Claire Voyant (24 page)

“And this was your make-out headquarters?”

“Nope. Never touched her. I wanted to, but I was afraid if I made a move, she'd hate me and leave. That's why I'm asking permission now. I don't want to do anything that would make you leave.”

I grabbed Drew, placed his arms around my waist, and gently kissed him, rocking to a rhythm of desire that I had never felt before.

Normally a first real kiss is awkward, something you rush, so that you can establish mutual lust, and then explore more interesting territory. But I never wanted this moment to end. I wanted to remember how soft his lips felt. How perfectly they aligned with mine, like a matched set. How safe I felt in his strapping arms, as if our bodies were meant to be joined.

But mostly what I loved was that he did not presume that kissing me also gave him the keys to the kingdom. It did not give him permission to unfasten my bra or run his hand down the front of my
panties. Nor did he presume that I would want to unzip his shorts.

“Thank you.” He brushed my hair from my cheek. “That was…I don't know. The greatest kiss of my life.”

I smiled.

“I swear, if I didn't get to do that, I would have always wondered what it would be like, and it would have killed me.”

“Me, too.”

“There is something about you, Claire. I feel this unexplainable connection, and I have since the minute I saw you in the airport.”

“Me, too.”

“But I don't know…it just wouldn't make any sense, you and me. We're related now. I've been through this a thousand times in my head. You're like the forbidden fruit.”

“No. No, I'm not…. I've thought about this, too. There are no bloodlines here. We're cousins by coincidence.”

“Cousins by coincidence.” He laughed. “Sounds like a support group.”

“This isn't funny…and it's not fair. You can't kiss me like you just did, get me so crazy I want to rip my clothes off, then tell me, you're great Claire, but I can't be with you.”

“You want to rip your clothes off?”

“Well, no. Not if it's just so you could satisfy your curiosity of what it would be like to make love to me so you could get it out of your system, and then go back to screwing Nicole—”
Oops
.

“How do you know about Nicole? Never mind. I know. It was Delia. I swear that girl has the biggest mouth.”

“Shhh. Stop. It's not about Nicole. It's not about anyone but you and me.”

“We don't even know each other.”

“But I know what's in my heart, and you do, too. That's why you kissed me. Because something is happening here, and even though the circumstances that brought us together are bizarre, this is real. Every time I see you, my heart races. My knees get weak. My head practically explodes with this deep desire…. And I know I sound like a Hallmark card I wouldn't be caught dead sending, but I really
believe that we were meant to be together, no matter how odd it appears to everyone else.”

“I don't know what to say…. It's been such a crazy few weeks…. I thought that Marly and I had gotten past all our old problems, but they won't go away…. The whole time I was with her in Bermuda, I was wondering how you were managing. And then I'd think, how the hell am I going to build a life with her if I can't stop thinking about you?”

“Now, that's more like it.”

I kissed him again, and he held me as if he would never let go. But this time I heard music. A strange melody that sounded eerily familiar, yet I couldn't place.

“Do you hear that?” I whispered.

“The music?”

I nodded.

“Are we both losing our minds? It's a like a waltz or something. Where is it coming from?”

I pointed to the sky. “And how weird would that be if we found out it was called ‘My Sky'?”

Y
OU HAD TO SEE THE LOOK ON
D
REW'S FACE WHEN HE DISCOVERED AN
old black cassette tape in the top drawer of his desk. Oddly, it had been there all these years, right under a pack of unopened baseball cards and the invitation to Jeremy Finkelstein's bar mitzvah at the Fountainbleau Hotel.

The cassette wasn't labeled, but when he held it under the light, we were able to make out the scribbled message:
To Drew. Love Pops. March 1, 1987.

“This is it.” His hand was shaking.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I remember it now. It's definitely the tape he made me.”

“We have to listen to it. Do you have a cassette player?”

“Not anymore. That's like trying to find an eight-track player…. I guess we could run out to Target and buy one.”

“You love Target?” I clapped.

“I don't know if I love it, but I'm always running in there for something.”

“Oh, me too. See how much we have in common? Don't they have the cutest things?”

“No, you're the cutest thing.” He stroked my cheek. “Marly would never have been caught dead in a store that discounted.”

“Perfect. Then there's no chance I'll ever run into her…. Hey,
wait. What about your car? Maybe you have a cassette deck in there. I do in mine.”

“No, but you know what? You're brilliant. I'm almost positive Pops' Caddy has one.”

“Great. Give me a few minutes to shower and change, we'll go get his car, and then, if you don't mind, I'd really like to go visit Grams. I'm worried about how she's doing.”

“Actually, she's doing great. I saw her this morning.”

“Are you serious? You went to visit my grandmother?”

