Coalescence - SF3 (18 page)

"I so enjoyed having the AIDS Ride as a goal," the smaller woman mused. "I feel like I need a new goal now that it’s over."

"That’s a good point," Ryan smiled. "I might need to reassess my goals too."

"What do you mean?" Jamie asked.

"You’ll just have to wait and see, Cupcake," she said with a grin as their food was delivered.

When they arrived home, Ryan immediately got into the shower to remove the sand that had hidden itself beneath her clothing. She emerged a few minutes later, hoping to find Jamie in bed, but no such luck. Tugging on a bright yellow nylon tank top and a pair of blue and white print running shorts, Ryan went in search of her partner.

A thorough scan of the house failed to locate her, so the dark-haired detective walked out the back door to search the grounds. She stood outside of the door and scratched her head for a moment, thinking that the grounds were large enough to make her task rather monumental. "Jamie," she called, in a slightly raised voice. Hearing no response, she started to walk around the building. Both outdoor patios were vacant, so she jogged down to the pool house, which also failed to pay off. Trying her voice again, she yelled, "JAMIE!"

That did the trick as she heard a faint, "Up here, Honey."

"UP WHERE?"

"Up here," her elusive partner replied, shedding absolutely no light on the matter. Ryan looked around again, starting at ground level. The house was set back on the lot with a large expanse of lawn that led to the fabulous view of the ocean over a high cliff. The pool house was at a 45-degree angle to the house, fairly close to the cliff. Near the house, almost directly across from the pool house, she noted a possible hiding place. Built into a tall, gnarled cypress was an elegant little tree house. It was unlike any such structure she had ever seen, which didn’t surprise her in the least, given that the Evans family was unlike any she had ever known. The house was sturdily built out of wood with real casement windows and a little Dutch door. The roof was shingled in shake and weathered a dull gray; the outside walls were clapboard and painted a complementary dove gray. The properly scaled casement windows were open, and the top half of the door was also propped open.

As Ryan walked under the tree house, she spotted the means of access--small rungs nailed to the tree at about nine inch increments. One had to climb around the circumference of the tree to reach the door, obviously so that a small child could maneuver up the height, but she managed it easily, even with her rather large feet.

She poked her head over the closed bottom door to see her lover, clad in madras plaid cotton boxers and a sky blue T-shirt. "Hey, little girl," Ryan said seductively. "Can I come over and play?"

Jamie regarded her pink face for a moment. "That depends," she answered quietly. "Do you play nice?"

"I haven’t had many complaints," she admitted. "But I’m sure that I’d be happy to let you choose the games we play."

"Okay, come on in," she decided.

Ryan just grinned as she clambered over the closed door. She sat down on the floor, imitating Jamie’s posture and looked quizzically at her partner. Jamie didn’t seem to be in the mood to explain herself, and it seemed that she was feeling uncomfortable again. Ryan was determined to draw her out, so she commented, "I bet you spent a lot of time up here as a kid."

A small smile lit Jamie’s features as she recalled, "Yeah. It was one place that was my own. I could come up here with my dolls and toys or a book, and while away the afternoon."

"You know, it’s funny," Ryan said. "I’d guess that I didn’t have an entire afternoon to myself…well…ever. I mean, I guess I could have, once I was in college and the boys were working, but I was usually working or going to class. Being down here has made it clearer to me how differently we were raised." She kept a careful eye out for her partner’s reaction to her next statement. "I think we’re both going to have to make some adjustments."

"Like what?" Jamie asked, looking interested.

"Like having a need for quiet time, or alone time …those kinds of things. I’d guess that you need time alone every day, don’t you?"

"Yeah, I guess I do," Jamie said thoughtfully. "I’ve not thought about it much, but I am used to having time to reflect and write a little every day. I haven’t been doing that much for the last few months, and I miss it a little bit. What about you?"

"I get my alone time in the morning, when I run. That time is pretty precious for me, you know."

"I’m not sure I knew that," Jamie said. "But it makes sense."

"Yeah, it lets me work out problems and plan my day. I’ve missed it a little in the last couple of weeks."

"I guess we have upset each other’s schedules," Jamie mused. "How do we get back to them?"

"Let’s start now," Ryan suggested. "I’m nearly dressed for a run. Let me go on a nice long jog along the water, and you can spend some time up here in your little house."

"You don’t think my house is silly, do you?" she asked with an embarrassed laugh.

"Not at all," Ryan insisted. "Any place that allows you to get in touch with your young self is a good place. I do some of my best thinking playing on a playground."

"Now that I’d like to see," Jamie mused, with a cute grin on her face.

"Well, they’re hardly any fun since they took out all the jungle gyms. Darned personal injury lawsuits."

"Yeah, well, it was kids like you that caused all of those lawsuits, Buffy. Now get a move on, and come get me when you’re done."

"Will do," Ryan promised, as she leaned forward for a kiss.

"Be careful on the road," Jamie warned. "It’s clear now, but the fog can come in quickly."

After Ryan had limbered up, she took off down the driveway, let herself out the small door in the large gate, and began to jog at a slow pace. There was a fairly steady stream of cars on the 17 Mile Drive, but the sound of the traffic was barely noticeable with the pounding of the surf in the background.

If she has some time alone, she might be able to snap out of her mood on her own. I’ll see how she seems when I get back, and if she’s still standoffish I’ll try a more direct approach.

She paid more attention to the pavement than the scenery, but she was aware of passing many beautiful estates as well as some more modest homes.
Trashy little million dollar bungalows
, she thought with a snicker, as she allowed herself to reflect on the tremendous wealth that Jamie’s mother must have.
I’m not sure I was prepared for all of this
, she thought.
I hate to admit it, but
I think Jamie’s right--we’re gonna have some issues about this. I hope I can be as easygoing about it as her father is. I wonder how he’d feel if he were in my position, though. I’ve got about 25,000 bucks to my name, which is more than I ever thought I’d have, but I’ll probably be in school for at least three more years. If I do go to grad school, I might have a hard time working enough to be able to pay my own way, and I don’t have any idea how we’ll balance things so I don’t feel like I’m being kept.

