Coal Black Blues (10 page)

Left up to her, Caroline planned to let the earlier discussion rest until he’d recovered, but once the stew simmered on the stove, Neil brought it up again while they listened to classic country music, Johnny Cash and Johnny Horton.

“I’ll think about it,” he said into the silence between songs.

“About what?” Caroline muted the stereo to focus on the conversation.

“Running the store with you,” Neil said. “I’m goin’ back to the mines as soon as I’m well enough, for now, but I’m gonna think about it.”

Surprise kept her hushed for a long moment. “Okay,” she said, with caution. “I’m glad, Neil. I think it would be good for both of us if you’d help me with Carrie’s Corner. I wish, though, you wouldn’t go back to the mine.”

His mouth tightened and from the set of his jaw, she knew before he spoke that he would, no matter what. “I am, though, long enough to decide what’s best.”

“And see if I’m really staying.”

The words burst between her lips before she thought and though she regretted them, they were out.

He nodded. “That, too, a little.”

“Why can’t you believe I’m here to stay, Neil?”

After a long pause, he met her eyes. “I want to, Carrie, and most of the time I don’t doubt it. But I want it so much I’m afraid it won’t happen, scared I’ll jinx it by wanting it.”

Unshed tears gathered into a knot within her chest. “I don’t know what else to say to convince you.”

“Just love me, woman,” he said. “In time, I’m thinkin’ and hopin’ it will be enough.”

She couldn’t keep from crying at that. Tears tracked down her cheeks and her voice broke as she answered him, “I do, Neil, oh, God, I do and will.”

“Don’t do that, Carrie, don’t cry. I don’t want to make you sad.”

“I’m not, I’m happy.”

“Stay that way, honey,” he said. He extended his hand to her and she took it. They sat holding hands, comfortable and comforted.

“I plan to,” she told him. “And I’m here to stay.”

His fingers tightened around her hand as if to hold her to the promise.

Chapter Twelve

They hadn’t kept Thanksgiving on time due to Neil’s illness. Caroline had called her mom and endured a brief but frustrating conversation. Her mother still disapproved of her return to West Virginia and hadn’t been shy about saying so. Caroline had listened, biting her tongue to keep from saying something on a holiday she would regret. Neil had rallied enough to phone his parents. Unlike Caroline, he’d told his parents he and Carrie were together again and they had been delighted. The one thing Neil didn’t mention had been the fact he’d been sick.

On Sunday, Caroline baked the ten-pound turkey she’d bought and made a small Thanksgiving feast with cornbread dressing, candied sweet potatoes, and gravy. She also baked a pumpkin pie because Neil requested it. He’d been eating real food for a few days, but the last thing she wanted to do was overload his systems. They planned a quiet dinner for two, then a long afternoon nap.

About ten thirty, however, while Caroline peeled the yams, Neil turned down the music.

“Are you expecting anybody?” he asked.

She paused and came to the doorway between the kitchen and living room. “No, why?”

“Someone’s turned in from the road. I don’t recognize the vehicle.”

Neither did Caroline. “It has New York tags.”

The late-model Nissan rolled to a stop beneath the big oak tree, behind Neil’s truck and her car. She watched from the window with unashamed curiosity with Neil beside her. When a slender young man emerged, Caroline didn’t recognize him, but Neil did.

“It’s Rob. What’s he doing here?”

Noting Neil’s surprise, she asked “Do you mean your brother?”

He nodded and moved around Caroline to open the door. Sharp, cold air contrasted with the warmth inside. “You’re a long way from home,” Neil hollered across the yard.

When the approaching man lifted his head, Caroline saw the resemblance between the brothers. “And I’m glad to see you’re upright,” Rob replied. “I heard you were at death’s door.”

Shivering, Caroline said, “Come on in out of the cold.”

She stepped back to let him enter. As soon as he’d cleared the door, she closed it and the brothers embraced. “I’ve been sick,” Neil said. He returned to the recliner, rubbing his hands for warmth. “But how did you know and what are you doing here? It’s a long way from Arkansas.”

“I’m in Charleston for a business conference starting tomorrow,” Rob said. “Flew in from XNA with a stopover in Charlotte and landed at Yeager Airport early this morning. So I rented a car, thought I’d drive over to surprise you and even drove all the way to that rust-bucket mobile home of yours. But you weren’t there so I stopped at the store to ask. They told me you’d been very ill, close to death, and that I’d find you here. How are you? You look like crap on toast, Neil.”

“He looks much better than he did a week ago,” Caroline said. “I’m going to finish the sweet potatoes while you two catch up. I’m Caroline Reaburn. I don’t know if you remember me. You were just a young kid when I last saw you.

