Clearwater Romance (8 page)

“Here’s the first dose of the iron and prenatal supplements the doctor prescribed. You’ll need to drink a lot of orange juice while you take the supplements, so that it will help you absorb the iron.” The nurse handed her one of the little white cups, with two small red pills along with one oblong white one inside.

Tessa turned to grab her cup of water, but Cameron was already there, handing it to her. She tipped the cup back tossing the pills in her mouth before following it with a drink of water.

“Ms. Bradley, if you could sign your discharge paperwork you’ll be ready to leave.”

Tessa signed the paperwork, desperate to get out of there, even if it meant having to face Cameron. She slid her legs off the side of the bed, rising to stand on her feet before the nurse scolded her like a child.

“Oh no you don’t, the doctor ordered bed rest. I’ve got a wheelchair on the other side of the curtain, just stay there while I drop this paperwork off at the door and I’ll wheel you out.”

 Cameron helped her into the wheelchair, and gave her hand a little squeeze as if trying to reassure her that everything would be fine.

She sat there surrounded by her thoughts for a moment.
How am I going to manage the bed rest alone? There’s no one I can rely on to manage the mundane tasks, let alone anything else. I’ll never be able to stay off my feet, completely. There’s household chores, grocery shopping, laundry, the list went on and on.

As the nurse wheeled her out to the car, Cameron walked beside her. All of his unasked questions hummed between them. Was he disappointed in her? She suspected that to be the case, but it was her life. It wasn’t as if she had planned to get pregnant, especially by a man that wouldn’t be around to help her raise their child, but it happened.
No, my baby, my responsibility. I can do this.

In the car, Tessa rested her head against the back of the stiff leather seat. She fought to keep her eyes open. Her stomach still lurched and she wasn’t sure if it was from the pregnancy or nerves. “Where are we going?” She asked when he drove past the exit to her apartment.

Cameron shot her a quick side-glance. “You’re on bed rest, that means you shouldn’t be alone, and no steps. I’m taking you to my place. You can stay with me for now, tomorrow I’ll go over and gather some of your stuff.”

“I can’t…”

“Tess, don’t.” He took his hand from the steering wheel, and placed his hand on her thigh. “You need someone, let me be that someone, at least for tonight. We’ll take tomorrow when it comes.”

His confidence let her relax and she knew it was silly to lean on him, but Cameron always had that effect on her. He took charge and tonight—tonight she wanted to let him. Tomorrow held just as many questions, but at least this day would be behind her. She could begin to figure out how she was going to make a life for her and her child.

Not wanting to wake her, Cameron carried an exhausted Tessa into his apartment. Her body fit against his chest almost as if she belonged. Love and family should never be in the plans for a Marine. If they’d wanted him to have a family he’d have been issued one when he enlisted. Sweat, hard work, and loyal dedication had earned him the title of Gunnery Sergeant. He’d never wanted to commit himself to a wife, a family, not with his job, a job that gave no certainties. Infantry life only left the unknown, especially whether he’d make it back from any mission. Not the type of life he wanted to give a wife—not the life he wanted to give Tessa.

His mother lost her husband, leaving her alone to raise him and she’d never been the same without him. The day he gave his commitment to the Marines he vowed he’d never do that to a woman he loved, yet here he stood looking down at Tessa and thinking that very thing.

Before he lifted her from the car he made sure he had the key ready, he didn’t want to have to set her down if he didn’t have to. Slipping the key into the lock, he pushed it opened, and stepped inside. Kicking the door closed behind him, he didn’t turn on any lights. He knew the layout of his apartment.

In his bedroom, he laid her on the bed. He wanted to do something to ease the tension he could feel in her body. He slipped her shoes off before pulling her dress slacks down, baring the creamy white skin. He pulled the covers up from the bottom of the bed, covering her to her waist, before lifting her gently and tugging the sweater off. He grabbed a t-shirt from the edge of the bed and slipped it on her. If he couldn’t remove the anxiety, he could at least make her comfortable.

Her eyelids fluttered opened, giving him a glimpse of her beautiful blue eyes. The eyes that kept him company through every mission he had been on, the one woman he always came home to. He never told her, determined to let her go because it was best for her. But he was in love with her, and had been since they were sixteen. He realized it years ago, on one of the missions that nearly got him killed. He thought he’d never make it back to her, but he did. Still he couldn’t let his love cloud his judgment, he couldn’t be a Marine and a good husband, not with the possibility of leaving his wife a widow.

