Clockwork Romance (26 page)

Chapter 21

I slept throughout the whole night, not waking up once. It’s morning now, and I’m still lying sprawled out on the floor. With the help of my bed, I stand up and clear my head. I don’t have any bad feelings right now, not like the room is about to explode. I can only hear silence. All what happened last night is cemented into my memory, it being the only thing I am able to think about. I feel so foolish, so crazy that I have been dating no one for all this time. How could I have never seen this, never been able to realize Karina wasn’t real?

But Karina was right. I am now ready to start a new relationship with someone who is right for me. That woman is Hannah. If I had tried to date her way back when we first met, we probably would not have lasted too long. All the emotions and struggles I felt when I thought I
was with Karina would have happened to Hannah. She may not have forgiven me, and I would’ve had to start this entire process all over again.

Now I know why Karina came into my life. Everything she said was true. She changed me and helped me give up my previous unsatisfying life for her, but now I realize it was for Hannah. I can’t hate the way it all had to resolve itself, because it was all necessary. Everything I was seeing was designed to keep me away from Karina. I tried to kill her by making her commit suicide once I chose Hannah over her. But that didn’t work. All it did was make me descend further into madness. Is it wrong to still believe that I love Karina? Even though it wasn’t real? I
was in love with a girl who I’ve never even spoken to. I was in love with who I wanted her to be. Oh, man. If I’ve ever had a reality check, this would be the time to say I have.

As I’m rubbing the sides of my forehead, I think about Hannah. What is the next thing I’m going to say to her? I have nothing. I am speechless right now, and she is nowhere around. But, just like clockwork, there is a knock at my door.

“Oh, come on,” I whisper to myself, stumbling to the door. I really hope it’s Hannah on the other side, because I do not feel like doing battle with my mind again. It is Hannah.

“Good morning, Luke,” she says, appearing as though she’s missed me.

“Hi Hannah,” I say as she walks inside, with all my trials and tribulations unknown to her.

Hannah says, “I go to work in a few hours, so I stopped by to see if you’d like to have breakfast with me.”

“Sure. Uh… let me get changed really fast. You can wait on the couch if you’d like,” I say.

“Okay,” she says. I go into my room and pick out some clothes, the ones I just recently bought. I don’t think I’ll wear a jacket today, I’m already hot and bothered, and I don’t need anything else to make me burn up more. “So how’d you sleep last night?” Hannah calls out from the couch.

“Oh, alright. Just… alright,” I say back, putting on a white shirt with thin blue pinstripes and a black tie and pants.

“That’s good,” she returns. I walk around the arch, fastening my tie, and ask,” Are you ready?”

“Yes,” she answers. “Wow, you look like a real businessman. You look nice.”

“I’m glad you like it,” I say, as we offer each other smiles. In this moment, I am happy. Hannah is so beautiful, so smart,
and so attractive to both the eyes and heart.

The next thing I know, Hannah and I are sitting in a café not far from where she lives. I’m enjoying a stack of pancakes with a side of eggs and hash browns, her the same, but with blueberry pancakes. “So you’re telling me that you’ve seen a real live, well not live, ghost?” Guess which one of us said that. It was me.

“Yes,” Hannah says,” It was when I was a little girl. It was at my grandparent’s house, or what’s now their old house. I remember we, me and my dad and my brother, were in a lighted room. And there was a darkened hallway, and at the end of that hallway, I saw a person. It was about the same size as a full grown man. It was someone who I didn’t recognize, and he was almost transparent. Then, after making eye contact with him, he walked into another room. Being just a kid, I ran after him. Of course, if that same thing were to happen now, I would run out of the house scared to death. But instead, I ran down the darkened hallway and into the room I saw it go into. I turned on the light, and there was no one in there. Nobody. And I know I saw somebody because I can still picture it perfectly in my mind. Isn’t that crazy?”

“That’s interesting alright,” I say, taking a bite of my eggs.

“Do you believe in ghosts?” she asks.

“Oh, yeah, I believe in all that stuff,” I tell her. “In fact, I feel like I’ve been seeing some ghosts recently myself.”

“Really? Where?” Hannah wonders.

“Hmm, okay. You see, there’s this abandoned building close to where I live, and the other day, I swear I saw people in the windows.”

“No kidding,” she says.

I continue, “I knew this man a long time ago. We used to talk about h
ow there could be like a parallel world where all of the people who have died are walking among this same world, only we can’t see them. And they can’t see us. Think of it as an overlapping of realities. We were sitting out on the sidewalk on night, looking out into the street, thinking who all could be in front of us. Those who we can’t see. Most people choose not to believe things like that, but I do. I believe it even more now.”

“Why’s that?” Hannah asks.

“Because he passed away a few years later. It’s been so long now, but I still remember him. He was one of the coolest guys I’ve ever met. One of the funniest, too. I miss him.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” she says.

“Thanks. Anyway, like I said, I believe in the supernatural,” I say.

“How about other planets?” she asks.

“What do you mean?” I wonder.

“Do you believe in life on other planets?” she clarifies.

I chuckle at the question but answer seriously. “Of course. I believe that in our entire enormous universe, we can’t be the only planet with life. Somewhere out there, there’s got to be another place with life on it. Now I’m not saying I believe in those little green guys you see in the sci-fi movies and stuff, but I do think there is at least life somewhere else. Whether or not it’s intelligent is a mystery. What about you?”

“I don’t know,” she says. “I see a lot of those videos on the internet of people who claim to catch aliens and UFO’s. Most of them of course turn out to be fake, but I still wish or imagine that some of them could be true.”

