Coming Home (Homeward Bound Series Book 1) (21 page)

Chapter 36

SPENCER

Waking up with a warm, soft woman tucked against my body made waking up early on a Saturday morning just easier to deal with. Okay, it made some things harder, but in general everything was just better. Zoe snored softly and she had the most adorable wrinkles on her forehead that I wanted to reach over and kiss. I didn’t want to wake her. I couldn’t. She was just too damn adorable. As soon as the thought crossed my mind I knew I should be cashing in my man card. Girls were fuckable, not adorable.

Wriggling my arm out from under her, I slipped from the bed and made my way into the bathroom. A cold shower was needed. Desperately.

Almost two hours and a couple of coffees later, Zoe shuffled out into the lounge room. Her hair was the most intriguing mess I’d ever seen. It was curly and sticking out in every direction while her eyes were barely slits as she rubbed at them roughly.

“Morning, sunshine,” I called out.

“Ugh. Hi,” she moaned as she slid into the seat beside me.

“Want coffee?”

“No.
Need.
Need coffee,” she exaggerated dramatically.

I filled her mug and slid it across the bench into her outstretched fingers. Clasping the mug like it was her lifeline, I watched as Zoe sipped the steaming liquid. With each mouthful, her eyes seemed to open just a fraction wider.

After a while, I couldn’t help but taunt her. It was one of my favourite past times and one I didn’t realise I’d missed as much as I did over the years until that moment. “Better?”

“Much,” Zoe replied, looking up at me from under those long, dark lashes.

I knew I was in trouble. Hell, I’d known it from the moment I’d first seen her weeks ago, but now I knew I was completely fucked. There was no turning away from her. Not now. Not ever. Just looking at those perfect, pouty lips, I knew they’d be my ultimate undoing.

“So, what’s the plan for today?” she asked with a wide, friendly smile.

“You mean this afternoon, sleepy head?” I couldn’t resist.

“Hey! It’s not afternoon. Yet,” she pouted.

“Close enough. By the time you shower and do whatever else it is you women do to get ready, it will be.”

“And you wouldn’t have ‘us women’ any other way.”

I wanted to argue. I really did. I couldn’t. The girl was right. I wouldn’t change a thing about her. “Fine.”

“Fine?”

“Yeah, fine. Happy now?”

“Ecstatic!”

Shaking my head, I couldn’t believe how easy, how natural this felt. I’d thought it would be odd having Zoe here like this, but it just felt right. Awesomely right. “Well, we have the B & F tonight, so before that why don’t we just get out of here for a while? Maybe go for a drive?”

“Sounds perfect,” she conceded without argument and part of me wondered if my Zoe was still in there. She’d never agreed with me without argument before. It was more than a little rattling.

Not wanting to ruin such an easy victory, I said, “Go have your shower then. We’ll leave here in half an hour. Will that give you enough time, Princess?”

“Plenty!” she retorted, poking her tongue out as she leapt from the chair. I couldn’t help it. It was like my hand had a mind of its own as I reached out and swatted her butt playfully. “Ow!” she squealed and I laughed. Hard.

“You’ll regret that, Spencer Robert McLaren.”

“Promises, promises.”

I should have been worried about her threats, but I couldn’t. I was filled with intrigue as my overactive and downright dirty imagination ran away with me.

When I heard the shower wheeze to life, it was only a moment before Zoe’s high pitched singing start up. I stepped outside, needing the cool fresh air to calm me down. “Fuck me! She’s going to kill me,” I grumbled to myself.

For the next forty-five minutes I puttered about the backyard aimlessly. I weeded pot plants, watered the garden, and swept the path. Anything to keep my hands busy and my thoughts from wandering into dangerous territory.

“You ready, cowboy?” Zoe’s musical voice called.

Dropping the weeds onto the grass, I wiped my dirty hands across the butt of my jeans before spinning around. Spotting Zoe standing at the back door, my heart stopped. Not just missed a beat of two. No, it came to a screeching halt. I opened my mouth to speak but words failed me. She’d quite literally taken the words right out of my mouth.

