Code of Control (16 page)

Chapter Seventeen

Charlotte could
not believe Nolan dared say this to her. She was not going to cause his demise.
Why would he even think this of her? Why would he even say it aloud, even if
thinking it? It was quite hurtful to hear. Highly trained, years on
cyber-attack cases, she was the best of the best—a female elite recruit anyone should
be proud to have on their team. He should be thanking God he had her as his
partner, not throwing in her face snippy chicken comments, or staring at her
ass most of the past half hour, getting hot and bothered in his pants. She
wasn’t stupid. She heard the change in his voice when she started walking ahead
of him. Nolan, walking at a steady pace behind her, was horny—the bastard—and
of all the times in the world when she could have enjoyed a man looking at her
ass and him getting hard over it…

Well, this was
not the time or place. She sniffed back the tears, having a sudden emotional
letdown.

Nolan touched
her shoulder, making her jump out of her skin. “You okay?”

She did not dare
turn to him with tears in her eyes. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t sound
fine.” He did not give her the choice to avoid him. He turned her with very
little effort. “It’ll be okay,” he reiterated.

Charlotte
wrenched out of his grip, humiliated. “I know.”

“Then why the
tears?”

“Must you know
everything?”

“When it concerns
me, yes.”

“This does not
concern you,” she forced out, biting on her bottom lip to keep from reacting
badly to the circumstances.

“You crying on
my watch is of my utmost concern,” he said softly.

Dammit! If he’d
yelled at her she might have been able to hold it together. Nolan’s gentleness
was her undoing. She burst into a fit of tears, Nolan stepping up to her and
drawing her into a tight embrace. He set his uninjured hand at the back of her
neck, while she cried against his shirtfront.

“I suck at
this,” she blubbered.

“Suck at what?”

“This…us…me, trying
to ignore the fact one minute you want me and the next you don’t.”

“I never,
ever
said I did not want you,” he admitted, holding no shame in his eyes or in the
sound of his voice.

Her eyes met
his. “Yes…you have.”

His strong arm
tightened around her. “When have I ever said to you I did not want you?”

His voice a
thick rasp, the gooseflesh drew to her arms. She tipped her head back and
looked him in the eyes, rudely snorting in his face to hide her true feelings.
“Not
want
want, but want me on your team…this case…with you…

“You’re not
making sense,” he said. “Of course I want you.”

“I know!” Two
words, that forced the tears to fall harder.

“Good God, Charlotte,
I want you more than life itself. I want you on my team. I want you all to
myself. You certainly keep a man on his toes, that’s for damn sure.”

“But you don’t
want
me
…” she sputtered again.

He looked at her
strangely. “Are you going through some kind of PMS shit right now…or something going
on in that head of yours that I should know about? Schizophrenia perhaps?”

Charlotte
gasped. “W—what an awful thing to say to—”

“Shhh,” he
suddenly said, pressing a finger against her lips.

She yanked her
face away from his hand. “Don’t you dare shush me…”

“Charlotte,
please, I hear something on the ridge above us.” Nolan’s eyes wide, they went
searching through the darkness for whatever the sound was.

Charlotte shut
up instantaneously.

“Over there,” he
said, pointing to his left.

“What is over
there?” The fear inside her came out in a slight panicking lilt to her voice.
“Animal or human?”

“Not sure, but
we are definitely going to have to check it out.”

“Nolan?”

“Hmm?”

She moved up to
him quickly, grabbed his face, and planted a huge kiss on his lips. “Thank
you.”

“For what?” he
said, licking off the moisture from her kiss.

Instead of
answering this, she gave him a softened smile, and then lowered her gaze to his
crotch.

“Hell, Charlotte!”
he blurted, his tone a tight rasp in her ears.

“It would be
possible,” she offered bluntly.

“Not now…it
would not be!”

“Why not now?”
She even cupped his growing bulge, proving her point. He was as hard as a rock
in her hand. Still, he gasped, taking a firm step from her reach.

“Fuck,
Charlotte! What’s gotten into you?”

Her head bobbed.
“Yes, do fuck Charlotte,” she said sweetly. “Fuck her until she can’t stand it
anymore. You just admitted to wanting me.”

