Cocktails & Dreams (27 page)

“Get the hell out of here, stupid. I don’t offer these little boons often.”

“Thanks,” Nicholas said quietly, turning toward his locker and starting to shrug off his white coat. He suddenly remembered the concert and turned back toward his boss. “Listen, I’d gladly stay tonight if I can go home on time in a few—”

“Don’t push your luck, Nick,” the resident warned, heading out the door. “Take what you can get. Tonight’s a guarantee.”

Nick slammed the coat in his locker. “Right. Thanks.”

One drive later, he was hesitating outside Jena’s door, thinking that maybe he should have just gone home. Jena did say she had to study. Maybe she was counting on this time before Nick could reasonably be expected to get away from the hospital to get stuff done. Nick decided that he should head back to his apartment. He had his own studying to do, and laundry needed to be done, and he hadn’t spent much time with Conor lately, and…

Nicholas’s body bypassed his brain and knocked.

Jena pulled the door open, book in hand and a questioning smile on her face. Any doubts Nick had about coming over were erased immediately when her eyes lit up and she flung her arms around his neck, dropping her book behind him and kissing the hollow behind his ear before she pulled him into the room.

“How did you escape? Did Dr. Dick drop from exhaustion?” She snickered and nudged him.

“Funny.” Wrapping his arms around Jena, Nicholas buried his face in her hair before kissing her lips hard. “He just found a slight human impulse and let me go before I passed out on the floor. Do you mind me coming over?”

She rolled her eyes and didn’t bother answering.

As promised, Jena had made chicken enchiladas, and they each ate a couple, saving the rest for Travis who was playing again that night. After dinner, she insisted that Nick “get comfy” and raided Travis’s room for sweats and a T-shirt.

Nicholas guessed that after stealing a man’s condoms, his clothes were easy to take.

They settled down in the living room with their books and files, and the next couple of hours passed quietly as they studied. Actually, as Jena studied, because the more time went by, the less Nicholas read, preferring to watch her instead. He’d never seen her quiet intensity before, aside from work. Even there, she was kind and encouraging to her patients first. You had to look closely to see how intently she watched each motion the patient made, making sure it was correct. Outside of work, she was playful and funny and often endearingly silly. Watching her tonight, though, it was clear even that was somewhat of a cover for a fierce intelligence. She worked from an outline, checking and rechecking her facts from several sources before she wrote anything on her paper.

Nick finally gave up any pretense of reading his own files and lay on the couch with his head next to her leg. Jena smiled down at him, stroking his cheek with one hand.

“Just a few more minutes, okay?” she said. “I’m almost done for tonight.”

Nicholas struggled to keep his eyes open as she began running her fingers through his hair. She turned her eyes back to her book, chewing her lip absently and mouthing certain phrases as she read them from her paper, as if making sure they sounded right. His heavy eyelids finally drifted closed.

Quiet voices awakened him, and he struggled to logy awareness.

“Sshh…I’m here, Trav. Use the kitchen light, okay?” Jena’s quiet voice came from above Nick, and he realized that he’d moved his head onto her lap at some point. Soft fingers ran soothingly over his shoulder, and he relaxed again. Faint light glowed through Nick’s eyelids from behind the couch somewhere. He heard the refrigerator door open and close, and the microwave run briefly.

“How was the gig?”

“Loud.” Travis settled into the chair and breathed a sigh of relief. “Remind me not to wear these boots again for a while. Fuck, my feet hurt.” Jena laughed quietly. Nick heard the clink of silverware on china. “So, when did sleeping beauty get here? Poor guy looks exhausted.”

Jena stroked Nicholas’s hair again. “Pretty much. He got off work early, for once. Where’s Leisa?”

“She has an early meeting.” Travis was quiet for a minute. “Has Nick ever explained why he hung up on you that night and didn’t call for fucking ever?”

“Misunderstanding. Nicholas thought I hung up on him. Probably a dropped call—I never checked.” She let out one bitter chuckle. “What a colossal fuck up. He won’t talk about the rest of it, Trav.
That
scares the crap out of
me
. If I don’t know how it happened in the first place, how am I supposed to be sure that it won’t happen again? And I have to wonder if maybe I should just know…”

The quiet sadness in her voice made Nicholas’s heart ache.

Travis leaned over and kissed Jena’s forehead. “You know what
I
think.
Talk.
Hang in there, girl.” After a second, his door quietly closed.

