Coalescence - SF3 (24 page)

A small furrow crossed her forehead as she shook her head in surprise at the unexpected direction of the question. Then a little smile came over her face as she recounted, "Rory and I used to dream about winning millions of bucks, and we used to talk about how we’d spend it. We always had Da quitting his job, and we had cool cars and toys--lots and lots of toys," she laughed.

"What if I had no money, and you won the lottery? Would you spend the money on us, or would you just put it in the bank and buy yourself occasional luxuries while we adopted my lifestyle?"

"That’s not really analogous, Jamie," she explained patiently. "I would have won the money from some small effort on my part. Anything--good or bad--that happens to me, happens to us both. Of course I would share it with you equally."

"That’s exactly how I feel! This is something good that happened to me, and I want to share it with you. I know there will be bad things that happen to us, Ryan. I know you’ll share any of my burdens. Why won’t you share in my blessings?"

Ryan pursed her lips and lifted herself out of the tub. She sat on the edge of the spa with her feet still dangling inside. "I don’t know, Jamie. It just doesn’t feel right. I feel like I’m taking something from you that isn’t mine."

"Well, technically that’s true, but not accepting my money punishes me," she explained.

"That’s a stretch," Ryan scoffed.

"Okay," she drawled. "I’ve not been to Europe for over a year. I like to go every year, and I was planning on going this summer. Would you prefer that I went alone, or that I deprive myself of something I enjoy because you can’t afford it?"

"But, Jamie," she moaned as she rubbed her face with both hands. "Equipping me for your lifestyle would involve a ton of money! It would cost $100,000 to travel and buy me clothes and go out to nice restaurants routinely. I can’t let you spend your inheritance in such a frivolous manner!" Ryan was struggling to understand Jamie’s stance on this issue, but it went against everything she had been taught about fending for herself.

The smaller woman narrowed her gaze and stared directly into Ryan’s troubled eyes. "I’ve seen you give change to the homeless. Do you even think about that money?"

"No, but its just change, usually less than a dollar. What has that got to do with anything?"

"Ryan, the money I spend is barely pocket change compared to what I have. I earned more in interest today than the total of all the money I have ever spent on you."

"Jamie," she laughed, shaking her head at the obviously ridiculous statement. "I know that math isn’t your strong point, but that can’t be true."

Pursing her lips against the sting of the jibe, she asked defiantly, "How much do you think I’ve spent on you, in total."

"Gee, I don’t know," she said. "Golf, dinners, some clothes, maybe $3,000."

"Look at my most recent trust statement for the Smith trust." She held one of the papers out to Ryan, forcing her to focus on it. "Now look in the corner here and tell me what my average daily earnings were for the March quarter."

"Holy crap!" Ryan’s mouth fell open in amazement. "This can’t be accurate!"

"Ryan, not only is this accurate, it doesn’t reflect the money I’ll get from the Dunlop Trust when I turn 30. That’s where the real bucks are. Plus, due to wise investments, my mother has lots more than I do, and I’m her only heir."

Ryan sank back onto the tile, her feet still in the water. "This is kinda making me sick to my stomach," she said weakly.

"That’s how I feel some times, Ryan. It’s way too much money for one person to handle."

"So, you’re basically telling me that you could buy anything you want and never have to even look at a price tag." She spoke slowly as realization dawned and she came to an acute awareness of just how immense Jamie’s assets were.

"Yes, Ryan. And I could do the same for all of my friends, not just you. I could buy anything, and I do mean anything, that I wanted, and not even give it a moment’s thought."

"God, when you look at it that way, you really are moderate in your spending habits."

"Well thanks," she said, still smarting from the earlier barb. "I’m glad you noticed."

Ryan had the good grace to look slightly embarrassed. "No, really, Jamie, I’m a spendthrift compared to you. I’ve been earning just enough to get by, and I still buy myself every new piece of sports equipment that comes out. I’ve gotta tell you, I admire your restraint."

