Competing With the Star (Star #2) (8 page)

This time he didn’t take my hand as he walked over to Simone and told her we were heading back.

“Whatever, go without me. I’m going to stay with Chase,” Simone said.

“Yeah, but your mom didn’t want you walking back alone, so you need to come with us,” Nick said.

“It’s cool. I’ll walk her back,” Chase said.

“Simone, seriously, come on,” Nick said.

“Just go without me.”

Nick’s mouth was set in a firm line as he started to walk away from them. I had to half run to keep up.

“He’s such a jerk. What does she see in him?” he asked. Then he stopped and looked over his shoulder at me. “Oh, I forgot, he’s super hot. Who could resist him?”

He looked hurt. Normally I’d reassure him that I didn’t find Chase cute, but my feelings were all in a jumble after what I heard in the bathroom. And frankly, his knight in shining armor routine of running to Simone’s rescue wasn’t putting my insecurities to rest at all.

“I can’t believe you’d go for a guy like that,” he said, and then he looked over my head.

“Whatever.”

“He’s not my type.”

“Oh, so hot isn’t your type. Thank you,” he said. “This night is getting better and better.”

“Why do you care so much what she does?”

He stopped and stared at me. “I told you. He practically destroyed her confidence last time they dated and I don’t know why she’d even give him the time of day. I’ve known her forever and I have to look out for her.”

Well, maybe that’s all it was—him watching out for her like a sister, but then he added, “And I care about her.”

My stomach rolled. Maybe it was true and he did have feelings for her.

We walked back to our moms and he was no longer trying to hold my hand. After we sat down, he grabbed a cookie and focused on it as we sat in silence. I felt so alone even though he was sitting two inches from me. My perfect, sweet boyfriend—the one who told me I could always count on him. Did the perfect guy even exist, or was Nick someone I made seem even better than he was in reality?

“Do you want the last cookie?” he asked. I shook my head. “Want to split it?”

I took the half. Well, that was thoughtful. As I chewed the cookie, I racked my brain, trying to see if I could recall any questionable moments between Simone and Nick. He finished his cookie and stared straight ahead at the stage even though there was nothing going on up there. His arms were wrapped around his knees and he was focused on something in the distance. A few minutes ago his focus had been all on me. I leaned back on my elbows, feeling miserable.

“Nick, will you get me another water?” his mom asked.

“Yeah, sure,” he said, getting up. He asked my mother if she wanted anything and then turned to me. “Do you need anything?”

It sounded more like an afterthought. I shook my head.

“Want me to come with you?” I asked.

“Whatever,” he said.

I got up to follow him so my mom wouldn’t wonder why I didn’t go along. He walked in front of me and I could barely keep up.

“If you didn’t want me to come, why didn’t you just say so?” I asked.

He turned around. “I thought maybe you wanted to stay behind in case Chase walked by.”

So he was jealous of Chase. Fabulous.

“Why don’t you go find Simone? It’s obvious you can’t concentrate until she’s safely by your side,” I said, and turned around to walk back. I thought he’d stop me or at least follow me, but when I glanced over my shoulder he was nowhere to be found.

I stopped to get cotton candy and buy myself some time before I went back to the blanket and had to answer where Nick was and why I was alone. But after I paid for it, I realized I had no clue which direction our moms were. Oh crap, I left my phone sitting on the blanket too. My eyes darted around like a lost little kid and I felt like yelling, “I need an adult! I need an adult!”

I scanned the area and everything looked the same—spots of blankets and people—everyone looked alike. Where were my mom and Mrs. Jenkins? And where was Nick? Oh right, he was out looking for another girl while I was standing there like a lost sheep. My life sucked. And seriously, I was alone for two seconds and managed to get lost? What a mature, independent woman I was. Ugh! So lame.

At least I had cotton candy to give me something to do while I turned around, trying to spot the blanket. Then I reached into the plastic bag and felt the bottom. Crap, I was out of candy and I was starting to look weird standing alone and staring. Where did lost teenagers go when they had to admit they had failed at maturity and independence? Here I was hoping my mom would see how adult-like I was and let me go on a real date with Nick and now I was proving I couldn’t be left alone for a minute—not that it mattered since Mr. Wonderful was just using me to pass the time until his dream girl was over her latest crush.

“Hadley?”

I turned around and Lucas was standing there. Fighting back the urge to hug him, I asked how he was.

“Okay. I was with Reagan, but she ditched me for someone else and now I can’t find where I was sitting. This night sucks. Who are you sitting with?”

“Nick, Simone, and our moms, but I got turned around and I have no idea where any of them are.”