Nicholas slid his arm around Jena’s waist and pressed his cheek to her stomach for a minute. “I thought you would be happier without me, Jena. You sounded so sad on the phone, and I never wanted that for you. I went a little crazy for a while, but I tried so hard to let you go…”

Jena drew in a sharp breath, and her fingers stopped moving. “Nicholas, you don’t have to say—”

“Yeah, I do.” Nick searched for her eyes in the gloom. “You deserve someone who isn’t so scared of loving. And whose family isn’t so fucked up. Someone else.” He squeezed her more tightly, glad for the darkness.

“I don’t want someone else, Nicholas. I want you. I don’t give a crap about your family.” Her voice shook as she took a shuddery breath. “I needed you so much and I didn’t even see you once, or hear your voice, and…it hurt.”

“I saw you,” Nick admitted quietly. “I tried to stay away, but I just couldn’t. I followed you around campus a couple of times.”

“Why didn’t you talk to me? I only wanted a little break, to think about how I could balance how I feel about you with having a real life. I didn’t want you to go away forever.”

“I’m a dumbass. Ask Conor.” They both laughed a little, and Nick sat up, pulling Jena onto his lap. She snuggled her head into his chest.

“I’m a dumbass, too,” she said after a minute. “I talked to you in my mind rather than picking up the stupid phone and talking to
you
. I’m stubborn like that when I’m mad.”

“I called my dad a fucktard.” Nick laughed. “Totally shut him up. I don’t know if he was insulted or confused.” Jena started giggling.

“I threatened to cut my mother’s tongue out and move to Hawaii if she ever spoke to you again without my express permission. And to smash her computer if she didn’t stop Googling you. I’m violent, too, just so you know.”

“I went with Conor to the gym the day you guys played racquetball. I just wanted to see you for a minute,” Nicholas admitted. Jena got quiet. “I waited in the car to see you meet him. You were beautiful and smiling, and I was sure I’d done the right thing by not calling you. I was sitting there, still thinking about it when you came out the side door and that guy met you.”

“Peter.”

“Whatever. It felt like someone punched me in the chest when I saw you together.” Nicholas leaned his cheek against the top of Jena’s head. “Then I made an ass of myself when you went out to dinner. So I win the dumbass prize, with the ‘pitiful’ upgrade.” He yawned hugely. “Sorry.”

Jena slid from Nick’s lap and stood. “Come on. Bedtime.” He waggled his eyebrows at her, and she laughed. “Correction. Sleep time. You can demonstrate your mad bed skills when you’re fully rested. What time do you have to be up tomorrow?”

“Seven.”

Jena began towing Nicholas across the living room. “So, if you go right to sleep, that gives you a full six and a half hours, which will probably feel like heaven. Add that to your nap, and you will have had a human level of sleep for once.”

Nick caught up to her and grabbed her hips, pulling her against him and continuing their walk toward her room. He snaked one hand under her shirt to stroke her stomach. “
You
feel like heaven,” he said, and she shivered. “Mad skills, huh?” He blew softly on her neck, and she pulled away, laughing.

“Don’t get a swelled head, Nicholas.”

He grinned and slid between the sheets. “Too late.” Flipping back the covers on her side of the bed, he murmured in a low voice, “Coming?”

Jena shook her finger at him in mock indignation. “No fair using the sexy voice and naughty words.” Her stern façade crumbled, and she smiled. “I’m going back out on the couch if you don’t promise to go right to sleep.”

Sighing theatrically, Nick flopped back against the pillow. “Fine—I promise.” As tired as he felt, he was actually glad to just hold Jena with no expectations of more. The next morning would be a different thing altogether. She got under the covers, snuggling against him with a contented air.

She rubbed her cheek against his chest, resting her ear over his heart where her hand usually rested. “I love that sound,” she whispered and listened for a minute before sliding her head over to his shoulder. “Thanks for telling me why you didn’t call. I’m a big girl, though, and I can decide what I need, okay?”

“Understood. No more
me
making decisions about what’s good for
you
.” Nicholas tipped her chin up and kissed her lingeringly.

Jena broke the kiss with sharp intake of breath, trailing her lips over his jaw and nipping at his neck. “I can’t wait for the weekend.” She smiled against his neck. “I miss the scruff.”

Opening his mouth to reply, Nicholas embarrassed himself by yawning. “God, I’m sorry.”