“Okay…” he
drawled out. “Now I know you have gone insane. Too many bug bites? Crashed
harder than I thought when I threw you out of the airplane?”

“I’m not insane.
I want sex with you. You’re ready. I’m ready. You admitted to wanting me. What’s
the holdup?”

“The holdup is I
suddenly wonder if you are not seriously demented,” he ruled, grinning at her
in spite of these harsh words. “Anyone ever ask you this?”

“Drop your
pants, Mr. Morgan.”

“Dr—drop my
what
?”
His eye sockets had widened. “I will do no such thing. We need to check out
that sound before it disappears. It could be our ticket out of here.”

Charlotte took a
step forward. Nolan took a retreating step away from her—instinct, little else.

“We can check it
out later,” she commented dryly.

“No we cannot,”
he ruled.

“Why?”

“B—because…” He
sounded flabbergasted. Now how could that be?

“
Because
is not an acceptable answer, Mr. Morgan,” she taunted.

“Well, it’s the
only one you’re going to get, Ms. Raven,” he answered quickly.

“You said you
want me…I think I just proved you do…”

Nolan suddenly
lunged for her, tossing her to the ground.

“Jesus, Nolan! A
little rough, even for you, but I suppose this will have to do for the time
being…”

“Shut the hell
up. There is someone standing above us on the ridge, and he doesn’t look ready
to be nice.”

Charlotte
stopped the sexual teasing and hurriedly glanced toward the ridge. She could
just make out the shadow of a man holding a gun in his hands, searching in the
dark for something. Hopefully, they were not this
something
. A flurry of
Spanish, the man took off at a clip in the opposite direction.

“What did he
say?” she asked in a small whisper. “I couldn’t make most of it out.”

He set his lips
near her ear. “He said we are in deep shit if you do not shut the hell up.”

Terror hit her
swift and sure when she felt his muscles tighten.

“Get up,” he
ordered, making the initial move.

“Wouldn’t it be much
better to stay down?” Yet she rose from the ground, slowly, making little sound.

“Let’s get
moving,” he said, still holding his words to barely audible. He then grabbed
her hand and they made a quick beeline for deeper underbrush, just as an older
vehicle came tearing down the ridge, its three occupants all holding guns.

They ducked
behind a rotting log, hiding every part of their bodies as the vehicle passed
without incident.

“I’d say those
are not the guys who would be willing to help us getting to the nearest town,”
she whispered near his head.

“No. I do
believe you are right on that one.” Without warning, he kissed her.

“What was that
for?” she whispered, licking her lips.

“First
installment toward maximum capacity, sweetheart,” he said, grinning from ear to
ear.

“Are you saying
you’re ready to drop your pants for a quickie while surrounded by men with guns?”

“Ready when you
are, babe,” he said playfully.

Thrilled they
could find humor in a very bad situation; Charlotte gave Nolan a deep smile, her
smile falling when another vehicle came over the ridge with just as many men
toting guns as the first one. This vehicle practically screamed past their
hideout.

“Nolan?”

“Yes,
Charlotte?”

“I was born
ready.”

He turned toward
her and his grin was the best thing to witness at that point. “I just bet you
were.”

“Oh, I was. It
was in the file that you did not read.”

“I read it.”

“No, you di—”
she began, stopping abruptly.

The man’s
dimples had sunk so deep in his face she highly doubted they could go any
deeper.

“You ass!”

Nolan grabbed
her face, gave her another quick kiss, and then laughed. “Did you really think
you would be here if I hadn’t read your file?”

“I shall
repeat…what an ass!”

“Yours’ isn’t
half bad either, sweetheart,” he said, still laughing.

Chapter Eighteen

This was not
supposed to be how his first case with Charlotte began. Everything about their
crash, and now strenuous trek through dense jungle seemed planned to him—a
setup. A bad feeling surged through his gut. Add in the aspect of strange
vehicles running through the jungle in the dead of night, with each occupant of
those vehicles toting heavy firepower…

Damn. Not one
minute of this felt right to him.

