Colters' Gift (9 page)

“You make it sound so easy,” Lauren said. “I just keep thinking of everything that can go wrong. What if one of them gets jealous? What if I don’t spend exactly the same amount of time with both of them?” Her face went beet red with heat. “What if I have sex more with one than the other? It all makes my head hurt.”

Holly walked around the bar and slid onto the stool next to Lauren.

“You’re taking far too much on your shoulders, baby. Listen to me. You can only control what you do. You can’t be responsible for how they react or what they do. In a lot of ways, the relationship is much harder on the men than it is the woman, and in some aspects it’s more difficult for the woman.”

“You’re confusing me,” Lauren said in amusement.

“The men have to form a bond. I know it sounds silly. In my case, the men were brothers. Trust was already there. Trust is very important between the men so they’re working on the same page. When you have a case like with Noah and Liam, that friendship and trust has to be there so that jealousy doesn’t become an issue or they’re not always wondering if the other is trying to get you to agree to kick one out of the relationship.”

“That makes sense,” Lauren agreed.

“And the way it’s more difficult for a woman, is that she has multiple personalities to learn and work around. The men are working with one woman. She’s their focus. But the woman’s focus is split between two, or in my case, three men. She has to know what makes each of them tick. And sometimes it’s a delicate balance juggling those different personalities because each man has his own set of desires, and what he wants from the relationship. One might need one thing from you while the other needs something entirely different. It can be exhausting, especially in the beginning when you’re learning.”

Lauren nodded again. “I knew I could count on you to make perfect sense, Mama C. But you know, it’s kind of exciting when everything is all shiny and new and when the mere thought of a relationship makes you breathless. They give me . . . hope. I’m almost afraid to believe, because I don’t know what I’ll do if it doesn’t work out.”

Holly cupped Lauren’s face in her hands. “Just take it one day at a time, baby. It’s all you can do. But let me tell you. Those two men are the luckiest guys on earth to have you and they don’t need to forget it. You are a beautiful, intelligent, loving young woman and one I’m very proud to call my daughter. And you are, you know. You may not bear the Colter last name, but that’s the only thing that sets you apart from one of my own.”

“Hey, Mom!”

Lauren whirled around to see Callie burst into the kitchen, a sunny smile on her face.

Holly’s expression softened, and she hopped off the stool to go hug her youngest child. Except that according to Holly, Lauren was one of her brood, which actually made Lauren the youngest.

It did heart-stopping things to Lauren to fully comprehend that she had a place in this wonderful family. God, it made her want to tear all up, and if that wasn’t just stupid after so many months, she didn’t know what it was.

As Callie was hugging her mom, Lily Colter walked in behind them. Seven months pregnant, Lily still moved gracefully despite the bulge on her small frame. She was a petite woman with delicate features.

As Lauren glanced around at the women gathered in the Colter kitchen, she realized that this was a room full of women who’d survived unimaginable tragedies, dangerous situations and heartbreak. It was one thing they all had in common.

Lily had been married before she’d met Holly’s sons, and she’d suffered a terrible loss when her newborn baby had died of sudden infant death syndrome. Her husband had blamed her and divorced Lily. Devastated and grief stricken, Lily had walked away, living on the streets, homeless, until Seth, who’d then worked as a police office in Denver, had spotted her at a soup kitchen where he volunteered.

He’d taken her home and when his brothers had met her, they’d had the same instant recognition that Seth himself had felt. They all knew that she was the one.

Lauren firmly believed that Max had also known instantly that Callie was the one, but he’d been a lot more hardheaded than the Colter men, and the result had been nearly losing Callie forever.

It had never really occurred to Lauren how drastically her own life would have changed if Max and Callie hadn’t been able to work things out. Lauren would have never come to know the Colters. Never would have been a part of the family she now considered her own.

After Holly hugged and fussed over Lily, Lily broke away and came to give Lauren a quick hug. Concern darkened her blue eyes as she struggled to get onto the bar stool next to Lauren.

“Seth told me a little of what happened. Are you okay?” Lily asked anxiously.

Lauren smiled and nodded. “I’m fine. Noah and Liam won’t let anything happen to me.”

Lily’s eyes lightened but then gleamed, and she pursed her lips. “And speaking of Noah and Liam, you’ve got to give me the dirt on those two gorgeous hunks. God, they remind me of Dillon. Well him and Michael both. It’s like taking Dillon and Michael and producing their offspring.”

“Oh God, Lily. Really? I so don’t need that image branded into my brain,” Callie said with a groan as she took the stool on the other side of Lauren.

“All that long dark hair and tattoos on Liam?” Lily said. “That man is gorgeous and so dangerous looking.”

Lauren grinned and preened under the praise from the other woman. And she could even see how Lily made the comparison. Dillon Colter was the wild child. The one that seemingly broke the mold in the Colter family. He looked like a total badass but he had a heart of gold. He sported tattoos and an earring, but his hair was cut short and spiked on top. Michael was certainly more conservative, but his one rebellion seemed to be his hair, which he wore shoulder length. Liam seemed a good combination of both men.

