Collecting Scars (13 page)

Patrick smirked at that, “Why are you embarrassed? Think your friends will find out what you're really like? Find out that you’re not the kind, caring person you make out to be?” he sneered.

“Outside now, Patrick,” Asha demanded raising her voice through clenched teeth. Pointing towards the front door, she spun on her heel and charged toward it hoping Patrick would follow her.

They stepped out into the frosty night air. The parking area was illuminated with bright overhead lights and nearby street-lamps. It was quiet however, no one else around save for a couple near the edge of the building who appeared to be sharing a cigarette and a joke.

“Now Patrick, I would much prefer to have this conversation with you sober, but as you insist on having it now, let's go.” Asha was trying to keep her voice calm, but her heart beat hard in her chest, she was angry at Patrick starting this argument whilst they were out with her friends.

“I just don't get you Asha,” Patrick ran both hands through his locks. “You have not been home for years. Mum misses you, she talks about you all the time.”

“Mum knows where I am,” she hissed.

“So why should she be the one to come looking for you? You're her daughter for fucks sake.”

“Yeah and she's my mother. Our mother Patrick. And when was the last time she acted like it?”

“You never gave her a chance,” Patrick cried pitifully.

Asha scoffed, “She had plenty of chances, she was just too busy off getting pissed, high or jumping into someone else's bed, to bother with being a mother.”

“She was grieving for dad.”

“Yeah, the poor grieving widow, do you know how long it took for her to find someone else, Patrick? Do you?”

Patrick was silent, looking down at the bitumen and shuffling his feet. She took a step closer, getting right in his face so there was no chance he could miss hear her.

“The night of his funeral Trick. Our mum brought a man home on the night of her precious husband’s funeral, our dad’s funeral Patrick. And you're going to stand here and tell me, poor mum was grieving?”

Asha was so furious, her blood was pumping in her ears, she was only vaguely aware of the club doors opening and patrons moving in and out. They were gathering an audience.

“Our mum was a big fat, lying, cheating, drunken slut,” she yelled, so furious with him, she had given up caring who saw or heard her.

Patrick lunged at her seizing her shoulders with both hands, his face distorted by the shadows of the night and his anger.

“Like mother, like daughter, hey Sis?”

Suddenly her shoulders were released and Patrick was hauled backwards away from her. With a sickening thud, she saw Xavier, taller than Patrick by several inches, thrust him against the wall of the building. She saw a look of shock, followed closely by realisation flood across Patrick's face just before she saw Xavier's fist connect with Patrick's jaw. A howl of pain emanated from Patrick's broken mouth as blood began to spurt from the split Xavier's punch had left on Patrick's lip. Followed by another sickening thud as Xavier's fist connected with her baby brother's stomach.

“Don't you ever, ever speak to my girl like that again, do you hear me you low-life piece of scum?” Xavier's voice was cold, hard, and calculating.

The tone of his voice made her blood run cold, she had never heard him sound like that. She rushed toward the men. Xavier had Patrick pinned against the wall, with his forearm against his chest, holdiing him in place.

Patrick had never been much of a fighter. In school, Asha had to stick up for her brother on many occasions when the school bully had bailed him up. It wasn't that he was not physically able, he had been blessed with a naturally muscular physique, but he was such a quiet, gentle soul. He was the kind of person who always saw the good in everyone. A bit of a rascal, often getting into mischief, but never any serious trouble.

Now Asha saw pain and confusion pass across her brother's face. It hurt her as much as it was hurting him. Yes, he had said nasty things to her, but she loved him all the same and it had been in the heat of the moment. She knew he had not meant to hurt her, which just was not his way.

“Let him go, Xavier,” she shouted with all she could, tears springing to her eyes. “Leave him alone.”

Xavier relaxed his arm hold on Patrick’s chest and looked to her. Asha was suddenly aware of the crowd that had begun to mill around them. Watching the show.

“Really Ash?” he raised his brows at her. “You expect me to just let him speak to you like that?”