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” Sleep coated her voice and her eyes closed again.

“It’s okay. You need to rest.”

“I’m sorry, Cam. I didn’t mean to drag you into this. I’ll be a single parent but I’ll do right by my child, he or she will have everything I didn’t have and be surrounded by love.” She mumbled, sleep trying to reclaim her, but she fought.

“Shh, it’s okay.” He repeated, and tucked the blanket around her.

“I should have known better than to get involved with him, but I swear I didn’t know he was married…”

He’d suspected who the father was. No way would that self-centered asshole admit any responsibility for the child, and he knew Tess would rather struggle than take him to court for child support. She wouldn’t want to give any rights to her child to that bastard. “Tess, it’s okay, just sleep.” He smoothed her hair away from her face, and she opened her eyes again. “I’ve got duty in a few hours. Stay in bed except for bathroom and meals. I’ll be back at four.”

“I’ll be fine. Don’t worry…” Her words were cut off as sleep dragged her under again.

Holding her hand, he stared at her, surprised by the regret that filled him. Regret that it wasn’t his child growing within her now, that it was someone else’s. Someone who’d never cherish Tessa the way he would. He almost lost his chance with her, because he couldn’t see past his career. He wouldn’t let that happen again. He had six days before his deployment and he vowed to convince Tessa she deserved more than what she had. She didn’t deserve to struggle as his mother had being a single mother, especially when he could provide for her, even if it was in name alone.
This is my fault…all those years I’ve denied what is clearly still alive between us. Did my resolve of not wanting to leave a wife a widow drive her to these decisions? Maybe it’s time to retire from the Marines and man up for her.

With fresh determination, he kissed her forehead. “I won’t let you down. I’ll always be here for you and your child.”

* * *

Tessa woke to the sun peeking around the curtains. She laid there a long moment, a hand on her stomach. A small padding flesh where just below her child grew.
Her child.
She still couldn’t get over that in six short months she’d be a mother, a single mother.

She wanted to roll back over, and go back to sleep but her stomach had other plans. It rolled with each move she made. Taking a deep breath, as if that helped the nausea, she twisted to her side, letting her feet drop to the floor. The warm carpet tickled the underside of her feet.

On the nightstand, she found a folded piece of paper with her name on it, and the filled prescription that the doctor provided.

Tess,

Follow the doctor’s orders and rest. There’s food in the fridge. I’ll be back around four with dinner…your favorite.

That was her Cameron, all orders. Even if he could be a strict pain in the ass, she didn’t want to think of her life without him. He’d always been her rock. Somehow, he’d always known when she needed him, it didn’t matter if he was deployed to another country or just around the corner, he’d provided the support she needed to get through some of the toughest patches of her life.

She grabbed one of those little red iron supplements the doctor prescribed and the prenatal vitamin, before she padded her way to the kitchen for a glass of water. The kitchen was one of the best parts of the apartment, they’d spent many hours there, her cooking while he sat at the bar watching her.

Opening the double doors of the refrigerator, she found a plate with food, and a small note on top.
Don’t forget to eat.
As late as they’d gotten in, he couldn’t have managed more than three hours of sleep before reporting for duty. Yet he still found time to get her prescription filled, and prepared her a plate with food. Suddenly hungry she grabbed it, stripped off the clear wrap, and popped it in the microwave.

Minutes later she sat at the bar with her heated meal, her thoughts turning back to the issue before her. Uncertainties weighed heavily on her shoulders, but she had to come up with some solution, the baby growing inside of her depended on it. Each bite of food felt like lead in her stomach. Still, she managed to eat half of the chicken breast, and all of the steamed broccoli before pushing the plate aside.

Maybe I can find a job where I can work at home, resting.
She grabbed the newspaper that Cameron must have tossed on the end table on his way out the door, and slowly made her way back to the bedroom. Fatigue already weighing down her limbs, each step harder than the last, she prayed her whole pregnancy wouldn’t be an uphill battle.