"But Ryan, that’s exactly what I’m talking about. I think you’re right. I’ve spent less than $3,000 on you over the nine months I’ve known you. That is less than 1/3 of what I earn in a day. That’s why it hurts my feelings when you won’t let me buy you a few little things. It gives me such pleasure, and it’s not like I’m always throwing money at you," she reasoned.

"You’re right, Jamie. I just had no idea how much you had. I thought that what you spent on me could put a big dent in your assets. I’m sorry I didn’t try to understand sooner."

"Do you also understand that I want you to share this burden with me?"

"I understand the words, but I don’t really understand what you want me to do," she admitted.

"I would like to die with next to nothing left, Ryan. I want to figure out some way to give this all away, but I want to do it in a way that really changes some lives." The earnestness in her voice left no doubt that she truly wanted others to reap some benefits from her money. "First, however, I want to prepare us for the future. I want to pay for you to go to graduate school, Ryan."

"Oh, Jamie, I don’t know if I can do that." Ryan shook her head sadly, knowing that an outright refusal would hurt Jamie, but that an acceptance would undermine her own self-respect.

"Yes, you can, Ryan. We can figure out a way for you to be comfortable. You could even pay me back if you needed to, but I don’t want you to have to work the number of hours you will have to work to afford to stay in school. I want to spend time with you, Honey. Don’t you want that, too?" The look on her face was so plaintive that Ryan felt the need to reassure her.

"Of course I do, Babe. But we don’t always get to do everything we want. You have to make sacrifices to get your needs met."

Suddenly, it dawned on Jamie that she was not just arguing with Ryan. She was arguing with the dozens of O’Flaherty’s and Ryan’s that had combined to instill the strict work ethic in her partner. "Honey," she soothed. "I agree that you must make sacrifices to get what you want. But what sense does it make to make an unnecessary sacrifice?"

Ryan didn’t have a ready answer for that, so she blew out another frustrated breath and lay back against the tile, wracking her brain for a good argument.

"Sweetheart," Jamie cooed. "I hate to be selfish, but I think we need time together as much as any other thing. Grad school is harder than undergrad, and your schoolwork will take up a lot more of your time. I think we have to make our relationship a priority too, Baby, and having time together is a must if we’re going to get along well.

Ryan could agree with some of Jamie’s arguments, but not others. "Okay, paying for grad school is a pretty major issue, Jamie. Let’s table that agenda item for a later date." A sincere smile assured her partner that her concerns were being heard. "For now, let’s settle the little issues, like buying me clothes and things."

Jamie hated to let the issue go, especially since she felt like she had Ryan backed up against the wall. But she decided that she didn’t want to win this argument as much as she wanted Ryan to agree to a compromise. Towards that end, she agreed to let the big issue go until another day, and concentrate on the issue that Ryan was comfortable with. "Okay, Honey. It’s like this. I am a very visual person. Visual stimulation arouses me more than my other senses. I’ve been dreaming of you in a big black leather jacket since the first time I put my arms around you that first night on your bike. Having this jacket really is for me, Ryan," she said sincerely. "I know you wouldn’t buy a jacket like that, so why deny myself the satisfaction of buying it for you, if I really want to see you in it?"

"Okay, you win that point. I’ll play dress up for you. You can buy me as many little outfits as your wicked heart desires. Police officer, fire fighter, construction worker, lumberjack, you name it. Now what about day-to-day things? Like dinners and golf and stuff?"

Jamie didn’t want to be harsh, but she felt like she had to be honest. "I’ve spent nine months going to crummy little take-out joints in Berkeley. I don’t mind it, because I’m with you, but I like to have an exquisite meal every once in a while. The last great meal I had was on my birthday, and you paid for that! Does it make sense to only go when you want to spend your money on the same thing? Or would you rather I went with someone else? I bet Chip would tag along..." she teased.

"I just bet he would," Ryan said through narrowed eyes. "So either I go out for fabulous dinners with you, or you find someone else to go with?"

"Pretty much," Jamie admitted with a laugh, feeling confident that her partner knew she was joking about alternate companions.

