Comin' Home to You (35 page)

“Choices, huh? All things boil down to choices, don’t it? And you think yours are any better?”

Scar stared a hole through his mother. Here she was, criticizing his life decisions. It wasn’t the first time. His father never got a say since he was already dead at that juncture. So his mother was the only parental guidance he had from early adulthood onward. He made the choice to join the Roaring 20’s, getting in mainly because his brother had made such a positive influence in the organization. Working his way up as an overseer of drug manufacturing and arms running had made him wealthy. But he was always careful not to spend too much to draw attention to himself. He had slipped up in his early days and purchased way more than he needed, but he couldn’t fault in it. He was young with a lot of money. After a while, the higher ups of the Roaring 20’s had instructed him directly to be immensely cautious with his spending since he wasn’t laundering money into any businesses, which he did. When Austin came around, he found a new reason to save. Because he no longer decided to indulge himself, Austin would be set for most of his life.

But she was right, and he knew it. He never wanted to do this.

Yet, he still climbed the ladder in the Roaring 20’s, due to his competitive spirit and the constant desire to be the absolute best. As a young boy growing up in Adrienne, he wanted to be the best hunter and fisher among his friends. He bagged a ten point buck at the age of eight and won a local bass fishing contest at nine. In high school, he wanted to be the best at football. Of course, as large and athletic as he was, it was a walk in the park. He was one of the leaders in the state in sacks and was given a scholarship to play for Texas A&M. When he got to college, his work was cut out for him. Every Aggie football player there was as good as he was. But it gave him an edge to work harder. As a freshman, he was already getting significant playing time.

Then Roy disappeared. As soon as got the news, he took their bye week to return home and search. He held out hope, but as the weekend ended and no signs of his brother emerged, depression started to set in. In his sadness, he started drinking every day and even showed up to practice smelling of booze and picking fights with his fellow players. That got him kicked off the team, ruining a promising career. With nothing else left, he believed he had to pick up where his brother left off, like selling drugs was some sort of legacy he had to continue.

Thoughts of football got him thinking. “Hey Ma?”

“Yes, my son?”

“What do you think Roy would say if he saw me now?”

Luella looked down at the wooden boards of the porch before contemplating an answer. “He’d be proud in his own way, but mostly disappointed. When Roy learned you got that scholarship to play football for Texas A&M…well, heavens. I just can’t forget that smile on his face and how proud of you he was. But to see you squander that opportunity, well…he was really proud of you.”

Scar felt his throat clench and his jaw stiffen. He always remembered Roy pushing and encouraging him to work his ass off, but those feelings were something he shoved down far into his subconscious. A lot of the time, his brother was just being a self-indulging bully, but even then, Scar could hear Roy’s hidden heartfelt pleas to not go down the same road he was currently traveling. It wasn’t as if the Graysons had no other aspirations other than crime. Besides Scar’s younger sister, a few Graysons led relatively successful lives. An aunt of his was a nurse in Tyler, and his great uncle had a career as a fishing guide for a few of the local lakes.

But Roy had no future from the day he was born. He was dumb, disruptive, and had contempt for authority. School wasn’t an easy experience for him. He had to cheat constantly to be eligible to play sports, though there were still weeks he would be unable to play because of his grades. College was definitely not going to happen, so Roy had to think of other ways to make money. With his father’s old connections, he turned to the drug trade.

Scar quickly turned his reminiscing thoughts into happier ones. “Hell, I miss him. Even after all this time, I still remember him putting me in sleeper holds outside just for the hell of it. Or when he would show off how far he could hit a baseball. He taught me how to tackle. Hit ‘em low and wrap up them legs, he’d say. Oh damn, you remember when he would tell everyone to shut up at the dinner table, then when everyone was quiet, he would rip the nastiest fart you ever heard?”

Luella laughed with a young vigor. “Oh my Lord, that boy was crude. I was hoarse in the throat yelling at him. Your father, God rest his soul, actually had the nerve to laugh. I think I had to lash into him too. Oh, Roy, Roy, Roy. That boy had a temper, but I like to think of him as my big old teddy bear of a boy. You raise him as a baby and you remember how sweet he was as a kid, it’s hard not to think of him as anything but a teddy bear. But I miss him too. It’s good to finally get that closure. It’s been so long.”

