isn’t enough. But I let you go and I’m an idiot.”

By now Stacie was totally confused.

“I’d have stayed in Sweet River, if you’d asked,” she found herself confessing when he didn’t elaborate further.

“I wanted to,” he said, and the regret in his voice took her by surprise. “But I knew what that position at Jivebread meant to you. I didn’t want you to stay and later have regrets…like Kristin.”

Now, finally, she understood. He’d deliberately made her think he didn’t love her like she loved him. Stacie wanted to rail at him for the pain she’d endured. Tell him he had no right to make decisions for her. Tell him that he was wrong, that she could have remained in Sweet River and had no regrets. The trouble was she wasn’t sure that was true. It had taken moving back to Denver to convince her that Sweet River was definitely where she belonged. She clasped her hands together to still their trembling. “Why are you here now?”

“I’m moving to Denver.” He stepped closer and took her hands in his, resisting her attempts to pull away. “I’ve come to ask for another chance. I thought my bliss was the Double C, but when you left I realized my happiness is wherever you are.”

“You’d move here?” She must have misheard. “You can’t be serious. What would happen to the ranch? And to Bert?”

He smiled. “I kinda hoped she could come with me. As for the ranch, one of my hired men has agreed to manage it for me. I’m thinking we should be able to get back every couple months to check on things.”

Stacie shook her head, hoping the action would help her tangled thoughts make sense. “But what would you do here? In case you haven’t noticed, there aren’t any ranches or cattle nearby.”

He shrugged, seemingly unconcerned. “I’ll find something. What’s important is we’ll be together.”

Stacie opened her mouth and then shut it. She frowned and slanted a glance in the direction of the kitchen. Was that a haze in the air? She sniffed. Then sniffed again. “Is something burning?”

An expletive shot from Josh’s mouth, he sprinted to the stove. Stacie followed close behind. When he opened the oven door, smoke billowed out. Using a towel as an oven mitt, he pulled out a charred casserole.

By the time he’d placed it on the stovetop, Stacie had opened the window. She glanced over his shoulder and wrinkled her nose. “What is it? Or should I ask…what
was
it?”

Josh stared down at the crispy black contents with a crestfallen expression. “It
was
a tuna casserole.”

“But you hate tuna.”

He met Stacie’s gaze. “I didn’t make it for me.”

Their gazes locked and her heart turned over. A warmth that had nothing to do with heat from the stove spread through her body. She finally understood why Josh had come. “You love me. Really and truly love me.”

She couldn’t keep the wonder from her voice. It all fit. Coming to Denver. Volunteering to give up his life in Sweet River. And now, the pièce de résistance: a tuna casserole.

“Of course I love you.” Josh took her hands in his, his expression serious. “That’s why I’m here. I love you and I want to marry you. If you’ll have me.”

It may not have been the fanciest proposal, but she could hear the sincerity in his voice, see the love in his eyes. The cowboy had put his heart on the line. The next step was hers.

The joyous answer rose from the deepest depths of Stacie’s soul. “I’d be honored to be your wife.”

The smile he shot her was blinding. “We’re going to be very happy.”

His hands slid up her arms. Though Stacie longed to melt against him, she took a step back. They would soon be starting a life together and she wanted no secrets between them.

“We
are
going to be happy,” she said, “but you don’t have to move to Denver for that to happen.”

He cocked his head and she could see the puzzlement in his eyes.

“I’m moving back to Sweet River,” she said. “Today was my last day at Jivebread.”

A look of stunned disbelief crossed his face. “I don’t understand,” he said. “Working there was your passion—”

“My heart is in Sweet River.” She gazed up at him. “It’s where I belong. I was planning to return before you came to get me.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” she said.

“I love you,” he said, his voice husky and thick with emotion.

The words were music to her ears. Stacie knew that no matter how old she got or how many years passed that she’d never grow tired of hearing them. “Say it again.”

“I love you.” He pulled her close and planted kisses down her neck. “I love you. I love you.”

She laughed with pure joy and Josh grinned. “Want me to show you how much?”

Though she couldn’t wait to see what he had in mind, Stacie couldn’t resist teasing. She widened her eyes. “You’re going to make me another tuna casserole?”

“Another time,” he promised. “For now, this will have to do.”

As his lips closed over hers, Stacie had no doubt that this would do quite nicely indeed.