“Want to go get a soda or something?” he asked.

We walked over and got something to drink.

“Can I ask you something?” he said. “Why are girls so flakey? I mean, why did Reagan come with me and then ditch me when some older guy came along?”

“Girls aren’t the only ones like that. Guys do stuff like that too.”

“I don’t.”

He looked sad and it was a side of Lucas I had never seen—a sensitive side. Now I realized why Pilar still liked him.

“Well, why can’t guys be truthful about who they like and not just lead people on?” I asked. “Why don’t people realize we all have feelings?”

Lucas stared at me and I worried he was going to come back with some smart aleck comment, but instead he nodded and said, “Truth.”

“I see my mom,” I said. “Do you want to come over to where we were sitting?”

“Yeah, sure.”

We walked over to the blanket and Mrs. Jenkins and my mother stared at me and asked where Nick was. I said he went to look for Simone and my mom raised an eyebrow.

“This is Lucas. He’s in Nick’s class,” I said.

We sat down and I offered him a peanut butter bar. Then I heard my phone vibrating next to me. I picked it up. Five missed texts from Nick. I checked them and he was asking where I was.

“Hadley, hon. Mrs. Jenkins needs to take her meds and Nick’s not back with the water. Can you run and get her a bottle?” Mom asked, handing me a five dollar bill.

Great, he let his mother linger near death without her medication to go rescue the girl of his dreams. Did I know how to pick ’em or what?

“Sure,” I said, and asked Lucas if he wanted to come with me.

We got the water and then I felt a hand on my arm.

“There you are. I was looking for you everywhere,” Nick said, looking concerned.

“I went back to the blanket.”

“I went by it and you weren’t there.”

“Well, I got a little turned around and lost,” I said.

“I was worried about you.”

“Did you find Simone?”

“No. I went to get the water when you ran off and then went to find you,” he said. “I know crowds make you nervous and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

My cheeks felt warm. “Oh, thanks. I got your mom some water.”

He looked behind me at Lucas.

“We should head back,” I said. “Your mom needs to take her meds.”

He was staring at Lucas like he had never seen him before. “Here,” he said, handing me the water bottle. “I’ll go find Simone.”

Lucas spotted some other friends on the way back to the blanket. “Thanks, Hadley. I’ll see you in school. I hope I didn’t make things weird for you and Nick. He seemed worried about you and I don’t think he was too crazy to find you alone with me.”

I shrugged. “I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“Well, he’d be dumb not to be jealous. See you around,” Lucas said, and walked away. I wondered what he meant by that.

I gave Mrs. Jenkins her water and Nick walked up with Simone. She seemed irritated with him and made an excuse to go sit with Asia and Pilar by the fence. Nick rolled his eyes when she got up.

“How come you didn’t answer my texts?” he asked me when he sat down.

“I didn’t take my phone with me.”

“Oh, I thought you were ignoring me on purpose and I didn’t know what I did wrong,” he said, starting ahead. “Was it something to do with Lucas?”

“No, we just ran into each other.”

“Do you have a thing for Chase or something?” he asked.

“No. The first time I ever laid eyes on him was tonight.”

“Then why did you go on and on about how cute he was?”

Great, obsessing about Simone’s ex.

“I didn’t, I just pointed out why she was probably still into him. Why does it bother you so much?”

“Because it’s not great to hear when the girl you like is drooling over some other guy,” he said.

I hugged my knees to my chest. The fireworks were starting. At least everyone would be looking up at the sky and not at my face, which was contorting weirdly as I tried not to start crying.

“I would never talk about some girl like that in front of you,” he said. He was staring down at the blanket and not at the flashes above us.

“What?”

“I wouldn’t go on about how cute some girl was in front of you. It…never mind,” he said.

“Tell me,” I said.

“I mean, I get he’s better looking than me. I guess I somehow hoped you didn’t notice that.” He traced a circle in the blanket with his finger.

My heart skipped. He cared that much about what I thought?

I leaned over and put my hand on his arm. “I wasn’t checking out some guy in front of you. I wouldn’t do that,” I said. “I didn’t even notice him until you pointed him out.”

He looked up at the sky. “And then you began plotting how to slip him your number?”

“Nah, he’s too arrogant-looking for me,” I said. “And he would never go halfsies on a cookie with me. He’d eat it all by himself.”

Nick gave a tiny smirk and I lay back on the blanket to watch the fireworks. Pretty soon he moved back too and slid his hand over mine. We stared up at the sky, but I wondered if he was thinking about me or Simone.

Then he squeezed my hand. I waited a minute and squeezed back.