“And Noah isn’t bad to look at either,” Callie broke in. “I’d certainly lick those arms of his. They’re huge! You can’t tell me those two don’t lift weights to have biceps that big. His tats are cool too. Definitely more subtle than Liam’s, but it just works for him. He has that quiet badass look to him.”

Holly chuckled as she walked back to the fridge. She pulled out the bag of lettuce, two tomatoes, a cucumber and a packet of shredded carrots.

“Better not let Max hear you talking about licking another man’s anything, Callie.”

Callie made a face. “It’s not like I really would. But it’s certainly tempting.”

“So what’s the story on those two?” Lily asked. “Am I the only one in the dark here? Seth said very little. Just that they were here to protect you. He nearly gave me a heart attack and then he had to spend the next half hour assuring me that someone wasn’t trying to kill you or something.”

Lauren put her hand over Lily’s. “I’m sorry he worried you. It’s really nothing. I’m more than a little embarrassed over it all. I kept important information from Max and from Noah and Liam. Max hired them months ago. Before I came here at Christmas. It was when I got the nerve to leave . . . Joel . . . and finally called Max for help. But I didn’t tell them the truth about who I was involved in.”

Callie wrinkled her nose. “Why?”

Lauren sighed. “I know it sounds stupid.”

“No, no,” Lily rushed to say. “We don’t think you’re stupid at all, Lauren. I’m so proud of you for having the guts to walk away from that jerk. But why would you protect him?”

Lauren shook her head emphatically. “I was never protecting him. I was trying to protect Max. And Noah and Liam. I knew if Max knew the truth, he’d go after Joel. He was furious at the time. And Joel was—is—involved in illegal activities. I doubt I even know the extent of it. He has many people on his payroll, including cops. If Max or Noah and Liam were to threaten him in any way, who’s to say he wouldn’t have them killed? It sounds dramatic and over the top, but you have to understand the kind of man Joel is. I honestly just wanted as far away from him as possible and I want to forget he exists.”

Callie wrapped her arm protectively around Lauren and squeezed fiercely. “Of course you do and I don’t blame you a bit. Besides, who wouldn’t want to be protected by two hunks like Noah and Liam?” she added cheekily.

Lily laughed and Lauren relaxed. She was surrounded by dear friends. Family. Women she cared deeply about and who loved her in return. This was what she loved most about being with the Colters. The freedom to be herself. To confide, discuss, laugh and joke.

No one told her how to act. Hugs were given as freely as breathing. Someone was always touching, showing affection. No one blinked an eye over it.

The ache inside her grew until she rubbed her chest to alleviate the discomfort.

How wonderful would it be if she and Noah and Liam could live right here in these mountains, surrounded by the family who’d made Lauren one of their own?

CHAPTER 11

O
N
the drive home, Lauren stared out the window as dusk settled over the mountains. She’d enjoyed herself. She always did. Any time she was feeling down, she could count on a visit with the Colters to pick her up.

They made her believe that things would get better. They always did.

But one thought that had passed through her mind, sitting in Holly’s kitchen, haunted her.

She’d wished for a happily ever after with Noah and Liam, right here in these mountains, surrounded by her family and the people she loved.

How realistic was that?

The stark truth was that it wasn’t at all realistic. Noah’s and Liam’s lives were in New York. Their business was in New York. And when they had ascertained that there was no longer a threat to her, whether they remained in a relationship with her or not, they’d move on to another job, guarding other people. Providing personal security. In New York City.

The mere thought of being in the same city as Joel Knight, no matter how huge the city was or how unlikely it was that they’d ever cross paths, sent her into complete panic.

What if he knew, even now, what she’d done? She hadn’t been that careful. She didn’t know enough about computers to know if what she’d done could be discovered. He might have known that she’d been through his files the moment she disappeared.

As much as she’d tried not to focus on him, as much as she’d tried to shove him from her mind and move on with her life, how did she know that he wasn’t looking for her?

She’d made a big deal to the other women that she’d wanted to protect Max and Noah and Liam, and that was true, but she also feared coming into contact with him again in case he knew what she’d stolen.

It was laughable that she’d even done such a stupid thing. Especially when she had no plans to do anything with the information she’d copied from his computer. At the time, in her fragile mind, it had been an insurance policy. So that if he did ever come after her, she could threaten him.

Which made her the biggest idiot in the world. Threaten a man like Joel Knight? He could squash her like a bug and never blink an eye. She was nobody. Certainly not someone strong enough to stand up to him and back him into a corner.

She’d vowed to herself that she’d stop beating herself up over her past mistakes, but it was hard sometimes when she thought back on just how brainwashed she’d been; and then when she’d finally been gutsy enough to get out, she’d all but ensured that if he discovered what she’d taken, he’d never simply let her go and forget about her.

It was something she needed to confide in Noah and Liam. She knew she needed to tell them, but the words simply wouldn’t come. Maybe they were right in that she didn’t fully trust them yet. Maybe in time she’d feel at ease with confessing her stupidity. She just knew that right now wasn’t the time. She had to be more sure of them—of her and them.

“You’re quiet, baby,” Liam said from the backseat.

She started, suddenly aware of just how zoned out she’d been, immersed deeply in her thoughts and recriminations.

