Coffee at Luke's: An Unauthorized Gilmore Girls Gabfest (Smart Pop Series) (7 page)

BOOK: Coffee at Luke's: An Unauthorized Gilmore Girls Gabfest (Smart Pop Series)

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Rory spends considerable time and energy trying to keep the peace, or mend fences, between the generations, and despite all apparent evidence to the contrary, she has more success than she realizes. It is obvious that the relationships would have irreparably broken down without her continuing efforts, many of which must have been difficult for her, considering most appear to be grounded in her very existence. Nowhere was this more clearly demonstrated than at a dinner attended by mother Lorelai, father Christopher, and both sets of grandparents, where Lorelai’s pregnancy at sixteen was touted as having ruined everybody’s lives. Afterwards, both Lorelai and Emily worked to reassure Rory that she was not a mistake.

EMILY: Rory, I know you heard a lot of talk about various disappointments this evening and I know you’ve heard a lot of talk about it in the past. But I want to make this very clear—you, young lady, your person and your existence have never ever been—not even for a second—included in that list. Do you understand me? (“Christopher Returns,” 1-15)

Rory repeatedly claims to know and believe that, but some part of her must surely question it—particularly when it is so often raised. However, it becomes obvious over time—surely even to Rory—that Lorelai’s problems with her parents date from well before Rory’s conception and possibly as far back as Lorelai’s. If anything, one wonders if it wasn’t Rory’s unexpected arrival that might have saved Lorelai by forcing her to be responsible and make a life for herself.

Of course, it should not be suggested that Rory is solely responsible for the good relationship she has with her grandparents, as it is apparent that they are more tolerant and make more of an effort with her than with Lorelai. While it is hardly unusual for grandparents to be more laid back with grandchildren, here it goes deeper and is much more complex. Though Emily in particular is perfectly willing to put Rory in her place or express dismay, not only is it rarely required, but neither Richard nor Emily approach Rory with suspicion or defensiveness, and aren’t always looking for an ulterior motive. Any perceived failings in Rory are immediately attributed to Lorelai: “I don’t understand how you could’ve been so irresponsible. It was your responsibility to stop this,” Emily told Lorelai after Rory and Jess’s car accident, appearing to miss the irony of the idea that a child’s failings are the fault of the parents (“Help Wanted,” 2- 20). But whether they do so consciously or not, Richard and Emily are providing, if not a haven, then at least an alternative home (and not simply a physical space) for Rory, in the house where Lorelai felt excluded all those years ago. To her it had been a prison—not even a gilded cage—where appropriate attire and behavior were continually enforced. Therefore, it came as quite a shock to Lorelai to find that her daughter considered her grandparents as people to whom she could turn for help or comfort when Lorelai was unavailable. In fact, after a terrible argument with Rory, Lorelai was more distraught to discover Rory had gone all the way to her grandparents in Hartford then she was about the argument itself.

RORY: I don’t know. I just snapped and I got sick of everything. I wanted to go anywhere.

LORELAI: So you picked hell?

RORY: It was the first place that came to mind. (“P.S. I Lo . . . ,” 1-20)

She was downright disbelieving when Rory went to live there after dropping out of Yale. What made this event so extraordinary to Lorelai was that it was poor judgment and questionable behavior on Rory’s part that led to the incident. Initially, Richard and Emily, as one would expect given their handling of Lorelai in her youth, agreed with Lorelai and promised to help—“Well, of course we’ll back you up! This is not happening!” Emily told her—but they had a dramatic change of heart shortly after a visit from their granddaughter: “Rory is young. And I’m sure, once she’s had some time and some space, she will change her mind. But for now, this is what she wants to do. And we need to respect that,” Richard told a disbelieving Lorelai, who quite rightly felt betrayed (“A House is Not a Home,” 5-22). That Rory has been arrested on a felony charge and then walked away from the education for which her grandparents had been paying did not prevent them from helping her—or supporting her decision. Certainly, Richard and Emily were far from happy and more than slightly disappointed, but they nevertheless stood by Rory in a manner in which they did not for Lorelai. In an astonishing reversal, Lorelai was the one who did not support Rory’s abandonment of her education and was left to point out the error in her parents’ judgment. Eventually Lorelai and Rory reconciled, and Rory, of course, returned to Yale, but the reversal of Lorelai and her parents’ roles provided an interesting twist, while the anger and lack of contact between the two leads altered the shows dynamic throughout much of the sixth season. It was during this period that the similarities between Lorelai and her parents were most clear—and the similarities between Lorelai and Rory were most striking. Rory, the “perfect daughter,” was not quite as perfect as Lorelai might have liked, and at first, Lorelai handled it little better than her mother had before her.