She turned a corner and came upon a clear view of the majestic Pacific just as the sun peeked out from a large cloud.
My God!
she thought, as she skidded to an abrupt halt.
No wonder the rich people live here
. The dark sea crashed violently against the massive rocks that lined this section of coast. The rugged shore precluded any type of beach, and no one with a lick of sense dared go out onto the rocks. Ironically, these multi-million dollar homes had absolutely no access to the sea, though it was so very close. She took off again, surveying the homes she passed. She admired the way that most of the homes snuggled in amongst the trees, trying to achieve a natural look. The homes were, for the most part, large and rambling, but they really were not overly grand. Even Jamie’s home, while as large as any she had seen, was quite tasteful. It was set back far enough from the street, and was covered in enough mature landscaping, that it really did fit in to the more natural theme of the neighborhood.

She had reached the guard station at the end of 17 Mile Drive. Since she had no identification with her, she thought it prudent to turn around rather than exit the compound. Crossing the street and running back up the other side of the drive; she stopped once again to gaze at the fabulous view for a few moments. Sea birds of all sizes and shapes were busily looking for food, their calls and songs just barely audible over the intense thrumming of the waves as they crashed against the cliffs.

She started up again, spending a few minutes saying her usual morning prayers of thanksgiving.
Little late for the morning prayers, Ryan
, she gently chided herself. She realized with a laugh that she had so much more to be thankful for since Jamie came into her life that her prayers were taking up a lot more time.
Small price to pay
, she thought happily as she sped along the lovely drive. She thought about her mother and tried to imagine what she would think of Jamie. She was absolutely certain that her mother would love her, but she realistically assumed that there might be a little tension between them. Even though her memories of her mother were few, she had heard enough from her father and the boys to know how fiercely protective the small auburn-haired woman had been of her children.
I think it would have been hard for her to let me go
, she mused.
I can’t imagine that mothers don’t have mixed feelings when their kids give their hearts to someone.
And boy, mine is gone for good
, she thought happily. She lifted her hand to touch the earring that Jamie had given her.
This was so sweet
, she thought.
I should have known that she would figure out some way to make our honeymoon even more special.
A more practical matter shot through her mind as she mused,
I’d better make sure she has these insured.
Even as she considered that thought, she had to admit that the monetary value on the earrings was not the important issue. Just like her mother’s wedding band, the sentimental value would be forever lost, no matter how much insurance money was received to pay for their replacements.

As she drew near the house, she debated as to whether she should go further or stop. It had been 50 minutes, and she knew she had only done about seven miles, but she really wanted to go figure out what was going on with Jamie. She let her desires overtake her discipline, deciding that her honeymoon was more important than her fitness. After she punched in the code, the gate swung open and she trotted down the drive, taking in all of the beautiful plants and trees that graced the path. Looking up at the house, she wondered how many bedrooms it held.
I hardly got a chance to see much of the place
, she mused.
Oh well, what we did yesterday was a lot more fulfilling than looking at decorating schemes.

She took a detour into the pool house and used a towel to remove most of the sweat from her body, then jogged over to the tree house. "Anybody home?" she asked.

"Come on up, Love," Jamie called down.

Ryan hung her torso over the half-open door and said, "Do you welcome stinky guests?"

"I’d welcome you if you were covered in…well…anything," she decided. "You always perk up my day."

"Part of the job description," Ryan assured her as she climbed in. "Friend, lover, confidante, perker-upper."

"You do very well at all of them," Jamie decided.

"Thanks, Babe." Ryan placed her hand on Jamie’s thigh, but the small twitch that greeted her touch was not the reaction she was hoping for. She decided to be a little more direct, and see if she could make some progress with her obviously uncomfortable lover.

"You know," Ryan said thoughtfully, "I think I need a confidante today. You in the mood?"

"Of course, Honey, what’s wrong?" Concern colored her features, and Ryan sought to reassure her.

"It’s not a huge thing. I just wanted to talk about yesterday a little bit. Is that okay?"

"Sure…of course it is," Jamie said, looking like it was far from okay. "Tell me what’s on your mind."

Ryan lay flat on her back and placed her feet on the floor, drawing her knees up in the process. She stared at the ceiling of the house, and was briefly distracted when she noticed that there were no cobwebs or other signs of insect activity.
God, don’t tell me they make the maid come clean this place, too!
Mentally shaking her head, she forced herself to focus and began, "I want to talk about how yesterday felt for me."

"Okay," Jamie said, her voice now even quieter.

"I…I was a little surprised at how powerful my feelings were," Ryan said carefully. "I mean, I knew it would be intense, but I wasn’t prepared for how overwhelming the emotions were." She turned her head and made eye contact with her partner. "Do you know what I mean?"

"Yes, I do," Jamie replied, her voice no more than a whisper.

Looking at the ceiling again, Ryan continued, "I’ve had great sexual experiences. None as great as yesterday, of course, but great, nonetheless. The thing is, I’ve never had sex with someone who loves me like you do, and it was pretty trippy."

"Trippy?"

"I’ve never felt that…exposed," Ryan decided. "I think that’s the word. I felt like I’d been stripped naked, emotionally." She turned again and locked eyes with her partner. "I actually feel a little bruised today…does that make sense?"

The relief that flooded Jamie’s face was obvious as she nodded her head vigorously. "Yes, yes, that’s it!" she said excitedly. "I feel raw and exposed today. Like I let you see too much!"