Noah reached over from the driver’s seat to take her hand, and he laced their fingers together.

“Everything okay?” Noah asked. “Did you enjoy your visit?”

Lauren smiled. No question there. “I love the Colters. Being with them always makes me happy.”

“I’ll admit, I wasn’t sure what to expect,” Liam said. “It sounds pretty incredible when someone explains the kind of relationship the Colter men have with their wives. But then when you see them together, you don’t even question it. It’s so obvious they belong together and that it works for them.”

He broke off for a long moment, and then he leaned forward, resting his elbows on the edges of Lauren’s and Noah’s seats.

“I want that for us, Lauren. That sense of rightness. The closeness. I want for people to look at us and say the same things we say about the Colters.”

Lauren turned as much in her seat as the seat belt allowed. Noah was focused on the road, but it was apparent that he was tuned in completely to the conversation.

She sighed, allowing her earlier unhappiness to escape. It was impossible to keep her mouth from turning down.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Liam asked, concern in his voice. “Are you having second thoughts? Did someone say anything to you today to change your mind?”

She slowly shook her head. “No. Holly was extremely supportive. I didn’t talk to Callie or Lily about you. Not for any other reason than this is still new and I’m not one to air my private life to everyone.”

“Then what’s made you unhappy?” Noah asked. “You’ve been in another world ever since we left, and it’s obvious you have something on your mind you’re not telling us about.”

She glanced nervously between them, not because she feared a physical response. She feared the confirmation of her realization and the bursting of her created fantasy. The intrusion of reality was not always welcome. The problem was, she’d lived outside the realm of reality for too long.

Denial didn’t change the outcome of anything.

“I was sitting at the bar with the other women, and we were all talking and I was reminded, as I always am, how much I love the Colters. And then I was struck by the thought of how wonderful it would be to live here . . . with you . . . to be with both of you and be so close to my family.”

She sucked in another breath while Liam and Noah both waited expectantly for her to continue.

“And as we drove away, I realized how impossible that is. Your lives are in New York. I realize you have feelings for me that go above and beyond me being a job to you, but once whatever threat is determined and eliminated, you’ll go on to another job. In New York. And whatever relationship we attempt would also have to be in New York. I realized how afraid I still am to be in the same city, no matter how vast, that Joel’s in. This has become home to me, and I hate the thought of having to leave it.”

There, she’d said it. She held her breath, not wanting to hear what they would say. She hated having reality intrude when things were new and exciting and hope had sprung.

“I don’t know that we’ve even given that a thought,” Noah said honestly.

“It’s certainly something we would need to discuss and work out between us,” Liam said in a careful tone. “My primary focus was you. And somehow getting you to accept what we proposed. Beyond that hurdle, I’ve given little thought to anything else, except to realize that we have to take it as it comes, one day at a time.”

She nodded her understanding, but the issue was still there, like a giant roadblock, and it was one she didn’t see a way around.

She couldn’t expect them to sacrifice everything they’d worked to achieve for her. What did she have to offer them here anyway? She was a waitress. In a diner. She made barely enough to pay her rent and get by on. And there wasn’t a high demand for personal protection in Clyde.

For that matter what could she offer them in New York? She’d quit her job at Joel’s demand. He’d wanted her available to him at all times and he wanted nothing to interfere in his schedule.

Stupidly—God, she used that word a lot to describe her actions—she’d thought it romantic that he’d wanted her to quit so he could take care of her. She’d been too naïve to realize it was the first step in putting her squarely under his complete control.

A year without work didn’t do wonders for the resume. When asked by employers to explain the gap in employment, what could she say? Oh, I was a naïve twit who quit my job to allow a man to take over my life, but hey, I’ve got my crap together now so you should feel absolutely comfortable in giving me a job.

Yeah. Not happening.

Her degree was useless in Clyde. There was about as much need for someone with marketing experience as there was for personal protection.

“Lauren?” Liam called softly.

She turned in the direction of his voice and met the vivid blue of his gaze.

“We’ll work it out, okay?”

She nodded again, not trusting herself to speak.

Noah pulled her hand onto his lap, almost as if he were sending her the message that he wasn’t letting go and he wasn’t giving up.

Maybe she was being too fatalistic. It wasn’t as if their only two choices were Clyde or New York. While she’d grown very attached to where she lived and to the Colters, there was nothing to say that she couldn’t be happy somewhere else.

She hadn’t planned to live here forever before, had she?

Or maybe that’s precisely what she’d planned. To spend the rest of her life hiding, never really living. Just existing.

Noah and Liam were giving her the opportunity to live a full, rich life filled with love. They wanted to make her happy, had sworn to do everything in their power to make her happy.

Maybe they could even live out of the city and they could commute. She doubted they’d ever travel in the same circles that Joel did. They’d probably never encounter him in their lifetime.

You have the power to put him away.

The insidious whisper stole through her mind.

With the information she’d copied from Joel’s computer, she had the power to make Joel a nonissue for a very long time. But in order to do that, she had to have courage she didn’t currently possess.

And more importantly, she’d have to be willing to face Joel Knight again.