In fact, it was Rory’s almost disturbingly good “child” behavior that made her “adult” behavior in seasons five and six (her affair with the married Dean, her brush with the law, and dropping out of Yale) so surprising and, indeed, shocking. Though it hardly matched the drama on
Melrose Place
or
Desperate Housewives
, it certainly dragged the show out of the tween market and, perhaps damagingly, away from its whimsical roots, dampening the humor somewhat as its characters struggled with the consequences of their choices.

The departure of creative team Amy Sherman-Palladino and Daniel Palladino at the end of the sixth season left some viewers concerned about the future direction of the show (Stewart). But while their departure may have meant sacrificing some of the show’s signature pop culture-laden patter, it did not mean sacrificing its conceptual heart. Few shows have captured the good, the bad, and the downright ugly of family relationships with the poignancy and humor of
Gilmore Girls
. The key to the show is, as it has always been, its unorthodox—and through that, unexpectedly realistic—take on family dynamics; Richard, Emily, Lorelai, and Rory form one of the most interesting and intelligent families on television. And ultimately, they represent second chances (and third and fourth . . .); an opportunity to keep doing it again until you get it “right”—whatever that may be. Because, as Lorelai pointed out when told by Luke that she is a good mother, “Yeah, it’s just the daughter part I don’t have down yet” (“Forgiveness and Stuff,” 1-10).

Janine Hiddlestone
is a lecturer and tutor in politics, history, and communications at James Cook University in Australia. She has a Ph.D. in political history and has published on the place of war in culture and history, and how pop culture became the centerpiece of so much of the public’s understanding—and misunderstanding—of events.

She has explored the influence of technology on pop culture and vice versa, as well as its pedagogical uses in encouraging students to develop an interest in political and historical issues. She has also attained infamy among her colleagues as a pop culture tragic.

References

Haberman, Lia. “
Gilmore Girls
—Review.”
E! Online
. Oct. 2000. <
http://www.eonline.com/Features/Features/Tube2000/Shows/index2.html
>.

Stewart, Sara. “Girls Gone Mild: Dumbing Down the Sassiest Family on Television”
The New York Post
, 15 Oct. 2006. <
http://www.nypost.com/seven/10152006/entertainment/girls_gone_mild_entertainment_sara_stewart.htm
>.

Stephanie Lehmann

The Best-Friend Mom

Rory: Oh my God, I hate her.

Lorelai: Ah, me too.

Rory: You have no idea who I’m talking about.

Lorelai: Solidarity, sister. (“Nick & Nora/Sid & Nancy,” 2-5)

One of the biggest fantasies
Gilmore Girls
ever spun was that a mother and daughter could be best friends first, parent and child second, and it’s one Stephanie Lehmann pays tribute to at the start of her essay. But sooner or later, she points out, no matter how hard you try to put it off, it’s Mommy & Me time, even if you’re Lorelai and Rory Gilmore.

T
HE SYMBIOTIC RELATIONSHIP between young, hip mom Lorelai and her preternaturally mature teenage daughter Rory is one of the big reasons I love watching
Gilmore Girls
. In the mornings they breakfast together at Luke’s diner, where they gorge on huge meals like blueberry pancakes with bacon and eggs, sip oversized cups of coffee, and yak in fast-clipped language riddled with pop culture references. In the evenings there’s take-out food in front of the TV and more yakking. In between, there’s as little house-work as humanly possible. Week after week, it’s just the two of them enjoying the quirky charms of small-town life.