“He's my brother Xave, you don't just get to go all Neanderthal on him.” Asha reached out and grabbed Patrick's arm, tugging him to herself in a protective manner.

“C'mon bud, let's get you home hey?” she soothed. Patrick didn't respond, he just stood dead still staring daggers at Xavier. The gathering of people parted as she tugged Patrick across the car park. Her arm wrapped protectively around her brother's waist.

“Ash...baby,” she heard Xavier call but did not look back.

As luck would have it a taxi pulled into the lot, just at that moment. She ushered Patrick in, before turning to see Xavier holding the car door.

“Not now Xave', I can't deal with you right now,” she shook her head.

“I couldn't stand by and let him talk to you like that Ash,” Xavier pleaded.

“Just save it Xave' I have to get Trick home and cleaned up.” She wrenched the door from his grip and slammed it closed behind her as she settled into the car for the trip home. Just like his father, settling things with his fists, she thought to herself. She could not cope with that. She knew she had been wrong getting involved with this man. Any man, she was better off alone. What had she been thinking?

***

“I'm sorry Sis, you know I didn't mean it,” Patrick begged, as Asha wiped at his wounds with some antiseptic-soaked gauze. All were superficial thankfully, she would not have been happy if she had to take him into the emergency department for stitches. That would have meant having to explain to her colleagues how she had gotten caught up in this situation.

“I know mate,” she consoled.

“I didn't know mum brought someone home the night of dad’s funeral.”

“It doesn't matter now, really does it?”

“I missed you so much when you left you know?” Patrick's voice was so broken, it made Asha's heart hurt. “I know she was never a good mum, but she did love us. She still loves us.”

“She always loved you Trick.”

“And you too Ash.”

“Just not as much,” Asha sighed.

“Alright,” she patted him gently on the side of his chest. “You're done, go have a shower, you can sleep in my bed tonight if you want.”

“No, I'm not taking your bed,” he argued.

He had been sleeping on her couch for weeks now.

“You're hurt Trick and it's my fault,” she fought back a sob, as the memory of Xavier's fists pounding into her brother came flooding back. “I'm so sorry Xavier did this to you.”

Patrick let out a bitter laugh, “I kinda deserved it, and I should never have spoken to you like that.”

“Yeah, I guess you kinda did,” Asha let a small laugh escape her lips. “But honestly kiddo, I never expected Xavier to behave like that.”

“I don't know, I think you should be kind of proud that you have found a man that would defend your honour like that. Dad would have liked him.”

“You think?” Asha really wished her dad was around to be able to have an opinion. Just having Patrick tell her, he thought their dad would have liked him, made her heart swell.

“Yeah, I think he's a keeper Ash, don't let him get away,” he winked, leant over and placed a kiss on her cheek. “Thanks for fixing me up Ashy-girl. I love you, good night”

“Night bud, see you in the daylight.”

Asha cleaned up the mess she had made, tipped the rubbish into the bin, squashing it down with her hands, as no one had emptied it for days. Washed her hands, grabbed a bottle of cold water from the fridge and headed for bed. Reaching out to put her phone on her nightstand she noticed two missed calls and three new messages from Xavier.

X-Baby I'm sorry

X-Asha? We need to talk about it.

X-Maybe tomorrow? Good night X

Asha switched her phone off. Then the light.

Chapter 18

ASHA LAY IN BED FOR hours, but sleep wouldn't come. The events of the night running over and over in her head. Ghosts of the past, coming back to haunt her. She had spent many years trying not to think about her mother and the events that had finally cleaved their already fragile relationship apart.

His name was James. He had been her mother's boyfriend, although everyone had thought it was ridiculous. James was far too young for her mother at twenty-eight, same age as Asha was now. Asha had been sixteen. Old enough to know it was wrong. But young enough and naive enough to believe James when he told her he loved her and not her mother.

