Coming Home (Homeward Bound Series Book 1) (15 page)

Chapter 26

SPENCER

“What did that steak ever do to you?” a voice asked from behind me, scaring the shit out of me.

Spinning around, I came face to face with a grinning Derek holding a six pack. He’d obviously heard. “Did you smell dinner from your place?”

“Yeah.”

“Bullshit.”

“I may have also heard you knocked Jared ass over tit at training tonight, so when the SOS text came, here I am,” he said with a wicked gleam in his eye. Instantly I knew who had the big mouth. In the mood I was in, I found myself wishing I could kick something. Hard.

“You eating?”

“You offering?”

I just nodded and tossed a couple more sausages on the barbeque. I’d already been cooking enough to feed a small army and now thankfully I wouldn’t have much waste. Derek cracked open a beer and handed it to me. He didn’t need to know about the three I’d already downed in the past half hour. Tonight was just one of those nights.

For a while we just stood staring at the grill, entranced by the flames as they licked and caressed the meat. The smell was intoxicating. My stomach grumbled loudly in appreciation, causing Derek to chuckle loudly. He opened himself a second beer and flopped down into the patio chair before turning his attention back on me.

“So, you gonna tell me?” he began.

“Tell you?”

I wasn’t dumb. I knew exactly why he was there. It didn’t mean I had to make this easy for him, either. I wasn’t a criminal on trial, but I knew at some point he’d use all of his police training to get what he wanted. For now, while I had some semblance of control, I’d make him work for it and enjoy every minute of it.

“Don’t play dumb, Spencer. It doesn’t suit you.” He laughed gruffly at his own joke. “What happened tonight? I mean, I know you’re tough, but you’re supposed to be tough against the opposition, not beat the shit out of your own team mates at training.”

“They pissed me off.”

“How?”

“Usual bullshit.”

“So they were mouthing off, slacking off, and generally having a good time?”

“Yeah, that’s about right.” I knew I was being an asshole. I wasn’t giving away much. It was just more fun this way. Flipping meat provided me with an excuse to avoid his harsh, direct gaze.

“Isn’t it supposed to be fun?”

“Winning is fun.”

“Spencer, cut the crap. It’s just me. No one else will know. So stop trying to be tough and mean and tell me the God damn truth. What the fuck is up your ass?” Frustration rolled off him in waves. I grinned inwardly. I’d managed to push his buttons faster than I’d ever achieved before.

“It’s nothing,” I dismissed casually.

I knew exactly why I was pissed off. Hell, I’d been a monster all week. Knowing it and saying it out loud were two very different things. Part of me―the sensible part, the part that was thinking rationally―knew as soon as I said it out loud it would be real. It was as scary as hell. I didn’t get to be scared. It wasn’t a luxury I could afford.

“Fuck off! It’s nothing. Spit it out,” he half growled. I spun around fast. Too fast. I almost toppled from my feet.

It took me a moment before I was steady once again and my focus snapped back. “Zoe,” I half barked, half moaned.

“Zoe?”

“Yeah.”

Now I’d put it out there all the fury was back with a fucking vengeance. That girl would be the death of me―or her. Right now if I could have gotten my hands on her there was a strong chance I’d wring her perfect little neck. Okay, I probably wouldn’t have, but damn, it felt good just to imagine.

It had taken her barely forty-eight hours to completely turn my world upside down and I didn’t know if I would ever see straight again. Everything looked different. Every time I walked into the kitchen, it seemed too big. Too empty without her perched at the bench drinking a coffee. I’d been stupid. Worse than stupid. I was a fucking imbecile. I should’ve changed the sheets on my bed the moment she left, but I’d been so tired that first night I’d just collapsed. Surrounded by her scent. When I woke, I’d somehow managed to wrap myself around the pillow she’d used like it was my lifeline. And like that I was hooked. After that first night I couldn’t bring myself to wash away the last traces of her. It wasn’t even those things that had me about to explode like a fuse on the Fourth of July.