* * *

After depositing the takeout containers on the counter, Cameron went in search of Tessa. He found her in the middle of his king size bed fast sleep. He tossed the duffle bag he packed from her apartment on the floor and slipped out of his jacket, before closing the distance between them. He sat on the edge of the bed, slid the newspaper in her hands away. “Tess, wake up.”

Her eyes fluttered open and confusion clouded her gaze, it seemed to take her a moment to realize where she was. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“Don’t. There’s no need to apologize you need the rest. Hungry? I brought food.” She nodded. “Let me just change and I’ll bring it in to you.”

“No, not in bed. I’ll come out. You change; I’ll see you out there.” She didn’t bother to put on other clothes, the t-shirt he slipped onto her still in place as she slipped out the other side of bed.

He watched her walk out of the bedroom, the gentle sway of her hips acted as a hypnotist chain drawing him in.
Damn she looks good in my shirt.

A changed occurred between them last night, and he couldn’t keep her out of his thoughts, and not all of them were strictly platonic. He wanted her—wanted to touch her, but he couldn’t—no wouldn’t—she meant too much to him.

He needed to change before their food grew cold. He tried to pack away the thoughts of her naked under him. But the tautness in his body rebelled, and they wouldn’t fit back into that tiny box he kept them in. Swearing under his breath, he stripped out of his uniform. No, wanting Tessa filled him and wouldn’t be denied, because of his unrealistic beliefs.

“Cam, are you coming?” Tessa called.

“In a minute, go ahead and start.” He didn’t know why he even wasted his breath, he knew her better than he knew himself and there wasn’t a chance in hell she’d eat without him. She could be dying of starvation and still she’d wait for him to join her before she dug into the food.

She was amazing, and deserved so much better than what he had to offer. For years he had half-hoped, half-despised the idea that she’d find someone and start the family she always wanted. Now, she’d get part of that wish, but he had wanted to see her with a safe man, a man that would love her and protect her as she deserved.

He found Tessa sitting at his small dining table, their meals already dished out. “I would have got that, you’re supposed to be resting.”

“I didn’t have to do much, just grabbed the plates, and silverware. I sat down to dish the stuff out. Even in my condition I think that’s on the approved list of things to do.” She chuckled. “Next you’ll want to spoon feed me…don’t you dare get any ideas.”

“I’d never think of it.” His lips curled up into a smile. “Come on let’s eat while it’s still warm.” He sat down next to her and dug into his sweet and sour chicken and white rice. Chinese food was one of their favorites for an evening in. He looked over at her until she started to eat her chicken and broccoli.

He stalled on small talk as they ate the rest of their dinner; he wasn’t sure what she would think of his plan. He spent most of the night and the day preoccupied, going over the possibilities of what the best way to deal with her situation. Finally, he decided on straightforward plan.
She has to agree. It’s logical. It’s safe.
He’d already put the necessary wheels in motion.

“Since you’re done, why don’t you rest on the couch for a bit? We can put in a movie.” He cleared away the dishes, putting them in the dishwasher.

“I know you have a lot to attend to before you deploy. If you just take me home I’ll be out of your hair.”

“Just go rest on the couch. I’ll grab you a pillow and blanket so you’re comfortable, I’ll only be a second.” When she continued to stand by the table looking at him, he pointed to the couch. “Go.”

Everything cleaned up, he returned with a pillow and the blue and white quilt his grandmother made him. He got her settled on the couch, tucked in and comfortable before he grabbed a beer and sat on the recliner facing her.

“So what are we going to watch?” She snuggled down under the quilt.

“Actually I want to discuss something with you first.” Never in his life had he been so nervous, not even in the worst battle moments of his career. His stomach protested the food. “Just hear me out before you answer.”

“Okay.” Hesitation tightened her expression and her knuckles turned white where she fisted the quilt.

“Marry me—”

“What?” Her voice climbed and she stared at him.

“I thought you said you’d hear me out.” He raised an eyebrow at her. When she remained quiet, he continued. “You’re going to need support over the next coming months. Right now, you’re unemployed, without benefits. The military provides great benefits for us and our families. You can use it to make sure you and your child are healthy. You can also take the time to go back to school, like you always wanted, and build a stable future for both of you.” Even saying the words he hated how they sounded, so cold and uncaring when everything in him burned. He wanted to help her, to see that they were both cared for, not out of some duty but out of love. He loved her, yet he couldn’t tell her that.