James had been one of the few men her mother had let stay around any longer than one night. Asha and Patrick had both liked him from the start. Especially Asha as he had showered her with attention and constantly told her how beautiful she was. Offered her rides to school in his sports car. Patrick was particularly keen on the little red Mazda RX-7.

Asha was not one of the popular kids at school. More of a bookworm. Studying and reading had been a release for her. When she would get home from school, her mother was most often in a bad mood, or out with her latest 'friend'. Boys hadn't really paid her much attention, so when James had started flirting with her, at first she was not sure what to make of it.

Weeks went by and he was spending more and more time at their house, turning up when he knew her mum would be at work. He was handsome, tall, tanned skin, dark hair, dark eyes. He listened to all the same music she and Patrick did. Watched all the latest movies and played all the latest video games. Asha was really was not into gaming, but Patrick was, and he lapped up the extra testosterone James brought into the house.

It was a period of happiness for their little family after the gloomy days since she had lost her father. Even her mum had seemed to be happy. For a while at least.

What started out innocently on Asha's behalf, did not stay that way for long. She had come home early from school one day upset. A girl she had been friends with had turned on her and was now being nasty. Making jokes about her dad dying and her mum being the town bike.  Asha had confided in this friend about her concerns for her mum's behaviour, now this friend was spreading it all over the school grounds.

She had left before her last class, knowing her mum would not be home until five pm and if the school called, she would make up an excuse about her period coming early. Mum would believe that, if she even cared to ask.

What Asha had not counted on was finding James at her house when she arrived. She had just turned the key in the lock and pushed the door forward when he appeared from behind it. Asha jumped, feeling frightened at discovering the unexpected house guest.

James had explained he was staying at the house for the day, as his car was being serviced and her house was closer than his. Asha had no idea where James actually lived, it had never come up and right now she was too upset by her own problems to care.

She had meant to go to her room, but James had noticed she had been crying and had asked what had happened. Before long Asha found herself pouring her heart out to him, telling him how much she had missed her mum, since the death of her dad. How even though they shared a house together her mum had been so distant. Then she told him about her day at school. More tears were shed, he had wrapped his arms around her, comforting her and before she knew, he was kissing her.

It was Asha's first kiss, it had felt good. It had felt wrong at first, but she didn't pull away. After that day, she would sneak home early whenever she had to chance and James would wait for her there, or he would pick her up from school and they would go for a drive together. She enjoyed spending time with him. He was kind to her, would listen when she complained about school, her friends, her mother, Patrick. When they were together it felt right to her, like it was meant to be. She hated that James would take her home in the evening and go to bed with her mother, pretending all the while like she was nothing more than his girlfriend's daughter.

James told her he loved her. He promised her he would find a way to tell her mother one day soon, he would break it to her gently and she would be understanding, but he had to buy his time so that it didn't end in disaster.

Of course, in hindsight, Asha knew how stupid she was to have believed even a word of his lies. However as a sixteen-year-old girl, desperate for love and apparently getting it from a much older, very good looking man, she believed all of his lies.

Their affair lasted for four weeks, during which time, she gave her virginity to James. She had told her mum she was going out to an evening movie with school friends and James had offered to pick her up and bring her home. In reality, she had planned to meet James around the corner from her house, where he picked her up and drove her to the local bowling alley. She'd had sex for the first time on the front seat of his sports car, in the car park at the back of a bowling alley. He had not been gentle, it had hurt a lot. He had seemed satisfied however and Asha, so desperate to please him had just gone along with him, pretending to have liked it. Everyone else seemed to like sex, she figured it must get better.

Back at home that night she could hear James having sex with her mother in the next room. She often heard her mum, she seemed to like everyone in the house to be able to hear what a good time she was having. Asha cried herself to sleep.

Several days later, her mum had announced she was going for a girl’s night out. Asha knew this was usually code for going out to find herself a new boy toy. She had felt some triumph at that. Thinking her mother's interest in James must be waning and soon she and James could be together at last.