“Rob McCullough,” he said and extended his hand. She shook it. “I remember you a little and I know your name. I’ve heard it often enough over the years.”

She paused long enough to toss a quilt over Neil’s legs which earned her a glare. In sweatpants, a white T-shirt, and socks but no shoes, she figured he might be chilled and she wasn’t taking any chances on a relapse. As she peeled more potatoes, she listened.

“I had pneumonia, a bad case,” Neil told his brother. “But I’m on the mend. I’d be going back to work tomorrow if Caroline hadn’t pitched a fit.”

“Good for her. Are you still a miner?”

“I am.” Neil clipped the two words sharp.

“You ought to get out of there before it kills you,” Rob said. “I know Mom worries about that all the time. She talks about her dad, a lot, Granpa Bill and how he died from black lung and emphysema.”

“Don’t go there,” Neil said. “Caroline’s singing the same song, but I’m going back, for now anyway. I’m sure the folks told you I’m seeing her.”

“Absolutely and they’re delighted. Everyone’s worried you’d become some lonely recluse and we all missed you at Thanksgiving.”

“I haven’t been back for that in at least three years.”

“It’s five. Maybe you could show up for Christmas.”

Caroline sighed. She’d been dreaming about an old-fashioned Christmas here with Neil, but if he wanted to go, she wouldn’t try to stop him.

“I don’t think so, not this year but maybe next. I thought maybe we’d come out to Texas this summer for a visit.”

“Everyone would be thrilled and I’d come down if I have enough advance notice. That’d be great, Neil. I think the parents still hope you’ll move closer.”

“I’m not cut out for Texas. I like it right here.”

He hadn’t mentioned any ideas about a trip to see his family, but he had said ‘we’ so Caroline wondered. Rob fussed at his brother about being rooted in the mountains and then they moved on to talk of other things, family updates and memories. She remained in the kitchen even after the sweet potatoes were on the stove, giving the pair space. The unexpected visit seemed to do Neil good, she noticed. He talked and laughed, only coughing a couple of times but without the harsh attacks he’d suffered when he first fell ill.

When she pulled the turkey from the oven, Caroline set it aside to cool enough to carve and joined them. “Dinner will be ready in about thirty minutes,” she said. “Rob, you’re welcome to stay if you like. It’s a mini-Thanksgiving dinner.”

“I shouldn’t intrude. I’ve had my holiday dinner and if it won’t offend either of you, I have a presentation to prepare for the conference tomorrow. I can grab something on the way back to the hotel.”

“It won’t hurt my feelings if you have to go, but you can stay, eat before you run.” Neil sounded like he wanted his brother to stay. Rob shook his head. “Thank you, but I should go. If I eat a big meal, I won’t be fit for anything but a nap and I’ve got work to do.”

Caroline wanted him to stay because Neil did. “It’s not a huge feast, just turkey, dressing, sweet potatoes, and pumpkin pie. Neil’s not been eating much so we didn’t want to overdo. There’s plenty if you want to join us.”

“It sounds good and everything smells delicious,” Rob said. “All right, you talked me into it.”

The three of them ate at the kitchen table. Although Caroline had worried, the turkey turned out delicious, not dry and filled with flavor. Because her ex-husband had preferred to have holiday meals catered, she hadn’t cooked a bird in years. She made the cornbread dressing from memory, using plenty of sage and onion the way her grandmother had, and it tasted perfect. Neil ate with more appetite than he’d shown yet, which pleased her, and Rob managed two plates and two slices of pie.

Afterward, Neil’s eyes drooped with fatigue. “Do you want to go upstairs to take a nap?” she asked.

He shook his head as she knew he would. “I’ll rest down here in the recliner.”

“Are you okay?” She had to ask, needed to know.

Neil grinned. “I’m full and sleepy but I’m good, Carrie. Don’t fuss. You’ll make Rob think I’m an invalid.”

“You’re anything but,” she replied. She cleared the table but took time to make sure Neil settled into the recliner. Caroline added a log to the wood stove and covered him with the quilt. She kissed him, soft and gentle, on the lips, and when he clasped her hand, she held it for a long moment.

As she washed the dishes, she heard the wind moan beneath the eaves of the old house and sleet patter against the windows. For the first few moments, she heard the low tones of the brothers in conversation, then silence as Neil fell asleep. Rob came out to the kitchen.

“It’s sleeting so I should go,” he said. “Thank you for the dinner. It was delicious.”

“You’re welcome.” She rinsed the last dish and stacked it in the drainer with the others. “I’m glad you could visit Neil. I think he enjoyed it a lot.”

“I did, too.” Rob said. Then his face became serious. “You really care for him, don’t you?”

Caroline faced him. “I love him.”