Chapter Eleven

The next day, Charlotte came over. While I waited for her to arrive, I sent Nick a text. He wrote me back, but all he said was Pilar’s grandmother had been taken to the hospital this afternoon.

Me: Is she going to be okay?

Nick:
No clue. Someone said they thought she had a stroke. I can give you Pilar’s number if you want to text her.

I stared at her number on the screen. I hardly knew Pilar, yet I knew family was important to her and it seemed like she didn’t have anyone else to confide in when it came to that sort of thing.

I told Charlotte what happened and asked if I should text Pilar.

“Yeah, I’d feel super alone if something happened to my grandpa,” she said. “Definitely text her.”

Me: Hey, just heard your grandma was in the hospital. Hope everything’s okay.

Pilar:
Thanks. They think she had a stroke. My parents are staying at the hospital and my stupid brother is about to go out with his new girlfriend. I hate being alone, but you can’t have more than two people in the ICU at a time.

Me: Do you want to come over? Char’s here now.

Pilar: Is that cool? I could have Kevin drop me off before he leaves on his date.

Me: Sure.

I went to check with my mom if it was okay and explained what happened.

“Sure, it’s fine. I’m going over to Grandma and Grandpa’s, so if you need anything, call me there. I’ll leave some cash if you guys want to order pizza. There’s not much in the fridge.”

Mom called in the pizza order and left as I sat Charlotte down.

“Okay, I want to talk to you about something before Pilar gets here. It’s really bothering me,” I said.

I told her about what I overheard in the bathroom and her eyes widened.

“Well, Simone is one of those girls every guy likes,” Char said. “Maybe he has a thing for her, but she has never said anything about him.” Then, realizing what she said, her mouth dropped opened. “I didn’t mean it like it sounded.”

“No, you’re probably right. Who wouldn’t like her? She’s funny, sweet, gorgeous, and outgoing. Any guy would die to go out with her,” I said.

“But he likes you,” Char said.

“Do you think they ever went out?”

She shook her head. “I think she would have mentioned it. Why don’t you ask him if you’re worried?”

“Hi, have we met?” I said, reaching out my hand. “I’m Hadley, and I’m not great at confrontation. And you are?”

“Ha ha, funny girl,” Charlotte said, rolling her eyes. “You said you can talk to him about anything, so just ask if he ever had a crush on her. He’ll say no and you can put your mind at ease.”

I shook my head. “I’d just look as insecure as I feel.”

“Okay, why don’t you ask Pilar or Asia?”

“Not Asia,” I said, and she stared at me. “Well, I wouldn’t want to put her in a funny spot with her best friend.”

The doorbell rang then and I let Pilar in.

“Hey, come on in. We’re just getting some pizza if you want some. It should be here any minute.”

“Oh, okay.”

I started to close the door when I saw the pizza delivery guy pull up. I grabbed the cash and paid him.

Pilar and I walked to the kitchen where Charlotte was setting out plates and glasses for us. “What kind of soda do you want?” Char asked her.

“Do you want me to make you some tea?” I asked. “I remember you having tea with your pizza.”

“Is that cool? I don’t do well if I drink cold stuff with hot food,” Pilar said.

“Sure. My mom just has English breakfast tea. That okay?”

“Sure.”

We sat down to eat and it felt awkward. I didn’t know Pilar that well and she and Charlotte didn’t speak much at school.

“So, any news on your grandma?” I asked.

“They’re running tests. My mom said they were told she can be moved out of the ICU now, but they don’t have a room available yet so she’s still there.”

“I’m sorry,” Charlotte said, her brown eyes watering. “I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to my grandpa.”

Pilar shifted, uncomfortable. “Well, she’s had a mini-stroke before and it affected her right arm a little and her mind, so I have no idea what this will mean for her.”

“Is that why she’s in a nursing home?” Char asked.

Pilar nodded. “She has vascular dementia.”

We sat in silence and I had no idea what to say.

“Okay, now I’ve made this all awkward,” Pilar said. “Can we talk about something to take my mind off all the crap?”

Charlotte looked at me. “Maybe you could ask Pilar about that thing you were telling me about.”

I wanted to kill Char. I didn’t want the world to know what I overheard.

“What’s up?” Pilar asked.

“I overheard some girls saying stuff about Nick and Simone, but please don’t let it get back to Simone that I was asking you about it.”

She nodded. “Sure, what is it?

I told her the whole craptastic story of what I overheard in the bathroom.

