Coal Black Blues (11 page)

“A lot of them are asking about your stews and such, too.”

“With Neil sick, I haven’t had time to make any,” Caroline said, flattered. “Tell them I’ll start having them again, maybe next week. Any problems with the store or employees I should know about?”

“Mattie missed a couple of days because her kids were sick,” he said. “And I’ve kept things running, but there’s a stack of delivery tickets and bills to be paid on your desk in the office. I don’t know how to do any of that stuff so I figured it was best left alone.”

“I’ll take it home with me and catch it up,” Caroline said. “I’ll try to have it done by Friday.”

“There’s no hurry. The only other thing I need you to do is sign payroll checks so I can hand them out.”

Caroline did so before she left. The half hour spent in the store made her realize she’d missed the place and revived all the plans she had for it. Although Alexander had done an excellent job, she saw small things she wanted to fix. The tile floors should sparkle more, in her opinion, and some of the displays could use neatening. But the minor issues could wait, she thought, until she returned full time. Right now, all she wanted was to get back to check on Neil.

Something was off kilter when she parked, but it took her a few moments to realize his truck was gone. Anger and concern flared. She wasn’t sure which emotion had more strength. Caroline tried his cell phone but she heard it ringing inside the empty house.
If I knew which way he went, I’d go after him.

Since she had no idea, Caroline went inside and put the paperwork from the store on the table. Then she tossed a load of laundry into the washing machine and warmed up a pot of beans from earlier in the week for supper. Then she made cornbread batter and spooned it into muffin pans. As she turned on the oven, worry notching up to a higher level than anger, she heard Neil’s truck roar up outside.

He came through the backdoor, coughing a little, wearing a sheepish expression. Neil carried a couple plastic bags of clothing with him. “I thought you’d take a little longer at the store,” he said.

“And I thought you promised to stay here if I went to Coaltown.”

Neil shrugged. “I had cabin fever. Besides, I wanted to get some clothes and stuff from the trailer.”

“I could have taken you over there, anytime.”

He snorted. “I really don’t want you to see it, Carrie.”

“I’d rather not watch you fall down in the floor. You don’t look so good, Neil.”

“I’m fine. I’m just coughing once in a while. That cold air hurts my chest when I breathe it in.”

Exasperated, she put her hand against his cheek, afraid it might be feverish. His skin was cold. “That’s why you shouldn’t be out in it yet. Go sit down. It’ll be a little while ’til supper.”

Neil flashed a grin at her. “So you’re not mad?”

Caroline had been and wanted to be, but his safe return had dampened her anger. “Furious,” she said. “But I’ll get over it.”

He pulled her close for a long kiss, his chill lips warming against hers. Neil kissed her hard and her bones melted. “You already have,” he said.

She cussed at him but couldn’t help laughing. He settled down on the couch, sprawled out and was asleep before she could say another word. Before he woke, the laundry had dried and she’d made old-fashioned chocolate pudding boiled on the stove. It would cool and leave a thick skin on top, something Neil liked. She’d brought home a can of whipped cream to put on top and put the cornbread muffins in the oven.

They shared the simple country supper in harmony and she wished things would stay this way forever, and that Neil wouldn’t return to the mines but she knew he would.

Reality had a way of messing up her ideas of happily ever after.

Chapter Thirteen

On the first Friday in December, they made the trip to town. Neil refused to let her accompany him to see the VA doctor so Caroline waited, flipping through magazines about guns and hunting. When he emerged, his sober expression alarmed her. She stood up and met him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he said. “I’m healthy enough that the doc gave me permission to go back to work on Monday.”

He handed her a paper and she read it. “Okay, but there’s something else. What is it?”

Neil sighed. “It’s no big deal. He just said the same stuff about my lungs that Dr. Tommy did. I guess he doesn’t expect me to ever be an old man.”

“But he still said you could go back to the mine?”

“Yeah, he did after I explained why.”

Caroline sensed he wasn’t sharing all the details. “But I’m guessing the doctor was less than thrilled about it.”

He headed toward the exit at speed so she followed. Outside, he paused. “You could say that, not happy about the mine and other things.”

“Don’t hold out on me. What things?”

Neil shrugged and hunched his shoulders against the chill wind that gusted hard enough to blow discarded cups and part of a newspaper around the parking lot. “He thinks I should take the Paxil for the PTSD.”

“Oh.” Caroline unlocked the car and climbed into the driver’ seat. Neil settled down beside her. “But you don’t agree.”

“Hell, no I don’t. It messes me up worse than the PTSD. I’m not going to take it.”

Color flooded his face as he spoke. Obviously it was a major point of contention for him.

“Then don’t.”

He turned his head toward her. “I’m not. I figured you’d pressure me to get back on it, though.”

“I would if I thought it was beneficial, but you said it isn’t so it’s not.”

His tense posture relaxed a little. “Well, thanks.”

“Have you tried something else, with less side effects?” she asked. “Like Valium?”

“No.” He made the word sound final. “I don’t want any of it, Carrie. I don’t want to be drugged to get through life.”