“I still don’t see how you can even look at Owen, knowing what he did.”

“Part of me is angry. Yes, very angry. But I understand why he did it.”

“I don’t. Not one fucking bit.”

“Watch your language, boy.”

It had been years since someone gave him a snappy order like that. But he complied. It was his mother, after all.

“Let me tell you something, Scar. I find the best way to understand someone is to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. I think about their situations and try to understand why they do what they do. It’s better like that, to understand, instead of blindly judging.”

“I look at the end results, Ma. Putting yourself in other people’s shoes makes you be all empathetic. The end results are what live with us. He killed Roy, Ma. That’s the bottom line.”

“He did, but let me tell you something. At the residence, I see all kinds of people. A lot of them are old and probably not long for this world. Some of them know it, others continue to fight. Some of them are like me. Some are there because they may be widowed or their children just don’t want to deal with them. I see nurses there who are helpful and want to hear all about your life stories. Other nurses couldn’t care less about how you got married or how many children and grandchildren that you have. Some of the people there are extremely fascinating.”

Scar wasn’t really prepared for a long-winded story from his mother, but he gave her his complete attention. He wished he would have grabbed a beer out of the ice chest for something to sip on, but he was sure his mother would disapprove of him getting up during her story.

“There’s been a kind man that I have been talking to frequently. His name is Gene. He’s older than me, probably in his late 70’s. Has to walk with a cane. His knees have withered away, kinda like mine probably are. He’s been living with Alzheimer’s. Still in his early stages. Some days he’ll forget who I am. Sometimes he’ll forget where he is. But, something he has done a lot is ask for someone by the name of Darla. He’ll ask the nurses, where is Darla? Where is she? Where am I? It’s sad, heartbreaking even. But he keeps moving on. That’s the kind of thing I respect.

“Well, recently, a new woman moved in into the room across from me. You can tell she was probably attractive back in her day. But I saw it the first day I got a good look at her. She has the saddest blue eyes I have ever seen. Some nurses have told me that she has been battling cancer through most of her late years. But each time the cancer goes in remission, it keeps coming back, so she decided to just give up and live out her last days in a comfortable setting. Owen’s mother never gave up, but that’s a different story. But when I talked to her, she didn’t even seem upset about losing to the cancer. I wondered why. I was about to say bye to her and go about my business, then I realized I hadn’t even asked her name. And she told me…Darla.”

“Same Darla?” monotonously asked Scar. 

Luella gave a Grayson smirk right at her son. “I found Gene and brought him to her. When they laid eyes on each other, Darla’s face melted like chocolate on a hot summer day, I tell you. And Gene’s face grew beet red. Boy, was he angry. But his face became sadder and sadder until suddenly, they both were crying. People started coming around and nurses too, trying to see what was going on. Heck, they thought someone died or something.”

“So what’s the moral of this story, Ma?”

“You impatient man. This whole world is becoming more and more impatient. Alright, since you can’t wait a few minutes for me to set up a story. It turns out that Darla left him 30 years ago for some young hot shot entrepreneur. But that same young hot shot left her soon after for another woman her age that had a lot more money. Apparently he had a liking to older women. So she tried coming back to Gene, but he wouldn’t take her back. He couldn’t forgive her for what she did to him. And here they are, 30 years later. Both of them old and weathered. She tells him that she made the worst decision of her life leaving him. With tears in her eyes, she told him that if she could turn back time, she wouldn’t make the same decision. She said she was so stupid and she begged and pleaded to him for forgiveness.”

Scar didn’t move except to blink. His mother could spin a story well.

“Gene takes a little bit to think of what to say. He tells her back that he couldn’t believe that she would do that to him. They were married 20 years. 20 years and she just up and leaves him. He said it ticked him off so much. But he finally says that he can’t spend any more time hating her, because he still needed her. So, they slowly walk toward each other, him wobbling on his cane and her slowly trotting to him. Then, they embraced, kissing like they were about the time they were married, I reckon. It was quite touching, if I may say.”