“What about Zoe? Spence?”

“Doesn’t matter.” I didn’t want to talk about it. Not today or any other day. Just thinking about it pissed me off.

“Obviously it does. Tell me,” Derek commanded, slipping seamlessly into cop mode.

Although I’d seen him in action before, it had never been directed my way. Honestly, I was glad. I didn’t like it. Not one fucking bit. “She lied,” I confirmed as I reached down and flicked off the gas.

“About?”

“You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

Derek handed me a plate and I piled up the meat. I’d cooked so much I’d be eating leftovers for a week.

“Are you?” he offered, his face filled with sincerity. Gone was the tough guy act.

“I can’t.” Although it was the truth, I couldn’t believe how hard the words were to say. They seemed to get caught and choke me.

“Well then, neither can I,” he confirmed. I knew it wouldn’t have been any other way. He clasped me on the shoulder. “Let’s eat.”

“Sounds good. Inside, though. Damn mozzies are driving me insane.”

After pulling a loaf of bread, sauce, and some salads from the fridge, we sat in the kitchen and dug in. I didn’t realise how hungry I was until I took that first bite. My steak was over cooked, thank god it still tasted half decent. As I chewed I tried to remember when it was that I’d last eaten a proper meal and realised it had been days. No wonder the food was vanishing before my eyes.

Twenty minutes later I was done. Stuffed so full I don’t think I could have taken another bite. Gulping down the last swig of my beer, I leaned back and belched loudly. The best thing about living with my twin, a twin whose habits were even worse than my own, meant he couldn’t bitch at my disgusting habits.

Derek cleaned his plate before copying my motions. Sometimes it worried me how similar we were. It was like Derek and I were born to be brothers. Some of the things we did were so eerily similar it scared me. Whereas Kane, on the other hand, ninety percent of the time just pissed me off. Silently, side by side, we wrapped up the leftovers and stuffed them back in the fridge, scraped the plates, and dumped them in the dishwasher and filled the bin.

Grabbing us each another beer, Derek snapped them open and herded me into the lounge room. I’d delayed it long enough, the reprieve was over. I was fed and satisfied and now it was time to talk. Shit.

I collapsed into my recliner and kicked up the footrest. This was going to be a painful conversation…the least I could do was be comfortable while I was being grilled.

We looked at each other…daring the other to speak first. But I was a stubborn shit. I wasn’t going to break.

“Well…” Derek caved.

“Yeah?”

“Okay, Spencer. Enough bullshit. What’s going on?”

“You seriously want to know?”

“The way you are right now, I think I need to,” Derek answered firmly as he toyed with the label on his beer.

“That-that…bitch…has completely fucked everything. I mean, I haven’t seen her in fuck knows how long. Then she comes home. I didn’t even know she was coming. She didn’t tell me―”

“I thought you two were best friends?”

“We were. Shit just got in the way. Time. Distance. Life. Other people―”

“In other words, she got a boyfriend or went on a date and you acted like a jealous ass. Zoe called you on it, but you, being the stubborn shit that you are, wouldn’t back down. You wouldn’t apologise?”

“That about sums it up.”

“Okay. Continue.”

“Then I had to be the one to find her. I mean, how fucking twisted is that? And it’s not her fault. I mean, if I could get my hands on the asshole who did that to her, even you, Deputy Doug, wouldn’t be able to stop me.” I looked up, expecting to see Derek’s face to be serious, but was shocked to see agreement written there. I knew he loved Zoe almost as much as I did, so it shouldn’t have surprised me, but it did. “I know she didn’t ask for it and she sure as shit didn’t deserve it, but I had to be the one who found her on the side of the road. Broken and bleeding.” I took a breath. Every single image of that day was replaying in my mind like some torturous film. I felt sick to my stomach, as if I were reliving it again.