She dropped the subject. “I still think you shouldn’t go back into the mines, though.”

Neil snorted. “I told you I’ll think about the store, but I’m going back to work Monday.”

Caroline knew he shouldn’t but she kept silent. He had decided and he would. Neil had always been too stubborn to sway once his mind was made up. “I know. Do you want to grab something to eat? Maybe barbecue?”

He shook his head. “I’m not up for barbecue just yet. Let’s grab a burger somewhere and head home. I’m a little tired.”

Her plans to do some shopping unraveled, but she didn’t complain even though being housebound hadn’t been all fun. “Sure, just tell me where.”

“Five Guys is fine,” he said.

“Sure,” she said. “I like their fries almost as much as the hamburgers.”

After lunch, Neil insisted on driving so Caroline changed seats with him. If he headed back to work, he’d be driving so he might as well make a trial run now. Halfway back to Coaltown, he took an exit and said, “You can drive the rest of the way.”

“Are you okay?”

He wobbled his flat hand up and down. “Yeah, just worn out and a bit shaky but good.”

Caroline drove and he fell asleep in less than a mile. She had to wake him when they got back to her house and he napped for another couple of hours after that. He finished the last of the antibiotics after supper.

On Saturday, he rode down to the store with her and they spent the morning there. Caroline had finished the stack of paperwork she’d brought home and she worked a few hours, filling in until Jackson Curtis could arrive.

“I didn’t know you’d have to work,” he said, when he showed up.

“It’s not a problem. Bertha wanted to get her hair done.”

“I was taking the ACT in town or I’d been here.”

“I know. You can take over now. We’ll be heading home before long.”

The high school kid’s face lit up. “Is Neil here? How’s he doing?”

“Better. He’s in the office if you want to say howdy.”

On Sunday, the sun shone and temperatures warmed up into the forties. Although Neil suggested they go see a movie or out for dinner, Caroline wanted to stay home and told him so.

“I’d like to just spend the day together,” she said. “You’re almost well and we’ll both be back at work tomorrow.”

“Sure,” he said. “What did you have in mind? I’m about burned out watching movies and listening to music.”

She ached to make love with Neil. They hadn’t since he’d fallen ill and she suspected he wanted the same. Over the past couple of days, they’d cuddled together and kissed like two teenagers. Neil had managed to brush against her in passing, his hands straying to caress her body. As Caroline washed up their few breakfast dishes, he approached from behind and put his arms around her waist. His lips nuzzled the back of her neck, enough to send delicious little shivers down her back. Her nipples hardened as he brushed them with one hand.

“I think maybe I’d better go back to bed,” he whispered, his breath warm and ticklish in her ear. “I might need some tender loving care.”

“Do you?” She turned around to face him, smiling, and put her hands on his shoulders. “Maybe you need something like this.”

Caroline kissed his mouth, her lips connecting to his, thrilled as he kissed her back with enthusiasm. He tasted of the maple syrup they’d used on their pancakes, sweet and familiar. She leaned against him, supported by his arms and savored a slow kiss. When he moved his mouth from her lips to the left side of her neck and nibbled, she shuddered. Damn, it felt so wonderful and her body revved with heated interest. Her hands strayed beneath the thermal undershirt he wore and teased his nipples with slow strokes. His skin seemed cool against her dishwater-heated hands and she enjoyed the contrast. She liked the way he used his teeth to nip her throat more than that.

“Let’s go upstairs,” he said. “I can’t wait long, honey.”

She met his gray eyes and nodded. They hurried up the narrow stairs, pausing to kiss and touch before they reached her bedroom. Neil shucked off his shirt and sweatpants, revealing he wore nothing beneath. Caroline, still wearing a long flannel nightgown, pulled it over her head with one swift motion and removed her panties. He pulled her into his arms and held her close, then bent his head to kiss her again, this time with a wild, almost desperate need.

Caroline responded with her tongue and then she used it to move down his chest, lower until she reached his crotch. Neil sprawled across the bed on his back to make access easier and she took his cock into her mouth. He moaned with pleasure as she sucked it, using her mouth to bring him pleasure. When she brought him to the edge of orgasm, she pulled back and he scooted backward on the bed until his head rested on the pillows.

“Be still,” she said. “Let me.”

She mounted him and worked her hips until they fit together, a key into a lock. Then she rode him, building the rhythm until they both made sounds. The powerful surge sent fire through every part of her body and she grew ripe for completion. Neil’s hands stroked her, always touching, and as the need increased, he reached out and grasped both her hands in his. They locked together, tight, and he said, “Now, Carrie, now. God, I can’t stand much more. Have mercy on me, honey. Bring me home.”

By then, she needed release as much as he did. She moved harder, faster against him, the friction adding to the pleasure and building the need until it become unbearable. It hit her hard, a sweeping flood of intense pleasure and heat. It fanned out through her body as she spasmed with each delightful wave. Neil cried out, hoarse and wordless, while she said his name, over and over, peppered with endearments. They rode the orgasm together and when it slackened, they collapsed together in a wet heap. She lay against him, unable to move for several minutes, their sticky bodies heaving to catch a breath. When she could, Caroline dismounted and lay beside him. Her body brimmed full, sweeter than a tree full of honey, charged with the aftereffects of fulfilled desire.