His wrist wasn’t
doing him any favors, either. The more branches and fronds he had to push aside
for her, the worse the pain was getting, even with the makeshift sling she made.
He’d almost blacked out a few minutes ago, keeping this to himself, but that
was not because of his wrist. Perspiration was draining him dry.

Out of the
corner of his eye, he could see she was having as rough of time as he with
walking through the undergrowth. The moonlight was there, but it was not
penetrating the canopy for proper vision, so they were literally walking in
shadows.

Howler monkeys scared
both of them a few miles back, he and Charlotte unfortunately discovering a large
troop high in the canopy; none quiet about his and hers presence in the Belize
wilderness. Even the frogs stopped their raucous mating ritual—and damn if
there were not a ton of frogs in this place. He tried avoiding every damn one
of them.

He couldn’t ask
Charlotte if she knew which was poisonous. She’d probably say she did, start up
another history lesson, and he was already grinding his teeth on the amount of
actual knowledge she had in her brain.

“Can we stop?”
she suddenly asked near his side. She’d been quiet ever since she’d heard the
Howlers.

He hurriedly
glanced at her face. “Do you have to?”

“No, I don’t
have to,” she said snippily.

“Then why do you
want to?”

“I’m weak. I
know you don’t want to hear this, but I am. I’m weak, pathetic, and I need to
catch my breath.”

His brows went
high. “I never said you are weak or pathetic.”

“Then why the
hell would you question me on
why
I would want to stop?”

“It was just a
question.”

“It was a rude
question.”

“Excuse me for
losing my manners over the past few hours. Mr. Perfect is not with you on this
trip.”

“Mr. P—” She
stopped, grabbed his arm, and yanked hard to get him to face her, Nolan
groaning aloud to the unnecessary jarring. “We are lost, aren’t we?”

“As lost as
ever,” he said honestly, hoping a rush of adrenaline would deaden the pain.

“Then why the
hell are we just walking around if you don’t know where we are?”

He yanked his
arm out of her firm grip. “It’s better than sitting on our asses, pretending
this does not suck. It gives us something to do.”

“Sitting would
be a whole lot better. At least for five minutes, if you would be so kind as to
allow me that much. And I can think of plenty of things I would rather be doing
than walking in the dead of night, wasting energy I don’t have.”

He drew in a
deep breath and held it. It came out of his lungs as a burdened sigh. “I’m sure
you can.” His grin did not match his mood, however.

When she did not
respond, he added, “Fine, sit. We move on in ten minutes. End of discussion.”

“Make it twenty
and you’ve got a deal,” she said, grinning at his face.

Nolan clenched
and unclenched his jaw. “Twenty…and not a minute more.”

Charlotte did
not argue her case. She plopped down on the nearest fallen log and let out a
heavy groan. Nolan followed suit, gingerly, sitting next to her. He glanced
upward, dragging in a deeper breath. What he would not give for a glass of
water…and a huge shot of morphine. Okay, two shots, followed by that
still-waiting-for bottle of rum she’d mentioned.

For agonizing
minutes, neither severed the silence while catching the breath. Five minutes
later, Charlotte groaned, drawing his gaze to her.

“What?” he
asked.

“I was thinking.
Can’t a person think around here?”

“Not when it’s
accompanied by a groan.”

“Well, excuse me
for groaning. You’ve done enough of them.” She clamped her lips shut and turned
away from him.

Ten minutes
later, he broke the strangled silence eating away at his core. “Fine, spill
it.”

“Spill what?”

“Whatever it was
you’d been thinking earlier.”

“Why the hell should
I tell you now?”

“Charlotte?” His
tone demanded quick answer.

Taking a deep
breath, she turned to face him again. “What is it about you and Devon that
keeps the two of you so far apart?”

“What the hell
kind of question is that?” He did not want to talk about Devon. Hell, he may
never see his twin again, and there was a lot between them that hadn’t been
said—no closure, open wounds.

“Observation,”
she declared.

“Observe someone
else’s affairs,” he muttered rudely.

“Nolan?”

“What?”

“Partners,
remember? Open honesty?”