“Sort of. I mean, yes, I wanted to see how she was doing, but I went over there to pick up some more boxes. She kind of moved in before we had a chance to clean everything out.”

“Oh. So how is she?”

“Happy as a clam. She's made so many friends already, you'd think she was there for years.”

“My grandmother made friends? Are you sure you had the right apartment?”

“Yeah.” He laughed. “It was the right place. If you want, we can run over there later.”

“I can't believe how wonderful you are. You just got back from a trip, and the first thing you did was something so sweet.”

“It wasn't exactly the first thing I did,” he sighed. “The first thing I did was change my locks.”

“Uh-huh…. Does that mean things with Marly are going to get ugly?”

“If I had to guess? Yes.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“That's a definite no…but here's another thought. I might actually have the cassette player Pops used to make this. If I did, it would be in my room somewhere. I swear my mother threw nothing out, like it was a shrine…. Feel like going through my stuff to look for it?”

“Oh no. I couldn't do that. I wouldn't want to invade your privacy.”

“Nice try.” He tousled my hair. “I already know that you went through my drawers.”

“What are you talking about?”
My acting ability should get me out of this one.

“Delia told me she found you going through my desk.”

Or maybe not.
“Why, that little…”

“I told you she had a big mouth. And you, Claire, are very naughty.” He winked.

“Are you going to send me to my room?” I whispered.

“You mean my room. But that's right—since you were caught trespassing, you should be punished. Unless I decide to give you time off for good behavior.”

“I'd rather have time off for bad behavior.” My hand went right to his crotch, and he laughed.

“Better be careful there. Messing with the judge could get you in trouble.”

“Exactly.” I let my fingers do the talking.

“Whoa. Down, girl.” He moaned. “How about we start with first base?”

“I like first base.” I kissed him. “But I'm also a great home run hitter.”

“I'm sure you are…. But maybe this is a little soon. We should wait.”

“No.” I tugged at his T-shirt.

“No?”

“I've waited my whole life to meet someone like you.” My hand traveled south on a heat-seeking mission. “I think that's long enough.”

“But don't you want the first time to be romantic? Some wine, some good music…”

“This is romantic. We're sneaking a quickie in your old room.”

“I don't want a quickie. I want a longie.”

“We can have both.” I wrestled with his shirt and shorts until they made a heap on the floor.

“Uh-oh. You're making a mess.” He laughed. “My mom's going to get mad.”

“Good. Maybe she'll sentence me to more time in your room.” I lowered his briefs until the very essence of his being was in my hands.

“You…I…This…”

“Shhhh.”

“Oh my God.” He groaned as I fell to my knees. “You don't know what you're doing to me.”

“I think I do.”

“Claire, no, really.” He closed his eyes. “Oh my God. You are amazing…. But c'mon. This is too important not to do it right. We should wait…we need condoms…”

“Third drawer on the left.” I giggled.

“You mean the ones from ninth grade?” He tried not to laugh. “I think they've expired by now.”

I stopped. “You're serious about this. You don't want to make love to me?”

“I'm dying to make love to you. But not here. Not now.”

“Then can we stop at Target and stock up on condoms?” I stood.

“As many as you can fit in the basket.” He kissed me.

“Okay. You're right. We're not kids anymore—we can actually do this anytime we want.”

“Thank you.”

“But will you at least take a shower with me? To make sure I don't fall again?”

“Sure.” He smiled. “I wouldn't want you to get hurt.”

“And, of course, there are still some spots I can't reach….”

“You mean behind your ears?” He swatted my butt.

“Not even close.” I ran my hands down his bare chest.

 

You have no idea how much I love shopping at Target. Or
Tar-czay,
as it's called in L.A. They have the coolest pocketbooks and accessories, and no one can tell that you bought them in a place that also sells light-bulbs and motor oil.

But nothing is better than making a Target run for toiletries and condoms with a man you are so hot for, you're counting the seconds until you can rip off his clothes and rub him down with the whipped cream you bought in aisle eleven.

Drew, on the other hand, had a great deal more integrity than me.
He was not only a man who stuck to his shopping list, but to his guns. Even in the shower he was a man of his word. He kissed and caressed every inch of my body, then dried me off as if I were a tender infant. But he wouldn't commit to the final act, and you know as well as me, a naked man can't hide his rock-hard desire.

How could I not love a guy who showed that much restraint? Or even better, who was such a good little shopper, that he knew that Target's 100 percent Egyptian cotton towels were of a much better quality than the ones sold at leading department stores? I swear, by the time we reached the checkout, I was weak with anticipation.

But no more so than when we went back to his place, picked up the keys to Pops' car, and drove down A1A to the ocean. I couldn't imagine him wanting to go to a crowded beach right now, and sure enough, he took a circuitous route, ending up at a spot not only breathtaking, but secluded.