Standing with her hands on her hips, she was every guy’s wet dream personified. Or at the very least, she was mine. She wore skinny jeans that hugged every curve, sending all the blood in my body on a way one trip south. She’d obviously been digging through my wardrobe again, but once again I wasn’t upset. She’d found a shirt I didn’t even remember owning and pulled it on over a white tank top, knotting it at the back so it pulled tight across her chest. Her long hair fell in a messy braid over her shoulder and her lips―those delicious kissable lips―glistened, making my mouth water. It was the cowboy boots that did me in. She was the entire package. She was everything I could ever imagine wanting. And I had imagined it. Over and over and over again.

“Yeah,” I spluttered, my throat feeling like sand paper. “Meet me out the front?”

“Okay,” she agreed but the look she shot me was wary. It was like she knew something was going on, but she wasn’t quite sure. I wasn’t about to put her out of her misery either and tell her I needed a minute or maybe five to get my raging hormones under control.

I watched as Zoe spun on her heel and stalked away. The way her ass sashayed through the door, I was positive she knew exactly what she was doing. She was trying to kill me. Slowly. It took longer than was acceptable and more than a few deep breaths before I made my way to the truck.

As I turned the key, Zoe looked over with wide eyes and smiled. “So, where we headed?”

She was being a bitch. There was a sweetness in her voice that I hadn’t heard in such a long time that instantly I knew what she was playing at. She was trying to wrap me around her little finger. Well, the joke was on her. I was already her bitch. Just because it may have been the truth, it didn’t mean I had to tell her that.

“Not sure. Any suggestions?” I didn’t recognise my own voice. It had dropped a couple of octaves and I couldn’t help but grin, feeling like a clumsy, horny teenage boy again.

“Actually, there’s one place I wouldn’t mind seeing again.” She winked.

I didn’t have to ask where. I knew.

Chapter 37

ZOE

I was making Spencer’s life hard. And not just his life. I couldn’t help but enjoy the power trip. There was something about just being with Spencer that made everything so simple. When he’d climbed into the truck and looked over at me, I recognised the longing in his eyes. The only reason I could tell was because it mirrored my own. After everything that had happened, and not just recently but through the years, being together just felt right. There was part of me that couldn’t help but wonder when the other shoe would drop. Life never went the way you wanted it to. At least mine didn’t.

As the truck bounced down the gravel road, my attention focused on what lay ahead. It was uncanny the connection we had. I’d told Spencer there was somewhere I wanted to go, and with a knowing smirk he’d driven us there. No need for more words.

Up ahead the trees cleared as Spencer spun the truck in a wide arc and crunched to a halt. I didn’t wait for him before jumping from the cab and running around to the back of the truck.

“Fuck me!” I exclaimed under my breath.

“Later,” I heard Spencer groan as he wandered around and slid into his place beside me.

Looking up into his face, I saw how firmly his jaw was clenched. It was like he was holding something back. Something painful. Something that was torturing him. After everything he’d held my hand through, I had to do something to make it easier for him. The only thing I could think of was being close to him. Whether it was a good idea or a terrible idea, I wasn’t entirely sure. I didn’t know if it would make his life better or worse, but I had to try. Stepping deliberately towards him, I watched his eyes intently making sure he knew exactly what I was doing. His gaze never once wavered. But he knew. He always knew.

“Just get over here, Pippi.” He opened up his arms and held me close.

I don’t know how long we stood there and I really didn’t care. We didn’t speak. We didn’t look at each other. Instead I let my eyes wander. I let my heart remember. it was exactly the same in real life as it had been in my imagination for all these years. My heart was thundering and I could feel Spencer’s short sharp breaths on my neck. We were both caught up in the same web of emotions. Both sifting through the same barrage of memories.

Glancing across the still river, I heard a bird squawk before it took off in flight towards the bright blue sky overhead. Up ahead in the clearing, I watched as the old tyre swing dangling in the gum tree rocked back and forth on the breeze. Part of me couldn’t believe it was still hanging. The rope had to be fifteen years old. It had been at least that long since I’d been out here, but right now, curled up against Spencer, I felt like that teenager once more. Stealing a look at the man beside me, I saw the memory reflected in his eyes.