Scar raised an eyebrow and leaned back in his chair. “So I should take back the women who cheated on me?”

“Oh, God. No, no. Not what I am saying at all. What I am trying to get at is life is too short for hatred. After 30 years, Gene forgave Darla. She broke his heart, but he still found it in his heart to forgive him.”

“Fuck that!” boomed Scar, rising from his seat and figuring out what his mother was getting at. “That’s fucking stupid. I ain’t fucking forgiving him.”

“Son, you listen to me right now. I ain’t saying that you have to forgive Owen. I can’t really forgive him either. But like I said, I understand that he did what he had to do. This stupid feud between our families has got to end. Especially when we got Austin. He’s equal parts Grayson and Tomkins! It’s on both families to end this, for him and for us. You know, your father and Owen’s father were going to be the two to squash this feud.”

“Yeah, until Owen’s father ratted Dad out.”

Luella was befuddled. “Where did you hear that?”

“That’s what Roy always told me. That’s what my Uncle Joe said too.”

“Oh Lord. No, that’s not what happened. When the police were arriving to the convenience store that they were stupidly going to rob, your father told Owen’s dad to run and get the h-e double hockey sticks out of there. See, he had just found out Charlene, Owen’s mother, was pregnant with Owen, and didn’t want him to get in trouble. So your father took the heat for it and got arrested. Of course, the Lord being how he is, I learned I was pregnant with Roy just a few days later.”

Scar’s eyebrows raised and he grinded his teeth. “What are you saying?”

“Neither one of them betrayed each other. They were still friends. Owen’s daddy even visited yours in jail. The real bad stuff, the stuff that really screwed things up, happened on your father’s court date. That wretched Judge Wittles sentenced him to a year just because of his last name. He hated your grandfather so much that…ah, that’s another story. He just had a vendetta against Graysons. A bunch of your relatives, like your Uncle Max and Uncle Joe, instantly blamed Owen and any other Tomkins that ever existed. That’s when whatever his name is, Samuel or Shawn…your father’s second cousin. Eh, I forgot his name. He shot that special Tomkins boy. All of this because our family wanted to blame someone, and who better to blame than the Tomkins?”

“So we’re feuding currently over a misunderstanding.”

“The two families have never gotten along, as far as I know. But peace really could have existed. Privately, your father regretted how everything turned out. But it can still exist now. For Austin’s sake, at least. And yes, I know. He killed Roy. I get that. But your brother was pushy as heck. And don’t you even act like you don’t know what I am talking about. I remember all the times he ticked you off and you went after him. You got your rear kicked a lot, but you know how it feels to get mad.”

“Yeah, I remember. But just because I can relate, it don’t mean I will forgive that prick. Hell, Owen could have even said yes to Roy. Could have made some money and provided for Ali like I provided for Austin.”

“He stuck by his morals. He didn’t want to do that stuff anymore. Dammit, I don’t want you to do that stuff anymore!”

Scar, frustrated and astounded by his mother’s curse word, brushed his hair back over his head. “What the hell else am I supposed to do, Ma? It’s a little fucking late to go back to college and make a fucking career. I am 33 god damn years old!”

“I don’t know what you need to do. But Ben’s right. You’re eventually going to get busted. It’s probably a sin that I honestly pray that you keep doing well in your work so you never get in trouble with the law, but I do it because I am worried sick about you. No one in your line of work has ever made it their whole lives blemish free. You think when you do decide to quit, the IRS isn’t going to notice how you haven’t had a tax-paying job in 15 years? And if or when you do get caught, what’s Austin going to do with you in prison? Have you taken a look at Owen? He looks terrible. I don’t know what’s wrong with him, but it looks like a gust of wind could knock him down. And Ali looks a lot more capable than she did just a few days ago, but that little brother of yours is trouble, and will probably cause some trouble for her too. You may not know it, but you and Owen are on the same team here.”