“You wanted to be a first.” He turned off the engine. “I've never brought anyone here.”

“It's so peaceful…. How did you find it?”

“I didn't. Pops did. He used to bring me here so we could fish. We never caught much. I don't think the fish could find the place. But we'd talk a lot, and he'd tell me great stories.”

“Drew, you were so lucky to have had him in your life.”

“Yeah. He was an extraordinary man. I'm still in shock that he's gone. I can't tell you how many times I've reached for the phone to call him…how weird it was going over there this morning, and having your grandmother answer the door…. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm really glad it worked out for her…but the reality hit me hard. My Pops is gone,” he sighed.

“It's my Popsy, and I'll cry if I want to…” I sang quietly.

That made him laugh. “Claire, I swear, you are amazing. You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen naked, you're sweet, you're smart, you turn sad moments into good ones…”

“That's why I think you should marry me.”

“Are you ever going to let me take charge of anything?” He smiled. “I mean, will you at least let me lead when we dance?”

“I'm sorry. You're right. I'm being way too forward.”

“Yes, you are…but other than that, you're perfect.”

“Oh, then please marry me?”

“Do you mean tonight?”

“Sure.”

“Can't.”

“Why not?”

“Because I have a date.”

“A date!” I smacked his shoulder. “Are you kidding me? You just broke up with your fiancée not two days ago, and you already asked someone out? Is that why you wouldn't make love to me? Because you were saving your strength for Nicole?”

“No, Claire.” He leaned over to kiss me. “It's you. You're my date…. But good to know you've got a jealous streak.”

“Oh my God. I'm so sorry, Drew. I don't know why I keep acting like this.”

“Don't get me wrong. I feel strangely connected to you, for someone I didn't know two weeks ago. And even though I've never really thought much about destiny, I'm starting to think that we were supposed to meet exactly when we did.

“You had done the whole Hollywood thing, and were ready for something different. I was trying to figure out if I was doing what made me happy, or if I was just doing what everyone expected me to do. Get married. Run the family business. Live well….

“Then you came along on what would have been a really sad day, and somehow you turned my entire life upside down and my heart inside out.”

I sighed. Had I ever known a man who could be this honest with his feelings, or so unafraid of showing emotion? Doubt it. But as much as I wanted to jump into his arms and never let go, he was right. Nothing would be gained by my pushing so hard for the relationship shuttle to launch. If it was meant to be, the takeoff would happen without my bringing in a rocket booster.

Which is exactly what I told him, to his great relief.

“Good. Now let's listen to the tape.” Drew popped it into the
cassette player, turned up the volume, and took my hand. Given the great anticipation, we expected to hear something. Anything. But we waited. And waited. And nothing.

“Damn.” He leaned back. “Maybe these things have a shelf life or something.”

“Or maybe it was always a blank tape, and the one you were thinking of is somewhere else.”

“No. He wrote on it. Remember?”

Just as he reached to turn off the sound, we heard a crackling, then a clicking, then a whistling sound, as if someone were blowing into a microphone. “Hullo? Hullo? Testing. Vun, two, three. Testing. Vun, two, three…. I think it's vorking now.”

“Oh my God. That's him.” Drew cranked up the volume. “It's him.”

“Thank God.”

Naturally, I was relieved for Drew. Photographs were wonderful keepsakes, but what could be better than having a grandparent's voice on a tape to replay whenever you needed comfort?

And yet the sound of Abe's voice gave me a chill, as it was the first time I was hearing it. Delia had told me that his accent was thick German. But what she hadn't conveyed was the warm inflection in his tone. His upbeat tempo. His loving words. He sounded just like a grandfather.

“Dis is some music I write for a poyim I love called ‘My Sky.'”

“Oh my God. It is a song! I knew it.”

“This was our favorite poyim. You remember it, Dreweleh? About vaking up every morning and looking up at thi ski? This is a good message for you. Always be heppy to be alife…and lift your head high. You get eh much better view. [chuckle] I love you. Pop Pops.”

“Oh my God,” I whispered, “I love him.”

Tears were already streaming down Drew's cheek when Abe began to play a sweet, delicate melody on the piano. For some reason I happened to notice the waves. It felt as if the ocean could hear the music, too, for it flowed to the same gentle rhythm. Even the clouds glided by in a fluid motion. The perfect synchronization of music and nature. And then Abe sang, his rich voice filling the air of his
beloved Cadillac, the car in which he spent the good years driving to this very spot.

Drew played the tape over and over, and each time it resonated differently for me. Finally, instead of focusing on the words, I listened to the melody, and something struck me. Was it the music I'd heard in my head when I was making out with Drew in his room?

“That was…I don't know.” He wiped his eyes. “Amazing.”