“We should―”

“Sit,” Spencer said, cutting me off.

I was going to say go, but I couldn’t argue. The firmness in his eyes kept me in my place.

A moment later we were in the back of Spencer’s truck, me perched between his legs leaning against his chest while he absentmindedly traced circles on my arms with his fingertips. Fuck, it felt good. How was I ever supposed to go home after this?

And then it was as if he knew the thought that had just danced uninvited through my brain. Spencer kissed my temple so softly that it felt like a kiss from the breeze.

“Stop thinking, Zoe! Just be here with me.”

“I am.” I smiled, snuggling against him even further.

After a while Spencer started talking. “Remember how much fun we used to have out here? How stupid and reckless we were?”

“Don’t you mean how reckless you were?”

“Don’t tell me you’re trying to claim to be an angel now?”

“Hell no! I had a great time out here, but even you have to admit I was way more careful than you.” I laughed as memories flooded me.

Back when I had nothing to lose, I’d been wild. Every challenge those boys threw out I’d accepted without consideration or hesitation. I rode motorbikes through wheat paddocks, not knowing they’d set up jumps along the track. I’d jumped blindly into the murky waters of the river below. I’d raced horses down dirt roads as fast as their legs could carry them. I rough housed with the best of them. They’d never once treated me like I was anything other than one of them. Not once did being a girl get in the way of the easy camaraderie we’d shared.

“You’re thinking again,” Spencer admonished.

“Only good thoughts,” I promised.

“’Bout me?” His rich, deep voice was full of hope.

If I told the truth I’d never live to hear the end of it, but I couldn’t lie to him either. “Maybe,” I taunted, raising his hand to my lips and kissing his knuckles lightly.

“Do you remember…Zoe?”

Gone was the playful banter and suddenly seriousness settled on us. I should’ve known that coming here would inevitably lead to this. Maybe part of me did know and that’s why I wanted to come. Why I needed to. My head was a jumble of emotions and thoughts and confusion and I’d never felt more off balance in my life, but somehow that was okay. Spencer made it okay.

“Of course,” I choked out the words.

“What we had…it was real, wasn’t it?”

I coughed. That was not what I was expecting. I couldn’t believe Spencer doubted our past. I might not be able to understand our future right now, but our past was the one thing I’d never doubted. Not for a second.

“Spencer,” I sighed sadly as I wiggled out of his arms and turned to face him. If I was going to say this, then he damn well was going to look me in the eye when I did.

“It’s okay, Zoe. I get it. We…we were just kids.” His voice sounded so broken, and when I looked into his face I was devastated to see it wasn’t just his voice. He looked broken. It was worse than that. He looked shattered. Devastated. Gutted.

“Bullshit!” I barked, my harsh voice catching his attention as his gaze snapped up to meet mine. “We might have been kids, Spence, but we knew. Of course we did. I loved you with everything that I was. I loved you then and I love you now. That afternoon, the afternoon I gave you everything I had, right here, right where this truck is parked right now, I knew you’d own me forever. I might have been young, Spencer, but I wasn’t stupid. Neither were you.”

I hadn’t intended to blurt it all out like that, but it was out there now. Once it was out, I couldn’t take it back. I was surprised by the anger that flooded me. I hated that he thought so little of me. That he doubted everything we’d ever had. That he doubted me. It just pissed me off.

“You remembered our spot?” There was awe in his voice that couldn’t be mistaken.

“Of course I fucking remember. It’s not something I could ever forget, no matter how many times I’ve tried to.”

I didn’t want Spencer to know how profound an effect he’d had on my life, even when he hadn’t been in it. He didn’t need to know that in my darkest periods, his face had been the guiding light to pull me from my funk. He didn’t need to know that when certain songs came on the radio, his satisfied smirk danced across my vision. He definitely didn’t need to know the reason I hadn’t eaten a steak in all of these years was because he was the only one who knew how to cook it the way I liked it.