“Would you rather it was someone else who found her?” Derek asked, his words hanging in the air between us.

As the thought bounced around my mind, I didn’t really know how to answer. Did I wish someone else had stumbled across Zoe that day? Fuck no. Did I wish the images of that day would stop haunting me every hour of every day? Abso-fucking-lutely. Surely there was a happy medium.

“No,” I spluttered through gritted teeth.

“Huh.”

“What?”

“Just surprised.”

“At?”

“How long it took you to answer,” Derek explained, a satisfied smirk on his lips.

“Asshole.”

“Yep. Anyway, all that I knew. What’d she do that has you wound tighter than spring?”

“She isn’t talking to me.”

“What?”

I didn’t want to get into this. If just thinking about it churned my stomach, surely talking about it wouldn’t be any better. “When she left she was a mess. And not just normal emotional girl mess, but she was a walking talking train wreck. She did it. I followed her out to the road to make sure she made it―”

“Stalker much?”

“Do you want to hear this or not?” I snapped. Derek was not making this easy.

“Sorry,” he apologised, raising his hands in surrender.

“And all I asked is that she text me when she got home. Let me know she made it okay. That was on Sunday night. She should have been back by early evening, but I don’t know. Now she’s avoiding me. She won’t answer my calls. She’s not returning texts. I’ve even taken to Facebook stalking but she hasn’t so much as liked a damn cat picture in more than a week. That damn woman loves those stupid cat photos.”

“You’re really worried, aren’t you?”

“Yeah. I am.”

“What are you gonna do?” Derek asked, all traces of taunting gone from his voice. He was on my side. I should never have doubted he’d be anything but.

“Short of driving down there and checking on her myself, what can I do?” I’d already asked myself the exact same question over and over and over again in the past couple of days. I was embarrassed to admit how many hours I’d spent already debating my options.

“So…why are you still here?”

His question seemed so simple. So simple, yet I didn’t have an answer. I’d considered it and dismissed it so many times I didn’t know if it was a good idea or not. Hearing Derek question why I hadn’t already left put everything in perspective. I wouldn’t relax until I knew she was safe, and getting a text message wasn’t going to satisfy me. I needed to see she was okay.

“I…I don’t know,” I admitted sheepishly, looking down at my hand. I’d made a mess of that. Even though I owned a construction business, these days I spent more time in the office than I did on site. When I did make the occasional site visit it was usually in a suit to get something signed off, or meet someone or to solve some issue. But by Wednesday I was itching to beat the shit out of something. Nailing bits of wood together seemed like a good idea. Twenty minutes and more than a dozen bent nails later, I’d smashed the hammer down on my thumb and completely missed the nail sticking out from the timber. Now my hand was a mess of blue bruises, blood blisters, and red, raw angry skin.

“Leave Saturday morning. Play tomorrow night. You owe the guys after tonight’s shenanigans. Then head to Melbourne and check on our girl,” Derek instructed.

I just nodded. He was right. I owed them. As soon as I’d made it up to the team, I’d go check and make sure Pippi was okay. If she wasn’t…well, she would be. She had to be.

***

After three hours of driving, my body was cursing me. In accordance with Derek’s instructions I’d played last night and I’d played like shit. I’d taken more hits and bumps than I’d had possessions. At one point I’d ended up buried under a pile of fifteen fully grown, sweaty, dirty men at a bounce. I’d copped a foot directly to the thigh, which was now sporting an interesting spur pattern. Right now all I wanted to do was curl up in my bed and sleep it off. I couldn’t sleep, no matter how much I wanted to. My plan had been to leave around dawn, but after three after hours of tossing and turning, I’d given up. I took a scalding hot shower before jumping in the car and heading off.

Spotting a McDonalds up ahead, I took the next exit and pulled in. As soon as I stepped from the car, every pain I’d been trying to ignore came back with a vengeance. Wincing at the bright sun, I slipped my sunglasses on and made my way inside.