As their breaths slowed and caught, she touched him, caressing his body, still craving physical connection. Beneath her fingertips, the hard edge of his ribs was more prominent. He’d lost a little weight during his illness.

Neil drew her against him. “I love you, Carrie, and I needed that. I thought you were about to kill me, though, honey.”

“You seem fine to me.”

“Ah, that’s because you gave me the cure I needed.”

“Neil, I love you so.”

They lay together contented for a long time, dozed a little and remained linked.

“I suppose we should get up sometime.”

“We should. I’m planning on making you a fried chicken dinner today.”

“I need to put gas in my truck since I’m working tomorrow.”

“So I’ll get up when you do.”

Caroline snuggled closer when Neil said, “In a little bit, I will.”

She savored every moment of their physical proximity, but Caroline had never been so emotionally open or this close with anyone else. This was what she had yearned for during the empty years of her marriage and what she wanted for the future. Caroline kept silent, afraid she might jinx any chance they might have.

“I’m gonna miss you,” she told him, as they lay together. She had pulled a quilt over them because once the heat from making love faded, the room seemed cold.

“Where am I going?” Neil asked. He sounded distracted.

“Back to work and I’ll be at the store.” The idea she’d see him for a short time each evening evoked sadness.

“Well, unless you’re staying down there all night or twenty-four-seven, we’ll be here, won’t we?”

Startled, she propped up on one elbow. “We are if you’re planning to stay here.”

Neil sat up, letting the quilt fall. “I am unless you don’t want me to, Carrie.”

Until this moment, she assumed he would be heading back to his bachelor trailer. Hope blossomed in her heart. “I do want you here, Neil. I was afraid you’d go home when you went back to work.”

“I can,” he said. “But I’d rather not. My place is cold and half the time, I’m too tired to keep the woodstove going. And scared to death it’ll burn the place down. A lot of bad fires happen in mobile homes. Besides, I’d be awful lonesome.”

“I would be, too.”

“Then I thought I’d stay until I wear out my welcome.”

Caroline caught the light, teasing tone and smiled. “If you do, I’ll let you know.”

“I bet you would, honey. I do need to run up to the trailer again, make sure I’ve got all my gear and put gas in the truck. Want to come with?”

“Sure,” she said. Caroline sat up and kissed the birthmark on his left shoulder. “I’ve been curious.”

Neil hooted a short, bitter laugh. “You’re more likely to be disappointed. It’s a dump. Where’s my chicken dinner?”

She swiveled her head to see the clock. “It’s almost one. It’s easier if I fix it for supper, now.”

“Supper’s fine. Let’s get dressed and go, then.”

Her expectations were low, but his trailer midway up Hound Dog Mountain failed to meet them. The narrow gravel lane winding around the mountain filled her with trepidation and Caroline found herself glad Neil drove. She didn’t like the sharp, blind curves or the way the edge of the road petered out into nothing. One wrong move and they would tumble down the mountain. For the first time, she understood why her father’s accident had been fatal and that it probably wasn’t his fault. Even one foot over too far or a moment of inattention would be enough to cause calamity.

When Neil turned off the road onto a driveway lined with thick underbrush and tall trees, she shuddered. “This is really at the back of beyond.”

He chuckled. “It is pretty remote, but I wanted my space when I moved up here.”

Through the trees, she caught a glimpse of the structure with dismay. The small mobile home leaned precariously on several piles of concrete blocks. Rust had turned the roof magenta and the exterior appeared dilapidated. Most of the windows were grime-covered and two had been covered over with ply-board. A graduated series of concrete block steps led to the front door. On one end, a stove pipe stuck up above the roofline and she guessed it was for the wood stove. There was no yard, nothing more than a clearing with space enough to park his truck. Woods came right up to the edge and she noticed half of the skirting around the mobile home had long since vanished.

Neil parked. “So, Carrie, what do you think?”

He sounded amused, but she wasn’t. She stared at the place he’d called home for too long, where her Neil had lived lonely. Caroline compared it to the brick Colonial house she’d shared with Dylan and the duplex apartment where she’d lived with her mom. While she’d had a comfortable home, he’d been overseas in the desert, in a series of hospitals, and here. No wonder he wanted to stay at her grandparents’ old, cozy house.

She forced a light tone. “It’s even worse than I imagined.”

“You might well come in for the full effect, Carrie.”

It was the smallest mobile home she had ever visited. The door opened into a tiny living room dominated by an ancient box style wood stove and a broken down love seat. They turned right and walked through the kitchen. A small sink, an apartment-size stove, and an ancient round-top fridge were situated between the few counters. Three wooden cabinets hung on the wall above the stove and the sink overlooked the woods. His bedroom was beyond the kitchen where a queen-sized bed took up most of the space. A closet-sized bathroom with toilet, sink, and shower stall was the last room.