Her partner considered that extremely undesirable alternate and decided that she would rather swallow some of her pride. "All right, all right." Ryan shook her head partially capitulated. "Thanks to you, I now make a good living. I am learning that I enjoy a good meal almost as much as you do. So, I propose that we go out for a nice dinner twice a month. You pay once and I pay once." She cocked her head and waited for her partner’s reply.

A wide smile crossed Jamie’s face. "I like your style, O’Flaherty."

Ryan extended her hand and they shook on the agreement, each feeling that their needs had been met.

Now that their financial matters had been addressed, they decided it was time to play. They swam in the warm pool for a while, frolicking like otters. Jamie spent a lot of time climbing on Ryan’s back while she tried to swim. Then Ryan took advantage of her lover’s greater buoyancy and forced Jamie to carry her all around the pool as payback. When they were tired and wrinkled, Ryan got out and sat down on the chaise, pulling over the phone and dialing home. "Hey," she said when Conor picked up the phone.

"Oooh, it’s the honeymooners," he laughed. "Did you call to give me a blow by blow?"

"I’ll give you one word to sum up the entire experience," she teased. "It’s…fine."

"Well, since you obviously won’t share the dirty details with me, why are you calling?"

"How would you like to come down on Saturday and play Pebble Beach with me, and then give me a lift home?"

"Oh gee, Ryan, I’d love to, but I was going to wash my hair on Saturday," he drawled. "Are you nuts? When and where--I’m there."

"Jamie’s got to go to a graduation on Saturday, and she’s leaving at 10:30, so I thought we could play a bit after that."

"Hmmm." There was a brief silence as he worked out the logistics. "How about if I come down after work on Friday? Then I don’t have to allow four hours on Saturday morning to drive down there."

"Oh, gee, Conor, I don’t know...that’s our last night here..."

"Listen, you sex maniac, I don’t want to interrupt your little party, I just don’t want to drive that far in the morning. Leave the front door unlocked with a note telling me where to sleep. You can keep right on doing whatever you do in your bedroom, or the dining room or wherever you perform."

Ryan laughed at his teasing and told him to hold on for a second. "Jamie, could Conor come down on Friday night and stay in the guest apartment?"

"Sure, that’s a much better idea. I’d like to see him."

"I wouldn’t," she laughed. "That’s why I want to put him in the guest apartment!"

She put the handset back to her mouth. "Okay, bro, it’s all set. I’ll leave a note on the door telling you where to sleep. Now get a pencil to take down the directions. Oh, and Conor, look sharp for golf. They’re not used to our kind around here," she laughed as Jamie rolled her eyes.

After the call, Jamie went over and climbed onto Ryan’s lap. She wriggled around a little to get comfortable, and finally satisfied herself with her position.

"Do you know what I want to hear?" Ryan asked as Jamie reclined on her.

"What’s that, Honey?"

"I want to hear more about this leather fetish," she said in a low voice.

"I wouldn’t really call it a fetish," Jamie said, a little shyly. "But that first night that you took me for a ride on your bike started my imagination working overtime. Every time I saw you on it, I thought of you in a big leather jacket, a white tank top and your ripped jeans."

"What did you have me doing in your fantasy?" Ryan was fascinated by this glimpse into Jamie’s dream world and wanted all of the details.

"Well, at first it wasn’t you in my fantasy." Ryan frowned in puzzlement at that, but Jamie was oblivious, lost in her vision. "I would just think about some dark stranger in a bar, holding a beer, looking tough. It wasn’t clear whether it was a man or a woman. I guess that should have been another clue, huh?" She laughed as she slapped herself in the forehead. "But as time went on, and it was clear that I wanted you, I would imagine you as the dark stranger in that scenario. I’d come in, and you’d just take me, right there in the bar."

Ryan’s eyes narrowed and her pulse picked up as she envisioned herself in her assigned role. "Sounds pretty hot," she said with fervor. "Was there any conversation?"