She smiled and pressed one more kiss on his lips. “You’re just too distracting, mister. Go to sleep.” She turned over on her side, and Nicholas immediately wrapped his arm around her waist.

“Mad bed skills and a sexy voice…You are so in trouble tomorrow morning,” he rumbled, already relaxing into sleep.

As he drifted off, Nick heard her whisper, “Promise?” He smiled and struggled to open his eyes, but it was too late—he was asleep.

It didn’t occur to him until much later that in the middle of the confessions and the jokes, they’d missed a chance to consider how well they really
did
know each other.

“O
NE
M
ORE
R
EP
, K
AREN
,” Jena said, gritting her teeth as her slight patient made a half-hearted attempt to raise the leg weights. “You can do this. Just think about hitting the track again.”

“That’s exactly what I
don’t
want to think about,” her patient muttered as she let her leg go limp.

Jena closed her eyes briefly and counted to five. She’d suspected Karen wasn’t putting her heart into her treatment plan, but it irritated her beyond belief to have her suspicions confirmed. This was not a day that she wanted to be worried about her treatment success rate.

“For me, then, kid.” Jena turned to see Travis looming over her shoulder, shooting Karen his most winning smile. “You have no idea how hard Jena can be to live with when things don’t go her way,” he said.

With a reluctant smile, Karen went at her exercises with renewed enthusiasm, under Travis’s encouraging gaze. As she crutched to the door at the end of her session, casting adoring looks at Travis every few steps, Jena sighed.

“Thanks, Trav.”

Travis grinned and ruffled her hair. “No problem. It looked kinda like you were considering whacking her, so I thought I’d help out.”

Jena nodded tightly and headed for the office, Travis following in her wake. He leaned in the doorway, clicking his pen, and watched her toss papers into her bag.

“So today is your meeting with Call, right?” he finally asked.

Jena nodded, feeling her shoulders tighten further. After numerous reschedulings, she’d finally gotten a solid appointment time to talk to her boss about whether her future in UC Davis’s physical therapy program would be affected by Call’s relationship with Nick’s father. The thought of having to bring her personal life into her professional life made her feel slightly ill.

“Yep. Right now, in fact.” She grabbed her coat and swung her bag over her shoulder. “Prepared to find a new roommate if this doesn’t go well?” she asked, forcing a smile.

Travis crossed the room and folded her in his arms. “Don’t even think that way, Jen. This is just…being proactive. Call is a reasonable guy.” He kissed her on the temple, hard. “I’ll see you at home, girl.”

Jena squeezed him back and headed for the door, calling over her shoulder, “Have the Captain primed and ready for me, just in case.”

“Gig—sorry. Call me if you need me?”

Jena nodded and waved as she stepped into the elevator to meet her fate.

As she rode up to the administrative offices, she breathed deeply, trying to calm her nerves. “Professional, professional, professional,” she muttered to herself. She felt a fleeting instant of anger toward Nicholas, and was immediately ashamed. No matter how personally repelled she felt at having to approach her boss like this, it wasn’t Nick’s fault. Still…

She kicked her heel into the side of the elevator and let a rush of frustration course through her. It wasn’t his fault, but maybe it was hers. If she knew Nicholas better, knew his family before they’d gotten into…whatever they were into…so deeply, maybe she could have predicted his father’s distaste for her. Maybe she could have done something so that he didn’t feel that way. Maybe she could have walked away before any of this was necessary.

No.

Judging by the way her chest ached when she even thought about losing Nicholas, that wasn’t a real possibility. Not if she wanted to keep breathing in and out. She
would
talk to Dr. Call, everything
would
be okay, and she’d go on with life with Nick. She couldn’t think of anything else happening.

The elevator door opened, and Jena walked down the hall to Call’s office, preparing a smile for his secretary, who informed her that the doctor could see her in a moment. Jena took a seat and fought off the next wave of doubt. What if she went through all of this, and things didn’t work out between her and Nicholas? What if the easy, natural way they had together was due to sex, and once that was old hat, he was gone? What if—

“Dr. Call can see you now.” The secretary smiled again, and Jena jumped to her feet.

“Please have a seat.” Dr. Call’s voice was deep and smooth as he gestured to the chair in front of his desk. “How can I help you, Jena?”