“I’m glad. He’s had a hard time since the Army and I’m sure he’s been lonesome. Caroline?”

“Yes?”

“How is he, really? I can see he’s recovering from pneumonia, but we all are concerned what the mine is doing to his health.”

She hesitated, afraid Neil might not want her to share what she knew, then answered with honesty. “You should be. I am, too. The doctor thought working there probably contributed to the pneumonia. He suspects Neil may already have COPD and he mentioned both emphysema and black lung as possibilities for the future. He recommended Neil get out of the mining business and so did I.”

“But he’s not?”

Caroline shook her head. “I’ve asked him if he’d run the store with me. I doubt you’d remember, but it was my grandparents’ store, my great-grandparents before that. My Uncle Jim left it to me and I want to make it a success. Neil would be a huge help and he said he’d think about it. But he feels like he has to prove he’s still a man and the way he’s done that since the Army has been working as a miner. He insists he’s going back to work. I don’t like it, but I’m still going to do my best to persuade him to work with me at the store.”

“I wish he would, before he ruins his health or something else happens.”

A cold dread crept up her spine. “What do you mean?”

Rob shot her a questioning look. “Mines are dangerous places. Explosions, cave-ins, collapses, and accidents happen too often. I thought I’d lost my brother once, when he was in Afghanistan. I’d rather not lose him to the mine or at all.”

She’d known those things happened, but she hadn’t let her mind connect the possibility to Neil. Now Caroline knew she would and she would worry. She told Rob so and he nodded.

“I’m sure you will. How’s he dealing with PTSD? I know he won’t take the Paxil they prescribed. He hated the side effects, especially the headaches, insomnia, and feeling sick to his stomach. He said it was worse than dealing with the PTSD.”

Although unaware about the prescription, she said, “Maybe. He does all right most of the time, unless something triggers it or he has a nightmare. I’m more concerned about his lungs and now the mine than the PTSD, though.”

“Maybe you can convince him to make a career change. It’d be the second-best thing that ever happened to him.”

“What’s the first?”

“I’d say that would be you,” Rob said. “I know you knew him a long time ago, but since you’re back, he’s changed for the better. You wouldn’t believe how much.”

Caroline remembered how Neil had acted the first day he came back into her life, at Uncle Jim’s funeral. “I would, Rob.”

He smiled, his grin similar to Neil’s although his dark hair had been styled and tamed.

“I’m going to head out, then. I doubt the roads are slick, yet, but I want to get back to the Holiday Inn before they do. Thank you, Caroline, for dinner and for taking care of Neil the way you have.”

“It’s my pleasure.” On impulse, she hugged him and walked him to the door. Sleet still fell from a charcoal sky and the wind remained sharp. Chilled, she waved farewell at Rob, then shut the door tight. The turkey dinner made her drowsy too, so she curled up into the corner of the couch with another quilt and slept.

She woke to find Neil stoking the stove. He’d donned a flannel shirt over his white t-shirt and by the shadows in the room, she realized it must be almost dark.

“What time is it?” she asked. “I must’ve slept longer than I thought I would.”

“Four thirty, but it’s snowing now,” he said. “Sounds like it might be several inches by morning. Is there plenty of wood out back?”

“There should be. I had a rick delivered and they stacked it near the back porch.”

“I’ll put some by the door so we can get it to it.”

That roused her fully awake. “No, you won’t. You shouldn’t be out in the cold. I’ll do it.”

Despite his protests, she put on her coat, a knitted cap and gloves. She transferred a dozen logs to the porch, then came in shivering to find he’d made coffee. Caroline cradled a cup between her hands in the living room. “Thank you,” she said. “Just don’t overdo, baby.”

“I’m not,” he said. He settled down beside her on the couch and put his arm across her shoulders. “For the first time, I really feel a lot better.”

She must have frowned because he offered her a smile. “I’m still planning to take it easy this week and not push too hard. I want to get well and stay that way.”

“That’s good.”

Neil shifted position until he cuddled her against him. She rested her head against his right shoulder. “Tomorrow, I’ll call and make an appointment with the VA,” he told her. “Will you drive me up to Charleston for it? I’m thinking probably Friday.”

“Of course I will. Where else would I be?”

“I thought you might need to go down to the store a little this week. Before you pitch a fit, I’ll stay here if it makes you feel better.”

His light tone lifted her spirits. “As long as you promise not to go out and cut wood or go hunting or some other fool thing,” she said and he laughed.

“I do.”

Snow fell, six inches, although it didn’t linger too long. By Wednesday afternoon, it had melted and Caroline made her first trip to the store in more than a week. She found it busy and Alexander informed her they couldn’t cook food fast enough to keep up with orders.