Perhaps I’m flattering myself, but I like to think my daughter and I share a similar bond. Okay, maybe I was well past high school when I gave birth to her, but I can still be marginally hip, right? I have a blog. I work out listening to an iPod. I allowed her to go on the pill at seventeen even though I would’ve preferred to lock her up in a chastity belt.

Perhaps the most fascinating aspect of the show has been the chance to see Rory grow from an innocent fourteen-year-old virgin to a sophisticated, sexually active twenty-one-year-old woman. And it’s always intriguing to see how Lorelai, the coolest of moms, handles the inevitable complications. Lorelai’s relationship with her own mother is fraught with conflict. Pregnant at sixteen, she left home and raised Rory on her own. Lorelai needed distance from her parents’ uptight, ostentatious lifestyle and their Mayflower-descended values. Rejecting all their Eastern Establishment power and money, she supported herself as a maid. Rory became the most important relationship in her life.

But the idyllic mother-daughter bubble pops—and the premise of the show is established—when Lorelai finds herself drawn back into the family fold. Rory wants to go to Chilton, a private high school that will help pave the way to the Ivy League. Lorelai can’t afford the tuition. She reluctantly turns to her parents for financial help. Emily begins to take full advantage of her financial power to get closer to Lorelai.

In one particularly revealing episode, Emily, in her typically manipulative way, offers Lorelai a trip to a spa. After Lorelai accepts, Emily invites herself along. Once there, Emily won’t leave Lorelai alone. She even arranges for them to have a “couples’ massage.” Lorelai pretty much wards off that overture by pointing out that couples massages are for “couples,” not “a couple of people,” and the couple usually has sex together afterwards. By the end of the day, Emily’s attempt to bond with Lorelai has failed miserably. Emily, on the verge of tears, asks in a rather heartbreaking, childlike way, “Why can’t we have what you and Rory have?” (“There’s the Rub,” 2-16). Lorelai answers that she and Rory are “best friends first and mother and daughter second.” Emily responds that she wasn’t taught to be best friends with her daughter; she was taught to be a “role model.” Being a role model means setting an example for someone else to follow. Considering that Lorelai tries as hard as she can to be different from her mother, we’d have to say Emily has botched that one.

But is it possible to be your daughter’s best friend? It’s easy to see the appeal. These days, boomer parents—in our quest to ward off old age—are very into the idea of being close to our kids. We don’t want to be stuffy disciplinarians full of rules and old-fashioned ideas; we want to be cool, understanding, and fun to hang out with. Plus, it’s hard to find best friends out there. So why not create a human being who can be your best buddy? She’s handy, she’s moldable, and more than anything in the world, you want what’s best for her and she wants what’s best for you. Right?

On the other hand, it sounds so Joan and Melissa Rivers. If the
Gilmore Girls
were to continue on for a few decades, I could see Lorelai desperately trying to stay young using every surgical procedure known to man. Rory would try to seem like the sane one without ever escaping her mother’s shadow. Maybe there is such a thing as
too
close.

But still. It’s a very seductive concept. Just turn on the opening credits and I get filled with that warm and fuzzy I-want-to-be-part-of-this picture feeling. I may be a city girl, but who needs Manhattan? Stars Hollow here I come. Heck, why did I ever get married? Give me a too-wise-for-her-years teenage daughter for company, an endless supply of donuts and videos, a diner with good coffee and a broad-shouldered hunk to pour it—I’d be happy.

And they are happy for the first few seasons. Sure, Lorelai has Friday night dinners with Richard and Emily to dread and their constant disapproval to live down. But Rory is always there as a buffer. Plus, Lorelai is doing just fine running the Independence Inn. The prodigal daughter has returned, and her past failures can be put behind her—especially since she has this daughter who is totally devoted to her and their somewhat wacky way of life.

BOOK: Coffee at Luke's: An Unauthorized Gilmore Girls Gabfest (Smart Pop Series)

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