Pilar bit her lip. “Nick did have a crush on Simone. Like, a huge crush and he was devastated when she ignored him and went out with this other guy, Chase. I guess Nick told people he didn’t ask her out because she was one of his friends, but everyone knew he was in love with her and she only liked older guys.”

I felt like throwing up. “When was this?”

“It started when she first moved here and it went on until the summer. She kind of thought about dating him, but he was like a brother to her and I guess she was a little thrown by how crazy he was about her,” Pilar said. “Plus, you know she’s into older guys.”

I was his second choice. All the things he said about me, he had felt for her first. And what was worse? He probably still did, but he just couldn’t be with her.

“But honestly, I listen to how much Nick talks about you,” Pilar said. “Even Simone said he’s way more serious about you than any of his other girlfriends.”

Other girlfriends? How many had there been?

“Yeah, Simone even said he brings you up all the time. At first, she just thought he was trying to make her jeal…”

Pilar stopped. This was getting worse and worse.

“So he was in love with Simone,” I said.

“He was fifteen when it started, so what did he know about real love?” Pilar said.

“I’m fifteen,” I said, and then it hit me. I was the same age he had been and I knew I was in love with him, so of course he knew his feelings for Simone were real then. I felt crushed.

“Are you okay?” Char asked.

“Yes. No. Yes, well, no…is there any chance Simone has ever said anything where it sounded like Nick was one hundred percent over her?”

Pilar fell silent. “Well, he’s into you now, so there’s that,” she said.

How reassuring. Now I could go ahead and put a down payment on the wedding napkins with our names printed on them.

“I should have known the answer might be something like this.”

“If you’re worried he still likes her, you could ask him. Or her,” Pilar said. “If she thought he was too young then…” She trailed off. “I mean, she does like older guys.”

“Right, I’m sure she just sees him as being like a brother,” I said. “She said he was kind of boring. Actually she said he and I together were kind of boring. That maybe he just liked me as a safe choice.”

“Well, there you go,” Pilar said. “Simone never goes for the sweet, safe, nice guy. She likes the bad boy, so you don’t have to worry.”

“Unless her whole meltdown at the funhouse leaves her craving a safer environment—like this hamster in this experiment I’ve been reading about. The hamster went out to explore and got scared and now he always wants to play it safe,” Charlotte said.

Pilar and I stared at her.

“Well, that kind of fits what we were talking about,” Char said, shrugging.

“I guess. Anyway, do you have any idea who those girls were in the bathroom?” Pilar asked. “They might not even know what they’re talking about.”

I shook my head and said I never saw their faces.

“Well, the only guy she’s talked about last night and today was Chase. I’ll show you her last text. And see? She posted a pic of her and Chase at the fireworks last night. I think it’s safe to say she’s into him right now,” Pilar said, holding out her phone.

“Holy crap, he looks twenty-five,” Charlotte said, peering at the picture.

Pilar’s mom called her with an update from the hospital and Char and I went into the other room to give her some privacy.

Pilar came into the family room and said her parents were going to pick her up.

“I guess Grandma’s stable for the night. They’re going to keep her for a few days and then it looks like she’ll be going back to the nursing home,” she said.

I walked Pilar out and she stopped and turned to me. “Thanks for inviting me over. I would have lost it staying home by myself.”

“I hope she gets better.”

“Yeah, she won’t, but…I get what you mean,” Pilar said. “Like at least it won’t be a lot worse, huh? Anyway, I’ll watch Simone and let you know if she says anything. She has always had a thing for Chase, so honestly, as long as he’s in the picture, you’re fine. I’d be more worried about Reagan than her at this point.”

I nodded and she went over to her mom’s car.

***

That night, I got into my bed and stared at the ceiling. Common sense said to leave it alone and hope that what was in the past could stay in the past, but my gut said that my overthinking brain would never leave it alone until I knew the truth. I’d spend every conversation dissecting his words and trying to figure out if Nick still had feelings for Simone. I’d have to either address it with him or swallow my feelings—and neither seemed like a good option to me.

I picked up my copy of
Celebrity Weekly
magazine. There was a picture of Valeria walking on the beach with her boyfriend, the lead singer of the Sexy Lil Punkins. I knew he had dated several actresses before her and I wondered if she ever felt weird about that. Did she compare herself to his exes? How come no one ever talked about that? I mean, lots of people dated someone who had been in love with another person before them, so how did they all deal with it? Did they assume that love had died off when the relationship ended, or was everyone just walking around with a broken heart and feelings that weren’t being returned that they were shoving deep down in their core? I thought life would be perfect when I finally had a group of friends to hang out with and a boyfriend. Boy was I ever wrong about that. I was more confused than ever.