Jena concentrated on Nick’s face, and sent up a silent prayer that she was doing the right thing. “Dr. Call—” she began, glancing up to see his genuine smile and was encouraged to continue. Taking a deep breath, she started again. “This is potentially embarrassing for both of us, so I apologize in advance.”

His perfect eyebrows drew down slightly. “All right. Continue,” he said, his tone neutral.

“I’m seeing Nicholas Cooper,” Jena blurted out. She smoothed her hands over her thighs and tried to calm her pounding heart.
Professional, Jena
. “You knew that of course, from the brunch.” She flashed Call a weak smile, and he nodded for her to continue. She hesitated, and then decided to get it out there. “For some reason, his father has taken a dislike to me, and I wanted to be sure that would not impact my career, given your relationship with him. I don’t mean to imply that you are biased, but…I really like what I do. And I’m good at it. And I know you have the power to help or hurt me professionally. I wanted to be upfront about this, and I hope like hell that this was an unnecessary appointment.” She felt stronger the longer she talked. “Please tell me if I need to transfer to a different school, while I might still be able to get in at the beginning of the next term.”

Dr. Call was quiet, studying Jena before he answered. “I talked to Will Cooper just recently in fact.” Jena’s heart plunged to her shoes. Dr. Call looked out his office window; he appeared to be choosing his words carefully. “He’s worried about his son, Jena. Medical school is cruelly difficult without any other distractions at the best of times.” He sighed and turned back to her, looking tired now. “People find this hard to believe, but there is a reason for that difficulty. As doctors, we often have the power of life or death in our hands. We hope to God that we’ll never have to make a medical decision under extreme pressure…but it can happen any time, and the excuse of ‘I was tired’ doesn’t mean much to a grieving family if we make a mistake. So we train these kids to think well and quickly under pressure, no matter how much sleep they’ve gotten or what kind of things are going on in their real lives. Does that make sense?”

Jena nodded, and he continued. “What I think Will has forgotten is that our older students sometimes find the transition more difficult than the kids right out of school. They do better with something solid outside of the hospital, because they’re wise enough to know we don’t own them, damn it.” He leaned back in his chair. “What he’s got right is that those relationships can be tricky. If they get unstable…” He sighed. “A doctor’s wife, especially a young doctor’s wife, spends a lot of time alone, Jena.”

An immediate flush suffused her face. “We—I mean that’s not—we haven’t talked—”

Dr. Call held up one hand to stop the word vomit. “Understood. I’ve overstepped.” He smiled. “You have nothing to worry about, Jena. You’re good at your job, and I’m glad to have you at the PT center. I appreciate your forthrightness about this. You’ve got character.”

He rose and came around the desk, sitting on the edge and folding his arms across his chest. “That was as your boss. On a more personal note, let me give you a little more invasive advice. Will Cooper can be a difficult man, but he’s not vicious, and he loves his son very much. Give him time, Jena. He’ll come around.”

Jena sighed, thinking of Dr. Cooper’s trick with Sofia, and wondered if Dr. Call knew his friend quite as well as he thought he did. “I hope so. Thanks for meeting with me, Dr. Call.”

“No problem.” He waved her toward the door. “Go home and take care of my med student.” He picked up the phone on his desk and winked. “I hear that he’s doing much better lately. You wouldn’t have anything to do with that, would you?”

Jena smiled and waved, shutting the door quietly before walking to the elevator. Fishing her phone out of her bag, she heard the loud buzz that indicated a new text as soon as she turned it back on:

Emergency. Call you later? I want to hear about your meeting.

Coming so soon after Dr. Call’s warning, Nick’s text made her smile wryly. After responding positively, Jena impulsively called Leisa and arranged to meet her at a local restaurant.

She just had time to order a drink when Leisa bustled up to the table and tossed her jacket on the seat across from Jena.

Leisa hugged her before she slid into the booth. “God, it seems like I haven’t seen you in forever, Jena.” She pushed her hair away from her face and smiled, her eyes sharp as she searched Jena’s face. “And how’s Dr. Drunk? I’m glad he didn’t die of alcohol poisoning.”

Jena laughed. “So am I.”

“After all, necrophilia is illegal, I hear,” Leisa said placidly, ignoring Jena’s groan as she pulled her glasses down to the tip of her nose so she could stare at Jena over them. “I also hear that things are noisy around your way. Wanna tell me all about it?”

“Not in your wildest dreams.”

“Well, damn. Guess I’m stuck hearing about work.” Leisa sighed dramatically and turned toward the grinning waiter that stood waiting for their order.