Hannah goes on to explain what she believes may or may not be true. But as she’s speaking, I see someone in line at the register. Someone familiar. I can only see the back of her head, but I could recognize her look anywhere. The woman turns her head to reveal her face. It’s Karina.

I’m not sure if it’s the real Karina, or if it’s just another mind trick to me make me go crazy again. Is it really her? Is she really there? I don’t know, but my face is expressionless. My heart has dropped. If there was any time to clear my head and return my life to normal, I need to get up and talk to her. I feel like I’m in high school all over again, only now I’m older. I’m older and better adjusted to the world. And right now, I have no problem getting up and finding out whether or not it’s the real Karina. After all I went through last night, there’s not much I’m afraid of anymore. And if she is real, this is the moment that, who I thought was Karina, told me that when I find her, to make sure to give myself one last piece of closure.
And I need to do this.

“Hannah?” I say.

“Yes?”

“Can you excuse me for a minute?” I ask.

“Sure,” she says, wondering where I’m going.

“I’ll be right back,” I assure her. I get up and begin to make my way to Karina. She doesn’t even notice me walking toward her, which is making me even more nervous. But I’m not the same. I’ve got a new, better life. I don’t tap her on the shoulder, but rather I lean my head forward and say, “Hello?”

She immediately turns to me, but instead of looking confused about who I am, she smiles as if we were good friends. “Hi.”

“Hi, uh, your name is Karina, right?” I ask politely.

“Yes it is. Have we met?” she questions.

“No, no, we haven’t.
But we went to high school together. We were in the same class. My name’s Luke.”

“Well hello Luke,” she says, offering her hand to me, palm facing straight up. “It’s always a pleasure meeting people from way back then.”

“Indeed it is,” I say, shaking her head. “But the real reason I came over here, aside from noticing you and recognizing you, was that I wanted to tell you something. Something that I never told you all that time ago.” Her eyes look so much the same, as if I’m expecting her to snap out of it and recognize who I am. “I really liked you back then, and I never said or did anything about it.”

“I have to say that I’m flattered. Have you kept that bottled up for a whole decade?” she asks.

“Well, it’s also because I haven’t seen you since then, but now that I recognized you, I thought now was a good time as any,” I explain.

She stares at me as if she’s studying me. “Now you’ve got me curious. How come you never said anything?”

“Because I wasn’t the same person I am now. I was shy, unpopular… I didn’t think someone like you would have been the least bit interested in me,” I say.

“Oh, that’s a shame. Well look at you now. You look successful,” she compliments.

“Thank you,” I say. “I am doing well.”

“But, Luke, unfortunately,” she says, raising up her left hand and wiggling her ring finger, “I’m married now.”

“Of course, of course you are. That doesn’t surprise me. And I hope you’re very happy. Actually, I’m here with someone as well. I’m not married yet, though,” I say, wiggling my own ring finger.

“And Luke, I think it’
s nice that you told me that,” she says.

“Take care,” I say, offering one last wave of my hand.

“You too,” she returns, giving a familiar smile as I turn back to sit down with Hannah. I feel much better now that I’ve finally said something to her, and it only took ten years. I take my seat, and as I sit down, Hannah asks, “Who was that?”

I briefly look back at Karina in line, as the guy behind the counter is taking her order. “It was just an old friend I haven’t seen in a long time.”

“Oh,” she replies. I see that now I have made my last piece of amends, which means no more crazy hallucinations. I look at Hannah and a grin expresses itself on my face. I want Hannah to be my girlfriend. “So,” she says, “there was… a reason I wanted to talk to you today. It’s about last night.”

“Is something wrong?” I ask.

“No, no,” she assures me. “On the contrary. I want to know how you feel about… us.”

“Okay then,” I say, “I’ll tell you. But first, I want to ask you something.”

The following December, Luke and Hannah remain a happy couple. At this point in the relationship, they have both decided to move in together. Luke chose to move into Hannah’s apartment. That way, not only would he be closer to his dream life,
but he would also be leaving more of his past behind him. Luke lives with no guilt, no weighted feelings of remorse for anything that contributed to his past. He is happy.

At the moment,
Luke’s old apartment is full of boxes as he is packing all of his belongings to take with him to his new home. He has decided to even take the couch, along with most of his furniture, but chose to leave the bed. All of the money that was in his safe is now in a bank account. The total, still over a hundred grand. He doesn’t spend excessively, but one day, that money will come in handy in starting his own business and fulfill his dream of having a family and living in a house on a hill. The day Luke made amends with Karina, he tossed the key to his underground cellar down the drain in his bathroom sink.

Luke is halfway done with the process of moving out, still having a few more things in his apartment to pack up. Hannah comes in and tells Luke, “Hey. My parents are in town for the holidays and all my family is getting together at my grandparent’s house tonight. I want you to meet my family.”

“That sounds like fun,” he says, taking a break from packing things into boxes. “Are you ready to go to work?”

“Yeah,” says Hannah in a pair of sc
rubs with teddy bears on the shirt.

“Alright. I’ll finish up with this later. Let’s go,” he says.

They both exit the room, leaving it empty. Silence overcomes the room now, the peaceful kind. But there is one item still remaining untouched in the room. Two, actually. On top of Luke’s dresser, there is a necklace with a silver chain and a diamond and amethyst pendant. In front of it, stands a photo frame turned backwards. The picture in the frame is a black and white photo of a woman in a black dress, whose face is turned away, dancing in the park before a dense mass of trees. The photo is dated May 10
th
, 1922. Above the date, it is signed, “In Liebe, Karina.”

The End