“Zoe,” he murmured as he grasped my face in his hands. “You’re it for me. I know you’re probably not ready to hear this, and I have no idea how this would work, but I need you to know. You’re it. I’ve loved you every moment of my life. I loved you when you married me in the sand pit―”

“We were four!” I exclaimed. He couldn’t be telling the truth. No one finds the love of their life in preschool.

“You remembered?”

“Of course.”

“I’ve loved you forever, Zoe. I know we’ve both lived another lifetime since then, but somehow, when all is said and done, we keep finding our way back to each other. I have to believe there’s a reason. It just can’t be to mess with us.”

I could feel the tears trickling down my cheeks and Spencer silently wiped them away before pressing soft kisses to each of my eyelids. Before I knew it I was straddling him in the back of his truck in broad daylight. I couldn’t contain the giggle.

“This is funny?” he asked with a suggestive smirk on his face.

“Oh come on. This is fucking hilarious.” I laughed harder, burying my head in his shoulder.

Spencer’s hands were everywhere all at once, leaving a trail of goose pimples in their wake. “Glad I amuse you,” his deep, husky voice growled.

Pulling back from his chest, I rested my hands on his shoulders. “Spence, don’t you see? Think about it. Where are we? And we just basically confessed to each other that in one way or another we’ve both been in love since we were four years old. Now you’re thinking of the one hundred and one ways you can get me out of these jeans and debating which is the quickest.” I cocked my eyebrow at him as he groaned.

“You’re a witch, woman!” he chided as he ground the bulge of his jeans against me. And what an impressive bulge it was.

“No. I’m right.”

Grunting, Spencer picked me up and plopped me down beside him. “Yeah, you are,” he groaned as he leapt from the back of the truck as if his pants were on fire.

Tipping my head back, I laughed. Hard. My ribs ached but I didn’t care. I couldn’t. It felt so damn good. Everything about this moment did.

“Come here,” he demanded, his face stoic.

On shaky legs, I wobbled carefully towards the edge of the truck. Spencer reached up and lifted me down like I weighed nothing at all. As he slid me down his body, I didn’t let go. I couldn’t. Even if I wanted to let go, my hands had other ideas.

“You’re gonna to be the death of me,” he growled into my ear before nibbling on my ear lobe.

“Well, the feeling’s mutual,” I admitted, wriggling out of reach.

I didn’t want him to let go but I needed a second to breathe. To get myself together. I was falling head first into Spencer and I didn’t know if it was the smartest thing I’d ever do, but also I wasn’t dumb enough to think I had any choice. A long time ago I’d given my heart to the boy who ate dirt. Somehow, that boy had grown into the man standing before me, offering me the world.

“Come on. Let’s head back,” Spencer suggested, shaking his head and walking away from me.

Following his lead, I shuffled towards the car and climbed in. The engine roared to life, but for a moment we didn’t move. We just sat there in the deafening silence.

“Spencer?” I questioned, unsure why he hadn’t moved.

Turning his head, he looked at me. Or right through me. His intense stare was fixed on me. My breathing was shallow and my heart took off. I don’t know what force it was that propelled me across the console and into his lap, but that’s exactly where I ended up.

“Zoe,” he breathed before locking his lips over mine.

It was everything a first kiss should be. Sweet and gentle and reassuring before turning decidedly darker. Before I had time to take a breath, Spencer tipped my head, changing the angle, and kissed me as if it was our first and last. The years of pent-up passion and hunger exploded. Our tongues danced together and I heard a needy moan come from somewhere. Maybe it was me. Maybe it was Spencer. I didn’t know. It didn’t matter. Threading my hands in his hair, I held on for dear life. I never wanted to wake up from this moment. It was ours. Forever. Nothing and no one would take this from us. As Spencer’s fingers dug into my hips, I knew he’d leave a mark, but I didn’t care. I don’t know how long we sat there, our lips fused together, but by the time we broke apart we were both panting heavily.

“Spencer…”

“Yeah?”

“Take me home,” I panted, nipping at his bottom lip as his eyes widened in surprise.

“You sure?”

“Now, Spencer!”