Two hours, two enchiladas, a bowl of chips, and several drinks later, they had moved beyond shoptalk and insults and into relationships. Leisa shook her head slowly as Jena related the details of her meeting with Dr. Call.

“Bad news,
chica
,” she said sympathetically. “What are you going to tell Nick about his dad talking about him with your boss?”

Jena made a snap decision. “Nothing. He knows that I was meeting with Call about my job. The rest of it would just upset him for nothing.” She swallowed her amaretto sour and tried to convince herself that she’d decided correctly.

Leaning back in her seat, Leisa toyed with the stem of her margarita glass. “Jen…I’d never ask this without the evil and delicious Patron coursing through my veins…but is all this drama worth it?”

Jena abruptly stopped chewing the ice she’d just shaken into her mouth. “What do you mean, Leisa? Is it worth saving my job? Absolutely.”

“No…” Leisa said slowly. “No, you were right about facing that head on. What I meant was…well, Nick.” She glanced up at Jena’s shocked face and winced. “We’ve known each other for a lot of years, so I’m going to be straight with you. Don’t get me wrong, Jen, he’s great, but is it serious enough to go through this? Especially given all the crap from Stevie’s? There are a lot of great lays out there, still unexplored.”

Jena swallowed hard, her mind whirling. “Is that what you think, Leisa? That this is all about sex? Damn!” She turned to grab her jacket off the seat next to her, conveniently ignoring her own anxiety about that very thing just earlier that day, but was stopped by Leisa’s iron grip on her wrist.

“Hold up, Jena!” she said. Jena turned back around, and looked pointedly at Leisa’s hand. “Seriously, sit down.” She held on until Jena had settled back. “I’m sorry if I’ve misread things. I’m just—what is he to you?”

A myriad of memories spun through Jena’s brain: dancing with Nicholas when she was just eighteen, him teasing her about her love for stupid movies (most of which he could quote as well as she could), the argument about Hemingway they’d had just the week before, his look of quiet intensity as she described an injury whose treatment was evading her, and the suggestions he made that had made all the difference, the way he held her while they slept…the naked emotion in his eyes when she caught him looking at her unawares, and the way her own heart responded.

She leaned forward. “
Everything
, Leisa. He means everything to me,” she said urgently. “I know caring so much is stupid, but…” She searched for words.

“Hey,” Leisa said quietly. Jena met her eyes with a look of mute pleading, hoping she could be understood without words. “I get it. I really do. Can you forgive me for still reserving judgment about him, though? He scared the hell out of us that night.”

Jena sighed. “Me, too. I can’t help loving him, though.”

“‘Loving’?”
Leisa opened her mouth in exaggerated shock, and laughed when Jena tossed a chip at her. “At least you’re not risking everything for just a great ass.” She skated her eyes toward a waiter two tables over, who was crouched to pick up a dropped fork. “Like that one. Oh my gah…I’d like to take a bite out of that.”

Jena was laughing when she picked up her vibrating phone. “Hello?”

She could hardly hear Travis’s voice over the cacophony in the bar. “As much as I adore hearing about your true love, Jen,” he said with a long-suffering tone, “I called to tell you to tell
my
true love to hang up her damn butt-dialed phone. I’ve been screaming my head off, but she obviously can’t hear me through all the lust.”

Jena handed the phone to Leisa, grinning as Leisa started her twisty verbal dance to get herself out of trouble. Jena looked around the room as Leisa murmured into the phone, wishing that Nick was sitting beside her instead of racing around the hospital again. A tiny smile played around her lips as she recalled Call’s warning that a doctor’s wife spent a lot of time alone…not that she was even
thinking
along those lines…still…

Leisa waved a hand in Jena’s face and then tossed her the phone when she was sure she had her friend’s attention. “That looked like an interesting thought, Jen,” she said with a smile. She grabbed her coat and the check. “On me. I have to go reassure my man about his ass.” She shook her head. “He puts so much faith in those ‘perfect jeans,’ I hate crushing his little world. Need a ride home?”

After a quick hug in the parking lot and a promise to get together more often, Jena headed home. She’d barely dropped her bag on the chair beside the door when her phone rang.

“Hey, beautiful. How was dinner?” Nicholas sounded tired after his nearly eighteen-hour day. “Did your mouth have anything funny to say that I missed?”