“Fine,” he
grumbled. “Devon is my polar opposite. I had a hard time growing up with a twin.
He did his thing. I did mine. We weren’t that close, as one would think.”

“Aren’t twins
supposed to be exactly alike, love each other and know the other’s thoughts?”

“You’d think
that,” he supplied.

“And you’re not
close,” she said, making it a statement.

“No, we are not.
I highly doubt he even thought I was serious about the crash. I have a bad
feeling he’ll wait until the Team tells him we’re missing before he’ll do
anything about it.”

“Why?”

“Devon likes
authority. I stepped on his toes, taking most of it away from him.”

“What do you
mean?” she pondered.

“I took the job
he wanted and he hasn’t forgiven me for that. He got even for it, let me assure
you, but he hasn’t forgiven me.”

“How did he get
even?”

“I really don’t
want to get into this with you,” he said, looking away. “Some things are
personal.”

She laid a
gentle hand on his arm, drawing his attention back to her. Her deep blue gaze
locked on tight. “Nolan Morgan, I know every inch of your body. You and I are
way past personal. We are a team, a couple. You can’t keep pushing me away.
Eventually you will have to accept the fact you wanted me as your partner. I
know you’ve accepted this on paper, but I don’t think you have in reality.”

“We had sex.
That doesn’t make us a couple, Charlotte.”

“I know that.
What it makes us is close. So open up and tell me why you and your brother seem
at odds with each other, almost combative.”

“Devon had an
affair with Charity, that’s why.”

There. No
take-backs. The truth was out and she could do what she wanted with it. It no
longer affected him as much as it had.

Hell, what a
lie! He was still fuming about his brother’s betrayal, more so Charity’s. How
could two people he thought he knew break apart his marriage, then his soul?
Carolyn hasn’t forgiven him for her mother’s accidental death, and Devon hadn’t
said he was sorry for the affair. Charity could not make amends while six feet
under and rotting in Hell, so she was off the hook by default.

Nolan felt the
betrayal all over again, ripping apart his gut, staggering him. Charlotte’s
heavy sigh did not make him feel any better.

“I sort of
thought this…you know, the way the two of you went at each other when you
thought I’d slept with him.”

“How could you
possibly tell?”

“Easy. Something
in your eyes gave you away. It was in the way you looked at your daughter’s
photograph, too.”

He stared at her
face—hard. “You’re eerie. Anyone ever tell you that?”

“Just because I
sensed something?”

“Yes.”

“Fine, I’m
eerie. But you’re in deep denial.”

“Denial about
what?”

“Denial about
wanting another commitment with a woman.”

“Jesus! How did
this evolve into a relationship therapy session all of a sudden?”

“We are in the
jungle of Belize, lost, and have no way to contact
OSHIT
. Both of us
will need a ton of therapy after this. Get used to it.”

“Get used to
it?” he sputtered, keeping his gaze steady on her face. He then burst out
laughing. “I’m not afraid of commitment. I haven’t found a woman worth
committing to, that’s all.”

“There are
plenty of women in the world, Nolan,” she said quietly. “Pick one. I promise it
won’t hurt.”

“Hell, Charlotte,
there is only one woman who is brave enough to say to a man’s face he has
commitment issues.”

“Yes, only one,”
she ruled with a grin.

He reached his
arm around her, drawing her close to his chest, even if to do so created
tremendous agony for him. “Come here.”

“Why?”

“Because I want
to hold you, that’s why. You’re shivering.”

“So are you.”

“I’m not
shivering. I’m outright cold, tired, and cranky. And you’re point is…?”

Charlotte set
her palm to his chest, directly over his heart, quickening the beat. “I do love
a man who can admit he’s cranky.”

Nolan stopped
chuckling. He leaned toward her face, sharing a gentle kiss. When she drew in
her breath, he probed deeper, finding the emptiness inside of her, the shadows
she wanted so desperately to hide from the human race. She had a tough life, a
rotten childhood. If he could make one moment better for her, he was willing to
give it a try. At this point, what else did he have to lose?

Hours later, they
fell asleep in each other’s arms, waking to the chorus of Howlers above their
heads—and a man holding a gun at their faces.